Punch / Almanack: Punch / Almanack (1845)

'OCKET

The Triumpha BlCiEMBEIRo -P™*-

1 lVf ;RKP0BT °f thb »ailt papebs being raised to sixpence. The

iliVl Herald wishing to go AaZ/ the hog. (N.B. A is a shilling.)

a class estabmbhbd at SoHBBSET house to instruct women in

wood k.ngraving ; the Shes engraving the blocks with Heb {ease.)

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3~YJU Remarkable presence of MiKi). A gentleman being pursued by
vv I Mr. Levy, the sheriff's officer, took refuse in a pork-shop.
AiTu Prince Albert at thkSmithpixld Cattle Show gets a nus for

j I Hisrios; and so makes " a purse out of a solo's ear."
£j;Tp Baptist chapel at Stratford broken into. The "plate" bring
I pewter, the thieves leave it behind them—the thieves too

6.S St. JlUtoIaS. [genteel to take a pull out of the "venter."

8 M ffionceptlon ot i>. V. fH.

9|1u How to prevent pits. Buy a coat of Moses and Son.
1 /-vI-itt The Duke op Cleveland proposes to add two wings to Rabt
IU, W Castle. A pair of whirs I with an extraordinary flight of stairs.
1 1 HP Chinese guns presented as trophies to tub Queen. A pretty
1 1 JH specimen of the China tars \vase). [Keep your temper, reader.]

Bill proposed to put the Militia on a better footing. Better

footing-1 try ankle-jacks, and let them be well welted.
The Westminster boys perform one op Terence's plays.
Wright would beat them any day at the " Jdelphi."

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Sunuap.

Ruling Passion, &c. An Attorney, being given over by his doctors,

issues a writ of " lie exeat regno " against himself.
Doa.stealing vert irkvalhnt in the metropolis. Several old

ladies, having lost their pets, wish their pugs would "turn up"

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The Due db Bordeaux, heir to the French throne, visits

Birmingham. La jeune France cuts its heir.
Return of the piece of crystal abstracted during the feus

at Chats worth, showing the person who took it was no gem -an.
Several sums in silver found in bats' nests at Perth,

rats, as Sibthorpe would say, turning micers (misers).
Alarming Failure in the City. Sir Peter Laurie asks. Why
Hungerford Bridge and the Thames Tunnel are like badly-dresseo
[joints ? 'Cos one's owr-doDe, and Mother's under-done.

Sunrjap.

M New Calculating Machine, invented by Dr. Roth. Indeed
Roth must be a rum old Cocker.
Ebuption of Mount jEtna. Another rash breaking out of the poor
old " crater." . .

Malicious report. Some malicious-disposed persons have circulated
a rumour that the fountains in Trafalgar-square have been seen to
(ttlltiStmaS JBaj>. fjiiai, during church-time on Sundays.

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St. Stcpten.
St. Sotjn.
SunOaa?.

Frequent robberies in Hyde Park. Shameful attack on the
«lung> of the metropolis !" !

Mr. Roebuck denies in the Times that " he has sold himself to
the Tories ;" there being no " bidders" for the " lot."

Ringing the changes.—Having rung the changes on 300 aubjectSi
Punch rings for Judy and the gruel, and proceeds to tallow his nose. |

Bubbles of the Tear.—Fashionable Proprietary Chapels.

CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES.

Now list your doors, cork your soles, and tallow your noses. Now
acour your raisins, and whip your syllabubs. Now look up your
greengrocers for evening parties. Now kid your knockers, and flannel
your Sella for boxing-day.

THE WASSAIL BOWL.

Robert of Gloster thinks that the Wassail bowl was so called because
there Was-ale (easily corrupted into Wassail) in it. Philip of Kensing-
ton thinks it might have been called Wassail, because he Was-Ul after
drinking too much of it.

THINGS TO BE REMEMBERED AT CHRISTMAS.

That the mistletoe only comes once a year. Young ladies should bear
this in mind before they say "Don't" to young gentlemen. That private
boxes are only made to hold six, and that mothers should not try to cram
eight children into them, besides herself, papa, and the governess,

BLESSINGS OF THE POLICE FORCE.

Policemen are public instructors. They're all lettered to teach
maid-servants their alphabet. That's the reason they haunt people's
areas. They 're paid to be well-informed, and so should know all the
cooks on board-wages. and every housemaid that finds her own tea and
sugar. Policemen are now known, in common with the " Patent easy
shining black lead," as the " Housemaid's best friend."

COAL MEASURE IN LODGING-HOUSES.

1 Coalscuttle makes . . . . i sack.

2 sacks .... . . 1 ton.

10 tons . . . SO fires.

50 fires........{ FM»&01 fte Laa^ady

........\ all the year round.

The price is very difficult to estimate as it varies from half-a-crown

a scuttle to sixpence a shovelful.

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