Punch (29.1855)

224

[December 1,

1855.

DID YOU EVER!

Friend, "Well. Sprat, mt Boy—and how do you get ox, now you're Married?"
Sprat. ''H'm! prettv Bobbish—but there's one thing makes it doocld uncomfort-
able sometimes—entre nous-

THE END OF YANKEE DOODLE.

By President Pierce.

My lease, but not my love, of power
^ Is near its termina'ion •
I'll seize on this auspicious hour,

To work its prolongation.
Julius Cesar play'd his game,

And so obtain'd dominion,
That Fra-n klin Pierce may do the same

Is my coufirm'd opinion.

Now a considerable some

The Iri-h party musters,
And also, if I beat the drum,

There's all the Filibusters.
A war with England would elate

Their bosoms, and no wonder;
'Twould gratify ferocious hate,

And rais-e the hope of plunder.

I've one uncommonly sharp tool,

A help unused to blushing,
Our ardent people to befool,

His name is Caleb Cushing.
The mob I'll get him to excite,

By balderdash and patter,
With expectation of a figbt

On this recruiting matter.

I '11 plunge the country in a mess

By means of that delusion;
Then take advantage of distress,

Disaster, and confusion,
Dictator of the States to get,

In time of need, appointed ;
And then a crown Imperial set

Upon my head anointed.

Nursery Truism.—Too many Nurses spoil
the Broth of a Bov!

FURTHER DECLINE OF THE DRAMA. EGOTISM.
We had hoped better things for the legitimate Drama at Drury Lane- ! LoRD. J?H.N ba9 had a fresh batcQ of. cards Pri?ted after the style of

than the doings promised, or we should rather say threatened, in the
following advertisement:—

"On Monday next, Nov. 26, will appear (for the first time in Europe) Madame
Labarebe with a Troupe of Lions, Lionesses, Tigers, Bears, Dogs, &c. (in a cage^*
After going through various performances, they will sit down to dinner with Madame'
Labarere and feed from her mouth. The Dog will feed the Lionesses, &c. Besides
going through the usual performances of putting her head in the Lion's mouth, &c,
Madame Labarere will firn a pistol, at which the animals will all crouch at her feet.
These wonderful animals have created the greatest surprise and enthusiastic appro-
bation wherever they have been seen."

We should have thought Mr. C. Matthews and his Twenty Minutes
with a Tiger would have rendered quite unnecessary the introduction
of Madame Labarere and the brutal guests with whom she sits down
to dinner. The age for exhibitions of this kind bad, we flattered our-
selves, been brought to a close, with the days when people wished to
see the unfortunate enthusiast, who insisted on descending like a
cannon-ball from a balloon, in a basket attached to an umbrella, which
he hoped would break his fall; and, when the enlightened British
public who had flocked to see a man hang himself by the neck at Vaux-
hall, applauded him for ten minutes after he had been dead, without
their being aware of the fatal termination of the disgusting exhibition.
It is true we have had men suspended by the heel to balloons in the
air ; but, as we have lately seen an account of the insolvency of one of
these flighty gentlemen, we came to the conclusion, that the profession
of throwing oneself out of a car, at an altitude of some thousand
feet in the air, was not adapted to the present taste of the public. We
regret, therefore, the apparently retrograde step that has been taken by
the Managers of Drury Lane, in inviting the public to a feast so far
removed from a feast of reason, as to include beasts for its guests,
while the hostess rams her head down the throat of the Lion, her
principal visitor.

some of his literary contemporaries, who are fond of detailing on their
pasteboards the grand woiks on which they modestly pin their fame.
Thus, on our Viennese Plenipotentiary's card, we now read, surrounded
wit h beautiful flourishes, as follows :

Punch Prophesies a Picture.

They write from Paris, that "the apartment destined for the future
offspring of the Empress is already prepared. It is close to the
Emperor's cabinet." Here will be a subject for our historical painter—

Horti Korjn Bttssell,

JLnt*fW " 3Tie ©(jitadeA wfitcfi fiave letaided
JKloraf and Tofiticaf ess.

" HEAVEN BLESS THE DUKE OF ARGYLE! "

It seems the Duke op Argyle is to be the Postmaster-General.
This is the first time that in England the name of Argyle has been
brought in close connection with the Post, though in Scotland, we
believe, some such institution has long flourished under the ducal
auspices, having for generations past been most efficacious in bringing
all hands up to the scratch. Let us hope one of the good effects of the
Duke's appointment will be, to curf the postmen of the terrible itch
they have for opening our letters. In our opinion, the most effectual
cure, and the one that would produce the least irritation, would be to
increase their miserable salaries, which at present are scarcely sufficient,
with the tremendous amount of walking they have, to keep body and
soul together, of their boots, much less their persons. Let the new
Postmaster-General do this, and many a poo>% fagged, worn-out fellow-
will fervently exclaim, as he rushes to the Post, " Heaven Bless the
Duke op Argyle!"

A Bit to Bother Brotherton.--Would a Vegetarian, who was
taken to the Station-house on account of the greens, or the cauliflower,
Louis-Napoleon III. directing France with his head, and rocking the | having got into his head, be necessarily locked u] all night in the

hope of France with his foot ! " Les extremes se touckekt1 I Green-yard?