Punch (27.1854)

NEW CRICKETING DRESSES, TO PROTECT ALL ENGLAND AGAINST THE PRESENT SWIFT BOWLING

FRENCH TROOPS IN BRITISH BOTTOMS.

Being the literal Translation of a Letter from Anatole Grigoux,
Sergeant of the 3me Legere, on board Her Britannic Majesty's
ship Hannibal, to Martin Toulourou, Corporal of the Chasseurs
de Vincennes, Camp at Devna.

" My Dear,

" I write thee to give thee an idea of the life we lead on
board the ships of war of the Insularies. In the first place put on one
side all thou hast read or seen in the journals, thy feuilletons, the
Dramas of the Boulevard, of the John Bull—that fantastic animal, as he
has been created by Mery, D'Ennery, Cozgnard Brothers, and all
those gentlemen—and instead of a being, morose, taciturn, continually
selling his wife by auction, always suffering from the ' spleen/ ex-
pending enormous sums in incredible bets, nourishing himself on a
bleeding roast-beef, watered with a flaming punch, always clothed in
the riding-coat, and the top-boots—loving the box, the race, the sport
and turf, and detesting the ' French dogue5 (sic)—figure to thyself an
individual gay, amiable, careless, free of word (fibre de parole), dressed
in the blue jacket and loose pantaloons of the mariner, willingly
making himself to our habits, though flaying alive our language (e'eor-
chant noire langue) in a manner the most diverting, not eating but of
the boiled-beef, and contenting himself for all beverage with a modest
grog of rum.

" In fine, reverse the picture, which has been held up to you amongst
us (chez nous), and you will see something like the John Bull, as
our transport on board the vessels of war has made us know him.
But above all, figure to yourself, that this John Bull is also an
accomplished cook. I see you make the large eyes. It is true, my
word of honour. Thanks to Heaven we have learnt from him, already,
to appreciate the famous plum-pud ding ! It has b'een received with a
lively adhesion, and, in the end, adopted almost to unanimity by our
brave soldiers !

" The first day of our traverse, on which that frightful sickness of
the sea rendered it possible for us to take nourishment, they have dis-
tributed to us (on nous a fait partage) rations. It was to each an
enormous piece of boiled beef, accompanied by dry peas, with a portion
of a solid and excellent biscuit. We have at once (tout de suite) under-

stood we were to arrange this each after his own fashion. But to this
succeeded something quite mysterious—a portion of flour, morsels of
suet, raisins of Corinth, in fine, what do I know? Here we are,
entirely off the scent (nous voila lout a fait depiste), regarding each
other in the eyes, interrogating each other—ashamed, as French soldiers,
of an ignorance which it was impossible for us to conceal from the
eyes of our insular hosts.

" At length repeated expressions, from our new friends, of ' the plum-
pudding ! the plum-pudding!' have revealed to us that we held to us
in the hands this mysterious comestible, so dear to the inhabitant of
Albion, alike by sea and by land. Enough ! we had received the ele-
ments—but how to combine them ? At this crisis has revealed itself
the generous instinct of those we have always hitherto considered our
irreconcilable enemies ! Mingled with our ranks might be seen the
insular mariner of Albion, engaged, with a touching simplicity, in the
task of instructing the brave soldiers of France in the mystery of the
plum-pudding.

"This moment has appeared to me sublime! I wished myself a
Vernet, or a Scheffer, to fix with the brush this symbol, at the first
sight so trivial, but at the bottom so profound, of the fraternization of
the peoples ! We have since frequently made trial of the plum-pudding.
Some essays have even very well succeeded. The great art consists to
make it at*once compact and light. It must be avowed that the greater
part of ours have issued from the pot heavy, of a desperate solidity
(solidite desesperante), almost as the bullets of cannon. Slight indigestions
have followed, but hitherto without serious results. _ The morsels of
suet have a taste of grease, at first displeasing, and remain long to you in
the teeth ; but we shall reconcile ourselves to this as to other novelties.

" For me, who am of a reflective spirit, the event has appeared of a
range difficult to calculate (d'tcnepiortee difficile a calculer). May these
bullets, so succulent, be the only ones that shall henceforth be
exchanged between the two great peoples of the future !

"All to thee, Thy Anatole."

Bearing the Market.—When Baring stands up for dealing in
Russian securities, it's clear he cares more for interest than principle.

The Best Substitute for Rags.—Bank-notes.