DOI issue:
July to December, 1854
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16614#0107
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 99
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
A Lover of Avon's Swan wishes to know whether we A Beginner had better leave off while he is safe. He
Jabosh.—in reply to your inquiries as to the period of
the siege of Troy, the weight of the Elephant that was
shot in Exeter Change, the amount of the imports and
exports in 1703, and other interesting historical queries,
we must refer vou to one of our Sunday contemporaries,
who, in his Notices to Correspondents, is steadily
reprinting (we trust under Mr. Moxon's sanction)
Haydn's '' Dictionary of Dates."
A Fiancee.—We think that he had a right to look
sulky, and had we been in his place, and you had said
so to us, we should have refused to stay to supper,
unless you had asked us very prettily indeed.
Amans Oper^e inquires whether " music " be really " the
food of love."—We do not know, but it always inspires
us with the love of food, as our correspondent shall
see if he will invite us to oysters after a Huguenots
night.
A Dodbter.—The Hebrew word means, in its primitive
signification, a carpet-bag, and is so used by the Tal-
mudists. But by gradual deduction, it has now come
to mean Spanish liquorice, and you can interpret it in
whichever sense is least inconvenient to your feelings.
The Bishop of London and the Puseyites take the first
meaning, and therefore travel with portmanteaus only.
The Independents and the Irvingites take the second,
and, when they have coughs, will eat only horehound
and alicampane. But, after all, what does anything
mean? Words, if spoken, are but air, and what is
the air ? Oxygen, nitrogen, and a little carbonic acid
gas. Will you be slave to a chemist's bottle?
Jocular.—We must decline "dressing up " your " funny
anecdote " about the old bachelor who was so averse to
making a declaration, that when he became a bankrupt
he would not declare a dividend. We receive tons of
such "jokes " every week, to the great advancement
of our credit at the cheesemonger's.
Philidor Juvknis.—The white king may not castle at
chess, the black only having that privilege, by the new
■ rule of the Paris club. While the white knight is on
a black square, a pawn must not take him, and the
same rule applies with the black knight on a white
square. At the Palace, and in the highest circles, it is
not etiquette for a bishop to give check to the queen,
hut this rule is not of universal adoption.
Miss Angelica S. N. puts a difficult question. Her
elder sister is engaged, but Angelica, on calm reflec-
tion, thinks that the young man would suit her better
than the present object ot his affections. She is solely
guided by a view to her sister's happiness, and wishes
to know how to break off the proposed match, and
secure the gentleman for herself, without causing any
unpleasantness in the family.—We will think over it—
meantime, as Angelica is invited to spend a month in
Paris, by all means let her go.
V. L. P.'s obliging offer to give us some " smart satirical
shows-up" of the "would-be genteel people" among
the lawyers and tradesfolk of .his town (in Montgomery-
shire) is declined without thanks.
A White Lily—Indeed, Miss, we shall not tell you
where the best rouge is to be bought. But we will
tell you where it is to be got for nothing, and that
is in Kensington Gardens, from 8 to 10 a.m., but you
must go every morning, walk briskly, and think over
passages in your Punch.
Gracchus wishes to serve his country in some way which
will bring him into notoriety, but he has conscientious
objections to fighting. We respect his ambition and
his scruples, and will endeavour to meet both. Let
him make his way into Russia, penetrate to St. Peters-
burg, and paste the last twenty of our large cuts along
the front of the Palace on the Neva, with explanations
in the Russian language. We undertake to give, from
the St. Petersburg Gazette, a faithful account of his
execution.
William Cranky inquires whether, as we are at war,
the Postmaster General is obliged to read all the
letters that are put into the post-ofiices before he allows
them to be forwarded.—Such is the rule, but there is,
we regret to say, an aristocratic evasion of it. Lord
Canning reads only the sealed letters, Mr. Rowland
Hill peruses all with adhesive envelopes, while the
watered ones are examined by Mr. Tilly. Copies of
all letters are made, and Lord Palmeeston keeps
them under his seat in the House of Commons, in order
to be ready to answer questions about them. The
number is about 360 millions a year.
