Punch (8.1845)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

FEROCITY OF THE BAR.

The barrister is a ferocious animal ; there is no doubt of it; and
great is the peril of innocent Members of Parliament who, in com-
mittees, are left at his mercy. We once saw half-a-dozen pigeons
shut up in a cage with a torpid boa-constrictor. Unconscious victims !
They strutted about and picked up their peas, thoughtless of the peril
near them, that in due season was to bolt them whole. In like
manner have young unsuspecting Members gone gaily upon Railway
Committees, altogether unconscious of the barrister—that boa in a
gown and wig—that was to slaver them for so much a day, and then
crush them. Mr. Wallace, in the House of Commons, has called
the attention of the country to the danger of Members of Parliament
when attacked by a barrister. We have read nothing in all the
vicissitudes of Indian sporting that has so quickened our sympathies.
Mr. Wallace declared that the only object of the barrister was not
to convince, but to "master the committee." He said, with a
tremulous voice and somewhat tearful eye—

" Lawyers were certainly the most presumptuous men that he had ever had to deal
with, and Members of that House were put upon most shamefully by them in committees
when the chairman did not interfere."

We regret to say, that there were creatures in the form of men
and Members of Parliament who laughed at this !

Mr. Wakley said, it had been averred that the barrister always

had the best of it, " in consequence of the Parliamentary intellect
net being up to the high standard of the intellect of the bar." No
doubt, in some instances, it may be an unfair contest ; a competition
of lead with bronze. It was also complained that the barrister often
told the senator that he knew nothing of the laws ; he only made
them. This, in a barrister, is certainly a little arrogant. It is as if
a brazen kettle—made eloquent by JEsop—should reproach the
brazier who had fashioned it with knowing nothing whatever of its
construction. Ungrateful brass—unjust barrister !

Mr. Wakley further observed—

'"' If it be notorious that barristers treat with contempt, and almost with scorn, the
judgment and opinions of the gentlemen whom they addrfcss, is it not right—does not
common sense demand—that you should place some person upon the tribunal who would
have some control over them, and be able to keep their speeches within the pale of
reason ?"

We think we espy a partial remedy. We would have Mr. Grant-
ley Berkeley as chairman of one of these committees. When the
barrister was about to go too far, lie would be pulled up by the
recollection of that gentleman's powerful argument in the way of "a
punch on the head." To be sure, it may be said that Mr. Berkeley
cannot take the chair at all the committees. Nevertheless, wanting
the great discoverer of the prime virtue of " a punch " properly
delivered, the committee might have in attendance Tom String, the
Tipton Slasher, and other practical logicians, to meet the argu-
ments of the ferocious barrister.

PUNCH

act i. i Scene II. is the port of Argos, with an altar in the centre, prepared

Scene I. is the bed-room of King Danaus, which is as bare of for the marriage, so that if Danaus had lived in London he would no
furniture as the rooms of stage monarchs usually are. The King is doubt have had his children married at St. Katharine's Docks. The

discovered asleep, with all his clothes on, and he is kicking up his
legs very furiously, in order to disperse a horrid dream. Nemesis
rises in pasteboard, and points to an inscription arranged by a trans-
parency lighted with a jet of gas, informing him that a son-in-law
will deprive him of his crown and life. By the way he appears to
have gone to bed with his crown on, preferring it no doubt to an
ordinary night-cap. He runs frantically about the stage from 0. P.
to P. S., the movement being expressive of his alternation between
rage and fear—rage whirling him towards the prompter's box, and
fear driving him in the direction of the stage-door. At length he

holds up his clenched fist, and
grins horribly, in order to express
his intention to get his fifty sons-
in-law killed off hand by his fifty
daughters. Eurioles, a slave in a
skin of black worsted, enters to
call the King, but brings no shav-
ing water, and to announce that
the altar of Hymen is ready, with
wedding rings for fifty, and priests
for a hundred. Danaus laying his
hand ominously (o la Levy) on
the shoulder of Eurioles, pokes his
nose into the latter's ear, and is
understood to have fully disclosed
his purpose to his faithful minis-
ter, who promises to make the
contemplated job a government
measure, and they both quit the

future husbands enter, with their poor cold legs encased in white-
cotton long hose. The three first,
who are principals, have a consi-
derable strut, and bow when they fa
get to the lamps. Those coming J*s\
next being the corps de ballet, have £f||
an air of somewhat less importance, 4 Uln

but the last dozen being decided

supernumeraries, sneak on with an | <$fe ||_

air of much humility. The young |

brides next arrive in shamefully <^=, I l^i&!^s

short petticoats of very flimsy ma- - • Js©?1

terials, and they are no sooner ' 3 ' |§S<CIS^T'*^

married than they begin to dance j -=0 :^fct^)

with considerable energy. Lynceus ISH ==:asffi&ffCj^ £jg*\S^

and Hypermnestra dance a pas de - ' .(.■ ■ ' 'a^j.-- ^y;''"^,
deux for the amusement of all the
rest of the newly-married couples,
and thus ends the scene.

Scene III. is a subterranean cave,
or coal-cellar, dedicated to Nemesis, ^HlEpl
where Danaus has brought his daugh- *
ters to arrange preliminaries for the
wholesale assassination that he has
set his mind upon. All but Hyper-
mnestra concur in the project, and a
good deal of serious business ensues
between her and her father. The the fifty brides introduced to

the WIIISrF.R.

stage. I old gentleman, by a number of TIIE fifty bridegroom*.