DOI issue:
July to December, 1844
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16520#0275
268 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE NEW PATENT NOVEL WRITER.
To Mr. Punch.
CONTINENTAL INTELLIGENCE
Cannes has become an English
colony, and some of the settlers
have adopted the manners and
costume of the natives with sin-
gular facility. Lord Brougham
Sir,
I have to apologise for some delay in answering your obliging
favour, in which you did me the honour of suggesting to me the manufac-
ture of a Lawyer's Clerk. After much consideration, I regret that I have
found it impossible to produce an article which should be satisfactory to
myself, and to the profession. I have, however, been completely success- j nas cultivated the long hair peeu-
ful in the production of a New Patent Mechanical Novel Writer— liar to Young France, assumed
adapted to all styles, and all subjects ; pointed, pathetic, historic, silver- | the Parisian swagger, and wants
fork, and Minerva. I do not hesitate to lay before you a few of the '
flattering testimonials to its efficacy, which I have already received from
those most competent to judge.
I am, sir, your obedient servant,
J. Babbage.
nothing but the war-whoop to
enable him to exhibit, on his re-
turn, as a perfect specimen of the
natives amongst whom he has
located himself.
Testimonial from G. P. R. James, Esq., Author of " Darnley" and of
300 other equally celebrated works. I
Sir,—It is with much pleasure I bear testimony to the great useful- j
ness of your New Patent Novel Writer. By its assistance, I am now | . . 1+ -m- v +
enabled to complete a novel in 3 vols. 8vo., of the usual size, in the short 1
space of 48 hours; whereas before, at least a fortnight's labour was
requisite for that purpose. To give an idea of its application to persons
who may be desirous of trying it, I may mention that some days since I
at the Police Courts.
placed my hero and heroine, peasants of Normandy, in the surprising-
adventure-department of the engine ; set the machinery in motion, and,
on letting off the steam a few hours after, found the one a Duke, and the
other a Sovereign Princess ; they having become so by the most natural
and interesting process in the world.
I am, Sir, your truly obliged servant,
J. Babbage, Esq. G. P. R. James.
Testimonial from Sir E. L. Bulwer Lytton, Bart.
I am much pleased with Mr. Babbage's Patent Novel-Writer, which
produces capital situations, ornate descriptions, a good tone, sufficiently
unexceptionable ties, and a fund of excellent, yet accommodating morality.
I have suggested, and have therefore little doubt that Mr. Babbage will
undertake, what appears to me to be still more a desideratum, the manu-
facture of a Patent Poet on the same plan.
E. L. Bulwer Lytton.
Testimonial from Lohd William Lennox, Author of Waverley.
Lord W. Lcnnox pi-esents his compliments to Mr. Babbage, and has
pleasure in stating that he finds the operation of the Patent Novel-Writer
considerably more expeditious than the laborious system of cutting by
hand. Lord W. has now nothing more to do than to throw in some
dozen of the most popular works of the day, and in a comparatively short
«race of time draw forth a spick-and-span new aud original Novel. Lord
W. would suggest the preparation, on a similar plan, of a Patent Thinker,
to suggest ideas ; in which he finds himself singularly deficient.
The past week has been some-
what dull. A few broken heads
(low people) went off at five shil-
lings each, and found purchasers
in gentlemen who afterwards went
away in their cabs. Ruffianly
assaults upon married women have
been rather languid ; but one—of
a very fine sort—by a gentleman
" who had dined," was bought in
at forty shillings ; the purchaser
evidently thinking he had a great
bargain. Two black eyes, and a
contused nose, were offered by poor
policemen. Although they might
have been bought at thirty shil-
lings each, they were suffered to
remain on hand ; those who had the option of being the purchasers having
no money, and—for such delinquency—being sent to the House of Cor-
jection in the prison-van.
POLICE REPORT.—CRUELTY TO ANIMALS.