A Young Wife has got into a scrape through taking the
advice of a female pretended friend, who is now dis-
covered to be deceitful, and who persuaded her to run in
debt at a milliner's, unknown to her husband, who
has always been very kind. The milliner presses for
money. The friend advises her being kept quiet out
of the next cheque for housekeeping, and offers to
mayiage the casting-up the bills.—We advise the wife
to tell her husband what she has told us, and to add
that we command him not to be angry with her, and
we also advise that " not at home" be the answer for
the future whenever the " friend " calls.
Horatius (Southend) inquires whether there is any
companion work to the Whole Duty of Man, entitled
the Whole Duty of Woman. We are not aware of it,
but the latter might be described in a single word-
Buttons
can tell him the name of the sailor's wife who had
chesnuts in her cap, and ate them in such an unlady-
like manner. We have written to Sir James Graham,
the First Lord of the Admiralty, and he. has made Mr.
Bernal Osborne search the records of the Navy for
us. The woman's husband was Master of the Tiger,
and he went to Aleppo, in the year 972, that of Dun-
can's murder. He was much distressed on the voyage
for want of sleep. His name was Thomas Jones, and
his wife's Christian name, as appears by her signature
asks us a poetical conundrum founded upon an Irish
Melody : " Why is a retired doctor like hearts that once
beat high for praise? Because he feels the pulse no
more."
Jesuiticus Dramaticus says that he is convinced that
the Stage is a mischievous institution, and that to
encourage it with money would be wrong. But he
thinks there can be no harm in going to the theatre
with an order, and therefore asks us to forward him
one. If he will come to the corner of Bride Court, on
to the receipt for his pay, was SARAn. i Monday morning next, at ten o'clock, he can wait there
Matilda is in service, ana complains that because one of
the daughters of the house is named Matilda, the
mistress insists on the domestic being called Anne.
A young attorney's clerk, who lodges in the attics
until we send the order out to him, unless the police
remove him.
Dentifrice.—We believe that diamond dust makes very
good tooth-powder. Any respectable jeweller will give
says she can bring an action against the lady fur , vou a pint or so on your applying civilly, or you may
taking away her good name.—We recommend a com-! get it from the Keeper of the Crown Jewels, at the
promise : let our fair correspondent withdraw her | Tower, for a small fee. Saturating the powder with
Matilda, and the lady her Anne, and let the daughter . Cod liver oil (pale), makes the friction more pleasant,
and the clerk be joint referees and settle on a third I . _ _ .,
name for her-say Arabella, or Sal. i A..S.S. writes on behalf of himself and some friends who
„ . . „ - ■ i , , ,„ nave had a dispute as to the ceremony of presentation
Lord Frederic B— is informed that we do not settle at Court.—It is simple. After rising from your knee,
sporting queries, but that webehevethe length of the staud oat in the cird and pein.ce albert (whose
course on winch the Derby is run is eighteen miles d taste is ceIebrated) notices aay portion of the
and a half, and that no competing horse must he over dres3 of the presented partv, lady or gentleman, which
fifteen years of age. When it is said a horse " loses a he sees pleases Her Majesty. H.R.H. inquires
plate, it means that he has not won the cup vase, or where u was D0Uf?ht. It is etiquette to be prepared
whatever the prize piece of plate may he. A handicap with cards of all the tradesmen who have furnished
is so called from its being easy to put on and take off.
your attire, and you hand in the proper one to the Mis-
A Stunner sends us some sketches which he calls tress of the Robes, mentioning the price. Then you
" suggestions for sea-side shirts." We have an ohjec- | pass on. The cards not used are the perquisite of the
tion, ourselves, to wearing pictorial linen, hut, for the i Bishop of London.
benefit of enterprising manufacturers, we will mention : Two Little Periwinkles—Not ladylike, hut not de-
that our correspondent desires the Brighton shirt to j serving the harsh censure and chastisement you
hear a large view of the Pavilion ; the Margate gar- t describe. On another occasion, when you see a young
ment a neat representation ot the old jetty with the respectable nobleman walking past your window, and
new one crawling over it; while the article for use at ' vou desire to make his acquaintance, throw something
Heme Bay is to sluw a pier about three miles long, ; more graceful than a coal at him to attract his atten-
with a single plethoric policeman at the end of the \ tion. Your mamma and papa maybe too exacting, but
vista. The effect would certainly be very snobbish, ' remember your duty, and if you make faces in reply to
but not more so than the horses, foul anchors, dancers, , their strictures, never do so while the servant is in'the
sculls, and cricket tools, still admired by gents. room. It is small matters that make the lady.
