Punch (7.1844)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

WAR BETWEEN FRANCE AND ENGLAND.

(From our Folkstone Correspondent.)

e regret to say that the
Gallic Cock has again been
crowing over the British
Buli-dog in a manner that
complicates the question
between the two countries
much more than hitherto.
The British Bull-dog, in
the person of a commer-
cial traveller by the Dover
Railway, applied to the
Gallic Cock—represented by a French waiter at the Pavilion Hotel at
Folkstone—for a bed, when the Gallic Cock, with a grin of malicious
satisfaction, announced that every bed was full, to the immense annoyance
of the British Bull-dog, who went on by the next train to Dover.

It will hardly be believed that, notwithstanding this occurrence, the
harbour of Folkstone is sometimes left in the middle of the day, when the
steamers are all out, with no other force than a casual collier to protect
British interests. The landlord of the Hotel is a Frenchman, and, of
course, secretly devoted to France ; so that the English may be put into
the top-rooms, get the worst places at the table d'hote, and obtain the least
attention when they ring the bell ; while the foreigner, arriving from per-
fidious Boulogne, is well boarded, lodged, and waited on. British blood
will, of course, boil furiously, and every English pulse assume the violence
of the sledge-hammer at the contemplation of these facts ; yet Sir Robert
Peel sleeps in his bed, and the Earl of Aberdeen takes his wine after
dinner as usual.

SIR JAMES GRAHAM'S PUPILS.

Mr. Punch,—I am one of the suspended letter-carriers about

whom there has been such a fuss in the newspapers ; and I, with my
brethren in affliction, knowing the impartiality of your judgment,
address you, that fair-play may be done to all of us.

We are charged with opening letters addressed to Lord Ben-
tinck, Mr. Tattersall, and to other horse-racing gentlemen.
Well, we confess it : we broke open their letters—every one that
fell into our hands—but we did it, as Sir James Graham broke
the letters of other people,—all for the sake of public peace and
public morals. I should like to know what's the use of high people,
Queen's Ministers, and all that, if we poor small folks ar'n't to copy
and learn from them ?

Sir James said that what he did, he did for the peace of the
world and the well-doing of society. He had heard or dreamed of
cut-throat conspiracies, and so he went to work and opened right
and left. And what's the consequence? Why, all sorts of good.
They do say that the Italians who were all lately shot in the back,
were only found out by the news that was sent of them from the
Home Office—news jacked out of opened letters to Italians here in
London. Isn't this something comfortable to think of I Doesn't it,

do an Englishman's heart ™od to know this ? inclusive, between the hours of 8 and 8 ; or to the Editor, who, with

WANTED-A FEW BOLD SMUGGLERS I

pUNCH, being within this past fortnight denial admittance
into France, by an order expressly issued to that effect in Paris j.
an order, carried out with all characteristic zeal and fidelity by
Douamers and Postmasters, by which means every number of Punch'r
inimitable and cosmopolite journal found in the possession of a
steam-boat passenger has been seized and impounded, as though it
were another Infernal Machine iu handsome type—by which means
every copy has been stopped at the French Post Office (to the all but
irreparable loss and most poignant grief of the defrauded sub-
scriber),—

Punch is hereupon determined to engage at any cost,

A FEW BOLD SMUGGLERS,

that his Journal may continue to disseminate civilisation throughout
benighted France ; and, if possible, to touch the hearts of the natives
with a true sense of human glory, converting them from the false
worship of blood and fire, and gathering them into a brotherhood of
peaceful men. Hence, smuggling—at the worst, a venial eccentricity
—exercised in the cause of benevolence and Punch, becomes an
occupation for the Philanthropist and the Philosopher ; and the man
who successfully introduces our sheet into France, may, for all time
forward, consider himself a human benefactor. He is the missionary
of peace among the drum-beating heathen.

