Punch (9.1845)

248

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

WARLIKE PREPARATIONS.

Preparations for war are beiug
quietly but effectually made. The re-
view of the Chelsea pensioners is not
the only measure of defence that has-
been commenced. The fourpenny
steam-boat captains have had a hint
from official quarters to keep up their
crews to the full complement of three
MAY I HOLD YOUR HORSE, SIR?" i men and a boy.

SYMPTOMS OF THE PANIC.

The panic appears to have reached
the Surveyors, who are beginning to
offer their scientific apparatus for sale
through the medium of small adver-
tisements. We continually see an-
nouncements in the papers of "a theo-
dolite to be sold," or "a level to be
had, cheap;" which is sometimes
specified, by way of further inducement,
to be a " good dumpy " one. We expect
shortly to see the doors of the pawn-
brokers besieged by engineers and sur-
veyors wheeling their theodolites inta
the arms of their uncles, and cram-
ming their dumpy levels up certain
spouts with fearful rapidity. It would
not be a bad speculation to put a few-
pieces of wood together into odd shapes
and carry them to the pawnbrokers,
who, in their innocence of what engi-
neering implements are like, might
lend a handsome price upon them. We
beg leave to put our various uncles on
their guard, for we are told the imposi-
tion is being extensively practised.

THE SUCCESSOR TO PEEL.

cannot resist circumstances till they are too strong for him, withhold
reforms till they are forced upon him, and abandon his policy in time to
prevent an iasurrectiou ? All this he will adventure " with his poor
gentleman-like carcase to perform," or to be thrashed on his own hump
with his own cudgel.

And wh > is he ? We would fain be modest—but let us not be mock-
modest. The truth is —and the Spectator knows it—that the successor
of Sir Robert Peel will be, or at least ought to be, no other than Mr.
Punch.

ur contemporary, the Spectator, informs us that
the official days of Sir Robert Peel are num-
bered, and that the Queen has already sent for
his successor, and tells us plainly that it knows
who that statesman is, although, for certain
reasons, it leaves his name to be conjectured.
Its reserve on this point is, however, quite
needless, since it has drawn his moral character,
so to speak, as large as life, so that the likeness
is as palpable to the meanest capacity as a
portrait in one of our large cuts would be, except
to that of the Standard. That character is, ac-
cording to the Spectator, an eclectic aggregate of
all the good qualities of every existing statesman and politician, with
Mr. Pitt into the bargain.

Can there be a doubt, after this, as to what should constitute his
physical portraiture ? Breathes there the artist who would not at once
depict the Roman nose, the upcurling chin, the dorsal gibbosity—call it
not hunch, the abdominal plenitude, and the small, but shapely legs 1
Lives there the limner who would not invest these proportions in the
ribboned cap, the gay Vandyked doublet, and hose of many colours, and
place in the hands of the figure the old familiar cudgel 1 And would it
then be necessary to inscribe under the picture that name which modesty ,

alone forbids us to mention ? Divii the Pla-ce 1 'v'e got to keeP mvself dr7'

There is an individual boasting the above attributes, who, we will say, Much less my praties,

though perhaps we shouldn't, is, of all others, the man for the Premier- Qr, Buckland. Ignorant peasant, don't mind Kane or Playfair—

ship. In addition to those recommendations with which the Spectator, \ Starch is only gluten, therefore innutritions ;
with a flattering personality, has invested him, the following, we are sure, | Steam your potatoes, aud you '11 find the fungus
will be conceded to him even by his enemies. With an aspect wooden Equal to mushrooms

under all circumstances, he possesses more than even O'Connell's
" matchless intrepidity of face." which has rendered that person ipsis
Hibernicis Hibernior. Add to this such an amount of actual courage,
Accompanied by an understanding so vigorous, that he is ignorant of
nothing but fear.

If it be said that a Prime Minister must be a puppet, we can assert
that he is the first puppet in the world. We could even rest his claims
to the office on his merits in that capacity alone. Is there a doubt
respecting his dexterity in trimming ? Look at his ribbons. Is there a
question of his astuteness? Consider the cleverness with which he
circumvents Jack Ketch, lo say the least, does any one think that he

ADVICE GSATIS.-AN ECLOGUE.

Paddy. What's to be done at all, Misther Commissioner 1
Here's a lotof praytees wouldn't plaze the pigs, Sir ,
Earlies and Lumpers, cups and common taters,
Gone to the divil.

Commissioner. Dig up your tubers, store them in a dry place,
Plenty of straw put underneath each layer,
Grind them to pulp, or, if you like it better,
Toast on a griddle.

Paddy. Murdther alive, but where's the straw to come from ?
Mill for to grind, or griddle for to toast 'em ?

Mr. Tilley. Chloride of lime is better, if you 've got it-
Twopence a pound is all that it will cost you.
One pound of chloride, properly employed, saves
Two of potatoes.

All together. But whate'er you do, Pat, keep your miud quite easy,
Science is at work examining the fungus ;
Though, for the present, we confess that we know
Nothing about it.

[Exeunt Commissioner, Buckla.nd, and Tilley. Paddy, with his
hands in his pockets, looks after them bewildered.