A Proud Young Mother is informed that Mr. Punch j J. Flamark (Penzance).—You are perfectly right in say-
never stands godfather to any darling whatever, no: ing that the bolting of any one out prevents his bolting
matter how angelic and unparalleled. The Royal; in—that the purchasing on tick is frequently tic doulou-
children are the exception to this rule, and are so, be- ; reux—that there is nothing so touchy as touch-paper—
cause in standing sponsor at the Palace, he is simply and that Nicholas makes his nobles "bleed" to pro-
discharging one of his functions as an institution of the ' vide the "sinews" of war, and the observations do
country.
Sophia's handwriting is about the worst we ever saw, not
even excepting that of our own contributors. We do
not profess to judge characters from autographs, but
since Sophia insists, we should say that she was cross,
idle, selfwilled, and uninformed, had red hair, wore
her dresses badly made, slapped her little brothers and
sisters, and came down to breakfast with her red hair
in curl papers. To her inquiry whether we think she
would make a happy wife, we reply that we don't know,
but we think she would decidedly make an unhappy
husband.
Particeps Criminis helped to steal a sausage-roll from a
pastrycook's shop in the year 1827, when he, P. C, was
a little boy. He has been haunted by remorse ever
since, and desires us to suggest some penance for his
crime. We submit that with his present advanced
views of what is nasty, he had better steal another, and
eat it.
Indefatigable.—It is not ungrammatical to say " him
and me see them as they was a coming," but it is more
houour to your head and heart. Could you oblige us
again ?
Adeline.—You must return either his affection or his
presents, but we cannot advise you as to which you
should do, unless we know what the latter are worth.
Do not be in a hurry. A marriage licence costs two
pounds fifteen, a divorce a thousand pounds. Draw
your own inference.
William Sawbuncle.—With practice and study we
have no doubt that you will become the first poet of the
day. But you have not yet attained that distinction,
although your verses are very sweet and pretty. The
following—all we have room for—breathe a natural
spirit of chastened affectionateness :
"Hid me quaff the cup ofp(o)ison,
Bid me seek the deadly Upas,
But I still must keep my eyes on
You, my radiant fair, tohen you pass!
Hurl me from the height of Snowdon,
Dash me from Plinlymmori s brow,
Still I'll bellow as I go down,
elegant to frame the sentence differently, and we doubt That I love you then as now."
the accuracy of your assertion that the phrase as above ,r »T -n „ •_ „e x,„:___„„.„.„:,«
is to be found in Mb Macaiilay's Historv of England (Mary Maria Margaret.—Despair of being married?
is to be found m Mr. macaulay s History ot England. Don,t be such a uule siUy Tmrty.0even las* Decem-
Joculus Esuriens.—We believe there is such a hook,
but its more ppoper title would have been "Jokes I
Ought to have put a Pen Through."
A Miserable Wife had better have signed herself " A
ber, and no offers. What of that? Perhaps you may
may have thirty-seven offers before next December!
What are you like ? Send us your picture, and par-
ticulars as to the amount of your fortune. We '11
justly punished Offender." She deserves to lose her take care of you. Bless you. Not be married ! Bosh!
husband's affection if she gives him such dinners as Bah! Bo!
she describes. He allows her plenty of_ housekeeping Questioner (Margate).—The Buddhists are a sect of
money, and yet she is weak and criminal enough to
expect that he will come home to mutton chops, alter-
nated by steaks. The plea that she lives in a large
house, and that the servants have quite enough to do
Oriental religionists who offer the buds of roses, and
other flowers, as sacrifices. The Anabaptists are so
called from their founder, Anna Bapter, who died
1729. The Pasdobaptists, take their name from pedes
withou ttheir time being taken up in " finikin' cooking " | (Lat.) " feet," because they stamp with their feet during
(as the coarse-minded woman puts it,) is almost worse . service time. We never heard of the other sect you
than the offence. We hope that her husband will con- I mention, the Humguffins, hut no doubt truth and error
tinue to accept every invitation he receives, besides are mingled in their teaching.
