DOI issue:
July 14, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0032
20
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 14, 1855.
further advise the prisoner 1o keep quiet, and not to shake his fist at
the witness. By such conduct, the prisoner will certainly not benefit
his case.
Old Time proceeded. He had long put up with the ill-conduct of the
prisoner, but of late the persecution had been intolerable. Here Mr.
Old Time showed an hour-glass,—aud observed that in consequence of
the wishy-washy sentences of the prisoner, with his drizzling showers of
words, the sand in the hour-glass had become so damp and clogged
together, that, let the glass be shaken as it might, the sand would not
run sparklingly, as was its wont in a fine, dry, sunny atmosphere. The
witness further exhibited a scythe ; and called the attention of the
worthy magistrate to the jagged condition of its edge. "Yes, jour
worship," said Ttme, with some emotion, " it was in general as nice
and keen a blade as any man might mow seconds, minutes, hours, days,
and years with—light grass and heavy—and now look at it. The
prisoner at the bar has absolutely talked all these notches in it. And
he will do it, and while he goes on talking, you can't think how tough
a job he makes it to get through an hour or two."
Magistrate. Have you any further complaint against the prisoner?
Old Time. Why, yes, your worship, I should think I had. Twice
within this last fortnight has the prisoner at the bar beat me so cruelly
about the skull with an Irish shillelah, a weapon loaded with lead, and
cut from the groves, not of Blarney, but of Maynooth, that I know not
whether I'm on my head or my heels. What's more, fhe prisoner
isn't content to ill-use me himself, but he sets on a score more folks
to clog up my sand and notch my scythe.
The worthy Magistrate asked the prisoner, what he had to say in
his defence ?
The prisoner began in his old strain, when—
Time, whipping up his hour-glass, and taking his scythe over his
shoulder, rushed out of the court. He merely observed, that he would
leave his case in the hands of Public Opinion.
Public Opinion observed, he did not wish to press severely upon
the prisoner, but said he must ask for bail to protect Old Time against
a repetition of such assaults for the future.
The prisoner sent for several friends—Mr. Newdegate, Colonel
Sibthorpe, and others—but when our reporter left the court no bail
had arrived. At that time, it just wanted ten minutes of the Van, and
Old Time was seen looking round the corner, with a jocund eye upon
his hour-glass.
PUNCH'S ILLUSTRATIONS TO SHAKSPEARE
" I have seen the ambitious Oceau swell."
our putube contemporaries.
It is with feelings of pride mingled with no little pleasure that we notice the growing
moustache ot our respected Beadle. It is of a light straw colour, not altogether unlike
Julius Ccesar Act i. Scene 3. > tow, only much silkier in its appearance. As the moustache is not more than two weeks'
I old, it would be rather premature as yet to judge of the effect, but when it has attained
__, its full growth, we candidly think that it will add materially to the dignified aspect of
our worthy functionary. We regret to state, however, that the hoys of the neighbour-
■ hood do not treat the improvement with that marked respect, which an old constituted
CRUEL ASSAULT ON AVERY OLD GENTLEMAN. authority, like the Beadle, is proudly entitled to, hut our regret is agreeably lessened
by the philosophic reflection, that boys at all times will be boys.— The Pentonville Penny
Yesterday, Richard Spooner—who gave his addresses 0, Man- FatrwL
Chester-buildings, Carlton Club, and Birmingham-was charged at 0n Thursday last as Mrs Crochet's Seminary^forYoung Ladies was passing the
t-, , , ■°.> • » ' , , 53 , i ° • , Rev. Dr. Switch Kane s Academy for Young Gentlemen, we noticed that some of
Bow-Street Wlttl a series ot cruel attacks upon an extremely ancient the elder boys (who, judging from their straps and stand-up collars, were certainly of
and venerably green old gentleman, who gave his name—ChRONOS; an age to know better) laughed, made faces, and winked at the tallest of the young
Vulgarly known as old TlME. The accused refused all legal assist- ladies- Such conduct in the high road is, to say the very least, highly reprehensible
anee althnriP-h his friends had in the kindest manner ensured the and extremely indecorous, and we hope that the young offerders received, when they
ance, aiinOUgn niS irienas oaa, in me Kindest manner, ens urea ine returned to Arma-Virumque House, that salutary punishment which their shameless
Valuable services Ot JViR. parry. behaviour so glaringly deserved.— The Hammersmith Fly and Brentford Bluebottle.
