DOI issue:
Punch’s Almanack for 1870
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17013#0005
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOE 1870
as
THE VENUS OF MILO ; OH, GIRLS OF TWO DIFFERENT PERIODS.
(km. " Look at her Big Foot ! Oh, What a Waist !—and what a Ridiculous Little Head !—and no Chignon ! She's no Lady ! Oh, what a Fright !:
Sportiw Intelligence.—Poor Smith was complaining of
«tad«porttie had had, owing, as he said, to the wildness
is pointers. "Pointers!" exclaimed a friend, "then, if
re jou, I should call them disap-pointers ! "
CosiHiDiniON.— Can a tall man have a short memory ?
Snashortmau can have along sleep.
A Philosopher to his Friends.—To have brandy-and-
water, yon mix two things together. Very good. But
never do that in argument.
Popular Error.—The idea that the Ostrich eats iron
may have arisen from the fact, that a bird of that kind was
once seen to devour a piece of castaway bacon, which, being
The Gamester." — What an absorbing passion is | rusty, was described by a waggish naturalist ae pig-iroii.
gambling ! A man told us the other day that he had been [ An Idol of the Market.—A butcher, asked what oxy
tossing in his bed all night. ' gen is, replied " Beef."
"positivism."
is positive she left her
the drawing-room table
minutes ago. (They are
cbl.)
r is positive there was at
' If a bottle of sherry in
-iter at luncheon. (Two
fmthtla half.)
an* is positive Ernest
_dn? to that odious Kate
:Pbch*m, at Mks. Thur-
<* party, for full three-
lofanhour. (Tenminutes.)
10r is positive she has
Tgle dress fit to wear at
WTwkerville's lawn
lFwr,at hast.)
hjzabeth (nursery-maid)
"eshedid not stop talking
w»sm", more than ten
■Wien she was out with
«thcr in the Park
urtmo/oiWiour.)
§ THE PAINT-BOX.
T*Wable discovery has
femcolours. Like plants
ZmI are found to
K„ ?°r(,Mt^,rityfor this
**S?nent-"Bluo is
■JfflU most retiring of
""•'fa complementary,
™"a»nestand most
u orange! '
k'»Jurvnfi1"0,1Iwanttoen-
l^.et0 do « to prosecute
'y»«areWoti° told,
t^^ulrl^'g^that
••wrnt^111 and good for
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
Poeticus.—No English Abbott
has ever been mentioned as an
author of poems; there was a
Prior. Same idea, perhaps.
Derivatur.—The word prognos-
tic was originally applied to the
leader of the Sect of the Gnostics,
who used to take his followers
out with him for a pic-nic, him-
self providing the luncheon and
carrying the prog-basket. Writ-
ten in full the word was, of
course, Prog- Gnostic.
Bicycle.—Electric Bicycles will
appearin 1870. We predict this—
■- don't forget.
Goodwood.—Yes, you are right.
That is the Horse which will
win the Derby of 1870.
SCIENTIFIC GOSSIP.
The Botanical Gardens in the
Regent's Park have recently re-
ceived most valuable additions
in a pair of boot-trees and a fine
rum-shrub. The grand climac-
teric is now in full perfection,
and the overland Root spreads
rapidly. The railway "plant"
continues, to be a great attrac-
tion. Branches of the aristocracy
are frequently found in the Gar-
dens in the summer months,
with many sprigs and youthful
scions of nobility.
Pro Bono.—There is one first-
rate joint that comes to table
which is the cockney's prime
aversion—the H.'bone.
We have read " Bray a fool in
■^■n^vM-r.^.^ „-r, ! a mortar." Is this what is meant
PROGRESS OF SCIENCE, 1869. { by " Pound foolish ?"
Hairdresser. "Shall 1—Blow down jour Neck by Machinery, Sir?!" \ Give every man his due, and his
[Startled customer submits, and prefers it to the ,usual mode of ventilation. Mountain Dew if he claims it.
as
THE VENUS OF MILO ; OH, GIRLS OF TWO DIFFERENT PERIODS.
