DOI Heft:
September 20, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0126
118
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 20, 1856a
SHEFFIELD BLADES.
Crimean surviv-
ors of the 4th Dra-
goon Guards, now
stationed at Shef-
field ; and are to
be taken as a
slight set-off to
the cheap glory
of the Cardigan
sword, presented
shire tenantry,
and manufactur-
ed, it is said, out of
Yorkshire sickles;
probably in the
hope that his lord-
ship may never be
called upon to use
the testimonial
blade save and
except in the ope-
ration of corn-
cutting. On the
presentation of
the knives, Ma. Overend, the Deputy-Lieutenant of the West Riding,
very fitly spoke of the service of one William Russell, in the Crimea,
whose simple pen-knife has proved of greater value to England than
the swords and bayonets of squadrons and battalions. "The country,'3
said the sptaker, "is much indebted to him." Now this truth has
been uttered so often, that surely it is time that the country should
set about an early liquidation of what is owing.
TESTIMONIALS.
Me. Roebuck, has received eleven hundred guineas, as a small
evidence of the golden opinions he has won of his Sheffield constituents.
We must say that we mightily admire this sirnpb, tangible mode of
acknowledging a man's seivices; for a testimonial is, nine times out of
ten, nothing more than a double blander. In the first place, there is
the blunder of adulation, or jobbing, or snobbery, in the idea of the
offerirjg itself; and secondly, there is the blunder in the form and
purpose of the thing bestowed. This twin mistake has been felici-
tously illustrated of late in the Yorkshire sword given to the Earl of
Cardigan. Now the noble warrior has it, what will he do with it P
We have known of cases of testimonial in which the person plated has
been involved by the honour done him in a fearful annual expense.
For instance—there was Mr. Churchwarden Crlbbs. An enthusi-
astic member of the Established Church, it was his pride, during his
period of office, to keep the church weathercock so thickly, so magni-
ficently gilt, that it was the earliest pleasure of the day to the whole
parish to observe, upon rising, which way the wind blew. Well, on
the termination of his period of office, Chubbs was presented by a
grateful parish with a handsome silver epergne and salver. What was
the consequence ? Chebbs, even when assisted by Mrs. Chubbs and
the children, could not, each like an unhappy Theseus, sit and for ever
sit gazing upon the complimentary plate. " What's the use of having
anything handsome," Mrs. Chubbs would continually cry, "unless
you show it?" Whereupon Chubbs, feeling the acuteness of the
question, gave a large party, and duly exhibited the testimonials. And
this riarty was renewed year after year, at the annual expense of—but,
as Mr, Chubbs himself at last declared, he couldn't bring himself
decently to think of it. Now, had the testifying parish laid out the
same sum upon a batch of prime port, Chubbs might have now and
then mildly and unexpensively shared the gift with a friend to the last
drop; and even when all the wine wa3 drunk, there would still have
remained the monumental bottles.
Mrs. Goodenough, a kind creature, a local benevolence, for her
many active virtues was presented with a silver cake-basket. What
was the result? As Goodenough a little unfeelingly observed,
' the hou<e was for ever arter swarming with tea-parties." And
Mrs. G. put the same question put by Mrs. C, " What's the use of
having anything handsome if you don't show it ?" Now, if instead of
a sdver cake-basket, Mrs. Goodenough had been piesented with, say
an elegant perambulator, the testimonial would have been a dailv object
! in the eyes of the parish for, who thall venture to say, how many years
| to follow ?