Mr. Public Opinion said, that he appeared with great pain against if the Thames could be cleaned there is but tittle doubt that it would soon be crowded,
the prisoner, a person who had certainly moved—no, he COuld not say as in the days of our Saxon ancestors, with fish of all sorts. Let the water be as pure
moved, for move, at least forward, he would not, but who Stood Still— as u was two thousand years ago, and we should in all probability be able to venture
in a resneetahle eirele nf sneietv but there were linmnn interests eall out to Lambeth pier, catch our salmon, or young trout, and return home to have it
in a respeciaoie Circle or SOCiery , DUt mere were iinrnan interests Call- cooked for breakfast.-John Brown's Political and Literary Hdporth of All Sorts.
ing tor protection, and, however painful to himself, he must press the , „. . ^ . , „ . ,. . . .. . . ■..
charo-p ao-ainst the prisoner whose reneafed aftaeks rmon Mt? (Tmiroirn«! Wbat are a11 the flags of Eur0Pe but so many Pleces of bunting, stained m iniquity
enarge against r,ne prisoner, wnose repeated attacks upon iur. uhronos, of every possible dye ? We vai„e them at so low a figure, our own Flag not excepted,
Otherwise old TlME, had of late become past all human endurance, that we should be sorry to give a new cotton pocket-handkerchief in exchange for any
It was not to be thought of, that SO respectable an individual as old one of them.— The Manchester Gridiron andSalford Pepper Box.
TlME—a person SO valuable, nay SO vital to the interests of society— Kitchen Stuff has risen within the last week as much as a halfpenny a pound, and
should be left at the mercy of the prisoner, especially as the offender we have beeu informed of one transaction alone, at Pimlico, by which the lucky holder
had so frequently shown himself incapable of any consideration of the
venerable complainant. , , . .
Mn n,,,,™^ „7,„„ rw^ rpT,r„ V,___„„_j tt -j u „i. When will the superior classes think of encouraging our native products i is it not
MR. ClIRONOS, alias old IlME, here stood forward. He said that, a shame tQ our pal£pered aristocracy, that our celebrated Chelsea Bun is not more
tor many, many years he had been more Or less abused in public by the patronised than it is ?—The Battersea Battle-axe and Chelsea Penny Trumpet of Universal
prisoner. Of late, however, the conduct of the prisoner had become Freedom.
OUtrageOUS. The complainant said, he Should not SO much mind being Ten Shillings Reward have been offered for the discovery of the miscreant, who pla-
killed Outright. There were, he knew, thousands of well-to-do people carded the Reverend Mr. Love Bird's Chapel of Comfort and Ease all over with the
of both scx:es in "London who had no other thono-ht than to Ml him to bills of tlle Dyin*? Swan !?a!°on. announcing amongst other profane monstrosities, that
01 DOU1 SCXes in uonaon wno naa no Otaer UlOUgUt tnan tO Kill mm, TO Mr_ JoH!} CooPEB wouid sing the" Ratcatcher's Daughter" incharacter.-TAe Olapham
wbicii end tney so often tired at him, though m vain, with gold and silver whitechoker (Edited by Jabez Pecksniff, Esq.)
bullets,—but to be droned, mumbled to death, was past all bearing, and__,
(here the venerable witness became a little excited)—and by Styx he
would not stand it! A Ship that Ought to be Put Under a Glass Shade.
tieae the prisoner, with the coolest and most confident air, begged to
call the attention cf the Magistrate to the conduct of the witness. He We see, and we never should have believed it unless we had seen it,
had sworn, and swearing was fitieable. The prisoner (who had no that there is a transport of the name of the Earl of Aberdeen. The
■oilier motive, he said, than that of public morality) hoped that his discovery fairly took us by surprise, as we did not know that in the
worship would inflict the fine of five shillings. English mind the name of Aberdeen had ever given rise before to a
Magistrate to Complainant. Proceed with your statement. I would single transport.