(km. " Look at her Big Foot ! Oh, What a Waist !—and what a Ridiculous Little Head !—and no Chignon ! She's no Lady ! Oh, what a Fright !:
Sportiw Intelligence.—Poor Smith was complaining of
«tad«porttie had had, owing, as he said, to the wildness
is pointers. "Pointers!" exclaimed a friend, "then, if
re jou, I should call them disap-pointers ! "
CosiHiDiniON.— Can a tall man have a short memory ?
Snashortmau can have along sleep.
A Philosopher to his Friends.—To have brandy-and-
water, yon mix two things together. Very good. But
never do that in argument.
Popular Error.—The idea that the Ostrich eats iron
may have arisen from the fact, that a bird of that kind was
once seen to devour a piece of castaway bacon, which, being
The Gamester." — What an absorbing passion is | rusty, was described by a waggish naturalist ae pig-iroii.
gambling ! A man told us the other day that he had been [ An Idol of the Market.—A butcher, asked what oxy
tossing in his bed all night. ' gen is, replied " Beef."
"positivism."
is positive she left her
the drawing-room table
minutes ago. (They are
cbl.)
r is positive there was at
' If a bottle of sherry in
-iter at luncheon. (Two
fmthtla half.)
an* is positive Ernest
_dn? to that odious Kate
:Pbch*m, at Mks. Thur-
<* party, for full three-
lofanhour. (Tenminutes.)
10r is positive she has
Tgle dress fit to wear at
WTwkerville's lawn
lFwr,at hast.)
hjzabeth (nursery-maid)
"eshedid not stop talking
w»sm", more than ten
■Wien she was out with
«thcr in the Park
urtmo/oiWiour.)
§ THE PAINT-BOX.
T*Wable discovery has
femcolours. Like plants
ZmI are found to
K„ ?°r(,Mt^,rityfor this
**S?nent-"Bluo is
■JfflU most retiring of
""•'fa complementary,
™"a»nestand most
u orange! '
k'»Jurvnfi1"0,1Iwanttoen-
l^.et0 do « to prosecute
'y»«areWoti° told,
t^^ulrl^'g^that
••wrnt^111 and good for
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
Poeticus.—No English Abbott
has ever been mentioned as an
author of poems; there was a
Prior. Same idea, perhaps.
Derivatur.—The word prognos-
tic was originally applied to the
leader of the Sect of the Gnostics,
who used to take his followers
out with him for a pic-nic, him-
self providing the luncheon and
carrying the prog-basket. Writ-
ten in full the word was, of
course, Prog- Gnostic.
Bicycle.—Electric Bicycles will
appearin 1870. We predict this—
■- don't forget.
Goodwood.—Yes, you are right.
That is the Horse which will
win the Derby of 1870.
SCIENTIFIC GOSSIP.
The Botanical Gardens in the
Regent's Park have recently re-
ceived most valuable additions
in a pair of boot-trees and a fine
rum-shrub. The grand climac-
teric is now in full perfection,
and the overland Root spreads
rapidly. The railway "plant"
continues, to be a great attrac-
tion. Branches of the aristocracy
are frequently found in the Gar-
dens in the summer months,
with many sprigs and youthful
scions of nobility.
Pro Bono.—There is one first-
rate joint that comes to table
which is the cockney's prime
aversion—the H.'bone.
We have read " Bray a fool in
■^■n^vM-r.^.^ „-r, ! a mortar." Is this what is meant
PROGRESS OF SCIENCE, 1869. { by " Pound foolish ?"
Hairdresser. "Shall 1—Blow down jour Neck by Machinery, Sir?!" \ Give every man his due, and his
[Startled customer submits, and prefers it to the ,usual mode of ventilation. Mountain Dew if he claims it.