DOI issue:
July to December, 1844
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16520#0127
120
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
with large floating capital—but you must understand—I hav'n't
at this present moment a shilling that I can fairly lay my hands
upon.
Otherwise, as a friend, as a relative, it would have given me the
greatest pleasure to see you through this little difficulty. I am not
insensible of family ties—I should hope not : but what are family
ties with money at its present price in the market ? Nevertheless,
let your motto be, Nil desperandum, and believe me,
Yours truly,
JoSET'H GOODEXOUGH.
PUNCH'S CHARGE TO JURIES.
Gentlemen of the Jury,
You are sworn in all cases to decide according to the evidence ;
•at the same time, if you have any doubt, you are bound to give the
prisoner the benefit of it. Suppose you have to pronounce on the guilt
or innocence of a gentleman accused of felony. You will naturally
doubt whether any gentleman would commit such offences ; accordingly,
however strong may be the testimony against him, you will, perhaps,
acquit him. The evidence of your own senses is, at least, as credible
as that of the witnesses ; if, therefore, your eyesight convinces you
that the prisoner is a well-dressed person, you have a right to presume
his respectability ; and it is for you to say whether a respectable j tion of peace with that country, to which you must confess yourselves
A PLEA FOR PEACE.
(INTENDED ORIGINALLY FOR THE SEPTEMBER NUMBER CF THg
" LADY'S MAGAZINE.";
Are we to have peace or war with France ? This is the momentous
question which now agitates the public breast. War is a horrible
thing ; but, on the bloodshed, burning, devastation, and kindred
atrocities which are its necessary results, we beg to be excused from
dwelling. They are too frightful to think of; and the bare mention of
them has obliged us to have recourse to our vinaigrette. To our think-
ing, the social inconveniences which would inevitably follow from a state
of warfare with France, ought, of themselves, to induce us most seriously
to deprecate it. For how many comforts and luxuries ; for what an amount
of those elegances which are essential to our refined existence, we depend
on friendly relations with that country ! We need hardly remind the
sterner sex whence it derives its eau de vie; we will content ourselves
with a brief, yet, we hope, sufficiently touching allusion to the source of its
Claret, its Bordeaux, its Champagne. But we put it to any heart in which
sensibility is blended with taste, to consider what the fairer portion of
humanity would do, were the transmission of those decorative improve-
ments, and those indispensable requisites to the toilette, which are only to
be obtained from Paris, interrupted ?
The progression of the corset, the inarch of the bonnet, the onward
course to perfection of the sleeve—the flounce—the skirt—the tunic
would be arrested—Horrid idea ! Where could a lady fly for shoes ? it
is impossible for her to wear the things they make in England.—Whither
should we go for the bouquet de la Heine ; for the esprit de lavande aiuc
irAllefleurs ? And oh ! when the London season, heralded by the Spring,
shone forth in the effulgence of its glory, what—what would become of
the Opera—and,—still graver question,—of the Ballet 1 Other things
we might haply smuggle ; but what contrabandist could import an
Ellsler, a Cerito ? Juli.ie.v, too, in the event of a war, would fly ; and
when might we expect the introduction of another Polka ? We might
wait for it—it might be " for years"—it might be " for ever." No j oh no !
Let us, if we possibly can, avoid war. Wives and daughters of England,
think, only think of what you would lose by such a calamity. Beg, pray,
coax, wheedle, entreat in every way, your husbands, lovers, papas, all, in
short, who are dear to you, to use their best endeavours for the preserva-
person would be likely to be guilty of the crimes imputed to him.
In like manner, when you see a shabby-looking fellow in the dock,
charged, for example, with sheep stealing, the decision rests with
you, first, whether or not that individual is a ragamuffin, and,
secondly, how far it is probable that a man of that description would
steal sheep. Of course, as has been before said, you will always be guided
by the evidence ; but then, whether the evidence is trustworthy or not is
a matter for your private consideration. You may believe it if you
choose, or you may disbelieve it; and whether, gentlemen of the jury, you
will believe it or disbelieve it, will depend on the constitution of your minds.
