Punch / Almanack (1870)

PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOE 1870.

OUR HOLIDAYS.

tatitftiiiffto-. (Didn't they hare fun in Switzerland this year!) " Oh ! Fi.ory, Emily, 'Ma ! Hebe's one of those dear Artists Sketching on the 'Place.' Let's go and Look

over him, and See what he 's doing ! "-

ild you )s.:______

-ertaeM?! ™ PLIGHTED ONE.

Tor ask me if I love you,
OUSEHOIK" M1 canuot answer, "Yes ! "

, Tho'there's none I hold above you,
•* ' and my heart's in sore distress.

.Thereare words one cannot utter,

And a " yes " is one of those ?
jj Yet it is not that I stutter,

Or speak slightly through the nose.

i! H; :-vIcan vow that I adore you,
tli the fines: drtt With my truest, fondest breath;
Hi J!r,. : But thejfcp you've heard before, vou
—Send Hit- Will allow, can say but " Yeth !"

iiidsiiirtl

ay,;

ill I- n

teHi**W home with a black eye.
:lM'i< K • Wlfe's inquiries he replied, that,
wtatolbt^B liskecl l»«>self a question, he re-
, r /■ '• ;-}:"ed suchasaxicy answer that he had

,W^5W '° rCSCnt i;' Uis wife did
£,!fS-'tk* eVe hm' and 80t a new dress that

Stftf«K NE"?-The ingenuity of our
ilbeW"'*!; "^'cultural implement makers is
Smary' 0ne of them lately
" „,tnS, ■ a ,11,,ebine for sowillg wild 0;'ts,
CAROL is expected to have an immense

fa?*}?*'"- paintino on Vellum. -
°dyo»tiTS: 50* r0Uged'

^%itoT'Jm m,,re bratas than a

J«Ahte^ bCal'd- Th° f°01

^T^l-f^^noidof

Morn-

4) ^CrJRr*8 a nile crime is to be

^tp^.dropshisH's'

'Jfc or Incidence. - When

. /at,- a8"mg, and tumble into the

^ma ft-Ppr0trn tbat he alwa>'s

ail1 p l™*«rr.

„»5fc. 0P Hope. — 4 Subl

AN IDYLL.

In the month of January.

First I met my darling Mary.

In the month of Febru-erry,

Then I met her down in Deny.

Onee again in month of March,

Met her at tLe Marble Arch.

Met her in the month of April,

Gone to Bangor to escape Rhyl.

Met her onee again in May,

Sitting calmly at the p!ay.

Met her yet once more in June,

"Where the Park-band plays a tune.

Then I met her in July,

Richmond Hill, and no one by.

Met her yet onee more in August,

When it blew a nasty raw gust.

Did I meet her in September?

Did I ?—well, I don't remember.

Then I met her in October,

Spoke to her in sadness sober,

" No " comes natural in A'ovember,

Quenched was Cupid's flick'ring ember.

Never met again. December

Of a Club I'm now a member.

But it was only Little Tympney Making up his Accounts, and Calculating if he'd
enough Money to T*ke him Back to Bedford Row !

Sp°*>- 58.

Notice to the Trustees.—In the De-
partment of Natural History at the
British Museum there is a serious defici-
ency. There are nests of all sorts and
sizes, birds' nests, wasps' nests, Are.; but
not a single specimen of a mare's nest.
This is a great disappointment to country
visitors.

To Parents and Guardians.—If you
teach children Natural History in the
Zoological Gardens, teach it to them cor-
rectly. For example : you should im-
press on their youthful minds that the
bears climbing up for buns in the pit
are Polar Bears.

An Early Luxury.—The Celts were
much farther advanced in civilisation
than is commonly supposed. They in-
vented Celtzer water.

How to Know Them. —As a rule
Bankers' Clerks may be distinguished by
their wearing trousers with cl ecks.

" The New Bath Guide.":—A Pam-
phlet on the Turkish system.

A Ticklish Position.—Standing upon
Trifles.