DOI Heft:
September 20, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0125
September 20, 1856.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. H7
files tbat sawed his bars; files that, making sweetest music, icade the
heart of Liberty beat higher and higher wiih every note.
Further, it is dedicated to the stout, the valiant hands that " took
hold of the cord," and in contempt of the Austrian halter tbat then
hung over them for the deed of mercy, helped the maimed and lamed
Felice from the Austrian pit, and " landed him safely on the ground." j ^ark ^ the camion^areroaTing, the bells aH resound,
It is dedicated to the noble hearts that "for eight days" carried the'
victim of Francis Joseph to and fro, tenderly "like a child"
Itis dedicated to the devoted souls, who, with "total forgetfulness
of risk incurred, or dagger courted in sheltering or assisting" him,
still comforted and sped the fugitive on his way to assured freedom ;
until, the sea tbat rolls round England, made him a sacred thing;
sacred even from the gaoler-hand of the Emperor o? Austria. The
eagles scream, but the waves roar back a lion-like defiance.
THE WRONGS OE CRINOLINE.
"My deadest Me. Puuch,
"Do, pray, let me beg and entreat of jou, please, be so kind
as to notice the dreadful carelessness that everybody almost is guilty
of in not minding what they are about, and dirtying, and tearing, and
spoiling ladies' dresses. I appeal to you because I know your chival-
rous spirit; you are like one of the knights of the olden time who rode
about righting wrongs and redressing grievances, particularly those of
distressed damsels, with their lances, and in the same way 1 wish yon
would give the rude, negligent, provoking, disagreeable creatures I
mean, a poke. Ob.! I have no patience with them. They know that
dresses are worn long and wide now; then, since they are aware of
this, why can they not bear it in mind ? Instead of which, whenever
they go down-stairs, gentlemen I mean, to dinner, or away from a
play or a concert, or anywhere where there are ladies with them, those
behind us are certain to tread on the skirts of our dresses, thinking of
something else. The same at table, where the legs of their chairs are
sure to be on our flounces, and whm we rise to retire, crash they go !
" Of course, owing to the width of dresses, it is now impossible to
get into a brougham, or any carriage almost, without the dress rubbing
against the sides. Now when drivers of other vehicles in the streets,
not only cabmen, but wifh carriages of their own, must see that, why
is it they take little or no care how they drive, and splash ours, so that
we must brush against it getting in, and there is a beautiful new dress
perhaps all over mud P If they cannot help splashing, which they could
if they tried, the Board of Health, or whatever it is, ought to see that
the streets are kept in a proper state, swept nice and clean, not only in
London, but at watering-places now, and other places where fashion-
able people go, and, being obliged to appear as such, if the streets are
dirty, of course they naturally sweep up the mud, and rub it od, and one
way and the other get dirt all over, and spoil their things.
" Another thing: when men are walking along the pavement they
never mind how they carry their umbrellas and walking-sticks. Very
often they hold them lengthways by the middle, and then, as they
hurry along, with their minds absent in stupid thought, or business,
looking straight before them, up in the sky, or anywhere but .where
they ought, the crook at the end catches in a fold of the dress, and
—crack!—tears it all dowo. If they must carry sticks and umbrellas,
they should confine themselves to those with knobs for handles, instead
of hooks getting in the way of our dresses and tearing them.
" Servants, too, are so very inconsiderate in arranging things with-
out allowing proper room. One cannot step into a balcony where
there are plants without upsetting a geranium, overturning a myrtle, or
knocking down an orange tree, or perhaps breaking a beautiful vase—
all for want of a little foresight, which, it' they do not exercise it, what
advantage is it to be gifted with such a prerogative in preference to
the inferior species ?
" I also think, Mr. Punch, you might give a hint to gentlemen when
they go inside a carriage, not to take up so much room as they do with
a lady by the side of them, and her dress, as the case generally is,
spread out over their knees. Tell them they ought to try and make
themselves a little less, and then we should think more of them.
