DOI Heft:
July to December, 1854
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16614#0012
4
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
A DELICIOUS SAIL-OFF DOVER.
Old Lady. " Goodness gracious, Mr. Boatman ! What's that ? "
Stolid Boatman. "That, Mum! Nuthun, Mum. Only the Artillery a Prac-zy-sin', and that's one o' the Cannon
Balls what's just struck the Water! !"
THE PREVISION OE PUNCH.
Mr. Punch has never been mesmerised, and rendered cataleptic, or
a somnambulist. It is impossible to throw into a state of sleep one so
constitutionally wide-awake. In short, the clairvoyance of Mr. Punch
is natural lucidity. The faculty of clear-sight is nevertheless possessed
by Mr. Punch, in a much higher degree than what would suffice to
enable him to perceive, through his office wall, what might be going on
in the adjoining establishment. Recent accounts from Russia represent
the Emperor of that country as being afflicted with a bad leg, a
"mind diseased," and a pertinacious liver complaint. Everybody who
knows anything of medicine will infer that the bad leg and the
disordered intellect in all probability depend on the diseased liver. Did
not Mr. Punch, before the war, when hostilities were only imminent,
declare his conviction that their outbreak would be the eruption of
the Czar's internal evils : that the insane course which Nicholas was
pursuing was the consequence of a mental affection, arising from a bilious
disorder ? Did he not even suggest blue pill ? The few locks which
adorn the head of Mr. Punch are now in the state of the quills of the
" fretful porcupine." He is, like Professor Kattereelto with his
hair on end, wondering at his own wonders. But what is the use of
wondering at the high truths of medical philosophy ? It were better to
apply them ; and save, with a few grains of mercurial pill, an immense
quantity of human blood.
The Game of Russia.
Strategy is generally considered to resemble Chess ; but the retro-
grade movement of the Russians across the Pruth looks rather like
Back-Gammon.
Q. Why is the drum in an orchestra like the Government F
A. Because it is beaten almost every night.
ALL THE EUN OE THE EIELD.
In the_ course of a recent tour through a rural district, a corres-
pondent informs us that he met with as many as three jokes. These
facetiae were all included in one field, namely, a wheat field, and they
consisted, each, in two bundles of cornstalks twisted into ropes, and
tied across a narrow path bisecting the crop, by which ingenious ar-
rangement any person walking that way in the twdight would be
tripped up, and the result would be a bit of fun—no less, perhaps, than
the fracture of his legs, or nose, or skull. Being a stolid kind of person,
our correspondent destroyed these jokes with his walking-stick. He
could not concur with the rustic mind in considering breaking a limb
to be cracking a joke, and did not reflect that by hindering somebody
or other from getting crippled, he spoiled sport.
MURDER EROM THE ERENCH.
We trust that our Erench visitors will be taken to the Princess's
Theatre, in order to observe the great reverence with which murder
from the Erench is treated by Mr. Charles Kean, who, in the Courier
of Lyons, plays both black and white—the villain and the good man! His
changes are said to be, by certain of our critics, most marvellous- A
thinking public is called upon not to wonder at the rapidity and variety
of the moral and physical emotions of a player, but at the miraculous
rapidity with which the actor changes his dress. Thus, as usual at
the Princess's, the inspired dramatist is thetador ; and the poet's steed,
not a Pegasus, but a clothes-horse.
Our Pious Premier.—It is universally admitted that Lord Aber-
deen's '.vxplanation is the most conspicuous act of humble-piety on
record.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
A DELICIOUS SAIL-OFF DOVER.
Old Lady. " Goodness gracious, Mr. Boatman ! What's that ? "
Stolid Boatman. "That, Mum! Nuthun, Mum. Only the Artillery a Prac-zy-sin', and that's one o' the Cannon
Balls what's just struck the Water! !"
THE PREVISION OE PUNCH.
Mr. Punch has never been mesmerised, and rendered cataleptic, or
a somnambulist. It is impossible to throw into a state of sleep one so
constitutionally wide-awake. In short, the clairvoyance of Mr. Punch
is natural lucidity. The faculty of clear-sight is nevertheless possessed
by Mr. Punch, in a much higher degree than what would suffice to
enable him to perceive, through his office wall, what might be going on
in the adjoining establishment. Recent accounts from Russia represent
the Emperor of that country as being afflicted with a bad leg, a
"mind diseased," and a pertinacious liver complaint. Everybody who
knows anything of medicine will infer that the bad leg and the
disordered intellect in all probability depend on the diseased liver. Did
not Mr. Punch, before the war, when hostilities were only imminent,
declare his conviction that their outbreak would be the eruption of
the Czar's internal evils : that the insane course which Nicholas was
pursuing was the consequence of a mental affection, arising from a bilious
disorder ? Did he not even suggest blue pill ? The few locks which
adorn the head of Mr. Punch are now in the state of the quills of the
" fretful porcupine." He is, like Professor Kattereelto with his
hair on end, wondering at his own wonders. But what is the use of
wondering at the high truths of medical philosophy ? It were better to
apply them ; and save, with a few grains of mercurial pill, an immense
quantity of human blood.
The Game of Russia.
Strategy is generally considered to resemble Chess ; but the retro-
grade movement of the Russians across the Pruth looks rather like
Back-Gammon.
Q. Why is the drum in an orchestra like the Government F
A. Because it is beaten almost every night.
ALL THE EUN OE THE EIELD.
In the_ course of a recent tour through a rural district, a corres-
pondent informs us that he met with as many as three jokes. These
facetiae were all included in one field, namely, a wheat field, and they
consisted, each, in two bundles of cornstalks twisted into ropes, and
tied across a narrow path bisecting the crop, by which ingenious ar-
rangement any person walking that way in the twdight would be
tripped up, and the result would be a bit of fun—no less, perhaps, than
the fracture of his legs, or nose, or skull. Being a stolid kind of person,
our correspondent destroyed these jokes with his walking-stick. He
could not concur with the rustic mind in considering breaking a limb
to be cracking a joke, and did not reflect that by hindering somebody
or other from getting crippled, he spoiled sport.
MURDER EROM THE ERENCH.
We trust that our Erench visitors will be taken to the Princess's
Theatre, in order to observe the great reverence with which murder
from the Erench is treated by Mr. Charles Kean, who, in the Courier
of Lyons, plays both black and white—the villain and the good man! His
changes are said to be, by certain of our critics, most marvellous- A
thinking public is called upon not to wonder at the rapidity and variety
of the moral and physical emotions of a player, but at the miraculous
rapidity with which the actor changes his dress. Thus, as usual at
the Princess's, the inspired dramatist is thetador ; and the poet's steed,
not a Pegasus, but a clothes-horse.
Our Pious Premier.—It is universally admitted that Lord Aber-
deen's '.vxplanation is the most conspicuous act of humble-piety on
record.