Punch (31.1856)

August 23, 1856.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

71

PUNCH AT THE CRYSTAL PALACE.

No ft.—THE NINEVEH COURT (Continued).

Let us approach the fagade,

don't let us meet those tiresome Bickkrstaffs."—" Me. Layard—
ah to be sure, a very rising man—there's Lord Palmerston—do go
and say a word for that poor stupid young Bladderwick, his mother
bores me to death to get you to ask for something for him."

Having given this hint, Mr. Punch expects that it will be taken, and
merely proceeds to say that the manners and customs, both in peace
or exterior, sans faeon. 1^ a[jd war, religious ceremonies, royal costume and pursuits, and other
is formed by winged human- characteristics of the most ancient empire of the world, may be studied
headed bulls, and gigantic ?"tn perfect ease upon these marvellous walls. Ages before a wander-
human figures. The prover- j0" metallurgist, called Hamilcon, first brought England into notice,
bial generosity of an artist's ^ condescending to come here for tin (a good many foreigners between
nature is shown in the fact, Hamilcon and Miss Joanna Wagner have honoured our shores for
that to all the former he has ^he ,same Purpose,) these paintings were executed, and if Art in
given five legs. The Ninny- Lngland makes no better signs of vitality than it has done hitherto, it
vite Quinquepeds are very 1,sn,ar. from impossible that- ages after revolted Australia has success-
imposing creatures. Observe ™lly invaded Britain, and made a converted Kangaroo the President of
the elegant tassel at the tips 1,°,e A11^0311 Republic, the descendants of the invaders may respectfully
of their tails, likewise their admire these Nimroud marbles, and wonder that their forefathers left
pleasing countenances and Eothiug of equal endurance. Mr. Punch is open to fight anybody wbo
unexceptionable wings. They says tna* m *ne above extraordinary passage he has not over-trumped,
are supposed to be° allego- ^~R- Macatjlay and his celebrated ruins of London Bridge,
lies and if their designers lHIler Chamber is ornamented with casts from sculptures at

could not point a moral, they could certainly adorn a tail. The human f[imrt°nu^n11 celebLratmS the exploits of the same King, and who leigned
figures (as Mr. Layard is polite enough to call them) represent about 1000 years before the Christian Lra a date supposed to be familiar
Hercules strangling a Lion; but again the domest]C idea intrudes, and *g most persons except Mb. Disraeli, who, m his Life of Lord George
we are irresistibly reminded of a peccant puss, about to undergo a mild does not make it cle^r that he knows where to fix it. In one

whipping bas-reliet the King is sticking a bull—and does not stoop to the base

We now enter the Central Hall. The Ninnyvites, although they ! relief 9f h&™S a guard to protect him from his victim, as some German.

adorned their buildings with colossal forms, made the entrances very
contemptible, a peculiarity in which they have been imitated. The

sovereigns do. He does his woik like a man. Also observe that the
five legs given to the bulls outside are balanced by only two legs being

forms of our Constitution are very imposing: but the mean wavs by ; pen to the horses inside. The King may also be seen drinking, after
which Deople get into the place where those forms are chiefly observed,, £1B victory, and musicians are playing, but they do not seem to have
need no other comment than election blue-books. A tree is painted in ; ™en Playing polkas while he was killing his game from a safe distance,
the ceiling, in utter defiance of the M'Choaktjmchilds of Nineveh, who 1 E„lse™e he hunts a lion. The lion has a claw or hook at the tip
thought that there should be no imagination in the Art that means j °\ nis tail>,to en.able him to scratch himself in _ those hot climates

There is also a siege, in which a battering ram is used instead of a
battering train, and ancient science has the advantage over modern,
for the place is really being taken, north side and south side too.

making images, and as doubtless there never was a tree in a ceiling,
except a roof-tree, such a delineation is opposed to fact. Here the prigs
before alluded, to have a capital opportunity for emitting a bit of
Marlborough House cram. There is also a winged Globe in the same
place, and this is more capable of defence, as that excellent evening
paoer is supported by "mighty pens," as the oratorio justly remarks.

The columns are copied from Persepolis and Susa, for no columns
were found in Nineveh. But Me. William Hazlitt assures us that
Persepolis itself was built out of the spoils of Thebes, so here is
a clear case of a double thievery of columns, reminding one of the
weekly newspapers, which steal their columns from the daily papers,
and then complain of the piracy of the penny prints. Susa is a
pretty name, like Susan, (derived from the same word,) and means
Lilies; but the swindle alluded to makes us think of Miss Edge-
worth's " great Job-lilies," which were connected with the very
imprudent marriage of the barber, when the people danced till the
gunpowder ran out at the heels of their shoes. I

^]/? a n

Other military exploits are represented, and also the King's trium-
phant return, on which, instead of bouquets, the heads of his van-
| quished enemies are being strewn in his path—let us hope " property
heads," just as some theatrical managers humbug the public by a shower
of "property bouquets " to an artist whom it is desirable to puff. We
afterwards get a glimpse of domestic life, in four compartments of simul-
taneous action, Jonathan Bradford style—only that the killing is going
on upon the ground floor, instead of upstairs, as in Me. Fitzball's
improving drama. And, finally, there is a grand tableau of a stormed
city, in which everybody is shooting, scalding, stabbing, slashing, and
smashing everybody, with the nrofoundest contempt for the laws of
philanthropy and perspective. It is pleasing to reflect that after about
3000 years of progress, (including evei so many new religions, printing,
railways, Bible societies, electric telegraphs, and Punchy the most
enlightened nations of the world have just been but making materials
for another picture of exactly the same kind.
This reflection will make any reader of ordinary feelings so melan-
All visitors looking round this hall have casts m their eyes, and these ^at ^e ^\\\ oe glad to come a*ay from the Nineveh to the

" Staples Court, and implore the aid of Ceres and Xeres, in the form

casts have been taken from sculptures in the northwest palace at
Nimroud. They will repay a much closer examination than most
loungers condescend to bestow upon them. The ordinary amount of
comment vouchsafed to these marvellous reproductions is, Mr. Punch
regrets to say, rather compendious than critical. He cannot regard
such observations as "What Guys!" — "Haven't they got Jew
noses ?"—" There's a rum bird, Bill ! "—" See that chap tumbling
off the wall ? "—" The feller in the cart is like our Sam ! "—in which
the humbler class of spectators chiefly display their acumen, as at all
exhaustive of the subject, any more than the refined observations of
their betters, who remark, " Dear me, how elaborate—did you ever see
such a bonnet as that which just passed ? "—" Nineveh, is it—O yes—
it throws great light on sacred history—here, Heney, make haste,

of a crust and a glass of sherry.

Public Baths at Dover.

Adventtjbotjs navigators who have visited the Polynesian Archi-
pelago, relate with wonder how the natives of that cluster of islands
came swimming, in a perfectly natural state, about the British vessels.
The bathing arrangements at Dover, we understand, are such as to
render a voyage to Polynesia quite unnecessary, for anybody fond of
studying the manners and customs <>f uncivilised people, and desirous
of witnessing that particular spectacle.