" You would confer another obligation if you would recommend
railway companies and the managers of theatres, and other amusements
to alter their seats, the narrowness of which makes them very uncom-
fortable : and this I will say, which may have a good tendency, that
almost the only place a lady can appear in, and go without being
inconvenienced at the entrance, is church, where, at least, one at a
time, one seldom has to squeeze one's way through the door.
"Oh! I could complain a great deal more, but now I must con-
clude, for fear too much room should be occupied in your interesting
columns by
" Marine Parade, Sept. 1856. " Crinoline."
"P.S. If they would but think the least in the world, the inconveni-
ence might be so very easily remedied."
THE CORONATION IN MOSCOW.
By a British Cynic.
~-------f----------c j----—-----------
Alexander is coming this way to be crowned ;
Coronations are ever attended with noise,
For men still will be men, and bojs always be bojs,
Here they come, and who first ? the Police, I piesume,
Yes, the mounted Police, who sport helmet and plume ;
"Move cn there ! " they'll scarce have occasion to !ay;
For nobcdy's likely to get in their way.
The procession comes afier, 'mid shouts of applau e,
Which every procession is certain to cause,
If it flashes and shines, and is coloured enough,
No matter at all whom 'tis got up to puff.
The wearers were nothing without arms and clothes,
The excitement is caused, then, by the^e and by those;
Yellow jackets and gossamer chain-mail combine,
With embroidered horse-cloths, in the front of the lice.
Follow lances, and pennons, and matchlocks and sword •,
The old-fashioned weapons of barbarous hoide*.
With scarf upon shoulders and sash around waist,
Picturesque in effect—Oriental in taste.
B'ack sheepskins, red skull-cap?, flags white, red, and blue,
(Tu^re's a song of that name wfrcb. in Moscow vton't do)
And a bristling array of long red-handled p kes ;
How the multitude, roars ! this is just what it likes.
Blue uniforms, mounted, and others than blue,
Bespangled with jewels and brilliant of hue,
Of all sorts of colours all manner of ves*s,
And orders, stars, crosses, and ribands on breas1?.
Gowns, turbans, and trousers, camises, capotes,
lied, white, yellow breeches, and antique steel coats,
And scarlet and purple, and mazarine boots,
Yataghans, battle-axes, and green and gold suits.
Horse-trappings and liveries, domestic atid sfatr,
Having heaps of gold lace, upon chargers elate,
Chariots, crimson and gilt; helmet, armour, and c:est.
Then his Majesty next and dressed out in his bes*,
Then the court and court ladies, and lastly the cro^v\
Their shouts and their cries how astoundingly loud !
And another crowd probably, some other day,
Will bawl in the same place and just the same way.
And what sort of men did these dresses contain ?
Of the whole for a sample take some of the train,
Some sixty in number; with go'd braiding shone
Their malachite garb ; and cocked ha4s they had on.
Knee shorts, white silk stockings, and shoes on their feet,
With buckles confined, made their raiment complete:
And their shorts were of plush—in their tight buckled shoes,
These same gentlemen walked, in the passe, by twos.
In their gait, 'twas remarked, they Imped somewhat and flinched,
For their shoes were new made, and unpleasantly pinched.
All the slaves of a despot, howe'er smart their dresf,
Aie but flunkeys who feei the shoe pinch more or less.
Travelling Experiences.
If you stop in a foreign town, go by all means to an English hotel or
Boarding-house, and there you will have English fare, be charged in
English money, and hear nothing but English spoken. It will be
almost the same as if you were in England, excepting that you will find
the chickens rather thin, the Cheshire unpleasantly strong, the Queen's
English very queer, the company exceedingly sour, and the beer twice
as dear as in your own country.
Impudent Austria!
The Vienna Presse is about to give a German edition of Mbs.
Stowe's second black draught, Dm// And this to show a virtuous
horror of slavery ! That Austria should patronise the mother of UncU
Tom is as though Legree himself should pio+ect Eliza, the mother of
little Henry.
files tbat sawed his bars; files that, making sweetest music, icade the
heart of Liberty beat higher and higher wiih every note.