Nothing so charming, nothing so refining and elevating as the bene-
any pen'and pocket- [ volent spirit that dictates the gift of testimonials; the only matter
knives have been 1 quarrelled with by Mr. Punch being the mode and form in which they
handsomely be-1 too often shape themselves. Our Gracious Majesty of England has,
s_towed upon the j we read .it in the newspapers, lecently given to the Count W alewski
a magnificent gold snuif-box set with diamonds, in commemoration of
the treaty of peace. Well, we know that snuff-boxes have, time out of
mind, been the chosen form for diplomatic presents; and there may be
a significance in the fact, seeing that diplomacy seldom treats that the
world is not more or less taken by the nose. Very lately John Bell
has certainly felt the thumb and finger of his dear ally, and has a little
too pacifically followed the leading. However, we will not encourage
these thoughts; indeed, it is impossible with the coronation bells of
Moscow beating them out of us. And jet wre think the Count's
snuff-box might have been made of Russian platina, and, with all the
to his lordship a*~. I diamonds in the woild if it would only have held them, with just a little
Leeds by hisYork- bit of Malachite; at once rtflecting the slippery polish of Russian
diplomacy with the pure greenness of the English.
Now the testimonial awarded to Mr. Roebuck is every way fitting,
because at the will of the possessor it is, in every way, convertible.
Nevertheless, we believe we are in no way violating a confidence in
stating that, even at hard-headed, hard handed, practical Sheffield, the
testimonial might have been in its form and purpose only another
blunder added to the blunders of the sort not to be numbered. For
instance, one of the Committee, with the best intentions, proposed the
gift of a large, massive silver-gilt gridiron ; as peculiarly typical of th?
honourable Member's patriotic conduct, when, originating the Ciimean
Commission, he called certain high folks over the coals. There was, we
confess it"., thought and significance in the proposition; but of what
practical use would have been that sterling gridiron in Mr. Plozbuck's
kitchen? Neither a Secretary-of-War, nor a Quartermaster-Genera!,
nor even a Quartermaster's Assistant, are to be broiled every day.
Such was the common-sense reply and conviction; and, very wisely, as
we think, the idea of the gridiron Wii abandoned.
Rising from the purely domestic to the poetically classic, it was next
proposed to s-hape the testimonial as a candelabra, the shaft to be
formed of a group, Apollo flaying Marsyas; Mr. Roebuck to be re-
quested to sit for Apollo (with a Sheffield whittle in his hand), and a
noble Earl, with a bagpipe fallen at hi3 feet, to be skinned as Marsyas.
For a time, the adoption of the candelabra teemed inevitable, but
happily better counsels prevailed. It was very sensibly ruled, that
Mr. Roebuck being a man whose habits and temperament eschewed
the mere vanity of show, it would be almost unjust to their honouiabie
Member to consider him seated in the presence of a dozen of Palmer's
candles, contemplating his own public virtues chased in silver, with
nobody present, save perhaps puss asleep on the hearth-iug.
Finally, and we rejoice at the determination, it was resolved that the
testimonial should shape itself in .the simplicity of eleven hundred
guineas. Had it been eleven times eleven hundred, it would have been
equally woithy of the man and his merits. We can odI.v wish to every
guinea the property of the honey-bee. May it go forth merrily, and
return doubly-laden !
FRANKENSTEIN FOR FAMILIES.
What a happy thing it would be for families if Manchester could
only do what the Manchester Guardian, seems to say that it can, in the
following commercial statement:—
" The difficulty of getting anything more for domestics, while the yarns they ar4
made trom have risen another step, is extorting louder complaints than ever from the
suffering manufacturers."
Could domestics but be spun out of yarns, or constructed by
machinery in any other way, from how much perpetual annoyance
would almost every materfatmlias be delivered! How few plates,
dishes, glasses, cups and saucers, would be broken by a well regulated
artificial domestic ! There would be no waste in the kitchen, no sauce
would be had thenca except culinary; the leg of mutton would last
many times as long as it lasts now : and the cat would not run away
with the spoon and other things anything like so often as she unfor-
tunately does at present. Having automatic female domestics, rightly
constituted and wound up so as always to go on properly, we Should
never have policemen sneaking down our areas, nor ever at any time
discover Crimean heroes in our coal-holes.
The Royal British Bank.
At the first meeting of the anxious depositors, it was resolved, " that
no solicitor was to be on the Committee." This is as though, in the
days of iEsop, certain harried rabbit3 should have written up outside
the warren. " No ferret admitted."
