Punch (7.1844)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. L6i

ADMIRALTY ORDERS—THE TANGIER LETTERS.

ome of our readers will, we hope, be
gratified to know, that in conse-
quence of the offence taken by
France at the publication of the
Tangier correspondence, the English
Admiralty has issued a list of stand-
ing orders to the fleet for the better
conduct of our hardy tars in all
future cases. Perhaps it is the first
time that Chesterfield was ever
so ceremoniously introduced on the
quarter-deck. We subjoin a copy
of the Orders :—

" The Lords of the Admiralty,
desirous that the most polite and
ceremonious observances be culti-
vated, under all circumstances, by

THOUGHTS SUGGESTED TO A GENT. AT GHAVKSEWD,

the chivalry of the fourteenth century 13
compared with the nihstkemth.

Baron of N-! when I viewed to-day

That form of dignity, and step of grace.
Mix in the saraband so free and gay,

And marked thy bland benevolence of fa.ce,
1 fell to dreaming of an elder day,

And of the haughty Fathers of thy Race
1 thought,who such benign pursuits abhorrY",
And to the Polka much preferred the sword.

Noses and ears from lazy serls to lop,

The Lords of N-thought it not a sin ;

Nought their volcanic violence could stop,

Burning and smashing all with horrid din ;
As though the realm had been a china-shop,

And they the bulls that did disport therein :
Whilst thou amid the tea-things, in and oat,
the officers of Her Majesty's navy Dancest sublime, and breakest ne'er a spout!

towards the officers of the navy of France, publish the following u„„___ ,T , , . ,,

j-. , j } r b Heinrich Von N-was a shocking swell

«lrLS~ . . r, , , , He built the " Mouse-tower" in the Rhine afar,

"That m all cases in which an English ship shall witness the And burnt his vassals in a barn, thev tell.

gunDery of the French, such gunnery shall be considered with the Shouting, "The merry mice ! They dance ! ha, I

tenderest indulgence. So that that wicked nobleman may well

"That English officers shall not, under pain of dismissal from the Be deemed inventor of the entre-chat;

service, write or cause to be written any letter, passage, or mono- i He was the second of thine ancient name,

syllable, expressive of any feeliug save that of unbounded admira-, But thou, oh Baron, art the first in fame,

tion at the expertness, precision, and coolness of the French navy,— Another Baron too (who will not rhyme)

although every operation of the said force be ineffective, lubberly,
t*nd unseamanlike.

"That English officers, being servants of the Queen, are to con-
stantly bear the fact in mind that they are not—in cases of attack
by the French on a friendly power—to trust to the uncertain evi-
dence of their own senses. That, on the contrary, they are, under
all circumstances, to conform to the general order, and to declare
the gunnery and seamanship of the French to be perfect, past
imitation.

" That in all cases, officers are to consider and speak of the
Prince Joinville as the French Nelson.

" And finally, that every ship shall, henceforth, carry a civilian-
to be called naval historiographer to the French—who will chronicle,
in proper complimentary phrase, all the operations of our friendly
ally—to be published in an extraordinary Gazette, for the better
satisfaction of the people of England."

Here follow the usual signatui

Was fond of dancing, when his wars were o'er ;
But turned the gentle art into a crime ;

For, wanting sport and finding peace a bore,
He, to beguile the lagging of the time.

Would light a fire beneath his dungeon floor ;
So that the prisoners, for fear of scars,
Danced an intuitive Polka on the bars.

Thy fifteenth grandsire by the mother's side,

Was the most rampant Margrave of them ail ;
He, after raising plunder far and wide,
Held roaring revel in his castle-hall;
With lawless riot he the night defied :

Thou, with thy peaceful graces in the bull,
Win'st due subservience to thy gentle la»v,
And dost from noisy gents, extort applause '.

We deem not thee degenerate —ah, no !

Much we delight to mark thy raven hair
Along the gay quadrille so featiy flow,

Thy mild address, and gentlemanly air—
Far nobler triumphs than those deeds of w«,e—

REGISTRATION COURT EXTRAORDINARY. Stul be the waltz <™cl Spanish dance thy care !

For peer or peasant, Baron, Count, or Bart..
CITY OF LONDON. MR. PUNCH'S CASE. T(fbe ft Q^ ^ ^ ^ 'aoblest' ^ ,

Mister Punch having made his claim, entered an objection to himself, 1 T , ,

j .1 i j t> • • n • * u u u i i . Long may the honours thou so well dost wear,

and the learned Revising Barrister having been much mithered by this .s \.u * ^ 4i. u i_ ■ i i

a- * i *■ * -j a* i *i u j r j .i c ii • Adorn that gentle, though baronial, brow;

Pud menf' 8 g' And thou«h the eor°net tll0U stiJ1 must bea!»

JU Mr.Irnold said : « This gentleman claims to have his name inserted in - Ma? il sit 011 th* head> 86 uow !

the list of liverymen ; and I think the peculiarity of his costume brings
him within the description of a liveryman, for he clearly wears a livery.
I think I need only refer to Velveteen versus Plush, 19 East, to make my
own mind, and everybody else's mind, perfectly easy upon that point. It
has been urged that the claimant is a freeman, and undoubtedly there is
no man whose freedom is more decided. There is the case of Mister Punch
himself against Michael Gibbs, in which even the defendant Gibbs was
constrained to admit that Punch was more free than welcome ; therefore,
as a freeman, I think his claim must be admitted. It has been objected i
that Punch is a pensioner, because he takes the public money ; but
here, I think, common sense comes in and quashes the objection, because
his taking money is an obligation he confers upon the public, not the
public upon him, and the public are, in fact, the pensioners. The only
real difficulty I find in this case is, that Punch has objected to himself,
though I really don't see how any one else could possibly have objected
to him, because he is wholly unobjectionable. This is proved by reference
to. the Books—I mean his own volumes."

The learned Revising Banister went on to observe, that finding both
sides very nearly balanced, he had written out the arguments on separate
pieces of paper, and put them in a pair of scales ; and he had, on the
whole, come to the decision that Punch's claim would have been allowed
—there being a preponderance of two pennyweights—but the claimant's
own scruples preponderated over the pennyweights, and thus the claim
fell to the ground.

Never for politic or courtly care,

Or lust of power, thy needful rest forego ;
Ne'er be the golden canon lost on you,

That with its rights, hank has its duties roo !

FRENCH FORESIGHT.

The King ov the French being about to leave the country for a few
days, it has been thought necessary to delegate the royal authority to the
Due de Nemours, who is only to act iu case of a revolution occurring
directly Louis-Philippe's back is turned. The Due db Nemours is
consequently King for a fortnight, which, for a country like France, is
not a very contemptible tenure of sovereignty. The Prince de Joinvillk
is to remain at his elbow all the time; and, but for the sober character of
the Due de Nemours, we should be almost afraid that the young men
would get, what is vulgarly termed, " larking with their father's crown,
and place it in jeopardy.

We understand that one of Louis-Philippe;s reasons for leaving
France is to try how the French would get on without him. If there
were many countries like France, it would answer tderably well for
somebody to start a revolutionary insurance office, with a capital of a few
small kingdoms, so that every Monarch who subscribed might, in the
event of being burnt or barricaded out of one kingdom, be indemnified
with a throne in another.

Vol. ;