DOI issue:
Punch's Almanack for 1884
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17765#0012
December 4,1583.]
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1884.
SEASON.
Dealer. “AVhat! that tittle ’Oss not .Jump;! Why, I pot him in a empty Seven-Stall Staele this hornin’, and when I went to fetch ’im out, there
’e was a ’oppin’ up and down over the Pertitions just to amuse hisself like.”
THE TINKLING TRAM.
{By a Victim.)
Tinkle, tinkle, Tramway
Car !
Well I ‘m conscious where
you are.
| Down below my study high,
Like a demon ever nigh.
When the morning opens
wet,
When in fog the sun hath
set,
Then you sound to left, to
right,
Tinkle, tinkle, day and
night!
When to sleep my eyes in-
cline,
Then your bell kicks up its
shine ;
Up the street and down the
street,
’Mid the horse-hoofs’ mad-
dening beat.
No—detested demon car.
I den’t “ wonder what you
are ” ;
But too well aware am I,
Tinkling horror, ever nigh !
A Mere Mockery. —
Talk of Progress — with
Oysters at half-a-crown a
dozen !
A “ Mob Cap.” — The
Cap of Liberty.
A Wife’s Vocation.—
Husbandry.
DIAGNOSIS.
'“Is the Rector better to-day, Jarvis?”—“No, Sir; not any better, Sir!”
“Has he got a Locum Tenets?"—“ No, Sir. Same old Pain in the Back !”
“ TAKE YOUR HOOK ! ”
{The Straight Tip to Lovers
of Peace.)
Whilst the Parties rage,
Whilst the papers wrangle,
Cut the House, don't cut the
page ;
“ Take your hook ”—and
angle !
Whilst the Critics drub,
Whilstthe Artists wrangle,
Shun the Studio, cut the
Club ;
“Take your hook ”—and
angle !
Shun the Sportsman’s greed,
Shun the Histrion’s
spangle;
With your bird’s-eye, or a
weed,
“ Take your hook ”—and
angle!
Trust me, would you shun
Worry’s teasing tangle,
There is one escape—but
one :
“ Take your hook ”—and
angle !
HAPPY HIBERNATION.
Do I wish to be a bird ?
No ; I am not so absurd.
Had, when frosts of winter
come. Rather be a tortoise,
numb.
“ Suited to a Hare.”
—A Currant - Jelly - Fish.
Hope to see one in next
Fisheries’ Show.
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1884.
SEASON.
Dealer. “AVhat! that tittle ’Oss not .Jump;! Why, I pot him in a empty Seven-Stall Staele this hornin’, and when I went to fetch ’im out, there
’e was a ’oppin’ up and down over the Pertitions just to amuse hisself like.”
THE TINKLING TRAM.
{By a Victim.)
Tinkle, tinkle, Tramway
Car !
Well I ‘m conscious where
you are.
| Down below my study high,
Like a demon ever nigh.
When the morning opens
wet,
When in fog the sun hath
set,
Then you sound to left, to
right,
Tinkle, tinkle, day and
night!
When to sleep my eyes in-
cline,
Then your bell kicks up its
shine ;
Up the street and down the
street,
’Mid the horse-hoofs’ mad-
dening beat.
No—detested demon car.
I den’t “ wonder what you
are ” ;
But too well aware am I,
Tinkling horror, ever nigh !
A Mere Mockery. —
Talk of Progress — with
Oysters at half-a-crown a
dozen !
A “ Mob Cap.” — The
Cap of Liberty.
A Wife’s Vocation.—
Husbandry.
DIAGNOSIS.
'“Is the Rector better to-day, Jarvis?”—“No, Sir; not any better, Sir!”
“Has he got a Locum Tenets?"—“ No, Sir. Same old Pain in the Back !”
“ TAKE YOUR HOOK ! ”
{The Straight Tip to Lovers
of Peace.)
Whilst the Parties rage,
Whilst the papers wrangle,
Cut the House, don't cut the
page ;
“ Take your hook ”—and
angle !
Whilst the Critics drub,
Whilstthe Artists wrangle,
Shun the Studio, cut the
Club ;
“Take your hook ”—and
angle !
Shun the Sportsman’s greed,
Shun the Histrion’s
spangle;
With your bird’s-eye, or a
weed,
“ Take your hook ”—and
angle!
Trust me, would you shun
Worry’s teasing tangle,
There is one escape—but
one :
“ Take your hook ”—and
angle !
HAPPY HIBERNATION.
Do I wish to be a bird ?
No ; I am not so absurd.
Had, when frosts of winter
come. Rather be a tortoise,
numb.
“ Suited to a Hare.”
—A Currant - Jelly - Fish.
Hope to see one in next
Fisheries’ Show.