DOI Heft:
January to June, 1845
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16521#0143
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.________147
because Tuesday had been named. The last man who was nanged at this town suffered
for murder about eight years ago, prior to which no such penalty was paid for many
years ; yet the townspeople say, ' We always hang on Fridays, up there, fac.ug the
Town-hall, with a scaffold we keep on purpose.' "
Thus, when a hanging can be had, the Aylesbury people will have
it on a Friday ; even as, doubtless, they stickle for pancakes on
Sh rove-Tuesday.
Poor Sarah Hart ! Miserable victim ! Nevertheless, we ques-
tion if her death by the hand of a murderer may be considered as so
great a social injury as that inflicted by the execution of the assassin.
On one hand we have a fellow-creature murdered—on the other
a multitude brutalized. Tawell growing grey at Macquarrie Har-
bour, would do far less evil than Tawell hanging at Aylesbury.
Newsvender.—'• Now, my man, what is it ?"
Boy.-" I vonts a nillustkatkd newspaper with a norrii) muhdfr AND A
likeness IN it."
When the miserable man Tawell heard the death-sbriek of his
victim—when he hurried from the cottage leaving a corpse upon the
floor—tbe iniquitous effect of bis crime was, by no means, wholly
developed. He fled a murderer ; blood was upon his head : and
conscience, like a fiend, crying to him. But the evil—the enormous
;vil done to society—was not wholly accomplished. The traders in
.ilood and horror—the butchers of the press, for truly they are so—
had to stimulate and feed the curiosity of society with pictorial
llustrations of murder—and the world was to be familiarised with
atrocity. And then came the disgusting, degrading exhibition on the
days of trial. A well-dressed mob, jostling and elbowing to look
upon a murderer—to listen to the most sickening details of hypoc-
risy and crime—as a matter of agreeable and healthful excitement.
The tears that trickled down "the innocent nose" of Mr. Fitzroy
Kelly when, wrestling with his swelling beart, he touched upon
•the domestic history of the prisoner, were to the audience much
more delicious, more exciting too, than the emotion of any other
tictor—say the highest—at a play-house'. "Well, the murderer is
convicted—is sentenced to be killed by the law. The law hangs
tl'.e assassin as a punishment and an example : as an expiation
of a wrong suffered by the dead—as a warning to the living.
Now, what a mournful, miserable blunder is this public killing of a
man for the alleged purpose of teaching the sacredness of human
•life ! "We subjoin an instance of the great moral good—by way of
example—to be obtained from the punishment of death. The
following is extracted from the Morning Post:—
" The exasperation of the inhabitants of Gravesend, where the parents of the mur-
dered Sarah Hart reside, is so great against Tawell, that parties have been already
formed to go to Aylesbury to be present at his execution."
How greatly must "the parties" be edified! WTill they visit
Aylesbury, awe-stricken, to be admonished by a terrible ceremony ?
Why no. The parties will be pleasure-parties. And for their
exasperation—their virtuous resentment, we have little doubt they
will compound between that and a little agreeable excitement. The
pleasure-vans of Hampton-Court will, it is our belief, not contain
more jovial merry-makers than the gallows-vans of Gravesend. In
what a serious, teachable frame of mind will these pilgrims congre-
gate before the gaol of Aylesbury !
By the way, it appears that the worthy denizens of the town were
about to be defrauded of one of their most valued immunities. W7e
give the subjoined from the Times :—
"In the town of Aylesbury, for ages past, Friday has been the execution-day ; and
•great surprise, if n it dissatisfaction, has been expressed by some of the ir.habitants.
EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR MATHEMATICAL PRIZES.
Q. What is Horner's method of approximation ?
A. Putting his thumb, for the sake of a plum, into a Christmas pie.
Q. What is a primitive root I
A. Punch's Root-too-tooit.
C- What do you call a positive constant *
A " Hereditary bondsmen, know ye not," &c, in O'Connell's speech-*
Q What is an arbitrary constant I
A. Brotherton's adjournment of the House.
Q. How do you find the difference of two or three quantities ?
A. By keeping a cat, and allowing your servants followers.
Q. What is a variable element ?
A. The fire in Talacre coal.
Q. What is the optical theory of interferences ?
A. Sir James Graham's reading your letters.
Q. What is an imaginary quantity ?
A. A pint of London milk.
INSTRUCTIONS TO RELIEVING OFFICERS.
uties of a Relieving Officer consist in re-
lieving the poor in the spirit of the Poor
Law—that is to say, he is to give as little
relief with as much trouble as possible.