Further, it is dedicated to the stout, the valiant hands that " took
hold of the cord," and in contempt of the Austrian halter tbat then
hung over them for the deed of mercy, helped the maimed and lamed
Felice from the Austrian pit, and " landed him safely on the ground." j ^ark ^ the camion^areroaTing, the bells aH resound,
It is dedicated to the noble hearts that "for eight days" carried the'
victim of Francis Joseph to and fro, tenderly "like a child"
Itis dedicated to the devoted souls, who, with "total forgetfulness
of risk incurred, or dagger courted in sheltering or assisting" him,
still comforted and sped the fugitive on his way to assured freedom ;
until, the sea tbat rolls round England, made him a sacred thing;
sacred even from the gaoler-hand of the Emperor o? Austria. The
eagles scream, but the waves roar back a lion-like defiance.
THE WRONGS OE CRINOLINE.
"My deadest Me. Puuch,
"Do, pray, let me beg and entreat of jou, please, be so kind
as to notice the dreadful carelessness that everybody almost is guilty
of in not minding what they are about, and dirtying, and tearing, and
spoiling ladies' dresses. I appeal to you because I know your chival-
rous spirit; you are like one of the knights of the olden time who rode
about righting wrongs and redressing grievances, particularly those of
distressed damsels, with their lances, and in the same way 1 wish yon
would give the rude, negligent, provoking, disagreeable creatures I
mean, a poke. Ob.! I have no patience with them. They know that
dresses are worn long and wide now; then, since they are aware of
this, why can they not bear it in mind ? Instead of which, whenever
they go down-stairs, gentlemen I mean, to dinner, or away from a
play or a concert, or anywhere where there are ladies with them, those
behind us are certain to tread on the skirts of our dresses, thinking of
something else. The same at table, where the legs of their chairs are
sure to be on our flounces, and whm we rise to retire, crash they go !
" Of course, owing to the width of dresses, it is now impossible to
get into a brougham, or any carriage almost, without the dress rubbing
against the sides. Now when drivers of other vehicles in the streets,
not only cabmen, but wifh carriages of their own, must see that, why
is it they take little or no care how they drive, and splash ours, so that
we must brush against it getting in, and there is a beautiful new dress
perhaps all over mud P If they cannot help splashing, which they could
if they tried, the Board of Health, or whatever it is, ought to see that
the streets are kept in a proper state, swept nice and clean, not only in
London, but at watering-places now, and other places where fashion-
able people go, and, being obliged to appear as such, if the streets are
dirty, of course they naturally sweep up the mud, and rub it od, and one
way and the other get dirt all over, and spoil their things.
" Another thing: when men are walking along the pavement they
never mind how they carry their umbrellas and walking-sticks. Very
often they hold them lengthways by the middle, and then, as they
hurry along, with their minds absent in stupid thought, or business,
looking straight before them, up in the sky, or anywhere but .where
they ought, the crook at the end catches in a fold of the dress, and
—crack!—tears it all dowo. If they must carry sticks and umbrellas,
they should confine themselves to those with knobs for handles, instead
of hooks getting in the way of our dresses and tearing them.
" Servants, too, are so very inconsiderate in arranging things with-
out allowing proper room. One cannot step into a balcony where
there are plants without upsetting a geranium, overturning a myrtle, or
knocking down an orange tree, or perhaps breaking a beautiful vase—
all for want of a little foresight, which, it' they do not exercise it, what
advantage is it to be gifted with such a prerogative in preference to
the inferior species ?
" I also think, Mr. Punch, you might give a hint to gentlemen when
they go inside a carriage, not to take up so much room as they do with
a lady by the side of them, and her dress, as the case generally is,
spread out over their knees. Tell them they ought to try and make
themselves a little less, and then we should think more of them.
