Punch (7.1844)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 105

HE LONDON MISSION.—LOADING THE GUN AT EXETER HALL.

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Tux Members of the London Mission beg respectfully to inform
Christian philanthropists in general, and the religious world in par-
ticular, that encouraged by the applause which rewarded their
Jast entertainment at Exeter-hall, in the matter of Pritchard,
Queen Pomare, and the French, they have made arrangements to
continue their performances for the further enlightenment of the
heathen, and the pacification of the world at large.

Profoundly touched with the truth of the political axiom that the
■best warranty of peace is to make every preparation for war—
believing that the best security against the discharge of a gun is to
keep it continually at half-cock,—the London Mission confidently
invite the public to witness the extraordinary efforts they have made
for the perpetuity of peace, and the growth of brotherly love among
all nations.

The London Mission are in treaty with her Majesty's Government
for the purchase of the bomb-ship Infernal (to be re-christened the
Honeycomb'), in which it is their intention to visit Tahiti, and, if neces-
sary, to argue every point of Christianity with the French at point-
: lank. The immortal Newton declared that with all he had done,
lie seemed to himself no more than a child who had picked up a few
shells by the great ocean of truth. The London Mission flatter
ihemselves that their shells will be found very different from those

The London Mission do not arrogate to their own untaught efforts
the gunnery perfection at which they have arrived. Certainly not.
Since their last meeting at Exeter Hall, several of the brethren have
taken daily lessons at Woolwich Marshes, under the direction of
distinguished officers of artillery. The Reverend Mr. Smith has
especially distinguished himself, having with a rocket split a quill
tooth-pick at an inconceivable distance.

It was the intention of the London Mission to have exhibited their
gunnery in Lord's Cricket Ground, but that place having been pre-
viously engaged for the performances of the Ioway Indians, the
Mission had too much Christian consideration for the war-song and
war-dance, even to repine at being anticipated by their unconverted
brothers.

The object of the Mission in calling upon the public, and the re-
ligious world in particular, to witness their artillery practice is, that,
upon their shown success, they may the more confidently ask sub-
scriptions from the peaceful for the purchase of the Infernal bomb
above-named.

The rapidity with which the cannon is loaded and discharged will, it
is believed, at once ensure all needful support.

Modestly certain of the funds necessary to buy the Infernal, the
London Mission cannot forego the present opportunity of stating that

of Newton ; and their truth very different from his truth. 1 they are already open to the application of those peace-loving men

Pending the negotiation for the bomb-ship, the Mission have who would serve as volunteers in the expedition. The officers being
purchased a forty-two pounder, and earnestly invite the public to already named, foremast men only are required; and these must
witness the extreme skilfulness with which they load and fire. They have served the office of clerk at least three years to be eligible. A
have discovered that the very best wadding is supplied by tracts and few cabin-boys who have received medals at their Sunday-schools will

sermons ; they help to make the loudest noise, and, in many instances,
very considerably increase the smoke. It is also confidently believed
that cannon-balls inscribed with the w-ords Peace, Love, or Charity,—

do much more execution than vulgar, unblessed iron, discharged by j past. Firing to begin precisely at noon,
the ignorant laity.

be received. There will also be an opening for half-a-dozen pew-
openers as cockpit-nurses.

The chair will be taken at 11 a.m. The gun will be loaded at halt-

Wlore Destruction.

The Warner shell and long-range sink into nothingness compared to
•a recent discovery macit ^y Colonel Sibthorp. After much pondering,
the gallant Colonel has absolutely invented a pocket earthquake. The
destructive agent is so portable, that, as the advertisements Say, " the
most timid female may carry it in her reticule."

A Reasonable Request.

The Emferor op Morocco is said to have demanded the head of General
Bugeaud. This request, which at first seems somewhat cruel, appears
upon examination to be really exceedingly moderate, for in demanding
General Bugeaud's head, the Empekor has asked for that which the
French Marshal has lately made very little use of.

Vol. 7.

4—2