If your minds are so constituted that you wish to find the prisoner guilty,
perhaps you will believe it ; if they happen to be so constituted that you
desire to find him not guilty,—why then, very likely, you will disbelieve
indebted for most, if not all the graces which invest you from top to toe ;
for the Mazurka, the Polonaise, the Cracovienne ; for all the poetry, in
short, if not of life, of motion.
Compensation to ^cuffs' Officers.
In consequence of the operation of the new Insolvent Act, it is
determined by that large, influential, and singularly useful body of
men, the Sheriffs' officers, to apply to Government for compensation.
"We give a few of the most heart-rending cases :—
Lazarus -is a ruined man. There was a time when he
it. You are to free your minds from all passion and prejudice, if you could make twenty pounds by bail-bonds before breakfast. Now, he
can, and, in that case, your judgment will be unbiassed ; but if you
cannot, you will return a verdict accordingly. It is not, strictly
speaking, for you to consider what will be the effect of your verdict ; but
if such a consideration should occur to you, and you cannot help attending
to it, that verdict will be influenced by it to a certain extent. You
are probably aware, that when you retire, you will be locked up till
you contrive to agree. You may arrive at unanimity by fair discussion,
or by some of you starving out the others, or by tossing up ; and your
•conclusion, by whichever of these processes arrived at, will be more or
less in accordance with your oaths. Your verdict may be right ; it is to
be hoped it will ; it may be wrong ; it is to be hoped it will not. At all
events, gentlemen of the jury, you will come to some conclusion or other ;
unless it should so happen that you separate without coming to any.
EYES AND EYELASHES.
Sad complaints have'been forwarded to our Office of the conduct of
Waggoners, Draymen and others, Drivers of Carts and other vehicles of
burden, in respect of their manner of carrying their whips. The whip is
borne by these individuals over the shoulder, with the thong dangling
•down their backs. To this arrangement, abstractedly considered, there is
no objection ; but the thong not only dangles, but also whisks about at its
own sweet will, flying constantly in the face of all propriety, and every
now and then into that of some unhappy passenger. It is made to describe
those mischievous gyrations by the slouching, careless gait of the bearer ;
the irregularity of which, there is every reason to suppose, is in many
cases aggravated by beer. It is bad enough when a natural lash gets into
the eye ; what must it be to receive that of a whip there ? Policemen !
Punch and England expect you to do your duty, and put an immediate
tftop to this nuisance. Barclay, Perkins, and Co., correct your draymen. I
can't make twenty pence. Had a flourishing sponging-house always
full. Now, there isn't a soul in it. Did a good deal in small accept-
ances under twenty pounds to clerks, and such people—who'd trust
'em now ? Calculated that his loss by the bill was five thousand
pounds, every honest penny.
Moses---is also a ruined man. Has his sponging-house
empty7, and dreadful expences going on. Time was when he could
get a guinea a day out of every prisoner : now-, the money goes to
creditors. Believes that all the world will be insolvent, with nobody
to arrest 'em, if the Act isn't repealed. Has lost by it—for he is a
conscientious man, and has calculated every penny—£GO0O. 17?- 6|d.
Aaron-is entirely ruined, with nothing but his wine and coal
business to provide for his family. Can't get off his wine, becau&a
he can't discount small bills. Can't sell
his coals, because nobody will give ready
money for 'em,—and can't give credit
because of Lord Brougham's bill.
Thinks the world is going to end, or
Parliament had never passed such a
wicked law. Had a beautiful sponging-
house. In fact, was born in a sponging-
house, as was his father and mother be-
fore him : all that's gone. Used to
make five captions a day; hasn't
nabbed a single soul these three months.