Two individuals, who gave their names respectively as Rock and
Flight, were brought up on the serious charge of ill-treating a mare.
It appeared from the evidence that the animal, who answered to the
name of Michael, had been very roughly treated. The poor creature
had been seen to wince under it very frequently, but Rock replied that
" galled jades " always would " wince," aud he could not help it if Michael
was in the predicament alluded to. It was proved that the poor thing had
been driven from St. Stephen's, Walbrook, to the Court of Chancery, very
much against its will. The prisoners said that Michael had the habit of
getting into a-rear, and it was necessary to check the auimal.
The magistrate asked whether the mare had any tricks.
Rock. Oh, several, your worship. I don't know whether I ought to
call it vice, but the mare is certainly very tricky.
Magistrate. But you ought not to ill-use the poor animal. Where is
the creature now ? Does anybody own it 1
Rock. I believe not, your worship. The mare is generally considered
not worth the expense of the keep.
The magistrate expressed a wish to see the animal, who said nothing
but " Neigh ! neigh ! " and appeared very restive.
The prisoners were admonished and discharged.
RAILWAY INTELLIGENCE.
In Kensington the speculations for the closing have been fully realised,,
for the railway has closed. A stoker and a kitchen-poker are thrown out
of employ by this catastrophe. The place of money-taker having beee
always a sinecure, will, it is supposed, be continued as heretofore.
Punch's Almanack will be ready
for Publication at Christmas!
Printed bv William Biadburv, of No. 6, York Place, Stoke Newington, and Frederick Mullett Evans,
of No. 7, Church Row, Stoke Newington, both in the County ot AI iddlesex, Printers, at their Office
in Lombard Street, in the Precinct ot Whitetriars, in the City of London ; and published by Joseph
Smith, Publisher, of No. 63, St. John's Wood Terrace, St. John's Wood Road, Regent's Park, En
the County ot Middlesex, at the Office, No. 194, Strand, in the Parish ot St. Clement Lniies.in
the County of Middlesex—Saturday, December 14, 1844.
THE NEW PATENT NOVEL WRITER.
To Mr. Punch.
CONTINENTAL INTELLIGENCE
Cannes has become an English
colony, and some of the settlers
have adopted the manners and
costume of the natives with sin-
gular facility. Lord Brougham
Sir,
I have to apologise for some delay in answering your obliging
favour, in which you did me the honour of suggesting to me the manufac-
ture of a Lawyer's Clerk. After much consideration, I regret that I have
found it impossible to produce an article which should be satisfactory to
myself, and to the profession. I have, however, been completely success- j nas cultivated the long hair peeu-
ful in the production of a New Patent Mechanical Novel Writer— liar to Young France, assumed
adapted to all styles, and all subjects ; pointed, pathetic, historic, silver- | the Parisian swagger, and wants
fork, and Minerva. I do not hesitate to lay before you a few of the '
flattering testimonials to its efficacy, which I have already received from
those most competent to judge.
I am, sir, your obedient servant,
J. Babbage.
nothing but the war-whoop to
enable him to exhibit, on his re-
turn, as a perfect specimen of the
natives amongst whom he has
located himself.
Testimonial from G. P. R. James, Esq., Author of " Darnley" and of
300 other equally celebrated works. I
Sir,—It is with much pleasure I bear testimony to the great useful- j
ness of your New Patent Novel Writer. By its assistance, I am now | . . 1+ -m- v +
enabled to complete a novel in 3 vols. 8vo., of the usual size, in the short 1
space of 48 hours; whereas before, at least a fortnight's labour was
requisite for that purpose. To give an idea of its application to persons
who may be desirous of trying it, I may mention that some days since I
at the Police Courts.
placed my hero and heroine, peasants of Normandy, in the surprising-
adventure-department of the engine ; set the machinery in motion, and,
on letting off the steam a few hours after, found the one a Duke, and the
other a Sovereign Princess ; they having become so by the most natural
and interesting process in the world.