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 20, 1856a
SHEFFIELD BLADES.
Crimean surviv-
ors of the 4th Dra-
goon Guards, now
stationed at Shef-
field ; and are to
be taken as a
slight set-off to
the cheap glory
of the Cardigan
sword, presented
shire tenantry,
and manufactur-
ed, it is said, out of
Yorkshire sickles;
probably in the
hope that his lord-
ship may never be
called upon to use
the testimonial
blade save and
except in the ope-
ration of corn-
cutting. On the
presentation of
the knives, Ma. Overend, the Deputy-Lieutenant of the West Riding,
very fitly spoke of the service of one William Russell, in the Crimea,
whose simple pen-knife has proved of greater value to England than
the swords and bayonets of squadrons and battalions. "The country,'3
said the sptaker, "is much indebted to him." Now this truth has
been uttered so often, that surely it is time that the country should
set about an early liquidation of what is owing.
TESTIMONIALS.
Me. Roebuck, has received eleven hundred guineas, as a small
evidence of the golden opinions he has won of his Sheffield constituents.
We must say that we mightily admire this sirnpb, tangible mode of
acknowledging a man's seivices; for a testimonial is, nine times out of
ten, nothing more than a double blander. In the first place, there is
the blunder of adulation, or jobbing, or snobbery, in the idea of the
offerirjg itself; and secondly, there is the blunder in the form and
purpose of the thing bestowed. This twin mistake has been felici-
tously illustrated of late in the Yorkshire sword given to the Earl of
Cardigan. Now the noble warrior has it, what will he do with it P
We have known of cases of testimonial in which the person plated has
been involved by the honour done him in a fearful annual expense.
For instance—there was Mr. Churchwarden Crlbbs. An enthusi-
astic member of the Established Church, it was his pride, during his
period of office, to keep the church weathercock so thickly, so magni-
ficently gilt, that it was the earliest pleasure of the day to the whole
parish to observe, upon rising, which way the wind blew. Well, on
the termination of his period of office, Chubbs was presented by a
grateful parish with a handsome silver epergne and salver. What was
the consequence ? Chebbs, even when assisted by Mrs. Chubbs and
the children, could not, each like an unhappy Theseus, sit and for ever
sit gazing upon the complimentary plate. " What's the use of having
anything handsome," Mrs. Chubbs would continually cry, "unless
you show it?" Whereupon Chubbs, feeling the acuteness of the
question, gave a large party, and duly exhibited the testimonials. And
this riarty was renewed year after year, at the annual expense of—but,
as Mr, Chubbs himself at last declared, he couldn't bring himself
decently to think of it. Now, had the testifying parish laid out the
same sum upon a batch of prime port, Chubbs might have now and
then mildly and unexpensively shared the gift with a friend to the last
drop; and even when all the wine wa3 drunk, there would still have
remained the monumental bottles.
Mrs. Goodenough, a kind creature, a local benevolence, for her
many active virtues was presented with a silver cake-basket. What
was the result? As Goodenough a little unfeelingly observed,
' the hou<e was for ever arter swarming with tea-parties." And
Mrs. G. put the same question put by Mrs. C, " What's the use of
having anything handsome if you don't show it ?" Now, if instead of
a sdver cake-basket, Mrs. Goodenough had been piesented with, say
an elegant perambulator, the testimonial would have been a dailv object
! in the eyes of the parish for, who thall venture to say, how many years
| to follow ?