If there's to be any security for pro-
perty,government can't give him less than
8,000/., besides places in the Treasury young isf^el.
for his five little boys. Sends a sample of
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
with large floating capital—but you must understand—I hav'n't
at this present moment a shilling that I can fairly lay my hands
upon.
Otherwise, as a friend, as a relative, it would have given me the
greatest pleasure to see you through this little difficulty. I am not
insensible of family ties—I should hope not : but what are family
ties with money at its present price in the market ? Nevertheless,
let your motto be, Nil desperandum, and believe me,
Yours truly,
JoSET'H GOODEXOUGH.
PUNCH'S CHARGE TO JURIES.
Gentlemen of the Jury,
You are sworn in all cases to decide according to the evidence ;
•at the same time, if you have any doubt, you are bound to give the
prisoner the benefit of it. Suppose you have to pronounce on the guilt
or innocence of a gentleman accused of felony. You will naturally
doubt whether any gentleman would commit such offences ; accordingly,
however strong may be the testimony against him, you will, perhaps,
acquit him. The evidence of your own senses is, at least, as credible
as that of the witnesses ; if, therefore, your eyesight convinces you
that the prisoner is a well-dressed person, you have a right to presume
his respectability ; and it is for you to say whether a respectable j tion of peace with that country, to which you must confess yourselves
A PLEA FOR PEACE.
(INTENDED ORIGINALLY FOR THE SEPTEMBER NUMBER CF THg
" LADY'S MAGAZINE.";
Are we to have peace or war with France ? This is the momentous
question which now agitates the public breast. War is a horrible
thing ; but, on the bloodshed, burning, devastation, and kindred
atrocities which are its necessary results, we beg to be excused from
dwelling. They are too frightful to think of; and the bare mention of
them has obliged us to have recourse to our vinaigrette. To our think-
ing, the social inconveniences which would inevitably follow from a state
of warfare with France, ought, of themselves, to induce us most seriously
to deprecate it. For how many comforts and luxuries ; for what an amount
of those elegances which are essential to our refined existence, we depend
on friendly relations with that country ! We need hardly remind the
sterner sex whence it derives its eau de vie; we will content ourselves
with a brief, yet, we hope, sufficiently touching allusion to the source of its
Claret, its Bordeaux, its Champagne. But we put it to any heart in which
sensibility is blended with taste, to consider what the fairer portion of
humanity would do, were the transmission of those decorative improve-
ments, and those indispensable requisites to the toilette, which are only to
be obtained from Paris, interrupted ?
The progression of the corset, the inarch of the bonnet, the onward
course to perfection of the sleeve—the flounce—the skirt—the tunic
would be arrested—Horrid idea ! Where could a lady fly for shoes ? it
is impossible for her to wear the things they make in England.—Whither
should we go for the bouquet de la Heine ; for the esprit de lavande aiuc
irAllefleurs ? And oh ! when the London season, heralded by the Spring,
shone forth in the effulgence of its glory, what—what would become of
the Opera—and,—still graver question,—of the Ballet 1 Other things
we might haply smuggle ; but what contrabandist could import an
Ellsler, a Cerito ? Juli.ie.v, too, in the event of a war, would fly ; and
when might we expect the introduction of another Polka ? We might
wait for it—it might be " for years"—it might be " for ever." No j oh no !
Let us, if we possibly can, avoid war. Wives and daughters of England,
think, only think of what you would lose by such a calamity. Beg, pray,
coax, wheedle, entreat in every way, your husbands, lovers, papas, all, in
short, who are dear to you, to use their best endeavours for the preserva-
person would be likely to be guilty of the crimes imputed to him.
In like manner, when you see a shabby-looking fellow in the dock,
charged, for example, with sheep stealing, the decision rests with
you, first, whether or not that individual is a ragamuffin, and,
secondly, how far it is probable that a man of that description would
steal sheep. Of course, as has been before said, you will always be guided
by the evidence ; but then, whether the evidence is trustworthy or not is
a matter for your private consideration. You may believe it if you
choose, or you may disbelieve it; and whether, gentlemen of the jury, you
will believe it or disbelieve it, will depend on the constitution of your minds.
