Punch (8.1845)

192

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE TRAFALGAR FOUNTAINS.—GREAT NATIONAL
DEMON ST RATION.

The Coramissioi ers of Woods and Forests have at last made a splash,
and have managed to get the water laid on to these miserable specimens
of mauvais gout,
though it is ques-
tionable how long
the patience of the
public will permit
the continuance of
the insult that has
been offered them.
We are averse at all
times to popular
violence, but it is

A bystander, with an umbrella, came forv ,rd to move the first resolu-
tion. He said the meeting would be probably astonished to see him with
an umbrella on such a fine day. but he (the bystander) knew he should
have to pass the fountains, and he defied any one to do so without getting
wet, unless he had an umbrella. (Hear.) He begged leave to move the
following resolution :—

" That this meeting views with indignation and alarm the efforts that are making to
disfigure the metropolis by what are called works of ait. That to give the name of
fountains to two wretched representations of dumb-waiters with bottles of ginger-beer
placed on the top ot them, is a delusion and a snare, which this meeting pledges itself
to resist by every means in its power."

The policeman hoped that the meeting would consider his (the police-
man's) delicate position as a member of the executive government of this
great empire. It was not for him as chairman, (looking at the balustrade)
— he meant as postman—(looking at the Post-office opposite)—no, not
exactly as postman, but as president. [Hear, hear.) It was not for
him, as president of this meeting, to propose any amendment, but he did

imnossible to mix & ^j3&^" j hope that in the resolution they had just heard, the word constitutional

with the citizens at w*w\"- ^ would be introduced, and that the meeting would pledge itself to resist

Charing Cross with- W h!P**mlM- V fountains by every constitutional means in its power.

„„f c„™r.o.w;.,r» / JKiLLiTfilSrl The bystander consented to insert the word, aud

out sympatnising n\ JSs^^L jtV si mi ■ -i /■

with the honest in- ^sJ^^^^^' The ProPrietor ot the haPPv iamlly came forward

diguation we hear /ffim&kF* k'-'-Cst ' t0 address the meeting, amid enthusiastic cheers,

them express at the ^BK^^i'K He (the proprietor of the hap. fam.) was the friend

outrage on ailartis- f, \ \<] °[ Peac\ Hue had, Jau8ht theurat t0^e down,wl'h

tical feeling which WWJW W Wl i" I! '\ ,he cat' *?* hf c°uld ,no\na? he would no> ask*he

has been perpe ^eM1'^^ "< iff/ui j M % | people of England to lie down quietly under these

trated by the au- 'P^Sllfc'.- < / M, KM ifiv fountains. (Vehement eheerimu) 1 here was not

thors of these very d \^zi^2BkmkW • JfM wM 'iffli ! a te mouse m the whole of nis—the proprietor

bad designs. The ^§^5311^7 tJlWJlW WW £ ^ ^-'s-establishment who would not

unhappy turncock M #€f§^. «| , ,' .4^ ' blush to the deepest crimson at the thought ot sub-

was assailed the \ > Vfe^- ' 'LfffC^ \J ■ "j $ I mittinS. *» such « "dignity. But he dld, n°* Pr°-

other day with hisses M\IWSS%£M3 I JB FT yioleace: 2 °\ ^! ^7?, 16

and yells, until the | W^^WJ&i^% B ^ maD ° d° that- ,But ^ ^ ^

poor fellow ex- JiiiCgt^^SPM V''<W their moral power-to forget party, as the dog and

plained that his ^KSN^^^^^Ithe kltten m hls caSe forgot a11 Part/ ^tmctitons ;
office was simply "^—j aud' lf the^' wer! 0^'trU%,t0 efc , ° f'' ^

ministerial, and he ^r====z^^^gS"^^^Z-^T^ iountains were doomed They had not another
himself allowed month to play if the people were only firm.

with a love of manly Britannia visiting the fountains. .« Hereditary humbugs, know ye not-"

feeling, which did the highest credit to his noble heart, that he blushed The conclusion of the sentence was drowned in
whenever he approached the plug-hole, and never turned the water on to I vehement cheering, amid which the proprietor of
the fountains without shedding a tear. The populace cheered this truly i the happy family walked away.

British sentiment, and presented him with the freedom of a pint of porter j A vote of thanks having been passed to the THE IDBA1' 07 ™
in a pewter vessel, which he acknowledged by wishing "luck" in a neat policeman for his firm conduct on the top of the

speech of two monosyllables to the assembled crowd.

In the afternoon there was a public meeting on the terrace overlooking
the basins, to consider the propriety of doing something or other in the
way of demonstration against the fountains. The policeman on duty, in
compliance with a requisition from three respectable bystanders, was
induced to preside, and was unanimously voted on to the corner-post of
the balustrade, from which he opened the business of the meeting. He
began by stating that, though a policeman, he felt he was still a citizen,
and any man who loved his country must hate the Trafalgar Square
Fountains. (Hear.) It had been his lot to represent the municipal
government at various public works. He had been present throughout
the whole of the Nelson column campaign, and had watched the struggle
of the British arms—he meant the two pair of arms belonging to the two
well known hands, the celebrated man and boy—he had preserved the
peace of Kind's Cros3 during the irritating times when the statue of
George the Fourth was offending the eyes and rankling in the hearts of
an outraged public ; but he must say he never knew any exhibition with
so much pretension added to so much disgraceful failure as these
fountains.

The learned policeman concluded an address of considerable point and

post, the meeting dissolved.

TRAFALGARSftUAKS
FOUNTAINS.

power amid loud and long-continued cheering, which lasted for several
seconds.

THE ELECTRIC TELEGRAPH.

The electric telegraph on the Southampton Railway has been carrying
on some pretty games at chess between London and Gosport. We are
glad to see science lending its aid to harmless amusement, and we should
suggest that the electric telegraph might be made the medium of soma
conundrums of a pleasing and instructive character. We furnish a few,
just to give the affair a fillip ; but we do not doubt that when once the
idea is taken up in the right spirit, riddles will run along the railroad at a
rate hitherto unparalleled.

Q. When did the long train come in !

A. The long train came in when it was first attached to dresses.
Q. Why is Sir James Graham like a fast-train 1

A. Because he goes from one terminus to the other—of the political
line—without stopping at any of the intermediate stations.

Q. Why is Ma. Roebuck like our third class carriages, which get hall,
full of water whenever it rains \

A. Because he's open to both sides, and represents Bath,

Q. Why is Colonel Sibthorp the most liberal man in the House of
Commons ?

A. Because he's the very last man in the House that can be accused
of being a close shaver.

THE PUBLIC DINNER MARKET.
There has been considerable fluctuation in the value of chairmen aud
stewards for public dinners. The Duke of Cambridge was quoted »
shade lower, but rallied in the course of the day, and was ultimately done
at two and a half for the British and Foreign Institute. M.P.s were in
brisk demand as honorary stewards, but Knights were at a small discount.
Churchwardens have been very flat for some time past, and Lord Mayors
have fallen to the lowest point, with no immediate prospect of amendment.
Barristers were firm at a small premium for some of the lower class of
charity dinners, and Queen's Counsel were a good deal in demand as
Vice Presidents, though the market has been a little overstocked
lately.