Punch (8.1845)

212 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

PEEL'S MECHANICAL MEMBERS.

We understand that Sir Robert Peel intends taking out a patent for
a new method of working a sort of political fantoccini, which he has
-applied with considerable success during the present session to the
members of the House of Commons. The puppets are all got together in
a line, and by means of a small revolving wheel, they are made to assume
such attitudes as may be desired by the person working them. They are

thrown into postures of attention, admiration, or enthusiasm, without the
smallest difficulty ; and, as they all go upon a pivot, they can be turned
round to any extent or in any direction at a moment's notice. The
invention requires some skill in using it at first, but the Premier has
brought it to perfection by long experience. We have no doubt the
invention will be hailed as a boon by " Peel's pocket majority.-'

HOW TO MAKE A MEMBER FOR WOODSTOCK. '

Members of Parliament are sometimes made, as Frankenstein made
his man, cf corruption. The sweet and comely borough of Wood-
stock has within these few days seen the manufacture of what the
Duke of Marlborough, with a gravity all his own, would call a^
representative ! Yes, a Member of Parliament has been made, ex-
actly as the monster is made in the romance ; only, that as regards
the monster of Woodstock, it is the merest vassal of its maker; in
fact, with no more moral dignity, with no more will, than a paste-
board toy worked by a thread. At the present moment, Lord
Loft us is Member for Woodstock ! At the time of his election, the
noble lord was travelling, all unconscious of the honour to be dropt
upon him. How the noble lord—what true nobility there must be
in a human being who has his ducal owner's name written in shame-
ful characters upon his forehead !—how his lordship will feel when
he learns that he is suddenly made a legislator by the hands of
Marlborough (as easily as dirt-pies are made by little girls), we
may not truly divine ; and yet we can understand a nature that would
burn and rebel beneath the affront as a shame and an insult offered
to the truth of man.

In very idleness of mood let us for a few moments consider the
condition of a man—we mean not Lord Loftus ;—no, but any no-
minee—who enters Parliament to do, and do only, the behests of the
donor of the corruption out of which the wretched handiwork is
made. Let us take a peep at the creature's soul. Why what a
miserable thing it is ! And then what a livery it wears ! There's
worse than branding cuff and collar —worse than ignominious plush
upon it. Why, it is clothed with meanness and turned up with lies ! |
And then its daily food is dirt; a filth that the gorge rises at. And j
this wretched, felon soul, will say " aye" and "no" to laws that are
to hang, and transport, and mulct meaner evil-doers,—the poor, vulgar
sort of criminals whose misfortune it is to sin against the laws that
the ticketted senator, in the comprehensiveness of his knowledge, in
the purity of his wisdom, makes for lower men ! Surely there may
be members of Parliament who—if they have ever a" lucid interval"
—might make common cause with their master's hounds. The dog
wears his collar upon his neck—and the dog-member round his soul.[

However, to return to the borough of Woodstock. The people
seemed to be mightily amused at the melancholy sport. There was
hard grinning—some good homely scorn, too—manifested, as
Lord H. Loft us stood for his brother. There was great fraternal
sacrifice in such devotion. Considering the purpose and the place,
we look upon the heroism of the act as we should consider the friend- j

ship of a man who for another volunteered to stand in the pillory.
There were a few epithets cast about—a few honest gibes from
honest men—that to a sensitive man might have been less bearable
than decayed apples and ancient eggs. After the election, Lord
H. Loftus was chaired! What a glorious victory! how heroically
the man's heart must have beaten ; what a comforting glow of the
blood must have suffused him as, borne aloft, he contemplated the
pure, the manly means, by which he—for his brother—had been
raised to the intoxicating elevation !

And in this way, from time to time, does the Duke of Marl-
borough edify the folks of Woodstock ! After this fashion does he
illustrate the dignity of the nobleman—after this fashion preach to
meaner men the utility and excellency of an aristocracy. And
doubtless the exhibition is productive of a sort of amusement ;
though we much question whether there would not be heartier and
really less mischievous recreation obtained from sports in which men
(not Dukes) grinned through horse-collars, chaced soap-tailed pigs,
and climbed a greasy pole. For, in truth, a Woodstock election, as
we have just witnessed it, is a melancholy exhibition. Human
nature does not think the better of itself by dwelling on it.

Legal Intelligence.

We understand that the idea of giving a series of legal evenings,
broached in our pages some time back, is likely to be carried out upon
rather an extensive plan, by an utter barrister of long standing (and
little moving) in his profession. The first of the series will be

A NICHT WT KNIGHT BRUCE;

and it will be followed up very rapidly by a

MORNING WT MAULE;

introducing a variety of anecdotes, songs, and recitations, of a novel and
entertaining character. The entertainment will include a Monopoly logue,
called

A SEVERE TRIAL,

in which the performer will sustain the parts of Judge, Counsel, Usher,
Plaintiff, Defendant, Witness and Juryman • being no less than seven
different characters !

Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 6, York Place, Stoke Netvington, and Frederick Mnllett Evana,
of No. 7, Church Row, Stoke New-lngton, both In the County ot Middlesex, Printers, at their
Office In Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whltefriarn, In the City of London; and publiehed by
tb~;n, at No. 92, Fleet Street, In the Pariah of St. Bride'i. in the City of London.—SiTuRDiT,
Ail T 10, 1846.