DOI issue:
Punch’s Almanack for 1849
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17038#0003
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOE 1849.
THE LADY'S ALMANACK.
S obi"81* «Spii-??"-~Wadibeetles, spiders, ants, mice, crossings, long-bearded French-
kA>. of \v mullners' bills, fast men, and certain gentlemen after dinner, are all so
%Nt p " man's fear-
t»» °' V°U canrNKRs—rhe "West for whist, the youngest for dancing, and for marriage—
CbJifj ■ **^'IS—The Parson at St. George's, Hanover Square.
. If.' "le Oiri l?atller to the Man," says Wordsworth ; but, as ladies never grow older than
*° M Grandmother to the Woman.
ft cqi S°oi sha™" Best Vinrgar.—A young gentleman treading upon ayoung lady's dress
'Slle^eat Jr~P vinegar; but a friend being brought in to dinner when there is nothing
, C„, ,tt"e i,„,ce! the most piquant quality, the smallest drop of which makes a woman's
Vi6» hours afterwards.
, dH^t "tag laaies shou,d take not t0 8it near the piano . for it is a .known fact
Ik'6 >in he hZt s caused more Dreadful Colds than all the thin shoes and draughts in the
i%t Soo„ ost beautiful creatures, who were perfectly well and laughing the minute before,
Mm bava'',I>roacl>ed Grand Broadwood than they have been suddenly seized with a sore
lost in a minute the use of their voice. This complaint is less taking as the
8 older, and rarely has any effect in a family where there are several sisters.
THE VALENTINE.
Little Foot Page. " I say, Maria, What's a rhyme to Cupid !"
"tmia. " Why, Stupid rhymes to Copid—Don't it, Stupid?"
The Mathimonial Market.—Buy in the cheapest, and sell in the dearest.
How to Make a Bonnet.—Take a walk on a fine day down Kegent Street. Make 1 long
stop at each bonnet-shop — miss 2 or 3 of the first ; pull up at fourth, and fix your husband's
attention with a good running " Hem 1 " Drop 1 " Pet " and 2 " Ducks ; " pass your arm
smoothly through his. Pine-draw 2 or 3 sighs, and draw him gently inside. Work several
rounds of open smiles, and rum off a long chain of " Loves." Do not miss a single point,
but take up with a fine snap every " Not," and cut it instantly. If there is any difficulty,
knit your brows, and purse your lips, and prepare to cast off after the crochet fashion. Repeat
this at every shop, and by running the same rig the whole length of the street, you will be sure
to have a very pretty bonnet by the time you reach home.
Heaven-born Smi'golkrs.—Every woman is born with a natural taste for smuggling.
This may be accounted for by the spirit of contradiction there is in the sex, which makes them
consider it a duty to oppose the recognised customs of^very country.
Fkmjnink Proverb.—Love me, love my cat.
Courtship.— a lover should be treated with the same gentleness as a new glove. The voung
lady should i»t 1 him on with the utmost tenderness at first, only making the smallest advance
at a time, till she gradually gains upon him, and twists him ultimately round her little finger ;
whereas the voung lady who is hasty, and in too great a hurry, will never get a lover to take her
hand, but be" left with nothing but her wits at her fingers' ends.
" The dear Girls really must have some new Bonnets, for thet
cannot possibly wear those nasty, shabby, dirty, old winter things
any longer."
S^w10 "*Ncii.-There is a
f\fi r name, we will call ;t La Flirtation
very pretty dance, which young ladies are very fond of leading eluded by the daughter being poussetted round the Conservatory, and chaaaezed up to bed. The
gentleman does the cavalie
promenades slowly home.
Valuable Advice to Tetchv Gentlemen.—Our old grandmother used to say to our old
grandfather, ** It *s useless quarrelling, my dear, for you know we must make it up again."