dining at his club when not asked elsewhere, until the. Communications Received.-X. V. Y. (we should
woman buys a cookerybook^^aaM^wmdl^^'^ " rather ").-Modest Jane (hit him
the business to which she bound herself at the altar. again).-Q0iE8 (you may play the trumpet all night
Nabob.—We are not sure that we quite understand the if you like).—Unhappy Selina (if you don't like fat,
legal question as you state it. Is it thus?_ Your wny eat it?)—Lord Malmesbury (Tunis is not in
grandfather, having no right to a house, devised it to his
uncle-in-law, in trust for the direct heirs of his cousin,
with remainder over to the collateral representatives
of his father, who died without issue. So far all is
clear. But levying the fine and suing out the super-
negit would not have barred the outstanding term, and
given the certificate in bankruptcy the force of an
escheat in tail male, unless you or your father, had
Mexico).—Bifrons (wear the grey front when he is at
home, the brown one when he is gone to business).—
Telescope (Uranus is of a bluish white colour, and
its diameter is 35,865 miles—if you are going there,
give our love).—Angelica (in sticking the hook
through the worm beware of pricking your fingers).—
Alexander Bean Lean (a bathing machine, No. 7,
hardly an address to give). — Lars Porsenna
ejected the rightful owner, and caused his tenants to (the Nine Gods—the Dii Mojores—were Hercules,
attorn. The fact that you tried to do this, and were | plutarch, Jupiter, Halicarnassus, Apollo, Phce-
kicked out of the house, is not a material fact in the BtJSi Poseidon, Neptune, and Cornelius NeposX—
case. Consult a notary public. Pater (some people would give anything for a set
Colonel Sibthorp.—The joke about a pear (pair) being ! of Punch from the beginning).—Aris (get out with
two pears has been made before 1 you).
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
A Lover of Avon's Swan wishes to know whether we A Beginner had better leave off while he is safe. He
Jabosh.—in reply to your inquiries as to the period of
the siege of Troy, the weight of the Elephant that was
shot in Exeter Change, the amount of the imports and
exports in 1703, and other interesting historical queries,
we must refer vou to one of our Sunday contemporaries,
who, in his Notices to Correspondents, is steadily
reprinting (we trust under Mr. Moxon's sanction)
Haydn's '' Dictionary of Dates."
A Fiancee.—We think that he had a right to look
sulky, and had we been in his place, and you had said
so to us, we should have refused to stay to supper,
unless you had asked us very prettily indeed.
Amans Oper^e inquires whether " music " be really " the
food of love."—We do not know, but it always inspires
us with the love of food, as our correspondent shall
see if he will invite us to oysters after a Huguenots
night.
A Dodbter.—The Hebrew word means, in its primitive
signification, a carpet-bag, and is so used by the Tal-
mudists. But by gradual deduction, it has now come
to mean Spanish liquorice, and you can interpret it in
whichever sense is least inconvenient to your feelings.
The Bishop of London and the Puseyites take the first
meaning, and therefore travel with portmanteaus only.
The Independents and the Irvingites take the second,
and, when they have coughs, will eat only horehound
and alicampane. But, after all, what does anything
mean? Words, if spoken, are but air, and what is
the air ? Oxygen, nitrogen, and a little carbonic acid
gas. Will you be slave to a chemist's bottle?
Jocular.—We must decline "dressing up " your " funny
anecdote " about the old bachelor who was so averse to
making a declaration, that when he became a bankrupt
he would not declare a dividend. We receive tons of
such "jokes " every week, to the great advancement
of our credit at the cheesemonger's.
Philidor Juvknis.—The white king may not castle at
chess, the black only having that privilege, by the new
■ rule of the Paris club. While the white knight is on
a black square, a pawn must not take him, and the
same rule applies with the black knight on a white
square. At the Palace, and in the highest circles, it is
not etiquette for a bishop to give check to the queen,
hut this rule is not of universal adoption.