For this purpose he should choose a con-
venient residence, say a dwelling equi-
distant about four miles from the house
of the Union doctor, and from the ex-
tremity of his district. This will be very
convenient for himself, as he will be
troubled by few applications. It will be
very inconvenient for his applicants —
which it should be. Suppose a family to
be starving ; an order for food must be
sent for, obtained, served, and then the
food carried home. About three hours,
at least, will thus have elapsed before the family can get anything to eat.
This will teach them to take care how they get hungry again. In like
manner, in a case of fever, three hours will be a nice time to wait—the
patient will mind how he catches another fever.
The relieving officer is advised not to be too much at home ; delay
and disappointment tend to make paupers provident, and inculcate
resignation on them into the bargain. Accordingly, he will also do
well to make the most that he can of any technical objection to
granting an order ; in fact, he should never grant an order at all, unless
under legal compulsion. The relief he affords should be as sparing as
possible ; he is not exactly to let his fellow-creatures perish, but if he
does more for them, he exceeds his duty.
By following these directions, he will assist greatly in reducing the
Poor's Rates, and thus approve himself truly a Relieving Officer, by reliev-
ing his respectable fellow-parishioners. No doubt, in the fulfilment of his
mission, he will happen to have a death or two from starvation and want of
medical attendance, laid, by sickly sentimentalists, at his door. He will be
cursed by the needy, in the mistaken bitterness of their souls—an indignant
Press will cry out upon him—unphilosophical common juries will occa-
sionally cast reflections on his conduct. All these things he must expect ;
but the esteem of good men (in Shylock's sense of the word), the favour
of Somerset House, and, above all, the comfortable hope of his littlft
salary being raised, will support him under his afflictions, and steel his
heart to the execution of his duty.
VERY CONSOLING I
Dr. Rush, in a treatise on Sugar, maintains, that " in those C3untries
where sugar is abundantly eaten, pligues are unknown." So that if sugar
were abundantly eaten in England, -a'e should get rid of the Polka.
because Tuesday had been named. The last man who was nanged at this town suffered
for murder about eight years ago, prior to which no such penalty was paid for many
years ; yet the townspeople say, ' We always hang on Fridays, up there, fac.ug the
Town-hall, with a scaffold we keep on purpose.' "
Thus, when a hanging can be had, the Aylesbury people will have
it on a Friday ; even as, doubtless, they stickle for pancakes on
Sh rove-Tuesday.
Poor Sarah Hart ! Miserable victim ! Nevertheless, we ques-
tion if her death by the hand of a murderer may be considered as so
great a social injury as that inflicted by the execution of the assassin.
On one hand we have a fellow-creature murdered—on the other
a multitude brutalized. Tawell growing grey at Macquarrie Har-
bour, would do far less evil than Tawell hanging at Aylesbury.
Newsvender.—'• Now, my man, what is it ?"
Boy.-" I vonts a nillustkatkd newspaper with a norrii) muhdfr AND A
likeness IN it."
When the miserable man Tawell heard the death-sbriek of his
victim—when he hurried from the cottage leaving a corpse upon the
floor—tbe iniquitous effect of bis crime was, by no means, wholly
developed. He fled a murderer ; blood was upon his head : and
conscience, like a fiend, crying to him. But the evil—the enormous
;vil done to society—was not wholly accomplished. The traders in
.ilood and horror—the butchers of the press, for truly they are so—
had to stimulate and feed the curiosity of society with pictorial
llustrations of murder—and the world was to be familiarised with
atrocity. And then came the disgusting, degrading exhibition on the
days of trial. A well-dressed mob, jostling and elbowing to look
upon a murderer—to listen to the most sickening details of hypoc-
risy and crime—as a matter of agreeable and healthful excitement.
The tears that trickled down "the innocent nose" of Mr. Fitzroy
Kelly when, wrestling with his swelling beart, he touched upon
•the domestic history of the prisoner, were to the audience much
more delicious, more exciting too, than the emotion of any other
tictor—say the highest—at a play-house'. "Well, the murderer is
convicted—is sentenced to be killed by the law. The law hangs
tl'.e assassin as a punishment and an example : as an expiation
of a wrong suffered by the dead—as a warning to the living.
