Punch (8.1845)

86

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CIIARIVAlii

ibut of these in another letter. You Lave here enough to show you how
kingly the diadem, boundless the sway, of Punch is in the East. By
it we are enabled to counterbalance the influence of the French in Egypt;
by it we are enabled to spread civilisation over the vast Indian Continent,
to soothe the irritated feelings of the Sikhs, and keep the Burmese in
good humour. By means of Punch, it has been our privilege to expose
the designs of Russia more effectually than Urquhart ever did, and to
this Sir Stratford Canning can testify. A proud and noble post is that
which you, Sir, hold over the Intellect of the World ; a tremendous
power you exercise ! May you ever wield it wisely and gently as now !
*' Subjectis parcere superbos debellare," be your motto ! 1 forget
whether I mentioned in my last that I was without funds in quarantine
at Fort Manuel, Malta, and shall anxiously expect the favour of a com-
munication from you—Poste Restante—at that town.

With assurances of the highest consideration,
Believe me to be, Sir,
Your most faithful Servant and Correspondent,

The F— Contributor.

P.S.—We touched at Smyrna, where I purchased a real Smyrna
sponge, which trifle I hope your lady will accept for her toilet ; some

" I will endeavour to render the bonds of my rule iitrht. I am desirous that yon
should regard us as friends sent to you by Providence bathkr than as conquerors.''

A somewhat difficult task this, for the Arabs to regard murder,
fire, and robbery, as the inconveniences brought upon them by Provi-
dence,—and in no way whatever attributable to the restless rapacity,
the love of mountebank glary, demonstrated by the French nation !
"Regard us as friends," says the King, "rather than as con-
querors." Imagine a Dick Turpin, after he had eased a traveller of
his watch and purse, and had, moreover, levelled him in a ditch with
the butt-end of his pistol—imagine the highwayman coolly observing
to the prostrate sufferer, " Regard me as a friend sent to you by Provi-
dence rather than as a conqueror !''

The royal comedian continues :—

" I will maintain your customs and your religion ; I will repair your mosques, and
re-establish your schools."

Wherefore, then, should Providence have sent French bayonets to
Algeria, if only to support the Mahometan faith ? As—according to
Louis-Philippe—Heaven has " chosen France " to rule in Algeria,

real Turkev rhubarb for your" dear children ; and a friend going to Syria j caQ h be °nly t0 8ive a new strength to Islamism \ Will the King

has promised to procure for me some real Jerusalem artichokes, which I
Jtope to see flourishing in your garden at---.

of the French make a better Mussulman than the Emperor of
Morocco ? Well,—we cannot answer.

To this, however, the principal Arab chief replied, saying :—

[This letter was addressed " strictly private and confidential" to us :
tiut at a moment, when all men's minds are turned towards the East, and " Since we were to be conquered, we are proud to have the French for our mastert,
■every information regarding "the cradle of civilisation" is anxiously and to belong to so powerful and generous a natiou."

looked for, wo have deemed it our duty to submit our Correspondent's „, ... - .. . , , , . .. .

letter to the public. The news which it contains are so important and The sa™e delicacy of sentiment has been expressed, m anticipa-
startling—our correspondent's views of Eastern affairs so novel and . tion, hy George Col man :

■remarkable— that they must make an impression in Europe. We beg " Eels might be proud to lose their coat.

the Observer, the Times, &c., to have the goodness to acknowledge their If skinned by Molly Dumpling's handl "

.authority, if they avail themselves of our facts And for us, it cannot, ^. we were tQ be flayed-says the comic Chief, for a fine

but be a matter of pride and gratification to think-on the testimony comedian he must be_what a proud thing for Algeria, that Franca

of a correspondent w.lo has never deceived us yet—that our efforts for.... . f, ^ r ° ° '

the good of mankind are appreciated by such vast and various portions "a<i tile skinning ot Iter .

of the human nice, and that our sphere of usefulness is so prodigiously on . « Tne words that have dropped from the greatest throne in Europe will fall on the
the increase. Were it not that dinner has been announced, (and conse- , heads of our brethren uf Algeria like a refre&hing shower."

queatly is trettiug cold,) we would add more. For the present, let us . . ., , , ., , r , . -i ,___. „.