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 14, 1855.
further advise the prisoner 1o keep quiet, and not to shake his fist at
the witness. By such conduct, the prisoner will certainly not benefit
his case.
Old Time proceeded. He had long put up with the ill-conduct of the
prisoner, but of late the persecution had been intolerable. Here Mr.
Old Time showed an hour-glass,—aud observed that in consequence of
the wishy-washy sentences of the prisoner, with his drizzling showers of
words, the sand in the hour-glass had become so damp and clogged
together, that, let the glass be shaken as it might, the sand would not
run sparklingly, as was its wont in a fine, dry, sunny atmosphere. The
witness further exhibited a scythe ; and called the attention of the
worthy magistrate to the jagged condition of its edge. "Yes, jour
worship," said Ttme, with some emotion, " it was in general as nice
and keen a blade as any man might mow seconds, minutes, hours, days,
and years with—light grass and heavy—and now look at it. The
prisoner at the bar has absolutely talked all these notches in it. And
he will do it, and while he goes on talking, you can't think how tough
a job he makes it to get through an hour or two."
Magistrate. Have you any further complaint against the prisoner?
Old Time. Why, yes, your worship, I should think I had. Twice
within this last fortnight has the prisoner at the bar beat me so cruelly
about the skull with an Irish shillelah, a weapon loaded with lead, and
cut from the groves, not of Blarney, but of Maynooth, that I know not
whether I'm on my head or my heels. What's more, fhe prisoner
isn't content to ill-use me himself, but he sets on a score more folks
to clog up my sand and notch my scythe.
The worthy Magistrate asked the prisoner, what he had to say in
his defence ?
The prisoner began in his old strain, when—
Time, whipping up his hour-glass, and taking his scythe over his
shoulder, rushed out of the court. He merely observed, that he would
leave his case in the hands of Public Opinion.
Public Opinion observed, he did not wish to press severely upon
the prisoner, but said he must ask for bail to protect Old Time against
a repetition of such assaults for the future.
The prisoner sent for several friends—Mr. Newdegate, Colonel
Sibthorpe, and others—but when our reporter left the court no bail
had arrived. At that time, it just wanted ten minutes of the Van, and
Old Time was seen looking round the corner, with a jocund eye upon
his hour-glass.
PUNCH'S ILLUSTRATIONS TO SHAKSPEARE
" I have seen the ambitious Oceau swell."
our putube contemporaries.
It is with feelings of pride mingled with no little pleasure that we notice the growing
moustache ot our respected Beadle. It is of a light straw colour, not altogether unlike
Julius Ccesar Act i. Scene 3. > tow, only much silkier in its appearance. As the moustache is not more than two weeks'
I old, it would be rather premature as yet to judge of the effect, but when it has attained
__, its full growth, we candidly think that it will add materially to the dignified aspect of
our worthy functionary. We regret to state, however, that the hoys of the neighbour-
■ hood do not treat the improvement with that marked respect, which an old constituted
CRUEL ASSAULT ON AVERY OLD GENTLEMAN. authority, like the Beadle, is proudly entitled to, hut our regret is agreeably lessened
by the philosophic reflection, that boys at all times will be boys.— The Pentonville Penny
Yesterday, Richard Spooner—who gave his addresses 0, Man- FatrwL
Chester-buildings, Carlton Club, and Birmingham-was charged at 0n Thursday last as Mrs Crochet's Seminary^forYoung Ladies was passing the
t-, , , ■°.> • » ' , , 53 , i ° • , Rev. Dr. Switch Kane s Academy for Young Gentlemen, we noticed that some of
Bow-Street Wlttl a series ot cruel attacks upon an extremely ancient the elder boys (who, judging from their straps and stand-up collars, were certainly of
and venerably green old gentleman, who gave his name—ChRONOS; an age to know better) laughed, made faces, and winked at the tallest of the young
Vulgarly known as old TlME. The accused refused all legal assist- ladies- Such conduct in the high road is, to say the very least, highly reprehensible
anee althnriP-h his friends had in the kindest manner ensured the and extremely indecorous, and we hope that the young offerders received, when they
ance, aiinOUgn niS irienas oaa, in me Kindest manner, ens urea ine returned to Arma-Virumque House, that salutary punishment which their shameless
Valuable services Ot JViR. parry. behaviour so glaringly deserved.— The Hammersmith Fly and Brentford Bluebottle.
