Punch (64.1873)

42

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [January 25, 1873.

THE WEATHER AND THE CHACE.

southerly wind and a
cloudy sky" used to
"proclaim a hunting
morning." The late
rains, however, have
proved too much of a
good thing for Venator,
ia places. They have
especially affected _ the
neighbourhood of Wind-
sor, laying a large por-
tion of it under water.
Runnymede has been
running at a rate the
like of which has seldom
if ever occurred since
the date of Magna
Charta, and certainly
would not have hap-
pened then, or else
Runnymede would have
been a site whereon it
would have been quite
impossible to lay the
foundations of British
Liberty. Windsor Castle
stands on an Ararat
which yet rears its head
above the deluge; and
long may it do so ; .but
the following announce-
ment appeared the other day in the morning papers: —

"Her Majesty's Stag-hounds.—Owing to the extremely wet weather,
Her Majesty's Hounds will not hunt on Friday, as advertised; nor again
until further notice."

The Stags may thank the weather which has preserved them from
being chased by Her Majesty's Hounds, but, as those royal animals
are not permitted to kill them, it is possible that they would rather
have been regularly hunted than baited in the way they have been
now for three months, whilst it has rained cats and dogs. Not only
dogs, observe, but cats; so that the weather must not only have
been unpleasant for bucks and does, but equally so for "rats and
mice and such small deer," which are the quarry of the feline species.

RETAIL TRADERS, BEWARE !

Mr. Punch begs to apprise the Retail Trade that its time has
come. Up with all the Shutters! Announce Sale by Auction at
any Sacrifice. Listen to the Lancet .—

" The fact is, that retail trade is gone mad. There are far more shop-
keepers than the wants of the public require, and they think themselves
entitled to all the luxuries and enjoyments of life. Their wives, glorious in
sealskin jackets and redundant jewellery, are to be seen everywhere ; and the
pretensions of the class are becoming a nuisance that it is high time to put
down."

Put it down, then—pretensions, class, sealskin-jackets, and all!
Surge, carnifex ! The Lancet and the Profession have the matter
in their own hands. If every Medical Man will undertake to exter-
minate—of course in a regular way—a single streetful of retailers
and their families, the business may be done in the twinkling of a
pestle and mortar.

" Charge for the golden guineas. Upon them with the—Lancet."

Passing Oddities.

The wayfarer does read some strange announcements. At
Knightsbridge, a few days ago, he may have observed a shop-
window stuck full of bills, some offering, in large letters, "Gas
Stoves," and others, intermingled with them, " Skates." Season-
able advertisements during the late weather. In the New Turnstile,
Holborn, an inscription on the wall proclaims " Gentlemen's Repairs
Done." Within one would imagine a surgery. The reality is a
boot-shop. _

" Bis dat qui cito dat."

This means that he who gives quickly is usually asked to give
again. Moral.—Take your time, and a good deal of somebody else's,
before you grant a favour. Better moral.—Never grant one.

AN UNDESIRABLE PALL IN COLE.

"Mr. H. Cole. C.B.—On Wednesday evening, in distributing the prizes
to the successful students of the Nottingham School of Art, Mr. H. Cole,
C.B., announced his intention of retiring from public service, of which be
would next April have completed fifty years."

" ' An undesirable fall in coal' ? Nay, Mr. Punch, not so—
'There'8 no such thing,' as Shakspeare says, by my coal-bills
well I know."

" 0 yes—'tis true—my dear John Bull ; you '11 agree with what I
say,

When I tell you that I refer to Cole, with the ' e,' and without the
'a,'

" When I tell you that I refer to King Cole, to Henry Cole, C.B.,
The true steam-CoLE that got up the steam for ' the boilers' that
used to be:

And blew, and blew till he blew them at last all the way to Bethnal
Green,

And blew up in their place at South Kensington the palace that's
now to be seen.

" Yes, a cheese-paring administration all sorts of 1 mixed fuel' may
try'

But for getting up steam—or smoke at need—there's none with old
Cole to vie :

What, but power of his engendering, would have gathered South

Kensington's glories?
Who can reckon how many horse-power he's brought to bear upon

Whigs and Tories?

" Punch may have laughed, and set others to laugh, at the deeds of
old King Cole,

But at bottom, he knew, as the old song says, that he was ' a jolly
old soul!'

That ne'er before did England so well his Fine-Art hobby instal,
Even when his fiddlers a thousand not three he bade to the Albert
Hall!

" What courage short of his courage would have dared to face and
floor

The sense that an Exhibition each year is a yearly bore ?

What stubbornness, but his stubbornness, would the purse-strings'

command have won,
From six Chancellors of the Exchequer—one down and another

come on ?

" If Art in England is e'er to take root—some may think that a
largeish ' if '—

She may thank King Cole, her friend at heart, in spite of many a
tiff:

If Science is e'er to bear English fruit, unless in practice's soil,
Of its grafting and planting in our schools King Cole has borne the
toil.

" And when, after fifty years' hard work, King Cole takes his rest
at last,

Punch will call for a ' three times three for him,' for faithful service
past:

May whatever King reigns after him not make us regret King
Cole—

Who has done his King's work right-royally, and is a jolly old soul!"

Q. E. D.

The new and learned Judge of the Probate Court has decided that
a certain testator was of perfectly sound mind, although he was in
the habit of asserting that watering-place landladies are, mostly,
extortionate sharks. " Although" is, probably, not the word which
Paterfamilias would have used.

Help the Helpless.

Wretched street-boys are not to be rescued and sent to school,
says Mr. Forster, because that would be interfering with the rights
of the subject. But what about the rights of the abject?

"Hands Off!"

Fair play is a jewel, a diamond, a black diamond. As for the
" striking " ex-digger of black diamonds who forgets fair play, and
proposes to murder his fellow for daring to earn food for his family,
Punch would say, with Shakspeare, " Hang him, foul Collier ! "