DOI Heft:
Punch’s Almanack for 1870
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17013#0004
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOE 1870.
NEW CHAMBER OF HORRORS AT MADAME TUSSAUD'S. (The Right Man in the Right Place).—" Don't be Afraid, you Little Goose !
Recollect when People like that were Allowed to go Loose about the Streets ! "
Always the Season.—There is one out-door amusement
in our variable climate which may be pursued all the year
round, wet or dry—House-hunting.
If a man says to you, " By the way, how do you Spell
your name? " he usually means, '.' What the juice is it ? " to have the gout in both feet
Metkorological.—How to find the Direction of the Wind.
Ask the Postman.
The wretch wbo can stand in a pair of slippers worked
for him by his wife, and scold her, is a brute who deserves
Employment of Women.—A Young Lady is articled
Solicitor, and set to Engross a Deed. She fills both si* IU,n
the parchment with writing, and then crosses it.
Why is Salmon like a Sermon ?—Because you areilj
glad when it's quite done, and you may cut a "ay.
(liters!
if
WEATHER PROPHECIES FOR
1870.
January will be fine and bright,
in fact quite a second summer,
unless there should be a succes-
sion of storms of either wind,
rain, or snow, or all three ac-
companied by intense cold. But
this will make no positive altera-
tion in the month itself.
February will be lovely. If it
is not, write to our Office ; any
complaint shall meet with instant
attention.
March, April, May.—Prognos-
tications for these three months
give us most favourable expec-
tations. Our readers will carefully
notice for themselves in a pocket-
book (say the most convenient
form, Punch's Pocket-Book) the
changes of temperature, and we
shall have great pleasure in com-
paring the notes so made with
our own above-mentioned pro-
gnostications.
The same plan to be pursued
with the other months.
Scholastic. — We know a
naughty little boy who, having
heard it said that '' history
repeats itself," pleaded this as
an excuse for his declining to
attempt the repetition of a page
or two of Pinnock.
Caution for Collegians.—
Oxford and Cambridge culti-
vate athletic sports. May the
flower of the Universities not
get plucked !
The wretch who refuses to take
his wife to the theatre, deserves
to be made to sit out a play.
While winding up your watch
at night, think of the good acts
you have done that day You
will not overwind.
"AULD EDINBRO'!"
Saxon Traveller. " This is too Bad, Waiter ! i told you we wanted to Go by the 9'30 Train, and
here's Breakfast not Ready !"
Celtic Waiter. "A weel, Sir, Fac' is, the Cook Tak's a Gless ! "
THE ANTIPATHIES OP
GREAT.
3 iv- .
meeting a waggon ofta)'
dan turned pale at tie
a corkscrew.
II'
A lilt
Jeremy Bentham
fainted at the sight of ij *jf»t
nary Surgeon in evenilj
tume. Cobbeti could not
the room with a French| jWm
nor Lady Jane Grey™'
tributor of Stamps. Arc
Tillotson asked ever}'
to whom he was in™
whether he had any««"
the Excise ; if the aitf«
in the affirmative the n
gazed at his chaplain, >■»
stantly went out fish*
cause of this singular aj
has never been satisfa*
plained. KirkeWhik/0*
a mile out of his rf»
J*tai
>» fill ft
Pfc
£>'!
makes mention cOg \
d.elights. undei tjie
" Cupid's Garden. uf j
Garden, choose ffl*? J
and beware of vodovs
be offended at a
nobody can prove t
have it.
BAiLWAYsareAn**,
teach every !
own Station, and to
improved fkom«beioe j
_« Better hal a c t|,»r.
than a by-Cycle >«l
VIM
that the Rivei
gravy.
NEW CHAMBER OF HORRORS AT MADAME TUSSAUD'S. (The Right Man in the Right Place).—" Don't be Afraid, you Little Goose !
Recollect when People like that were Allowed to go Loose about the Streets ! "
Always the Season.—There is one out-door amusement
in our variable climate which may be pursued all the year
round, wet or dry—House-hunting.
If a man says to you, " By the way, how do you Spell
your name? " he usually means, '.' What the juice is it ? " to have the gout in both feet
Metkorological.—How to find the Direction of the Wind.
Ask the Postman.
The wretch wbo can stand in a pair of slippers worked
for him by his wife, and scold her, is a brute who deserves
Employment of Women.—A Young Lady is articled
Solicitor, and set to Engross a Deed. She fills both si* IU,n
the parchment with writing, and then crosses it.
Why is Salmon like a Sermon ?—Because you areilj
glad when it's quite done, and you may cut a "ay.
(liters!
if
WEATHER PROPHECIES FOR
1870.
January will be fine and bright,
in fact quite a second summer,
unless there should be a succes-
sion of storms of either wind,
rain, or snow, or all three ac-
companied by intense cold. But
this will make no positive altera-
tion in the month itself.
February will be lovely. If it
is not, write to our Office ; any
complaint shall meet with instant
attention.
March, April, May.—Prognos-
tications for these three months
give us most favourable expec-
tations. Our readers will carefully
notice for themselves in a pocket-
book (say the most convenient
form, Punch's Pocket-Book) the
changes of temperature, and we
shall have great pleasure in com-
paring the notes so made with
our own above-mentioned pro-
gnostications.
The same plan to be pursued
with the other months.
Scholastic. — We know a
naughty little boy who, having
heard it said that '' history
repeats itself," pleaded this as
an excuse for his declining to
attempt the repetition of a page
or two of Pinnock.
Caution for Collegians.—
Oxford and Cambridge culti-
vate athletic sports. May the
flower of the Universities not
get plucked !
The wretch who refuses to take
his wife to the theatre, deserves
to be made to sit out a play.
While winding up your watch
at night, think of the good acts
you have done that day You
will not overwind.
"AULD EDINBRO'!"
Saxon Traveller. " This is too Bad, Waiter ! i told you we wanted to Go by the 9'30 Train, and
here's Breakfast not Ready !"
Celtic Waiter. "A weel, Sir, Fac' is, the Cook Tak's a Gless ! "
THE ANTIPATHIES OP
GREAT.
3 iv- .
meeting a waggon ofta)'
dan turned pale at tie
a corkscrew.
II'
A lilt
Jeremy Bentham
fainted at the sight of ij *jf»t
nary Surgeon in evenilj
tume. Cobbeti could not
the room with a French| jWm
nor Lady Jane Grey™'
tributor of Stamps. Arc
Tillotson asked ever}'
to whom he was in™
whether he had any««"
the Excise ; if the aitf«
in the affirmative the n
gazed at his chaplain, >■»
stantly went out fish*
cause of this singular aj
has never been satisfa*
plained. KirkeWhik/0*
a mile out of his rf»
J*tai
>» fill ft
Pfc
£>'!
makes mention cOg \
d.elights. undei tjie
" Cupid's Garden. uf j
Garden, choose ffl*? J
and beware of vodovs
be offended at a
nobody can prove t
have it.
BAiLWAYsareAn**,
teach every !
own Station, and to
improved fkom«beioe j
_« Better hal a c t|,»r.
than a by-Cycle >«l
VIM
that the Rivei
gravy.