Mr. Public Opinion said, that he appeared with great pain against if the Thames could be cleaned there is but tittle doubt that it would soon be crowded,
the prisoner, a person who had certainly moved—no, he COuld not say as in the days of our Saxon ancestors, with fish of all sorts. Let the water be as pure
moved, for move, at least forward, he would not, but who Stood Still— as u was two thousand years ago, and we should in all probability be able to venture
in a resneetahle eirele nf sneietv but there were linmnn interests eall out to Lambeth pier, catch our salmon, or young trout, and return home to have it
in a respeciaoie Circle or SOCiery , DUt mere were iinrnan interests Call- cooked for breakfast.-John Brown's Political and Literary Hdporth of All Sorts.
ing tor protection, and, however painful to himself, he must press the , „. . ^ . , „ . ,. . . .. . . ■..
charo-p ao-ainst the prisoner whose reneafed aftaeks rmon Mt? (Tmiroirn«! Wbat are a11 the flags of Eur0Pe but so many Pleces of bunting, stained m iniquity
enarge against r,ne prisoner, wnose repeated attacks upon iur. uhronos, of every possible dye ? We vai„e them at so low a figure, our own Flag not excepted,
Otherwise old TlME, had of late become past all human endurance, that we should be sorry to give a new cotton pocket-handkerchief in exchange for any
It was not to be thought of, that SO respectable an individual as old one of them.— The Manchester Gridiron andSalford Pepper Box.
TlME—a person SO valuable, nay SO vital to the interests of society— Kitchen Stuff has risen within the last week as much as a halfpenny a pound, and
should be left at the mercy of the prisoner, especially as the offender we have beeu informed of one transaction alone, at Pimlico, by which the lucky holder
had so frequently shown himself incapable of any consideration of the
venerable complainant. , , . .
Mn n,,,,™^ „7,„„ rw^ rpT,r„ V,___„„_j tt -j u „i. When will the superior classes think of encouraging our native products i is it not
MR. ClIRONOS, alias old IlME, here stood forward. He said that, a shame tQ our pal£pered aristocracy, that our celebrated Chelsea Bun is not more
tor many, many years he had been more Or less abused in public by the patronised than it is ?—The Battersea Battle-axe and Chelsea Penny Trumpet of Universal
prisoner. Of late, however, the conduct of the prisoner had become Freedom.
OUtrageOUS. The complainant said, he Should not SO much mind being Ten Shillings Reward have been offered for the discovery of the miscreant, who pla-
killed Outright. There were, he knew, thousands of well-to-do people carded the Reverend Mr. Love Bird's Chapel of Comfort and Ease all over with the
of both scx:es in "London who had no other thono-ht than to Ml him to bills of tlle Dyin*? Swan !?a!°on. announcing amongst other profane monstrosities, that
01 DOU1 SCXes in uonaon wno naa no Otaer UlOUgUt tnan tO Kill mm, TO Mr_ JoH!} CooPEB wouid sing the" Ratcatcher's Daughter" incharacter.-TAe Olapham
wbicii end tney so often tired at him, though m vain, with gold and silver whitechoker (Edited by Jabez Pecksniff, Esq.)
bullets,—but to be droned, mumbled to death, was past all bearing, and__,
(here the venerable witness became a little excited)—and by Styx he
would not stand it! A Ship that Ought to be Put Under a Glass Shade.
tieae the prisoner, with the coolest and most confident air, begged to
call the attention cf the Magistrate to the conduct of the witness. He We see, and we never should have believed it unless we had seen it,
had sworn, and swearing was fitieable. The prisoner (who had no that there is a transport of the name of the Earl of Aberdeen. The
■oilier motive, he said, than that of public morality) hoped that his discovery fairly took us by surprise, as we did not know that in the
worship would inflict the fine of five shillings. English mind the name of Aberdeen had ever given rise before to a
Magistrate to Complainant. Proceed with your statement. I would single transport.