DOI issue:
August 25, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0092
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 25, 1855.
PITY FOR THE TOE.
Whilst, as patriots, we rejoice in the triumph of the
Allied arms at Sweaborg, as men we cannot but led com-
passion for that suffering by which it has been attended on
i he side of our opponents. Mr. Bright, Mk. Cobden, Sir
James Graham, Mr. Gladstone, and those who think
with them, that is to say the Greek firms, and the rest of
the philo-llussian party, have uo doubt severely felt the
misfortunes of their beloved country. We should be happy
'o suggest to them any consolation, if we could think of
any; and perhaps it may comfort them to reflect that,
although Sweaborg was demolished without the loss of a
British or a French life, it is probable that the capture of
Sena^topol will not be accomplished without heavy loss on
t he part of the Allies.
A'tacbnients may be not the less sincere because they are
unaccountable; and the gentlemen ab ve-mentioned may
have a predilection for liussia, just as it is conceivable that
they might be inclined to pet a boa-constrictor. 'Russia,
i-i.deed, is a boa—a great boa, a* the fine young gentlemen
say—rejoicing in the al'esed peculiarity of the amphisbcena,
or serpent with two heads, one head at each end. The
Russian amphisbcena has the superior head in the Baltic,
and the inferior in the Black Sea, and a body curled half
round Europe, which the northern mouth and the southern
have opened to swallowr. Either head of the snake, how-
ever, has been considerably bruised, and wre cannot help
expressing the hope that hoth will be smashed, however
sincerely the Peebles and Manchester friends of the reptile
may sympathise with its agouies.
Stout Party. ''Well, I'm sdre ! What can possess those skinny creatures to
wear Roond Hats, I can't think,—making themselves so conspicuous!"
Jonathan and the Bear.
President Pierce has congratulated the Emperor of
Pussia upon his assumption of the Imperial boots ; and the
Emperor assures the President ihat the last words of
Nicholas wTere words of sympa'hy and admiration of
Jonathan ! The knot of international friendship would
seem to be formed of the serf-knout and the slave cow-hide I
The Pope in Sardinia.—His Holiness, not content
with making a pretty kettle of fish in Spain, has also ex-
pressed his paternal determination to "pot "the Sardinians.
THE KING OF NAPLES ON THE CAEPET.
® ^nstory anil no Bnmanrr.
chapter i.
CE upnn a time (a very few years
ago) there reigned a certain King
(who, alack the day ! reigns still)
called Ferdinand, otherwise II Re
Bomb a, of Naples. "See Naples
and die," was a proverb that his
Majesty had often worked out upon
his faithful suhjects. Now this
Ferdinand was a potentate of most
volcanic viscera, the very spit, saving
the reader's presence, of Vesuvius.
A King, much given to the stick
that was much given to his people.
He was withal a man of sport and
inanv humane accomplishment41. He
could kill mosquitosl;ke Commodus,
andpkyupon the fiddle like Nero.
_ Now, it chanced one day, that this
excellent, King, making a procession of himself ihrough the rooms
of h s palace, bethought him that the carpets thereof had become faded,
and, for royal carpets, mighty threadbare. The Bourbon flowers had
sickened, and the moth, that spares neither the frieze of the peasant,
nor the coffin-velvet of the Emperor,—the moth had devastated.
Whereupon, seeing these things, the superb and magnificent monarch ;,„r„
resolved within himself to have new carpets—carpets spick and span. 'A _. , ^ u „ _____\
chapter ii.
" Segretakio mio," said Re Bomba to his penman, "straightway
write an order to that accursed heretical England ; — tor die Lutherans "
•—and here his Majesty crossed himself—"the Lutherans can, it must,
be confessed, do two things ; truly they can grind razors, and they can
weave carpets. Therefore, straightway, write and oraer"-
" Razors ?" said the secretary ; but ere he could add " your Majesty "
he was footed by a sudden movement of the royal muscles iuto the
extreme corner of the cabinet.
" Cane!" (otherwise " dog !") cried Re Bomba —"Carpets ! "
Whereupon the canine secretary gathered Irmself up on his two legs,
and like a dog returning to his seat, he sat him down, and proceeded
to write "carpets."
"Bestial" cried Re Bomba. " First, let painters be summoned;
and let the royal patterns be drawn and limned; and when this shall be
done, and we have approved thereof, then shall you write to the
Lutheran slave "—here his Majesty graciously spat—" and the carpets
be commanded."
And in due season these things were done, even as the King had
given order.
chapter iii.
A lovely morning broke upon the Bay of Naples. The golden sun
The glittering dew ! The azure heaven ! The sapphire ocean !
There might be seen an English barque, cleaving the liquid field. The
Pinion Jack fluttered—to the eye of a Briton—defyingly from the peak.
Boldly, saucily, did that English vessel plough the main. She brought
up—she dropt anchor. She was straightway accosted by a boat of the
King's.
That British craft was the proud bearer of the carpets wroven by the
happy Lutheran, whom Re Bomba had delighted to honour. Now
the carpet-weaver—embracing his saddened wife, and kissing his happy
children—bad quitted the soil of Albion to come, and in his own
per.>on, to deliver and lay down, the royal carpets. Perchance, too, the
sordid dealer had brought with him a receipt for the royal ready-money.
Now the carpets were duly sent to the rojal palace.
An interval of six weeks is here sunposed to take place; when a
Biitish islander, of bilious and malevolent aspect—in the unalterab'e
opinion of a Neapolitan physiognomist, much attached to the Neapoli-
tan police—might be observed, with his dog, for every British islander
travels with a British bull-dog, pacing the sunny side of the Piazza
Reale. That bilious strangerwas the Lutheran carpet-maker, and hope
deferred had made yellow his cheek, for six weeks had passed ; and
[August 25, 1855.