M , { h ■ °, ,':• * ■ » ii- j\ ■ * \ This is as it should be; though we fear, let the shower be as

content ourselves by stating that the intelligence conveyed to us is most i " : . . . , P. , ', • L- r i_ ji

welcome as it is most surprising, the occasion of heartfelt joy, and we refreshing as it may, it will hardly remedy the mischief, hardly cure

hope of deep future meditation. ]

PLAYERS IN PALACES.

the agony, inflicted by former showers from the same regal elevation
—we mean the showers of bullets !

At the dinner, we learn that the King "served the Arabs with hk
own hand." Just as, in Algeria, the French army served Arab men,
women, and children vtith tluir own hands; only, unfortunately, they
had muskets or sabres in them.

And this, up to the present time, is the last comedy, farce, or
eople know that the French, as a burlesque—whatever the philosophy of the reader may deem it—
nation, admire and patronize fine enacted at the Tuileries.
actors ; and yet, from some strange

perversity, there is a large party in j --------

France who can see nothing to value

in Louis-Philippe. This is wrong.: BENEVOLENCE OF THE DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH.
With the very highest opinion of the j

genius of French players, it is our j jT has always given us peculiar delight to chronicle the beneficent
conviction that the finest actor in doings of his Grace of Marlborough. With what pleasure, then, do we
France sits, or rather holds, on the j extract the following touching paragraph : —

throne of that country. A short Story << HlGH Feeding fob the Poob.—We hear that the Duke of Marlborough
in the Algerie supplies another illllS- | has this week directed 2i 0 head of deer to be shot and distributed amongst the poor oi
tration of'this truth. Our readers are , Woodstock and the neighbourhood.-iJa^arj, Guardian."

probably aware that several Arab Believing that his Grace had some strong reason for this benevolence
chiefs came over to France, really to towards the poor—though is it not somewhat dangerous to accustom the
grace the triumph of General Bu-j palates of the "lower orders" to deer's flesh ?—we inquired into the
Q-EaUD,—ostensibly to receive the blessings of French civilisation.: matter, and shall next week be able to lay before our readers further
A.

royal

account of the comedy, in which Louis-Philippe was the principal
actor. His first speech ran as follows :—

"I am happy to see you round me, you who have fought under the e'/cs of mv
ohildrm."

few'days since, these Arabs were introduced to the King and ! interesting particulars. How, if it should turn out that his Grace not

ral family. The Alairie, with delicious gravity, gives the following only gave up 200 head of deer, but ^t,enriched'^e. 8rf'w^hmff£

1000 pots of curraut jelly ? Strange is the eccentricity ot some tones

And thereby obtained a portion of my parental love !—

" I thank God for halting chosen France amongst all other nations to replace in

benevolence ; therefore, let the reader expect a strange narrative.

Tne State of Punch's Revenue.

Contemporaneous with the official Returns of the last year's Public

Algeria the ancient rulers of the Arab population." j revenue, Punch has been looking into his own, which is highly satis-

„„..,,,,,,!.. i c i factory. Without going into figures, we may announce a steady increase

Has is the old thanksgiving with which conquerors have, for ages, j m tfaeJcon8umptioil"o{ jokes ; which leads to the gratifying inference that
blasphemed Heaven. They invade a country ; shed torrents of j)ersons w]10 have hitherto been utterly destitute of fun, have been able to
blood ; burn and pillage ; enact every atrocity that can sink men to enjoy the luxury. The reserved fund (of humour) which Punch has at
devils, and then, with the tint of carnage on their hands and plunder command is promising for the year that has just commenced; and on
•in their pockets,—thank God for having chosen them to do the work making up our books at the end of the twelvemonth, we trust the returns
of fiend6 1 will be as satisfactory as usual.