Punch (9.1845)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

39

THE QUEEN AND THE CORN LAWS.

TAILOR'S LATIN.

We all owe much to our tailor in one sense ; many of us in more senses

jctokia, our Gracious Majesty, than one. How shall society repay its tailor ? At least, by elevating him

has withdrawn her counte- in the social scale. Let his art rank henceforth among the liberal pro-

nance from Covent Garden | fessions. Why prefer the individual who gilds a pill to him who clothes

Theatre. It is a doomed, bad j a man ? Educate the tailor, not to that limited extent which would simply

house • its character as a re-' »'ve mm ^ne schoolboy knowledge of what is Latin for goose, but so as to

spectable mass of bricks and ! place him on a level with the apothecary. Tailors' Latin we^doubt not,

stnr-ro <rnr.P fnr Pvpr in oonse- 1 would be 33 Sood as doctors Latm- Let gentlemen prescribe their clothes
stucco gone tor ever m conse ;ustead of orderi them_ As_

quence of the naughty people , °

R. Super-Saxoniae Opt:

Valeuciae Qualitate Prtestant:

Alberti Mist: a a quant: suff.

Fiant tunica, subucula, braccseque laxse, hora prandii gerend:

—the Anti-Corn Law Leaguers
—who have held their revels
there. Thus, the Court, fear-
ing to catch free-trade prin-
ciples—as folks catch typhus
from foul buildings — attends

giant, with a hundred brawny
arms, shaking the pillars of monopoly. Alas ! it is now gone—
defunct: a mass of dead clay, " brained with a lady's fan."

All signal and soul-striking as is the visitation of Her Majesty's
displeasure on that dumb, dead playhouse—that cold carcase of a
tenement, Covent Garden—still do we think it insufficient to the
punishment of the crime of which it has been guilty. Any other
bricks of any other building would have felt the rebuke like bricks,
and have tumbled into a heap of ruins, smitten by the whirl of the
royal carriage wheels, as they rolled towards triumphant Drury. The

Part of a preliminary examination at Merchant Tailors' Hall might
at that unpolluted temple of consist in causing the student to translate such prescriptions, as, for
taste and genius, Drury Lane, instance, the above, thus :—
ordering thither the Brussels

nightingales. We trust that j Take> Best Super-Saxony,

the custode of that pure fane, the! °{ Fine Valencia,

poet Bunk, will be knighted ; of Albert Mlxture> each> a Sufhcie"t quant'ty'

—that the glitter of his spurs j Let a coat> a waistcoat, and trousers be made, to be worn at

may, if possible, cast a still dinner-time.

brighter lustre on the building fiut whi]e we WQuld ^ ^ WQuld W£J a]low thjJ my]iner tQ

m which his genius has already remain where she is ? Certainly not. For an artist who is to execute
lighted many blazesof triumph. c|assic drapery, what can be better than classical instruction? The
For the greater the glory of the father, the husband, the brother, may prescribe ladies' dresses ; whereby
Lane, the blacker the shadow economy will be consulted as well as elegance. As thus :—
on the Garden. The League

was " a great fact;" a stirring | R- Serici Ccerulei Virgas vjjj

Taeniarum Coccin: Virg: v.

Ut fiat vestis, secundum artem, rosis eleganter ornata, qua se
vesperibus adolescentula induat.

That is to say, young ladies—

Take, of Blue Silk, eight yards,

of Crimson Ribbons, five yards.
So that a dress may be made, according to art, elegantly trimmed
with roses, which let the damsel put on of evenings.

And let us say, in conclusion, that a physician would often find this

exteriorr^ro figures would have blushed a deeper red than was; ition ^Serviceable incases of low spirits and ill-humour ; very

ever yet flaunted m the inside saloons. But no ! There is some-, ' ^ which we ^ , a fa r tha(. u wiu relieve>

thing strangely hardening m a playhouse : for even bricks and.
statues become harder and harder still, exposed to its indurating

atmosphere. :

Nevertheless, we would have the whole of the theatre demolished,
carried away ; and to commemorate the defeat of the League and the j MORAL INFLUENCE OF EXECUTION

triumph of the Corn Laws, we would have the site turned up by the
plough, and then sown with the very best British wheat. A very
imposing spectacle might be made of the ceremony. Sure we are,
that to teach so great a moral lesson, the Duke of Richmond—the
farmer's friend—would have no objection to throw the grain broad-
cast. "We can picture him—the homely, out-speaking Duke, the
starred-and-gartered Adam of the soil—dressed for the occasion in a
smock-frock of white satin, with amber-coloured smalls of the same
web. A few Young Englanders with oaten pipes and silver crooks
might also attend as shepherds.

Nor wouid we end here. We would have all the actors and
actresses—who at any period of their lives had formed a part of
Covent Garden company—sought out and punished ; so that the
sins of the bricks might be visited upon those who, at one time or
the other, had kept them company. Mr. Charles Kemble has,
we believe, an interest in Covent Garden. Mr. Charles Kemble's
son John is the Deputy Licenser of Plays. Let him be immediately
degraded. Hitherto the Covent Garden Theatrical Fund has re-
ceived an annual subscription from Her Majesty's purse of 100?.
Of course this donation can never again be repeated. No : we would
have the warning and punishment complete and terrible. If bricks
and mortar be thus significantly reproved, why should men and
women escape i Let equal magnanimity chastise all alike.

In the meantime, we would suggest that the Lord Chamber-
lain should for at least an hour a day walk Bow Street, bearing a
paper lantern—made out of the Court Circular that announced the

royal visit to Drury Lane—with an inscription underneath showing _ „„ i

these awful words :—« Beware of an Anti-Corn Law House ! " Where ave ve bin 2 Why, to see the Cove ung, i