Miss Angelica S. N. puts a difficult question. Her
elder sister is engaged, but Angelica, on calm reflec-
tion, thinks that the young man would suit her better
than the present object ot his affections. She is solely
guided by a view to her sister's happiness, and wishes
to know how to break off the proposed match, and
secure the gentleman for herself, without causing any
unpleasantness in the family.—We will think over it—
meantime, as Angelica is invited to spend a month in
Paris, by all means let her go.
V. L. P.'s obliging offer to give us some " smart satirical
shows-up" of the "would-be genteel people" among
the lawyers and tradesfolk of .his town (in Montgomery-
shire) is declined without thanks.
A White Lily—Indeed, Miss, we shall not tell you
where the best rouge is to be bought. But we will
tell you where it is to be got for nothing, and that
is in Kensington Gardens, from 8 to 10 a.m., but you
must go every morning, walk briskly, and think over
passages in your Punch.
Gracchus wishes to serve his country in some way which
will bring him into notoriety, but he has conscientious
objections to fighting. We respect his ambition and
his scruples, and will endeavour to meet both. Let
him make his way into Russia, penetrate to St. Peters-
burg, and paste the last twenty of our large cuts along
the front of the Palace on the Neva, with explanations
in the Russian language. We undertake to give, from
the St. Petersburg Gazette, a faithful account of his
execution.
William Cranky inquires whether, as we are at war,
the Postmaster General is obliged to read all the
letters that are put into the post-ofiices before he allows
them to be forwarded.—Such is the rule, but there is,
we regret to say, an aristocratic evasion of it. Lord
Canning reads only the sealed letters, Mr. Rowland
Hill peruses all with adhesive envelopes, while the
watered ones are examined by Mr. Tilly. Copies of
all letters are made, and Lord Palmeeston keeps
them under his seat in the House of Commons, in order
to be ready to answer questions about them. The
number is about 360 millions a year.
A Young Wife has got into a scrape through taking the
advice of a female pretended friend, who is now dis-
covered to be deceitful, and who persuaded her to run in
debt at a milliner's, unknown to her husband, who
has always been very kind. The milliner presses for
money. The friend advises her being kept quiet out
of the next cheque for housekeeping, and offers to
mayiage the casting-up the bills.—We advise the wife
to tell her husband what she has told us, and to add
that we command him not to be angry with her, and
we also advise that " not at home" be the answer for
the future whenever the " friend " calls.
Horatius (Southend) inquires whether there is any
companion work to the Whole Duty of Man, entitled
the Whole Duty of Woman. We are not aware of it,
but the latter might be described in a single word-
Buttons
can tell him the name of the sailor's wife who had
chesnuts in her cap, and ate them in such an unlady-
like manner. We have written to Sir James Graham,
the First Lord of the Admiralty, and he. has made Mr.
Bernal Osborne search the records of the Navy for
us. The woman's husband was Master of the Tiger,
and he went to Aleppo, in the year 972, that of Dun-
can's murder. He was much distressed on the voyage
for want of sleep. His name was Thomas Jones, and
his wife's Christian name, as appears by her signature
asks us a poetical conundrum founded upon an Irish
Melody : " Why is a retired doctor like hearts that once
beat high for praise? Because he feels the pulse no
more."
Jesuiticus Dramaticus says that he is convinced that
the Stage is a mischievous institution, and that to
encourage it with money would be wrong. But he
thinks there can be no harm in going to the theatre
with an order, and therefore asks us to forward him
one. If he will come to the corner of Bride Court, on
to the receipt for his pay, was SARAn. i Monday morning next, at ten o'clock, he can wait there
Matilda is in service, ana complains that because one of
the daughters of the house is named Matilda, the
mistress insists on the domestic being called Anne.
A young attorney's clerk, who lodges in the attics
until we send the order out to him, unless the police
remove him.