Now, what a mournful, miserable blunder is this public killing of a
man for the alleged purpose of teaching the sacredness of human
•life ! "We subjoin an instance of the great moral good—by way of
example—to be obtained from the punishment of death. The
following is extracted from the Morning Post:—
" The exasperation of the inhabitants of Gravesend, where the parents of the mur-
dered Sarah Hart reside, is so great against Tawell, that parties have been already
formed to go to Aylesbury to be present at his execution."
How greatly must "the parties" be edified! WTill they visit
Aylesbury, awe-stricken, to be admonished by a terrible ceremony ?
Why no. The parties will be pleasure-parties. And for their
exasperation—their virtuous resentment, we have little doubt they
will compound between that and a little agreeable excitement. The
pleasure-vans of Hampton-Court will, it is our belief, not contain
more jovial merry-makers than the gallows-vans of Gravesend. In
what a serious, teachable frame of mind will these pilgrims congre-
gate before the gaol of Aylesbury !
By the way, it appears that the worthy denizens of the town were
about to be defrauded of one of their most valued immunities. W7e
give the subjoined from the Times :—
"In the town of Aylesbury, for ages past, Friday has been the execution-day ; and
•great surprise, if n it dissatisfaction, has been expressed by some of the ir.habitants.
EXAMINATION QUESTIONS FOR MATHEMATICAL PRIZES.
Q. What is Horner's method of approximation ?
A. Putting his thumb, for the sake of a plum, into a Christmas pie.
Q. What is a primitive root I
A. Punch's Root-too-tooit.
C- What do you call a positive constant *
A " Hereditary bondsmen, know ye not," &c, in O'Connell's speech-*
Q What is an arbitrary constant I
A. Brotherton's adjournment of the House.
Q. How do you find the difference of two or three quantities ?
A. By keeping a cat, and allowing your servants followers.
Q. What is a variable element ?
A. The fire in Talacre coal.
Q. What is the optical theory of interferences ?
A. Sir James Graham's reading your letters.
Q. What is an imaginary quantity ?
A. A pint of London milk.
INSTRUCTIONS TO RELIEVING OFFICERS.
uties of a Relieving Officer consist in re-
lieving the poor in the spirit of the Poor
Law—that is to say, he is to give as little
relief with as much trouble as possible.
For this purpose he should choose a con-
venient residence, say a dwelling equi-
distant about four miles from the house
of the Union doctor, and from the ex-
tremity of his district. This will be very
convenient for himself, as he will be
troubled by few applications. It will be
very inconvenient for his applicants —
which it should be. Suppose a family to
be starving ; an order for food must be
sent for, obtained, served, and then the
food carried home. About three hours,
at least, will thus have elapsed before the family can get anything to eat.
This will teach them to take care how they get hungry again. In like
manner, in a case of fever, three hours will be a nice time to wait—the
patient will mind how he catches another fever.
The relieving officer is advised not to be too much at home ; delay
and disappointment tend to make paupers provident, and inculcate
resignation on them into the bargain. Accordingly, he will also do
well to make the most that he can of any technical objection to
granting an order ; in fact, he should never grant an order at all, unless
under legal compulsion. The relief he affords should be as sparing as
possible ; he is not exactly to let his fellow-creatures perish, but if he
does more for them, he exceeds his duty.
By following these directions, he will assist greatly in reducing the
Poor's Rates, and thus approve himself truly a Relieving Officer, by reliev-
ing his respectable fellow-parishioners. No doubt, in the fulfilment of his
mission, he will happen to have a death or two from starvation and want of
medical attendance, laid, by sickly sentimentalists, at his door. He will be
cursed by the needy, in the mistaken bitterness of their souls—an indignant
Press will cry out upon him—unphilosophical common juries will occa-
sionally cast reflections on his conduct. All these things he must expect ;
but the esteem of good men (in Shylock's sense of the word), the favour
of Somerset House, and, above all, the comfortable hope of his littlft
salary being raised, will support him under his afflictions, and steel his
heart to the execution of his duty.
VERY CONSOLING I
Dr. Rush, in a treatise on Sugar, maintains, that " in those C3untries
where sugar is abundantly eaten, pligues are unknown." So that if sugar
were abundantly eaten in England, -a'e should get rid of the Polka.