DOI Heft:
Punch's Almanack for 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17033#0006
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOR 1856.
A TABLE FOR CALCULATING THE INTEREST OF A PIECE IN FIVE ACTS.
Slamming of Doors, or) [ Favorable attention. The
A Cry of " Turn him ) gallery is evidently
out" at any noise, or V- means X listening on its elbows
unseemly interruption) I with all the power of
\ its shirt-sleeves.
„ , ,. , ci j I The greatest interest. A
General display of hand- triumphant success,
kerchiefs and prodi-[ J « Thii plece wiu be
gal blowing of noses » 1 repeatedF every night
amongst the ladies J ^ until further notice/'
*** Tlie interest of a piece runs on generally in propor-
tion to the piece itself. In most instances it goes on in-
creasing at the rate of compound interest up to fifty nights ;
but when the piece lias been running so long as that, then
the interest begins diminishing gradually, until at last it
a laugh in the wrong >- means But little or no interest,
place . . . . j
Coughing, sneezing . . „ Dangerous impatience.
Ditto, with scraping and) pata, £imui
stamping ot ieet . . ) '
Ditto, ditto, with whist-~\
ling, mixed up with I
playful allusions and |
familiar inquiries, ad- y „ Certain Condemnation,
dressed by the gentle-
men of the gallery to
the actors
Loud talking amongst) (Number of friends sent
the gentlemen ■ • j " 1 in with orders.
HINTS FOR THE NURSERY.
The treatment of a new-born child should be kind, but not
cordial—and especially not Godfkey's Cordial.
Children should be encouraged to rise with the lark—but
the lark should not consist of a bolstering match, or any
similar occupation.
moral fob june.
A rhyme the word suggests will suit,
No special moral's taught by June:
If you 're an ass, and blow a flute,
Why, do not blow it out of tune.
British Sculpture—It is understood that a distinguished
cultivator of plastic art will contribute to the sculptural
comes down to nothing. When the interest has been quite j department of the ensuing Exhibition at the Royal Academy
ixhausted, it is a most difficult rlrng t<> get the nill renewed, j the statue of an Arcadian Shepherd with a short pipe.
MR. PEEWIT HAS A LITTLE ADDITION TO HIS FAMILY— ABDICATES IN FAVOUR OF THE REAL MASTER OF
HE IS OBLIGED TO GET HIS MEALS ANYHOW—AND— THE HOUSE.
FACT FOR JUNE.—FRENCH HISTORY.
On the eighth, Philip lk Bel, King of France, second son
of Charlemagne, and nephew of St. Louis, was besieging
Tours, then held by a Hungarian garrison for Charles the
Fifth, Elector of Sicily. It was conjectured that Louvois,
with the celebrated engineer Vauban, was marching to the
relief of tne town, and the attack was therefore pressed.
Philip himself worked an arblast or culverin, from which he
discharged a mangonel into the counterscarp of the donjon.
" G'est beau!" exclaimed a parasite, as the missile struck.
" Say ' bo ' to a goose, not to a king," said Philip, knocking
the flatterer oown with a cul de sac
a rough translation by a gentleman who was j
always too late for the kew omnibus :—
" Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit."
" One can never hit the time of those confounded Busses ! " i
Natural History.—The notes of the Goldfinch must, to
every serious mind, be suggestive of the Bank of England's
paper.
STANZAS FOR THE SENTIMENTAL.
On my declining to polk vrilh Angelina at Mrs.
Flirtington's dance.
It may not be—at least not yet;
'Tis no slight cause that bids me own it;
Think not my promise I'd forget,
But for a while I must postpone it.
Think not I've ceased tn love the whirl
Of giddy waltz, or polka mazy :
Nor that thy hair is out of curl,
Nor that thy Edwin's getting lazy
Think not 'tis through some jealous qualms
That thus I'd have thee disappointed :
Nor that a prettier rival's charms
Thy nasal organ have disjointed.
Nay, teach not those sweet lips to pout,
Nor at my pleading make wry faces :
Can'st still thy faithful Edwin doubt? —
Know then the truth: I've broke my braces !
MARINE ZOOLOGY.
| The sea-horse is a well-known animal to mythologists, if
I not to natural historians; but no mention has hitherto been
I made of the sea-donkey. A metropolitan friend, however,
assures us, that there exists such a creature in that celebrated
whirlpool, the Maelstrom, which he says is a Neddy
What is a Baby?—Why, a Baby is a living I. O. U., a
" little Bill" drawn upon Manhood, that is only honoured
when it arrives at maturity.
" With," not " By."—A sporting and sportive writer lately
told us, that youthful partridges and pheasants are " brought
up by ants." What nepotal affection in the Aunts !
The Longest Day—The day before that of your wedding
will probably be the longest day of your life.
Anvthino but a Legal Fiat—The Fiat that Lawyers
have the least to do with is decidedly "Mat Justitia."
Virtue.—So rare a comm«dity with some people, that it
might be considered as an article of virtu.
