Punch (79.1880)

214

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[November 6, 1850.

WHERE IT COMES FROM.
Dear Punch,

I read the following adver-
tisements all in the same Number
of the Northern Echo ,—

FOG.—Excellent FOG TO LET,

close to Stockton —Annlv

T

0 LET, Six Acres oi tou. ■
Apply, &c., Darlington.

0 LET, Four Acres of FOG, near
Redcar.—Apply, &c.

TO LET, Sixteen Acres FOG,
near Darlington.—Apply, &c.

SIX Acres of good FOG, well
watered.—Apply, &c., 'W’itton-
le-"Wear.

Evidently Fog is a merchantable
commodity in the North. I think,
if the Northerners were to come
to London, we could, just now,
sell them a few acres cheap,
“ well-watered ” and otherwise.
Eh ? old P anchy-wunchy.

Yonrs mistily,

The Gat Fogographer.
Fogshall. S. W.

P.S. — A Northern Farmer—
Tennyson’s or some other fellow’s
—has just looked in, and says,
‘ ‘ Fog means the second crop of
grass.” I don’t believe him.

Accommodation.

A Deputation from the City
Lands Committee of the City
Corporation requested the Strand
District Board of Works to with-
draw their objections to the
Temple Bar Memorial and the
proposed Refuges generally. The
Strand District Board could com-
promise by replying that they
would be ready to withdraw their
Objections if the City Lands with-
draw their Obstructions.

PUNCH’S FANCY PQRTRA1TS.-N0. 6.

PITY THE POOR PATIENTS;

“ The Governors of Guy’s Hospital.
have passed a resolution to adhere
strictly to the law in governing that
institution.”

Here’s an end then to all the
long letters and jaw,

For the Governors will rule by
the might of the law;

And this surely must mean that
from had unto worse
Must the hospital go ’neath the
laws of the Nurse.

Yet would that these autocrats
kindly would say
Whether, when ill at home, does
the Nurse still hold sway.

We trow not, and it causes no
little surprise

That the Nurse, not the Doctor,
treats patients at Guy’s.

LEX TALLY-HO-NIS;

Or, the Lord Chief Justice on his Hobby in the Nineteenth
Century.

“ Happy Thought !—write a history of the Chase ! ” said Sir Alex-
ander Cockburn to himself on the passing of the Ground-Game Bill.
The Chief has only two great predecessors in this line—Xenophon,
whom he quotes, and Mr. Joerocks, whom he doesn’t; but, like a
thorough old sportsman, he takes a line of liis own across country.

Tit for Tat.

(By an Englishman, who has got a
Cold in his head, Rheumatism in
his shoulders, Lumbago in his back,
six inches of water in his wine-
cellar, and a fervent hatred of the
Weather Prophecies of the New
York Herald.)

A particularly nasty, blus-
tering, cold, venomous, wicked
storm is leaving England for
America. It will reach New
York the day after to-morrow,
and will blow it down. It will
touch Chicago a day later, and
drown half the inhabitants ; then,
with renewed vigour, it will get
as far as San Francisco, which city
it will utterly annihilate.

New Reading. -
niente.

-Dulcigno far

The real Hero of Cars.—The
Winner o£ the Balloon Contest.

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

English Municipalities, fyc. (Waterloo & Sons). All Mr. Somers
Vine’s books on Municipal matters and Corporation compilations
are invaluable for reference. In the rise and development of Welsh
Municipalities the extra-ordinary reader will find most interesting
accounts of the growth of such places as Llanllwehairn, Ystrady-
fodwg, and Ynyscynhairn.

Mr. Scoones’s English Letters (Kegan Paul & Co.) is a collection
of special correspondence between 1450 and 1861. These Mr. Scoones
considers as ‘‘corresponding times;” and that he is right in'his
estimate will be evident from the following selections which, after a
somewhat hurried perusal of his work, we make from memory,
as having a special interest for the student— e. g. .—Henry the
Eighth to Charles James Mathews, asking for a second-hand
copy of Boswell’s Johnson, and C. J. M.’s characteristic reply;
Lady Blessington to Cardinal Wolsey, asking for a seat in his
box for John Parry’s Benefit at the Gaiety Theatre; Queen Eliza-
beth to Douglas Jerrold, offering him her hand and heart if he
would continue the Caudle Lectures, and Jerrold’s reply, which so
enraged the Queen that she executed the Earl of Essex, straight
off, and said that after her death “Caudle” would be found
on her heart; Dean Swiet to Archbishop Cranmer on Irish Dis-
establishment ; Charles the First to Lord Nelson on the Author-
ship of “Junius;” Sir Walter Raleigh to W. M. Thackeray,
on allowing pipes to he smoked at Evans’s Supper-Rooms, and
Thackeray’s answer to the effect that he considered cigars more
genteel; Roger Ascham to Hannah More, inviting her to a
bal masque after the Opera, and her reply, accepting the invita-
tion ; Oliver Cromwell to Macready, asking the latter’s opinion
as to his probable success should he, then a young man, give up the
brewing business, and go on tbe stage; and Macready to Crom-
well, telling him plainly that he couldn’t expect more than a
shilling a night at Pantomime time, but might make something extra
by sitting as a model for a Big Head.

TFIE I-DEAL . V. THE DEAL BOATMAN.

(An Illusion Dispelled.)

I knew him well. Not that I had ever seen him in the flesh—
but I had read often and often of him. I knew his “ grand massive
face, furrowed with care, and exposure to a thousand storms. Y et
strong and self-reliant as the face of a man who nightly wrestled
with death,” ( From “ Braving the Breakers.” A story in the Christ-
mas number of the St. John's Wood Gazette.) I knew his presence
of mind, his great calmness in moments of peril. I could see him,
“lashed to the tiller, with the pitiless storm howling around him,
and the fiery waves leaping and boiling high over him, yet did he
look forth into the night, and guide his boat as skilfully as a keeper
in the Zoological Gardens might direct the untamed elephant.”

(From1 ‘ Saved from the Barque; or, Worse than its Bite" A Novel.)
And I knew of his honesty and his courage. Were not their reputa-
tions world-wide ?

******

It was very dark now, and the storm was shrieking with increased
rage across the breakers.

A crowd had collected on the beach, and all stood gazing out to sea.

“Heaven help them poor souls as is abroad this night,” said the
old boatman, and dashed a tear from his eye.

“ Amen! ” said the crowd solemnly.

Every second they heard the minute guns.

Then the doomed ship burnt blue-lights.

“Splice my bowsprit!” shrieked the clear-eyed old Boatman,
“but it is the Mary Jane that is breaking up on the Goodwins,”

The tall figure of the Colonel was in the midst of the group. ^

“ It is the Mary Jane, and on board her is my mother-in-law.

They respected his grief, and there was silence, only broken by the
mad fury of the waves.

“A thousand pounds!” cried the Colonel, who had only been
recently married, “ to the man who rescues my mother-in-law .