If your minds are so constituted that you wish to find the prisoner guilty,
perhaps you will believe it ; if they happen to be so constituted that you
desire to find him not guilty,—why then, very likely, you will disbelieve
indebted for most, if not all the graces which invest you from top to toe ;
for the Mazurka, the Polonaise, the Cracovienne ; for all the poetry, in
short, if not of life, of motion.
Compensation to ^cuffs' Officers.
In consequence of the operation of the new Insolvent Act, it is
determined by that large, influential, and singularly useful body of
men, the Sheriffs' officers, to apply to Government for compensation.
"We give a few of the most heart-rending cases :—
Lazarus -is a ruined man. There was a time when he
it. You are to free your minds from all passion and prejudice, if you could make twenty pounds by bail-bonds before breakfast. Now, he
can, and, in that case, your judgment will be unbiassed ; but if you
cannot, you will return a verdict accordingly. It is not, strictly
speaking, for you to consider what will be the effect of your verdict ; but
if such a consideration should occur to you, and you cannot help attending
to it, that verdict will be influenced by it to a certain extent. You
are probably aware, that when you retire, you will be locked up till
you contrive to agree. You may arrive at unanimity by fair discussion,
or by some of you starving out the others, or by tossing up ; and your
•conclusion, by whichever of these processes arrived at, will be more or
less in accordance with your oaths. Your verdict may be right ; it is to
be hoped it will ; it may be wrong ; it is to be hoped it will not. At all
events, gentlemen of the jury, you will come to some conclusion or other ;
unless it should so happen that you separate without coming to any.
EYES AND EYELASHES.
Sad complaints have'been forwarded to our Office of the conduct of
Waggoners, Draymen and others, Drivers of Carts and other vehicles of
burden, in respect of their manner of carrying their whips. The whip is
borne by these individuals over the shoulder, with the thong dangling
•down their backs. To this arrangement, abstractedly considered, there is
no objection ; but the thong not only dangles, but also whisks about at its
own sweet will, flying constantly in the face of all propriety, and every
now and then into that of some unhappy passenger. It is made to describe
those mischievous gyrations by the slouching, careless gait of the bearer ;
the irregularity of which, there is every reason to suppose, is in many
cases aggravated by beer. It is bad enough when a natural lash gets into
the eye ; what must it be to receive that of a whip there ? Policemen !
Punch and England expect you to do your duty, and put an immediate
tftop to this nuisance. Barclay, Perkins, and Co., correct your draymen. I
can't make twenty pence. Had a flourishing sponging-house always
full. Now, there isn't a soul in it. Did a good deal in small accept-
ances under twenty pounds to clerks, and such people—who'd trust
'em now ? Calculated that his loss by the bill was five thousand
pounds, every honest penny.
Moses---is also a ruined man. Has his sponging-house
empty7, and dreadful expences going on. Time was when he could
get a guinea a day out of every prisoner : now-, the money goes to
creditors. Believes that all the world will be insolvent, with nobody
to arrest 'em, if the Act isn't repealed. Has lost by it—for he is a
conscientious man, and has calculated every penny—£GO0O. 17?- 6|d.
Aaron-is entirely ruined, with nothing but his wine and coal
business to provide for his family. Can't get off his wine, becau&a
he can't discount small bills. Can't sell
his coals, because nobody will give ready
money for 'em,—and can't give credit
because of Lord Brougham's bill.
Thinks the world is going to end, or
Parliament had never passed such a
wicked law. Had a beautiful sponging-
house. In fact, was born in a sponging-
house, as was his father and mother be-
fore him : all that's gone. Used to
make five captions a day; hasn't
nabbed a single soul these three months.
If there's to be any security for pro-
perty,government can't give him less than
8,000/., besides places in the Treasury young isf^el.
for his five little boys. Sends a sample of