Punch (8.1845)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

231

[ affair a job, if they like. Never mind that. To my mind, a job may
•yj^g- DEPUTY LICENSER ^e ^e vetns011—a^ tne better the more it's tainted. And there-

fore, gentlemen, 1 feel that it must, under the circumstances, give
"AND THE DRAMATISTS." peculiar pleasure to all my countrymen exercising the dramatic art,

_ to know, that on this occasion they have not been forgotten, but

that, on the contrary, they have been elevated, ennobled, by the
the recent Literary Fund Dinner—the ! toast that couples < the hea[th of mr johx Kemble AND the dra-
Eabl of Ellenbokough, on the : matist8 » The eloquent gentleman sat down amidst loud applause.

strength of his literature manifested ' _ot unmi_ed with laughter.
in his Somnauth and other proclama-
tions, in the chair—the health of Mr. __________

John Kemble, Deputy Licenser, "and
the Dramatists," was given, and re-

sponded to at "great length "says the "CALL" OF THE IRISH MEMBERS!

Timet, by the Chamberlain's officer. " But will they come when you do call them?" —Sqakspeare.

His speech, however, did not appear . . ] ■ ' rT

in the mornino' papers. Ua{)pilv, we Mr- Hume 1S determined that the patriots of the Conciliation Hall—

, , |. j „ -„_„" f :t those fire-new Catos and Bri;tuses, O Connell. Grattan, and others of

have been supplied with a copy ot it "r* • ' .

,rr L. j v kindred tongue and swagger—should come to iMigland and work upon

from an authentic source, and have i b x. f° . ., ° , , ,, r ,

, • i • »i a committees. Now, most of them mav say "we cannot work, though

peculiar pleasure in laving the docu- they. ca_ot ^ a and tQ feeg we a;e ashamed;>, begging, under the

ment before our dramatic readers. | genial jnnuer,ce of the liberator, being their especial function. Hume

Mr. John Kemble rose, evidently in a flutter : the honour had ; has constituted himself call-boy of the House of Commons; and if every

fallen, as it appeared, most unexpectedly upon him. Nevertheless,
j after a few moments, having assured to himself a decent gravity of
face, the Deputy-licenser began. He said—" Gentlemen, knowing
the peculiar reputation for pleasantry acquired by the illustrious
chairman in his late Indian government, 1 did at first believe, when
I heard my health coupled with that of the living Dramatists of
England—that it was only another of those brilliant and countless
}eux-d'esprit that, whilst a jest-book shall remain to us, must immor-
talise the name of Ellen-borough ! {Hear, hear, from Lord
Brougham.) I thought it purely a joke, believing myself in my official
capacity to have about as much affinity to English dramatists as have
the check-ti kers on the playhouse stairs. Doubtless, however, I
was in error; and must henceforth feel that the Chamberlain's
Deputy, wh>i merely licenses a play, is quite on a par, if not some-
thing above, the highest dramatic poet who may have written it.
{Ironical cheers from Serjeant Talfourd.) Fully aware that a besetting
modesty is my weakness, and at the present moment labouring uuder
an oppressive consciousness of the malady, I must nevertheless avow
my conviction that I have done a great deal to purify the modern
stage. I triumphantly appeal to the reformed appearance of the
play-bills! When 1 entered upon my office, the name of the
* Devil' was made very free with by presumptuous managers. Again
and again have I struck out the English word—so offensive to people
of real respectability—suffering the ' Devil' to appear only in
German. Der Nacht Teufel, produced at the Haymarket, is only one
of the many instances of my paternal watchfulness. Look, again, at
my tenderness towards Mr. Croker, and other living celebrities.
Was there not a base attempt to put that distinguished and lofty-
rninded individual upon the stage in a dramatised version of
Coningsby ? Who prevented it ? Who showed to Britons in what
•consisted the true liberty of communication of thought, by denying
to Righy any right whatever to appear before the foot-lights of a
playhouse ? It is not my fault, gentlemen, that I did not put a veto
\ipon even the publication of Coningsby : it is not my fault if Govern-
ment do not place Mr. Colburn and other publishers under a
healthy censorship ; for I conceive that I had as good a right, just as
good, to deny Coningsby the grace of type, as to refuse the work
admittance to the stage. {Ironical laughter from Mo nekton Milnes ) Gen-
tlemen, it is my belief, and 1 confidently speak upon my reputation
for veracity {cheers), that I have been selected for the post of deputy-
licenser for some peculiar, some paramount fitness, to be found only
in myself. I know it has been said by the malevolent, that the
appointment was a job—a gross job. Gentlemen, allow me to
explain the circumstances. My father, Mr. Charles Kemble,
•was my predecessor in the office ; but finding his interest strong
with the Whigs, his paternal love induced him to shift his place
upon my shoulders, thus providing for me for life, to the exclusion
■of every dramatic candidate. But, as I say, the Whigs must have
chosen me for my own unconscious merits ; for, can I believe that
the claims of veteran dramatists would have been otherwise put
aside to my exclusive advantage ? With men like Knowles,
Kennev, and Poole—men, who have grown grey in, I may say, an
unrewarded art—is it likely that I, who never wrote a dramatic line

Joey Hums (the Call-boy of the House of Commons).

"Now, Mr. O'Connell, if you please, Sir ! "

call-boy—London and provincial — were to write down their professional
experience (and remembering the mighty stage-nothings, the " Dagger-
wood Papers " that are wont monthly to appear, we see no reason why
they should not), they would hardly have for subject more miserable
ranters, more empty, mouthing impotences than are to be found strutting
and fretting at this moment in borrowed feathers in the city of Dublin.
O'Conmell himself has, it is true, a wide range of business : now acting
Pistol, now Cantwell, now Bombaites, and uow King Arthur. GrattaN,
O'Brien, and others, are limited to little more than the delivery of
messages We therefore hope that the Serjeant-at-arms will be spared a
sea-sickness ; that he will not be despatched to Ireland to give impor-
tance to the rant of mountebanks, and the tomfoolery of breeches-pocket
patriots. A ship-full of Irish well-fed, well-conducted porkers, would be
a far more valuable cargo than all the present brawlers of the Hall of
Conciliation.

The Iiight of the Present Say.

We understand that the trustees of the Kensington Road, in order to
reduce the expense of lighting, are in treaty with Herr Dobler for the
I'"™™ » " yvu" "CVCI w,OLe * wv-uxaw .me hase of the celebrated trick bv which he was enabled to ignite one

tn all my life, should have been elevated to a post peculiarly the huadred candles at 0nce bv firing off a pistol. This arrangement would

-ring off a pistol. This arrangement would

r:ght of tne oldest ana ablest dramatist—but for some extraordinary | ppare the superhuman labours of the « one man " who is engaged to
merits which, as they have hitherto been concealed from the world, light the lamps, and who, by beginning his round five hours bofore dark, iB
have been no less hidden to myself? The censorious m_y call the enabled to get through his task by an hour after daylight.