DOI Seite / Zitierlink:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17045#0005
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOK 1858.
^ THE pLBASAN'T LETTER-WRITER.
L^, a pious Attorney to his Worldly Clerk.
j Tuesday, 25 ilfey.
3m dear WILLIAM,
I am truly sorry to hear that you
tre obliged to ask my leave to absent your-
lt. Liffrom your desk to-morrow, Wednes-
K, day, that'as y°u put '*' 7°" mily he up0Q
C tbe BOia,and nurse the leg you sprained
*, «o severely. Do so, my dear young friend,
ill, w all means. I should be a hard man,
i indeed, did I wish you to come out under
if such circumstances. Nay, I so appreciate
jk the reluctance with which you ask this
indulgence, and I am so averse to making
Kg: you feel any obligation, that I will come
u to you with the Abstract of Title to the
I,, Smgglks estate, and spend the day in
„'; going through it with you as you lie on
it;,' your sofa. We can afford the time, as it
i| seems there is a great race at Epsom, and
J our conveyancing counsel is going, so be
i£ could not see us to-morrow. I believe it
|t(; is called the Derby. You and I will be
well out of such snares and follies. I
will be with you by 12.
Yours sincerely,
•Zachary DsrE.
ff>I. O'GORMAN O'GRADY, ESQ.
5 HINTS TO FOLKS WHO RECEIVE
NOTES.
A Note of one page is usually an honest
affair.
Br tA?0'6 of two pa£es is seldom frank.
" " It either says too much or not enough
,r> Lookout. °
!'rAnw°f thre! pa^es is generally
bum it honest- Usually,
*\ll]0ie ?f f?ur pa2es is designed to
humbug Don't answer, but lock it up
^.against the day when your supposed
friend becomes your enemy u^osea
The Police.—An intelligent officer is
always remarkable for his quickness of
its .The Bevekse of a Night-Cap.-
[,g wide-awake.
MUCH ABOVE THAT SORT OF THING.
WHY ENGLISHMEN ARB BELOVED
UPON THE CONTINENT.
Because they always are so careful to
abstain from either word or action, which,
in any way, might hurt the feelings of a
foreigner.
Because they never institute odious
comparisons between things in general
abroad and those they've left at home,
unless indeed it is to the disparagement
of the latter.
Because they never brag about the
" freedom of a British subject," in coun-
tries which are under a despotic form of
government.
Because they speak so fluently in any
continental language, and always are
so affable when publicly accosted by a
stranger, and so ready at all times to
enter into conversation with those they
may be travelling with.
Because they don't bawl for beer at
a first-class table d'hote, nor make wry
faces at the wine as though it disagreed
with them.
Because they never in the least let
trifles put them out, and however much
they are annoyed, they do their utmost
to conceal it, instead of (as has been ma-
liciously asserted) seizing with delight
on every opportunity to give their tem-
per vent, and express themselves dissa-
tisfied with everything that's done for
them.
Because whatever provocation they
may think they have received, they are
so careful not to let strong language pass
their lips ; aud, so far from making ex-
tracts from the Commination Service, are
never heard to use an exclamation more
forcible than " Dear me!" er " Now really,
how provoking!"
A Death Blow to Mormonism.—Pre-
sident Buchanan had better not throw
away powder and shot upon the Mormons.
Let him send them Fashion Books. The
necessity of Crinoline will destroy poly-
gamy. It will render Brigham Young
himself unable to support more wives
than one.
Stopping the Teeth.—If the patient
won't pay, the Dentist generally stops the
teeth by refusing to part with them.
^**Ttp Tom
* Disagreeable Boy from School). — Tom. "Look here, Clara, There's a Young Woman oown-staies has brought this for you, and wants to know
if it will do."
^ THE pLBASAN'T LETTER-WRITER.
L^, a pious Attorney to his Worldly Clerk.
j Tuesday, 25 ilfey.
3m dear WILLIAM,
I am truly sorry to hear that you
tre obliged to ask my leave to absent your-
lt. Liffrom your desk to-morrow, Wednes-
K, day, that'as y°u put '*' 7°" mily he up0Q
C tbe BOia,and nurse the leg you sprained
*, «o severely. Do so, my dear young friend,
ill, w all means. I should be a hard man,
i indeed, did I wish you to come out under
if such circumstances. Nay, I so appreciate
jk the reluctance with which you ask this
indulgence, and I am so averse to making
Kg: you feel any obligation, that I will come
u to you with the Abstract of Title to the
I,, Smgglks estate, and spend the day in
„'; going through it with you as you lie on
it;,' your sofa. We can afford the time, as it
i| seems there is a great race at Epsom, and
J our conveyancing counsel is going, so be
i£ could not see us to-morrow. I believe it
|t(; is called the Derby. You and I will be
well out of such snares and follies. I
will be with you by 12.
Yours sincerely,
•Zachary DsrE.
ff>I. O'GORMAN O'GRADY, ESQ.
5 HINTS TO FOLKS WHO RECEIVE
NOTES.
A Note of one page is usually an honest
affair.
Br tA?0'6 of two pa£es is seldom frank.
" " It either says too much or not enough
,r> Lookout. °
!'rAnw°f thre! pa^es is generally
bum it honest- Usually,
*\ll]0ie ?f f?ur pa2es is designed to
humbug Don't answer, but lock it up
^.against the day when your supposed
friend becomes your enemy u^osea
The Police.—An intelligent officer is
always remarkable for his quickness of
its .The Bevekse of a Night-Cap.-
[,g wide-awake.
MUCH ABOVE THAT SORT OF THING.
WHY ENGLISHMEN ARB BELOVED
UPON THE CONTINENT.
Because they always are so careful to
abstain from either word or action, which,
in any way, might hurt the feelings of a
foreigner.
Because they never institute odious
comparisons between things in general
abroad and those they've left at home,
unless indeed it is to the disparagement
of the latter.
Because they never brag about the
" freedom of a British subject," in coun-
tries which are under a despotic form of
government.
Because they speak so fluently in any
continental language, and always are
so affable when publicly accosted by a
stranger, and so ready at all times to
enter into conversation with those they
may be travelling with.
Because they don't bawl for beer at
a first-class table d'hote, nor make wry
faces at the wine as though it disagreed
with them.
Because they never in the least let
trifles put them out, and however much
they are annoyed, they do their utmost
to conceal it, instead of (as has been ma-
liciously asserted) seizing with delight
on every opportunity to give their tem-
per vent, and express themselves dissa-
tisfied with everything that's done for
them.
Because whatever provocation they
may think they have received, they are
so careful not to let strong language pass
their lips ; aud, so far from making ex-
tracts from the Commination Service, are
never heard to use an exclamation more
forcible than " Dear me!" er " Now really,
how provoking!"
A Death Blow to Mormonism.—Pre-
sident Buchanan had better not throw
away powder and shot upon the Mormons.
Let him send them Fashion Books. The
necessity of Crinoline will destroy poly-
gamy. It will render Brigham Young
himself unable to support more wives
than one.
Stopping the Teeth.—If the patient
won't pay, the Dentist generally stops the
teeth by refusing to part with them.
^**Ttp Tom
* Disagreeable Boy from School). — Tom. "Look here, Clara, There's a Young Woman oown-staies has brought this for you, and wants to know
if it will do."