Punch (29.1855)

July 14, 1855.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 21

LONG CLOTHES EXTRAORDINARY.

GROSS ATTEMPT AT IMPOSITION ON MEDICAL MEN.

O improve the human There are plenty of Members of the Medical Profession who would
iorm, in the an- oniy ^ too hgp^y T0 pav the aggravated Income Tax, or any Income
stracr, may or ^ax t^at ]ef>, tUPni any Income. _ Thanks to Mr. Headlam, Mr.
may not have Brady, and Mr. Craufurd, those individuals stand a very fair chance
been the glory of 0f Dejng subjected to an additional impost. This, however, will not be
the Greek sculp- ex^ct,ly an Income Tax. One condition, necessary to the constitution
tors. It is that 0f that tax, will be absent from this. In order to be liable to it, there
ot a modern ar- w{|i De n0 xjecessity that the subject should possess any income at all.
tist in another ^lie happy medical man will, if Mr. Hkadlam and his accomplices
material than succeed in their design, be fimd 20-5. for the mere permission to con-
marble. The r,inue attempfiiu? to earn uis bread. These men have brought in a bill
Morning Post "t0 alter and amend the law regulating the Medical Profession," of
contains the iol- -^vliicii one clause enacts, that all persons in lawful practice before the
lowing advertise- firs(; ^av 0f November next, shall he registered, on having their pockets
merit: j picked of one pound. After that date the rohbery is to amount to Ten

HE Empress's ! Pounds : and without submitting to this spoliation, they will be unable
to recover their charges, disqualified from holding appointments, and
accounted guilty of a misdemeanour in practising their profession.

War time—prices rising—likely to rise higher ! How fervently the
Poor Law Union Medical Officer, counting his patients by several
thousands, and his salary by very few tens, with a deduction for medicine
supplied, will bless Mr. Headlam and his confederates, for extracting
one more hardly-earned sovereign from his pocket next November, in
l case the plant, or scheme of abstraction, which they have planned,
We should j should prosper ! What benisons will Poor-Law Pilgarlic's wife invoke
hink so ; nay, it j upon the head of Headlam, by reason of the winter bonnet diverted,
the | Pe^}c°a^j in the shape of her husband's registration fee, from her own! Take
one pound from a pauper medical practitioner's income—you can't, as
the schoolboys say: one from noueht, nought; but Headlam and
Co. propose to work out the sum after November: when it will be,,
one from nought you can't, one from ten, nine, and carry one: and the
one "carried" will be added to the nine, to make ten—the figure, in
pounds, at which the medico-chirurgical starveling who has forgotten,,
or has been unable, to register himself at the comparatively petty-
larcenous imposition of 20,s. will then be plundered.

Why this enormous medical confiscation ? To provide oil, it would

.Iupk. — Mrs.
--invites the at-
tention of Udies to
her new Petticoats;
they odd grace and
elegance to the
figure, and have met
with universal admi-
ration.

simply allowed
the grace and
elegance of the
figure to be quite

"Some People's Geese are always Swans." visible, without

any addition, we

should expect that the admiration with which they would meet would
be completely catholic; and although we have not the privilege of be-
longing to the gentle sex, we would run some distance on the hottest.

day, to devote that attention which Mrs. What's-iier-name invites on tremendous' machinery which"will be created by

the part of the ladies, to her new Petticoats, in which Mrs. W. very fhe ed m . a Medical Council conjointly organised bv the united

likely exhibits at least alt the symmetry ot the Medicean Venus. Colleges of Physicians and Surgeons, the united universities of theUnited

Kingdom, and the Secretary of State. Tin's grand Council is to appoint
examiners in the three caoitals, "to examine candidates for medical
diplomas, preliminarily," in classics, the exact sciences, and general
literature. Under the la'ter head, of coutse, the pages of Punch will
be included—but if, a little more than a century ago, it had been neces-
sary for Surgeons to have been thus examined " meliminarily; " if, in
short, the age had been rendered illustrious by Mr. Headlam, would
it have had the advantage of possessing unclassical Mr. Huntfr?
The former philosopher, we find, further proposes, that while " Sur-

MRS. GRUNDY'S ADMINISTRATIVE REFORM.

Mrs. Grundy is about to set her house in order. So, after it has
been properly cleaned, and painted, and papered from top to bottom,
(which, of course, Mr. Grundy is to pay for), she is resolved, once and
for all, upon having quite a new system of things established and main-
tained in her establishment. She willno longer allow her house to be I ffeoVs7' rrn^t be^i year's oV^agTrthe^^staTutabirage of" Physicians

the scandal of the neighbourhood. The following are a few of the
Reforms she has set her heart upon :

shall be 26. Surely this wise man should likewise propose, that general
practitioners, inasmuch as they act in both capacities, shall be 22 plus
26, or 43. We thought, moreover, that the said Hunter, and sub-,

I. Hie door to be closed every night at eleven.. sequently another individual of the same sort, one Abehnetiiy, had.

II. The rmstress of the house to have the exclusive hiring of the oyerthr0wn the distinction between the science of "Surgery," and

IH. Nothing but cheese for supper! °i " Medicine "assumed in the bill of that very different sort of

iv at^ k«.ni r. t- ; fk- u 'j i n • individual the said Headlam.

IV. iNo more breakfasting in the bed-room—whether a person is T. . , -, , . , , . n. , ■ , n

ill or not! H, instead of harassing and plaguing medical men with fines, tor-

V. No more soda-water to be sent for early in the morning ' feitures, and vexatious formalities, Mr. Headlam would devote his

VI. The Page to be exchanged for a Eootman legislative abilities to the suppression of the traffic in patent medicines,

VII. The Footman to be not less than five feet six, and in livery of < he miSh1' s.erve botn tae Profession and the Public, by diminishing

course. starvation in the former, and poisoning among the latter. "But the

VIII. The children's dresses no longer to be paid for out of the house- tendency of his bill is to facilitate the sale of stamped specifics by lm-

keeping-money. peding the legitimate practice, of physic. By tlm bye, is Mr. Headlam

IX. Nothing hot to be brought up from the servants' dinner for tnR proprietor of any popular remedy ? Is Headlam the man, and.

luncheon in the parlour—not for anybody ! no matter who Holloway merely an alias ?

he may be ! _

X. The breakfast things to be taken away every morning precisely

Vr m,as J^ie ?loc\ strike.s Dme- An Extraordinary Question.

Al. lne Cook belore going to bed to bring up, every night, the „ „ , „ . . ,„

key of the Larder. | Ihe Morning Chronicle of the /th inst. puts the tollowmg exfra-

XII. The cribbage-board to be locked up on Sundays. ordinary question :—" What is the use of a Bishop ? "

XIII. No whistling allowed in the drawing-room. To this Mr. Punch readily makes answer—the use of a Bishop is to

XIV. No invitations to be henceforth accepted, unless the name of illustrate in the flesh the Christian virtues of humility and self-denial
Mrs. Grundy is included in them. at a various income, ranging from three to ten thousand pounds per

XV. Mr. Grundy, for the future, to pay for his own washing. annum. Moreover, there can be no doubt that all this is done, and very

XVI. All letters to be opened by Mrs. G., for Mr. Grundy should well done, at the money.

have, and moreover he says he has, no secrets from his wife _

—and if there are secrets iu those letters, he cannot object

to her sharing them with him. The Old "Favourite."— Our jocular Premier owns himself

ambitious to have a Name on the Turf. Would he like one which was

As soon as the above Preforms are earned, others of a still more rather famous there m its day, and which would seem just to suit

trm^ent nature are contemplated. him ? What does he say to Grey Momus ?