Punch (7.1844)

2G2

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Seasonable Benevolence ; or, Winter Clothing for the London Statues.

/"UiARITY is said to begin at home, but it has lately been going out, and
^ we are happy to announce that certain miserable objects, who have
long been suffered to remain in a state of destitution in the public streets
of the metropolis, are about to have something done for them. The public
must, for some time past, have noticed a miserable object standing in St.
Paul's Churchyard, who seems from her destitute condition to be sadly in
want of Queen Anne's, or anybody else's bounty ; the poor creature has had
nothing on her hitherto but a low-necked dress, with short sleeves, and
even to say nothing of the indelicacy of the costume for such a public place
as the centre of St. Paul's Churchyard, the sight is enough, at this season
of the year, to chill the hearts of husbands and fathers, who could not bear
to see a wife or child of their own in such a pitiable position. The bell-
rope round the waist, it is true, always looked winterly, but it gave no
warmth ; and we are glad to hear that the poor creature is henceforth to
be indebted to private benevolence for a Polka pelisse, a boa, and a close
bonnet.

The shelterless condition of the Duke of York has also been taken
into consideration, for he stands like patience on a thermometer, smiling
at freezing-point. Why should he be worse off than the common sentinel
at his feet \ Such is the question some humane persons have asked

themselves, and the result is that before the frost sets thoroughly in, he
will be provided with a sentry-box.

Charles the First, who not only suffered during his own reign,
but during every shower that has fallen since, will be provided with
a capacious gingham umbrella ; but the horse will be left to his fate, the
presumption being that the brute is by this time used to it.

The Duke of Wellington's representative at the Royal Exchange
will be encased in a military cloak : and here charity goes hand in hand
with correctness of costume, for it is very desirable to have the
Duke before us in " his habit as he lives," a design that is completely
carried out by the short military cloak with which he is so much identified.
The horse being of a lighter and more delicate breed than that of the
unfortunate Charles, is to be provided with the requisite clothing.

The melancholy statue which has beeD so long doing penance in a sheet
opposite the Houses of Parliament, or assuming the appearance, as some
I suppose, of a ghost expressly to haunt Peel and Wellington, and a few
others who are said to have worried him in or rather out of his life. The
statue of Canning is to be provided with a pilot coat to keep him warm, and
distinguish him from Pitt, the other pilot, who succeeded in weathering
i the storm raised by his enemies.

PEEL'S PROMENADE CONCERTS.

The public is respectfully informed, that the Theatre Royal, St.
Stephen^, will open for a series of

Promenade Concerts,

early in February next. The instruments will comprise the usual
amount of wind and brass, while the music selected will embrace a variety
of different tunes, uniting numerous extraordinary changes of notes and
a curious collection of measures.

Among the solo performers will be Lord Brougham, whose eccentric
performances on one string, introducing the grand theme of his treatment
by the Whigs, will be repeated occasionally throughout the season.

Sir James Graham will preside at the big drum, or grosse cause, and
will introduce the well-known letter duet, which is peculiarly adapted for
the big drum, being one of the grossest cases that ever happened.

Sir Robert Peel will have the honour to attempt a concerted peace
with Mons. Guizot; and an engagement will be offered to Mr. Ferrand
to act as second or third fiddle, introducing some of his celebrated feats
with the long-bow, in the use of which he is quite unrivalled. Further
particulars will be announced in future bills, which will be brought for the
purpose of being read as soon as possible.

A TRIFLE FOR JONES.

George Jones complains of our accusing him of having " scarcely any
punctuation." He oertAiuly does not know where to stop.

WATERLOO BRIDGE REPORT..

This document is more than usually encouraging. It states that there
has been a distribution of three-and-twopence amongst the annuitants,
and a division as usual among the proprietors—as to the mode of
managing the affairs of the company—being the only division of which
they have yet had the benefit. An allusion was made to the Hungerford
concern, and it was suggested they should now buckle ou their armour ;
upon which a proprietor wished to know whether it was meant by buck-
ling on their armour to put the man at the toll-gate in a helmet and
breastplate, in order to attract passengers. A proposition was also
brought forward on the subject of touting ; and it was under discussion
for some time, whether men should be employed to hoot all persons going
over Hungerford Bridge, and "chaff" the tollkeeper of the rival concern.
It was, however, agreed, that the Suspension affair would only be brought
into notice by this sort of thing, and it would therefore be better tj leave
it alone, so that it might "hang itself in its own chains," as a mortgage*
of ten shares in Waterloo prettily expressed it.

X.ega5 Intelligence.

Our learned friend Mr. Briefless has paired off with Sib William
Follett for the sittings after Hilary. No arrangement to this effect was
specially entered into, but it is an understood thing that Mr. Briefless
will not hold a brief until after the return of Mr. Attorney from the
Continent. Should Sir William go to the Privy Council as presiding
Judge, Mr. Briefless will, of course, feel himself at liberty to assume
' whatever attitude he may think advisable.