Nothing so charming, nothing so refining and elevating as the bene-
any pen'and pocket- [ volent spirit that dictates the gift of testimonials; the only matter
knives have been 1 quarrelled with by Mr. Punch being the mode and form in which they
handsomely be-1 too often shape themselves. Our Gracious Majesty of England has,
s_towed upon the j we read .it in the newspapers, lecently given to the Count W alewski
a magnificent gold snuif-box set with diamonds, in commemoration of
the treaty of peace. Well, we know that snuff-boxes have, time out of
mind, been the chosen form for diplomatic presents; and there may be
a significance in the fact, seeing that diplomacy seldom treats that the
world is not more or less taken by the nose. Very lately John Bell
has certainly felt the thumb and finger of his dear ally, and has a little
too pacifically followed the leading. However, we will not encourage
these thoughts; indeed, it is impossible with the coronation bells of
Moscow beating them out of us. And jet wre think the Count's
snuff-box might have been made of Russian platina, and, with all the
to his lordship a*~. I diamonds in the woild if it would only have held them, with just a little
Leeds by hisYork- bit of Malachite; at once rtflecting the slippery polish of Russian
diplomacy with the pure greenness of the English.
Now the testimonial awarded to Mr. Roebuck is every way fitting,
because at the will of the possessor it is, in every way, convertible.
Nevertheless, we believe we are in no way violating a confidence in
stating that, even at hard-headed, hard handed, practical Sheffield, the
testimonial might have been in its form and purpose only another
blunder added to the blunders of the sort not to be numbered. For
instance, one of the Committee, with the best intentions, proposed the
gift of a large, massive silver-gilt gridiron ; as peculiarly typical of th?
honourable Member's patriotic conduct, when, originating the Ciimean
Commission, he called certain high folks over the coals. There was, we
confess it"., thought and significance in the proposition; but of what
practical use would have been that sterling gridiron in Mr. Plozbuck's
kitchen? Neither a Secretary-of-War, nor a Quartermaster-Genera!,
nor even a Quartermaster's Assistant, are to be broiled every day.
Such was the common-sense reply and conviction; and, very wisely, as
we think, the idea of the gridiron Wii abandoned.
Rising from the purely domestic to the poetically classic, it was next
proposed to s-hape the testimonial as a candelabra, the shaft to be
formed of a group, Apollo flaying Marsyas; Mr. Roebuck to be re-
quested to sit for Apollo (with a Sheffield whittle in his hand), and a
noble Earl, with a bagpipe fallen at hi3 feet, to be skinned as Marsyas.
For a time, the adoption of the candelabra teemed inevitable, but
happily better counsels prevailed. It was very sensibly ruled, that
Mr. Roebuck being a man whose habits and temperament eschewed
the mere vanity of show, it would be almost unjust to their honouiabie
Member to consider him seated in the presence of a dozen of Palmer's
candles, contemplating his own public virtues chased in silver, with
nobody present, save perhaps puss asleep on the hearth-iug.
Finally, and we rejoice at the determination, it was resolved that the
testimonial should shape itself in .the simplicity of eleven hundred
guineas. Had it been eleven times eleven hundred, it would have been
equally woithy of the man and his merits. We can odI.v wish to every
guinea the property of the honey-bee. May it go forth merrily, and
return doubly-laden !
FRANKENSTEIN FOR FAMILIES.
What a happy thing it would be for families if Manchester could
only do what the Manchester Guardian, seems to say that it can, in the
following commercial statement:—
" The difficulty of getting anything more for domestics, while the yarns they ar4
made trom have risen another step, is extorting louder complaints than ever from the
suffering manufacturers."
Could domestics but be spun out of yarns, or constructed by
machinery in any other way, from how much perpetual annoyance
would almost every materfatmlias be delivered! How few plates,
dishes, glasses, cups and saucers, would be broken by a well regulated
artificial domestic ! There would be no waste in the kitchen, no sauce
would be had thenca except culinary; the leg of mutton would last
many times as long as it lasts now : and the cat would not run away
with the spoon and other things anything like so often as she unfor-
tunately does at present. Having automatic female domestics, rightly
constituted and wound up so as always to go on properly, we Should
never have policemen sneaking down our areas, nor ever at any time
discover Crimean heroes in our coal-holes.
The Royal British Bank.
At the first meeting of the anxious depositors, it was resolved, " that
no solicitor was to be on the Committee." This is as though, in the
days of iEsop, certain harried rabbit3 should have written up outside
the warren. " No ferret admitted."