PITY FOR THE TOE.
Whilst, as patriots, we rejoice in the triumph of the
Allied arms at Sweaborg, as men we cannot but led com-
passion for that suffering by which it has been attended on
i he side of our opponents. Mr. Bright, Mk. Cobden, Sir
James Graham, Mr. Gladstone, and those who think
with them, that is to say the Greek firms, and the rest of
the philo-llussian party, have uo doubt severely felt the
misfortunes of their beloved country. We should be happy
'o suggest to them any consolation, if we could think of
any; and perhaps it may comfort them to reflect that,
although Sweaborg was demolished without the loss of a
British or a French life, it is probable that the capture of
Sena^topol will not be accomplished without heavy loss on
t he part of the Allies.
A'tacbnients may be not the less sincere because they are
unaccountable; and the gentlemen ab ve-mentioned may
have a predilection for liussia, just as it is conceivable that
they might be inclined to pet a boa-constrictor. 'Russia,
i-i.deed, is a boa—a great boa, a* the fine young gentlemen
say—rejoicing in the al'esed peculiarity of the amphisbcena,
or serpent with two heads, one head at each end. The
Russian amphisbcena has the superior head in the Baltic,
and the inferior in the Black Sea, and a body curled half
round Europe, which the northern mouth and the southern
have opened to swallowr. Either head of the snake, how-
ever, has been considerably bruised, and wre cannot help
expressing the hope that hoth will be smashed, however
sincerely the Peebles and Manchester friends of the reptile
may sympathise with its agouies.
Stout Party. ''Well, I'm sdre ! What can possess those skinny creatures to
wear Roond Hats, I can't think,—making themselves so conspicuous!"
Jonathan and the Bear.
President Pierce has congratulated the Emperor of
Pussia upon his assumption of the Imperial boots ; and the
Emperor assures the President ihat the last words of
Nicholas wTere words of sympa'hy and admiration of
Jonathan ! The knot of international friendship would
seem to be formed of the serf-knout and the slave cow-hide I
The Pope in Sardinia.—His Holiness, not content
with making a pretty kettle of fish in Spain, has also ex-
pressed his paternal determination to "pot "the Sardinians.
THE KING OF NAPLES ON THE CAEPET.
® ^nstory anil no Bnmanrr.
chapter i.
CE upnn a time (a very few years
ago) there reigned a certain King
(who, alack the day ! reigns still)
called Ferdinand, otherwise II Re
Bomb a, of Naples. "See Naples
and die," was a proverb that his
Majesty had often worked out upon
his faithful suhjects. Now this
Ferdinand was a potentate of most
volcanic viscera, the very spit, saving
the reader's presence, of Vesuvius.
A King, much given to the stick
that was much given to his people.
He was withal a man of sport and
inanv humane accomplishment41. He
could kill mosquitosl;ke Commodus,
andpkyupon the fiddle like Nero.
_ Now, it chanced one day, that this
excellent, King, making a procession of himself ihrough the rooms
of h s palace, bethought him that the carpets thereof had become faded,
and, for royal carpets, mighty threadbare. The Bourbon flowers had
sickened, and the moth, that spares neither the frieze of the peasant,
nor the coffin-velvet of the Emperor,—the moth had devastated.
Whereupon, seeing these things, the superb and magnificent monarch ;,„r„
resolved within himself to have new carpets—carpets spick and span. 'A _. , ^ u „ _____\
chapter ii.
" Segretakio mio," said Re Bomba to his penman, "straightway
write an order to that accursed heretical England ; — tor die Lutherans "
•—and here his Majesty crossed himself—"the Lutherans can, it must,
be confessed, do two things ; truly they can grind razors, and they can
weave carpets. Therefore, straightway, write and oraer"-
" Razors ?" said the secretary ; but ere he could add " your Majesty "
he was footed by a sudden movement of the royal muscles iuto the
extreme corner of the cabinet.
" Cane!" (otherwise " dog !") cried Re Bomba —"Carpets ! "
Whereupon the canine secretary gathered Irmself up on his two legs,
and like a dog returning to his seat, he sat him down, and proceeded
to write "carpets."
"Bestial" cried Re Bomba. " First, let painters be summoned;
and let the royal patterns be drawn and limned; and when this shall be
done, and we have approved thereof, then shall you write to the
Lutheran slave "—here his Majesty graciously spat—" and the carpets
be commanded."
And in due season these things were done, even as the King had
given order.
chapter iii.
A lovely morning broke upon the Bay of Naples. The golden sun
The glittering dew ! The azure heaven ! The sapphire ocean !
There might be seen an English barque, cleaving the liquid field. The
Pinion Jack fluttered—to the eye of a Briton—defyingly from the peak.
Boldly, saucily, did that English vessel plough the main. She brought
up—she dropt anchor. She was straightway accosted by a boat of the
King's.
That British craft was the proud bearer of the carpets wroven by the
happy Lutheran, whom Re Bomba had delighted to honour. Now
the carpet-weaver—embracing his saddened wife, and kissing his happy
children—bad quitted the soil of Albion to come, and in his own
per.>on, to deliver and lay down, the royal carpets. Perchance, too, the
sordid dealer had brought with him a receipt for the royal ready-money.
Now the carpets were duly sent to the rojal palace.
An interval of six weeks is here sunposed to take place; when a
Biitish islander, of bilious and malevolent aspect—in the unalterab'e
opinion of a Neapolitan physiognomist, much attached to the Neapoli-
tan police—might be observed, with his dog, for every British islander
travels with a British bull-dog, pacing the sunny side of the Piazza
Reale. That bilious strangerwas the Lutheran carpet-maker, and hope
deferred had made yellow his cheek, for six weeks had passed ; and