The Modern Pretender to a Crown.—A fashionable
bonnet.
A TABLE FOR CALCULATING THE INTEREST OF A PIECE IN FIVE ACTS.
Slamming of Doors, or) [ Favorable attention. The
A Cry of " Turn him ) gallery is evidently
out" at any noise, or V- means X listening on its elbows
unseemly interruption) I with all the power of
\ its shirt-sleeves.
„ , ,. , ci j I The greatest interest. A
General display of hand- triumphant success,
kerchiefs and prodi-[ J « Thii plece wiu be
gal blowing of noses » 1 repeatedF every night
amongst the ladies J ^ until further notice/'
*** Tlie interest of a piece runs on generally in propor-
tion to the piece itself. In most instances it goes on in-
creasing at the rate of compound interest up to fifty nights ;
but when the piece lias been running so long as that, then
the interest begins diminishing gradually, until at last it
a laugh in the wrong >- means But little or no interest,
place . . . . j
Coughing, sneezing . . „ Dangerous impatience.
Ditto, with scraping and) pata, £imui
stamping ot ieet . . ) '
Ditto, ditto, with whist-~\
ling, mixed up with I
playful allusions and |
familiar inquiries, ad- y „ Certain Condemnation,
dressed by the gentle-
men of the gallery to
the actors
Loud talking amongst) (Number of friends sent
the gentlemen ■ • j " 1 in with orders.
HINTS FOR THE NURSERY.
The treatment of a new-born child should be kind, but not
cordial—and especially not Godfkey's Cordial.
Children should be encouraged to rise with the lark—but
the lark should not consist of a bolstering match, or any
similar occupation.
moral fob june.
A rhyme the word suggests will suit,
No special moral's taught by June:
If you 're an ass, and blow a flute,
Why, do not blow it out of tune.
British Sculpture—It is understood that a distinguished
cultivator of plastic art will contribute to the sculptural
comes down to nothing. When the interest has been quite j department of the ensuing Exhibition at the Royal Academy
ixhausted, it is a most difficult rlrng t<> get the nill renewed, j the statue of an Arcadian Shepherd with a short pipe.
MR. PEEWIT HAS A LITTLE ADDITION TO HIS FAMILY— ABDICATES IN FAVOUR OF THE REAL MASTER OF
HE IS OBLIGED TO GET HIS MEALS ANYHOW—AND— THE HOUSE.
FACT FOR JUNE.—FRENCH HISTORY.
On the eighth, Philip lk Bel, King of France, second son
of Charlemagne, and nephew of St. Louis, was besieging
Tours, then held by a Hungarian garrison for Charles the
Fifth, Elector of Sicily. It was conjectured that Louvois,
with the celebrated engineer Vauban, was marching to the
relief of tne town, and the attack was therefore pressed.
Philip himself worked an arblast or culverin, from which he
discharged a mangonel into the counterscarp of the donjon.
" G'est beau!" exclaimed a parasite, as the missile struck.
" Say ' bo ' to a goose, not to a king," said Philip, knocking
the flatterer oown with a cul de sac
a rough translation by a gentleman who was j
always too late for the kew omnibus :—
" Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit."
" One can never hit the time of those confounded Busses ! " i
Natural History.—The notes of the Goldfinch must, to
every serious mind, be suggestive of the Bank of England's
paper.
STANZAS FOR THE SENTIMENTAL.
On my declining to polk vrilh Angelina at Mrs.
Flirtington's dance.
It may not be—at least not yet;
'Tis no slight cause that bids me own it;
Think not my promise I'd forget,
But for a while I must postpone it.
Think not I've ceased tn love the whirl
Of giddy waltz, or polka mazy :
Nor that thy hair is out of curl,
Nor that thy Edwin's getting lazy
Think not 'tis through some jealous qualms
That thus I'd have thee disappointed :
Nor that a prettier rival's charms
Thy nasal organ have disjointed.
Nay, teach not those sweet lips to pout,
Nor at my pleading make wry faces :
Can'st still thy faithful Edwin doubt? —
Know then the truth: I've broke my braces !
MARINE ZOOLOGY.
| The sea-horse is a well-known animal to mythologists, if
I not to natural historians; but no mention has hitherto been
I made of the sea-donkey. A metropolitan friend, however,
assures us, that there exists such a creature in that celebrated
whirlpool, the Maelstrom, which he says is a Neddy
What is a Baby?—Why, a Baby is a living I. O. U., a
" little Bill" drawn upon Manhood, that is only honoured
when it arrives at maturity.
" With," not " By."—A sporting and sportive writer lately
told us, that youthful partridges and pheasants are " brought
up by ants." What nepotal affection in the Aunts !
The Longest Day—The day before that of your wedding
will probably be the longest day of your life.
Anvthino but a Legal Fiat—The Fiat that Lawyers
have the least to do with is decidedly "Mat Justitia."
Virtue.—So rare a comm«dity with some people, that it
might be considered as an article of virtu.
The Modern Pretender to a Crown.—A fashionable
bonnet.