Dentifrice.—We believe that diamond dust makes very
good tooth-powder. Any respectable jeweller will give
says she can bring an action against the lady fur , vou a pint or so on your applying civilly, or you may
taking away her good name.—We recommend a com-! get it from the Keeper of the Crown Jewels, at the
promise : let our fair correspondent withdraw her | Tower, for a small fee. Saturating the powder with
Matilda, and the lady her Anne, and let the daughter . Cod liver oil (pale), makes the friction more pleasant,
and the clerk be joint referees and settle on a third I . _ _ .,
name for her-say Arabella, or Sal. i A..S.S. writes on behalf of himself and some friends who
„ . . „ - ■ i , , ,„ nave had a dispute as to the ceremony of presentation
Lord Frederic B— is informed that we do not settle at Court.—It is simple. After rising from your knee,
sporting queries, but that webehevethe length of the staud oat in the cird and pein.ce albert (whose
course on winch the Derby is run is eighteen miles d taste is ceIebrated) notices aay portion of the
and a half, and that no competing horse must he over dres3 of the presented partv, lady or gentleman, which
fifteen years of age. When it is said a horse " loses a he sees pleases Her Majesty. H.R.H. inquires
plate, it means that he has not won the cup vase, or where u was D0Uf?ht. It is etiquette to be prepared
whatever the prize piece of plate may he. A handicap with cards of all the tradesmen who have furnished
is so called from its being easy to put on and take off.
your attire, and you hand in the proper one to the Mis-
A Stunner sends us some sketches which he calls tress of the Robes, mentioning the price. Then you
" suggestions for sea-side shirts." We have an ohjec- | pass on. The cards not used are the perquisite of the
tion, ourselves, to wearing pictorial linen, hut, for the i Bishop of London.
benefit of enterprising manufacturers, we will mention : Two Little Periwinkles—Not ladylike, hut not de-
that our correspondent desires the Brighton shirt to j serving the harsh censure and chastisement you
hear a large view of the Pavilion ; the Margate gar- t describe. On another occasion, when you see a young
ment a neat representation ot the old jetty with the respectable nobleman walking past your window, and
new one crawling over it; while the article for use at ' vou desire to make his acquaintance, throw something
Heme Bay is to sluw a pier about three miles long, ; more graceful than a coal at him to attract his atten-
with a single plethoric policeman at the end of the \ tion. Your mamma and papa maybe too exacting, but
vista. The effect would certainly be very snobbish, ' remember your duty, and if you make faces in reply to
but not more so than the horses, foul anchors, dancers, , their strictures, never do so while the servant is in'the
sculls, and cricket tools, still admired by gents. room. It is small matters that make the lady.
A Proud Young Mother is informed that Mr. Punch j J. Flamark (Penzance).—You are perfectly right in say-
never stands godfather to any darling whatever, no: ing that the bolting of any one out prevents his bolting
matter how angelic and unparalleled. The Royal; in—that the purchasing on tick is frequently tic doulou-
children are the exception to this rule, and are so, be- ; reux—that there is nothing so touchy as touch-paper—
cause in standing sponsor at the Palace, he is simply and that Nicholas makes his nobles "bleed" to pro-
discharging one of his functions as an institution of the ' vide the "sinews" of war, and the observations do
country.
Sophia's handwriting is about the worst we ever saw, not
even excepting that of our own contributors. We do
not profess to judge characters from autographs, but
since Sophia insists, we should say that she was cross,
idle, selfwilled, and uninformed, had red hair, wore
her dresses badly made, slapped her little brothers and
sisters, and came down to breakfast with her red hair
in curl papers. To her inquiry whether we think she
would make a happy wife, we reply that we don't know,
but we think she would decidedly make an unhappy
husband.
Particeps Criminis helped to steal a sausage-roll from a
pastrycook's shop in the year 1827, when he, P. C, was
a little boy. He has been haunted by remorse ever
since, and desires us to suggest some penance for his
crime. We submit that with his present advanced
views of what is nasty, he had better steal another, and
eat it.
Indefatigable.—It is not ungrammatical to say " him
and me see them as they was a coming," but it is more
houour to your head and heart. Could you oblige us
again ?
Adeline.—You must return either his affection or his
presents, but we cannot advise you as to which you
should do, unless we know what the latter are worth.