It would ill-become the character of Punch—now, happily, known
to the universe for his plain outspeaking—to affect an ignorance of
the cause which has made him distasteful to that fortifying monarch,
Louis Philippe. No, no ; Punch is fully aware that his well-meant
epistle to Joinville—that letter, written with a dove's-quill dipped
in attar of roses—was vitriolic acid to the royal palate. He knows,,
too, that his exposure of the Royal Beggarman, who talks of his sons
and daughters as a mendicant talks of his sores, that he may gull and
pillage the unwary, the while he is padded with greasy bank ~oteg
beneath his rags and tatters,—Punch knows that his exposure of
royal avarice has called down upon him the prohibitory vengeance of
King Dives, detected, as Punch detected him, mumming as Louis
Philippe Lazarus.

And, therefore, is the weekly sheet of Punch prohibited throughout
free and sunny France ! And, therefore, does Punch appeal to the
gallantry and magnanimity of the smuggler, that, by the beneficent
aid of the wiles of contraband, he may still, in despite of Louis-
Philippe, exercise a high Moral Influence over his unhappy sub-
jects. He, it has been said, is a benefactor to man, who makes two
ears of wheat grow where one only grew before. What, then, will be
his reputation, who, by the genius of smuggling, causes two numbers
of Pxinch to circulate in France, in places where one has been prohi-
bited ? Who shall enter into the sublimating feelings of that man *
Not Punch: no—it would be presumptuous.

Ladies and Gentlemen desirous of acting as smugglers to Punch
are requested to apply at his office from Monday next to Saturday

Well, sir, I and my fellow-suspended took Sir James—good pious
man as he is—for our pattern; and knowing that there was such a deal
of roguery, and hedging, and hocussing, and all that going on upon
the turf—we opened all sporting letters that we might know all
about the wickedness, and, like Sir James, maRe the most of it.

All we wanted, sir, was to put honest folks upon their guard as to
what was going on ; just as good Sir James broke seals only to let
the Emperor of Russia and the King of Naples know the wicked-
ness that was being got up against 'em. I repeat it, we merely
wanted to find out roguery, to make the most of it.

Well, sir, and for this, we are to have our characters taken away—
to be suspended—to have our mouths deprived of our honest bread,
and to have all sorts of bad names given us in the newspapers ;
whilst Sir James Graham keeps his seat and his salary, and his
character—or all that remains of it—to boot.

Well, this comes of being conceited, and copying one's betters!
For the future, as I want to do right, I shall just do the contrary of
Sir James ; and, in the meantime beg, Mr. Punch, that you will do
all you can for a Suspended Postman.

Brougham and the Attorneys.

O'Connell has presented his portrait " in a plain frame " to every
liberal Mayor of Ireland. Brougham, copying this generosity, intends to
present his portrait, also in a plain frame to match, to every English

two of his agents, is now residing in the Rue St. Honore, Paris. a
preference will be given to ladies ; Punch having, in his various con-
tinental trips, observed that the softer and more innocent sex smuggle
with an ease, a graceful audacity, far beyond the power of that
sophisticated creature—Man.

Handsome terms will be given to Members of Parliament—also to
a few members of the Dramatic Authors' Society.
No Bishop need a2>ply.

" Why did the town of Kensington appear in an inauspicious light on
the evening of the Duchess of Kent's birth-day ? "—Because it exhibited
multiplied instances of

0 S §g

an object worth v of aim.

It is rumoured that Government has acceded to Captain Warner's
proposal, and has offered him the National Gallery for him to try the
experiment with his projectile upon. As the pictures will, of course, be
removed, this is indeed challenging the Captain to do his worst.

Piinted by William Bradbr.ry, of No. 6,York Place, Stoke Ne-.vin«ton. ana Frederick Jfullett Evan*,
ot No. 7, Church Row, Stoke Newinffton, both in the County of Middlesex, Primers, at their
Office in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in. tho City of London, and puoluned by
Joseph Smith, Publisher, of -No. 53, St. John's Wood Terrace, St. John's H ori Road, Recent s Part,
In the County of Middlesex, at the Office, No. 194, Strand, in the Parish oi St. Clement Danes, m
tho Cuunty of Middlesex. — Satckday, Auoust 31, ISM.