I am, Sir, your truly obliged servant,
J. Babbage, Esq. G. P. R. James.
Testimonial from Sir E. L. Bulwer Lytton, Bart.
I am much pleased with Mr. Babbage's Patent Novel-Writer, which
produces capital situations, ornate descriptions, a good tone, sufficiently
unexceptionable ties, and a fund of excellent, yet accommodating morality.
I have suggested, and have therefore little doubt that Mr. Babbage will
undertake, what appears to me to be still more a desideratum, the manu-
facture of a Patent Poet on the same plan.
E. L. Bulwer Lytton.
Testimonial from Lohd William Lennox, Author of Waverley.
Lord W. Lcnnox pi-esents his compliments to Mr. Babbage, and has
pleasure in stating that he finds the operation of the Patent Novel-Writer
considerably more expeditious than the laborious system of cutting by
hand. Lord W. has now nothing more to do than to throw in some
dozen of the most popular works of the day, and in a comparatively short
«race of time draw forth a spick-and-span new aud original Novel. Lord
W. would suggest the preparation, on a similar plan, of a Patent Thinker,
to suggest ideas ; in which he finds himself singularly deficient.
The past week has been some-
what dull. A few broken heads
(low people) went off at five shil-
lings each, and found purchasers
in gentlemen who afterwards went
away in their cabs. Ruffianly
assaults upon married women have
been rather languid ; but one—of
a very fine sort—by a gentleman
" who had dined," was bought in
at forty shillings ; the purchaser
evidently thinking he had a great
bargain. Two black eyes, and a
contused nose, were offered by poor
policemen. Although they might
have been bought at thirty shil-
lings each, they were suffered to
remain on hand ; those who had the option of being the purchasers having
no money, and—for such delinquency—being sent to the House of Cor-
jection in the prison-van.
POLICE REPORT.—CRUELTY TO ANIMALS.
Two individuals, who gave their names respectively as Rock and
Flight, were brought up on the serious charge of ill-treating a mare.
It appeared from the evidence that the animal, who answered to the
name of Michael, had been very roughly treated. The poor creature
had been seen to wince under it very frequently, but Rock replied that
" galled jades " always would " wince," aud he could not help it if Michael
was in the predicament alluded to. It was proved that the poor thing had
been driven from St. Stephen's, Walbrook, to the Court of Chancery, very
much against its will. The prisoners said that Michael had the habit of
getting into a-rear, and it was necessary to check the auimal.
The magistrate asked whether the mare had any tricks.
Rock. Oh, several, your worship. I don't know whether I ought to
call it vice, but the mare is certainly very tricky.
Magistrate. But you ought not to ill-use the poor animal. Where is
the creature now ? Does anybody own it 1
Rock. I believe not, your worship. The mare is generally considered
not worth the expense of the keep.
The magistrate expressed a wish to see the animal, who said nothing
but " Neigh ! neigh ! " and appeared very restive.
The prisoners were admonished and discharged.
RAILWAY INTELLIGENCE.
In Kensington the speculations for the closing have been fully realised,,
for the railway has closed. A stoker and a kitchen-poker are thrown out
of employ by this catastrophe. The place of money-taker having beee
always a sinecure, will, it is supposed, be continued as heretofore.
Punch's Almanack will be ready
for Publication at Christmas!
Printed bv William Biadburv, of No. 6, York Place, Stoke Newington, and Frederick Mullett Evans,
of No. 7, Church Row, Stoke Newington, both in the County ot AI iddlesex, Printers, at their Office
in Lombard Street, in the Precinct ot Whitetriars, in the City of London ; and published by Joseph
Smith, Publisher, of No. 63, St. John's Wood Terrace, St. John's Wood Road, Regent's Park, En
the County ot Middlesex, at the Office, No. 194, Strand, in the Parish ot St. Clement Lniies.in
the County of Middlesex—Saturday, December 14, 1844.