" You would confer another obligation if you would recommend
railway companies and the managers of theatres, and other amusements
to alter their seats, the narrowness of which makes them very uncom-
fortable : and this I will say, which may have a good tendency, that
almost the only place a lady can appear in, and go without being
inconvenienced at the entrance, is church, where, at least, one at a
time, one seldom has to squeeze one's way through the door.
"Oh! I could complain a great deal more, but now I must con-
clude, for fear too much room should be occupied in your interesting
columns by
" Marine Parade, Sept. 1856. " Crinoline."
"P.S. If they would but think the least in the world, the inconveni-
ence might be so very easily remedied."
THE CORONATION IN MOSCOW.
By a British Cynic.
~-------f----------c j----—-----------
Alexander is coming this way to be crowned ;
Coronations are ever attended with noise,
For men still will be men, and bojs always be bojs,
Here they come, and who first ? the Police, I piesume,
Yes, the mounted Police, who sport helmet and plume ;
"Move cn there ! " they'll scarce have occasion to !ay;
For nobcdy's likely to get in their way.
The procession comes afier, 'mid shouts of applau e,
Which every procession is certain to cause,
If it flashes and shines, and is coloured enough,
No matter at all whom 'tis got up to puff.
The wearers were nothing without arms and clothes,
The excitement is caused, then, by the^e and by those;
Yellow jackets and gossamer chain-mail combine,
With embroidered horse-cloths, in the front of the lice.
Follow lances, and pennons, and matchlocks and sword •,
The old-fashioned weapons of barbarous hoide*.
With scarf upon shoulders and sash around waist,
Picturesque in effect—Oriental in taste.
B'ack sheepskins, red skull-cap?, flags white, red, and blue,
(Tu^re's a song of that name wfrcb. in Moscow vton't do)
And a bristling array of long red-handled p kes ;
How the multitude, roars ! this is just what it likes.
Blue uniforms, mounted, and others than blue,
Bespangled with jewels and brilliant of hue,
Of all sorts of colours all manner of ves*s,
And orders, stars, crosses, and ribands on breas1?.
Gowns, turbans, and trousers, camises, capotes,
lied, white, yellow breeches, and antique steel coats,
And scarlet and purple, and mazarine boots,
Yataghans, battle-axes, and green and gold suits.
Horse-trappings and liveries, domestic atid sfatr,
Having heaps of gold lace, upon chargers elate,
Chariots, crimson and gilt; helmet, armour, and c:est.
Then his Majesty next and dressed out in his bes*,
Then the court and court ladies, and lastly the cro^v\
Their shouts and their cries how astoundingly loud !
And another crowd probably, some other day,
Will bawl in the same place and just the same way.
And what sort of men did these dresses contain ?
Of the whole for a sample take some of the train,
Some sixty in number; with go'd braiding shone
Their malachite garb ; and cocked ha4s they had on.
Knee shorts, white silk stockings, and shoes on their feet,
With buckles confined, made their raiment complete:
And their shorts were of plush—in their tight buckled shoes,
These same gentlemen walked, in the passe, by twos.
In their gait, 'twas remarked, they Imped somewhat and flinched,
For their shoes were new made, and unpleasantly pinched.
All the slaves of a despot, howe'er smart their dresf,
Aie but flunkeys who feei the shoe pinch more or less.
Travelling Experiences.
If you stop in a foreign town, go by all means to an English hotel or
Boarding-house, and there you will have English fare, be charged in
English money, and hear nothing but English spoken. It will be
almost the same as if you were in England, excepting that you will find
the chickens rather thin, the Cheshire unpleasantly strong, the Queen's
English very queer, the company exceedingly sour, and the beer twice
as dear as in your own country.
Impudent Austria!
The Vienna Presse is about to give a German edition of Mbs.
Stowe's second black draught, Dm// And this to show a virtuous
horror of slavery ! That Austria should patronise the mother of UncU
Tom is as though Legree himself should pio+ect Eliza, the mother of
little Henry.