Do not be in a hurry. A marriage licence costs two
pounds fifteen, a divorce a thousand pounds. Draw
your own inference.
William Sawbuncle.—With practice and study we
have no doubt that you will become the first poet of the
day. But you have not yet attained that distinction,
although your verses are very sweet and pretty. The
following—all we have room for—breathe a natural
spirit of chastened affectionateness :
"Hid me quaff the cup ofp(o)ison,
Bid me seek the deadly Upas,
But I still must keep my eyes on
You, my radiant fair, tohen you pass!
Hurl me from the height of Snowdon,
Dash me from Plinlymmori s brow,
Still I'll bellow as I go down,
elegant to frame the sentence differently, and we doubt That I love you then as now."
the accuracy of your assertion that the phrase as above ,r »T -n „ •_ „e x,„:___„„.„.„:,«
is to be found in Mb Macaiilay's Historv of England (Mary Maria Margaret.—Despair of being married?
is to be found m Mr. macaulay s History ot England. Don,t be such a uule siUy Tmrty.0even las* Decem-
Joculus Esuriens.—We believe there is such a hook,
but its more ppoper title would have been "Jokes I
Ought to have put a Pen Through."
A Miserable Wife had better have signed herself " A
ber, and no offers. What of that? Perhaps you may
may have thirty-seven offers before next December!
What are you like ? Send us your picture, and par-
ticulars as to the amount of your fortune. We '11
justly punished Offender." She deserves to lose her take care of you. Bless you. Not be married ! Bosh!
husband's affection if she gives him such dinners as Bah! Bo!
she describes. He allows her plenty of_ housekeeping Questioner (Margate).—The Buddhists are a sect of
money, and yet she is weak and criminal enough to
expect that he will come home to mutton chops, alter-
nated by steaks. The plea that she lives in a large
house, and that the servants have quite enough to do
Oriental religionists who offer the buds of roses, and
other flowers, as sacrifices. The Anabaptists are so
called from their founder, Anna Bapter, who died
1729. The Pasdobaptists, take their name from pedes
withou ttheir time being taken up in " finikin' cooking " | (Lat.) " feet," because they stamp with their feet during
(as the coarse-minded woman puts it,) is almost worse . service time. We never heard of the other sect you
than the offence. We hope that her husband will con- I mention, the Humguffins, hut no doubt truth and error
tinue to accept every invitation he receives, besides are mingled in their teaching.
dining at his club when not asked elsewhere, until the. Communications Received.-X. V. Y. (we should
woman buys a cookerybook^^aaM^wmdl^^'^ " rather ").-Modest Jane (hit him
the business to which she bound herself at the altar. again).-Q0iE8 (you may play the trumpet all night
Nabob.—We are not sure that we quite understand the if you like).—Unhappy Selina (if you don't like fat,
legal question as you state it. Is it thus?_ Your wny eat it?)—Lord Malmesbury (Tunis is not in
grandfather, having no right to a house, devised it to his
uncle-in-law, in trust for the direct heirs of his cousin,
with remainder over to the collateral representatives
of his father, who died without issue. So far all is
clear. But levying the fine and suing out the super-
negit would not have barred the outstanding term, and
given the certificate in bankruptcy the force of an
escheat in tail male, unless you or your father, had
Mexico).—Bifrons (wear the grey front when he is at
home, the brown one when he is gone to business).—
Telescope (Uranus is of a bluish white colour, and
its diameter is 35,865 miles—if you are going there,
give our love).—Angelica (in sticking the hook
through the worm beware of pricking your fingers).—
Alexander Bean Lean (a bathing machine, No. 7,
hardly an address to give). — Lars Porsenna
ejected the rightful owner, and caused his tenants to (the Nine Gods—the Dii Mojores—were Hercules,
attorn. The fact that you tried to do this, and were | plutarch, Jupiter, Halicarnassus, Apollo, Phce-
kicked out of the house, is not a material fact in the BtJSi Poseidon, Neptune, and Cornelius NeposX—
case. Consult a notary public. Pater (some people would give anything for a set
Colonel Sibthorp.—The joke about a pear (pair) being ! of Punch from the beginning).—Aris (get out with
two pears has been made before 1 you).