<f **pai. 'mncb.—There is a very pretty dance, which young la
Of^bed6™' *S? whif,h isgenerallv P^d to a very pretty tune, but which "has never been gentleman does'the'cavalie? ^7ouTof the" house, advances to a lanternV
°ett» following are the principal figures of this popular dance, which, for the want
r jj^ "aiiiij, we win out lia ri.iKiAiiuH ; —
j£MecLFIOuRH- {Before Supper).—The lady and gentleman meet, take hands, and retire
W^ver corner m tne room. They sit, exchange glances, smile, and join in a general round
ti tlon' The gentleman makes the first advance, the lady the second. This continues
* to ,} efl* wnen Mamma comes forward, and the gentleman goes off to the right, and the
Sjj- 16 !eft, and Mamma is left to go through the Chalne des Dames by herself.
Hh^ara^i0™** Supper).—The gentleman hands across chicken, ham, jelly, and trifle,
1) ctacL hythe lady, and empty plates returned. They take wine, and balancez. Bonbons
tighter *? exchanged several times, when Mamma comes across from the other side, and
of £:i8Sez out of tne room. Gentleman sits opposite to pigeou-pie, and goes down the
Tn,H lobster salad and up again.
St0p to pKT' {-Afier Supper).—Lady chassez out of the room. Gentleman follows. Grand
t>l0l&an °II8ervatory. l'oussette from corner to corner, concluding with a quiet set on
Cnltto with k o^ops her glove ; the gentleman fait la rivirence, and pockets the same.
68 do ou<met' They join hands, talk, laugh, nod, and whisper to side faces, when Mamma
wn the centi*. and galops across to lady. They dos-d-dos, and the dance is con-
Female Extravagance.—The incurable love of f* bargains."
" When things get to the worst, they generally take a turn for the better." This proverb
applies more particularly to a lady's silk dress—when she cannot get a new one.
Ladies' Sports and Pastimes.—The greatest amusement, when you have nothing else to
do, is shopping. It can be indulged also at the very cheapest rate ; for you can enjoy a good
hour's entertainment for a yard of ribbon, or run through a bankrupts stoGk merely fora paper
of pins.
Another sport—is putting your husband's papers to rights. It Is best to be present when
he attempts to look for anything, so to be a witness of his distress and confusion.
Luggage.—A lady who had a steamboat full of luggage, made an excuse for it by saying,
" she was going to Rome, and wouldn't for the world be without the Thirty-nine Articles."
THE LADY'S ALMANACK.
S obi"81* «Spii-??"-~Wadibeetles, spiders, ants, mice, crossings, long-bearded French-
kA>. of \v mullners' bills, fast men, and certain gentlemen after dinner, are all so
%Nt p " man's fear-
t»» °' V°U canrNKRs—rhe "West for whist, the youngest for dancing, and for marriage—
CbJifj ■ **^'IS—The Parson at St. George's, Hanover Square.
. If.' "le Oiri l?atller to the Man," says Wordsworth ; but, as ladies never grow older than
*° M Grandmother to the Woman.
ft cqi S°oi sha™" Best Vinrgar.—A young gentleman treading upon ayoung lady's dress
'Slle^eat Jr~P vinegar; but a friend being brought in to dinner when there is nothing
, C„, ,tt"e i,„,ce! the most piquant quality, the smallest drop of which makes a woman's
Vi6» hours afterwards.
, dH^t "tag laaies shou,d take not t0 8it near the piano . for it is a .known fact
Ik'6 >in he hZt s caused more Dreadful Colds than all the thin shoes and draughts in the
i%t Soo„ ost beautiful creatures, who were perfectly well and laughing the minute before,
Mm bava'',I>roacl>ed Grand Broadwood than they have been suddenly seized with a sore
lost in a minute the use of their voice. This complaint is less taking as the
8 older, and rarely has any effect in a family where there are several sisters.
THE VALENTINE.
Little Foot Page. " I say, Maria, What's a rhyme to Cupid !"
"tmia. " Why, Stupid rhymes to Copid—Don't it, Stupid?"
The Mathimonial Market.—Buy in the cheapest, and sell in the dearest.
