Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari (5.1843)

PUNCH, OR THE LON

THE PERENNIAL JENKINS!

We have received a letter, which, with the characteristic justice
ef Punch. is herewith presented to the reader. It is a letter from

Jenkins; but not from the Jenkins; not from the Man of the
People, i. e., Jenkins of the Postbut from Jenkins's namesake,
who thus complains :—

" Cavendish Squake, July 13.
■' Mr. Punch,—My name is, unhappily, Jenkins; 1 am a footman, and not
ashamed to own it. But, sir, here is my grief. Go where I will, I am twitted with

DON CHARIVARI. 43

tlie authorship of certain articles, operatic -and literary, in the Morning
Post. The life I lead on opera-nights among my brethren of the slioiilder-
knot is insupportable. Unless you do me justice, I shall be compelled to
throw up a very excellent situation, change tnv name, and quit the country.
Will you then, sir, oblige me by informing the world, that whoever the
Jenkins may be who writes in the Post, it is not

" Your obedient Servant,

"Nathaniel Jenkins.

" P.S.—Allow me to add, Mr. Punch, that I am rather surprised a
man of vour liberality should sneer at the condition of a footman. Ia my i
namesake in the Post the worse for a livery ?—I think not."

Nathaniei. Jenkins is a very decent, sensible fellow, and
had his unfortunate namesake written as good English as our
correspondent, why, the critic Jenkins—poor cockchafer !—
would never have been impaled upon the iron pen of Punch.
But Nathaniel must not misunderstand us. We do not sneer
at the livery that encases the corporal part of Jenkins. Not
that his body, but that his soul is in livery, are we compelled
to flog him with nettle-tops. Yes : his soul ! Look, reader :
peep in at the brain of .Je-nkins (you must use a glass, by the
way, of great magnifying power); There, perched on pia mater,
is what certain anatomists call the soul. With different men
it takes different shapes. In the brain of Jenkins it is shaped
like a Lilliput monkey, and there it sits, like the larger monkeys
on the barrel-organs of those pedestrian virtuosi (as Jenkins
himself would say) who grind you off hap'orths of Mozaut or
Donizetti. There is the monkey-soul of Jenkins ! And see
you not his nether monkey, glowing in red plush '. That is
Jenkins' soul in full livery ; and for that soul, so habited, we
must (it is a public duty) continue to flog Jenkins.

Within these few days, Jenkins has had the audacity to give
his opinion on the proper position and requisite beverage of a
gentleman. He says :—•

" We believe that a man of genius may be seen arm-in-arm with a gentleman,
without any derogation from his intellectual elevation, and that it is somewhat
more respectable for him to take his glass of skerry at his club in respectable
society, than to frequent taverns in very questionable company."

This is all very well, Jenkins, about the glass of sherry.
It is pretty upon paper ; but it is not the belief of Jenkins-
No, no : lie tastes not sherry : he writes not " too well," as lie
always does, upon sherry; but owes his nerve to plebeian half-
and-half. All his beautiful flowers of speech are raised in good,
honest pewter. Do they not smack of Barclay—have they not
the aroma of Perkins ?

Jenkins now comes to female society; and, considering the
hours he has, in his time, waited at Howell & .James's, he must
be allowed to know something of the matter, lie says :—

"Nor do we believe that refined female society will injure his intellect, any mora
than e imagine that a first-rate coat will crook his spine."

Jenkins has a painful recollection of a certain coat. He
remembers, in his early footman life, when he was compelled
to wear the cast livery of a stout predecessor ; lie still shudders
when he ponders on the awful wrinkles down the back ; on the
sack-like fit of the blue plush, big enough for the Flying
Dutchmau. But this was before Jenkins lived with the
baronet. Then he was no longer drab and blue, but gray and
scarlet.

Legal Intelligence.

The recent elevation of Mr. Briefless has been the subject of much
speculation among his friends. The elevation to which we allude is the
removal of the learned gentleman from the three-pair-back to the front
attic.

The profession will learn with surprise that the great promissory note
case, which was expected to have been tried on the Home Circuit, has
been settled. Mr. Longgabble had been calculating on the brief, and his
friends were preparing themselves for a forensic display of no. mean
order. The inquiries at Mr. Longgabble's chambers have since been
very numerous.

There is some talk of a Barristers' Art-union. The prizes are to con-
sist of five hundred share pleas, at half-a-guinea each, two hundred guinea
briefs, and one hundred three guinea ditto. The causes are to be merely
nominal ; but when the number of subscribers is made up, the drawing
is to take place, and every member who draws a brief will be entitled to
the fee marked upon it.

Mr. Serjeant Spooney is preparing a work on the Law of Gravitation,
with a list of all the cases, from that of Golden Pippin versus Isaac
Newton down to the present time.

A Card.

The person who advertises the horse-hair gloves which are said to be
adapted for promoting circulation, is requested to apply without delay at
the office of the Morning Post.

The Force of Habit.—" 1 have seen many and mighty meetings, but it
never happened to me to behold such an assemblage as the one before me
to-day."-—Mr. O'Connell's Speech at every Repeal Meeting.

Wellington an Alcliemist.

It is said that Roger Bacon was an alchemist ; that he could transmute
lead into the precious metal. Wellington has lately displayed the same
alchemic power, for he has turned the Marquis of Londonderry into
" Gold Stick."

A Concert is advertised at the Hanover Square Rooms in aid of funds for
establishing a Charitable institution for Germans in England. As we have been
accustomed to look upon the entire kingdom as one vast asylum for these gesSry
the institution appears perfectly superfluous.