How to Make a Bonnet.—Take a walk on a fine day down Kegent Street. Make 1 long
stop at each bonnet-shop — miss 2 or 3 of the first ; pull up at fourth, and fix your husband's
attention with a good running " Hem 1 " Drop 1 " Pet " and 2 " Ducks ; " pass your arm
smoothly through his. Pine-draw 2 or 3 sighs, and draw him gently inside. Work several
rounds of open smiles, and rum off a long chain of " Loves." Do not miss a single point,
but take up with a fine snap every " Not," and cut it instantly. If there is any difficulty,
knit your brows, and purse your lips, and prepare to cast off after the crochet fashion. Repeat
this at every shop, and by running the same rig the whole length of the street, you will be sure
to have a very pretty bonnet by the time you reach home.
Heaven-born Smi'golkrs.—Every woman is born with a natural taste for smuggling.
This may be accounted for by the spirit of contradiction there is in the sex, which makes them
consider it a duty to oppose the recognised customs of^very country.
Fkmjnink Proverb.—Love me, love my cat.
Courtship.— a lover should be treated with the same gentleness as a new glove. The voung
lady should i»t 1 him on with the utmost tenderness at first, only making the smallest advance
at a time, till she gradually gains upon him, and twists him ultimately round her little finger ;
whereas the voung lady who is hasty, and in too great a hurry, will never get a lover to take her
hand, but be" left with nothing but her wits at her fingers' ends.
" The dear Girls really must have some new Bonnets, for thet
cannot possibly wear those nasty, shabby, dirty, old winter things
any longer."
S^w10 "*Ncii.-There is a
f\fi r name, we will call ;t La Flirtation
very pretty dance, which young ladies are very fond of leading eluded by the daughter being poussetted round the Conservatory, and chaaaezed up to bed. The
gentleman does the cavalie
promenades slowly home.
Valuable Advice to Tetchv Gentlemen.—Our old grandmother used to say to our old
grandfather, ** It *s useless quarrelling, my dear, for you know we must make it up again."
<f **pai. 'mncb.—There is a very pretty dance, which young la
Of^bed6™' *S? whif,h isgenerallv P^d to a very pretty tune, but which "has never been gentleman does'the'cavalie? ^7ouTof the" house, advances to a lanternV
°ett» following are the principal figures of this popular dance, which, for the want
r jj^ "aiiiij, we win out lia ri.iKiAiiuH ; —
j£MecLFIOuRH- {Before Supper).—The lady and gentleman meet, take hands, and retire
W^ver corner m tne room. They sit, exchange glances, smile, and join in a general round
ti tlon' The gentleman makes the first advance, the lady the second. This continues
* to ,} efl* wnen Mamma comes forward, and the gentleman goes off to the right, and the
Sjj- 16 !eft, and Mamma is left to go through the Chalne des Dames by herself.
Hh^ara^i0™** Supper).—The gentleman hands across chicken, ham, jelly, and trifle,
1) ctacL hythe lady, and empty plates returned. They take wine, and balancez. Bonbons
tighter *? exchanged several times, when Mamma comes across from the other side, and
of £:i8Sez out of tne room. Gentleman sits opposite to pigeou-pie, and goes down the
Tn,H lobster salad and up again.
St0p to pKT' {-Afier Supper).—Lady chassez out of the room. Gentleman follows. Grand
t>l0l&an °II8ervatory. l'oussette from corner to corner, concluding with a quiet set on
Cnltto with k o^ops her glove ; the gentleman fait la rivirence, and pockets the same.
68 do ou<met' They join hands, talk, laugh, nod, and whisper to side faces, when Mamma
wn the centi*. and galops across to lady. They dos-d-dos, and the dance is con-
Female Extravagance.—The incurable love of f* bargains."
" When things get to the worst, they generally take a turn for the better." This proverb
applies more particularly to a lady's silk dress—when she cannot get a new one.
Ladies' Sports and Pastimes.—The greatest amusement, when you have nothing else to
do, is shopping. It can be indulged also at the very cheapest rate ; for you can enjoy a good
hour's entertainment for a yard of ribbon, or run through a bankrupts stoGk merely fora paper
of pins.
Another sport—is putting your husband's papers to rights. It Is best to be present when
he attempts to look for anything, so to be a witness of his distress and confusion.
Luggage.—A lady who had a steamboat full of luggage, made an excuse for it by saying,
" she was going to Rome, and wouldn't for the world be without the Thirty-nine Articles."