Punch (31.1856)

DncEMiii-:k 13, 1856. i

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

T61

A CONSERVATIVE " COUP D'ETAT."

^n^——he late visit; of the Count

gP^ de Persigny, ambassador

^4\M/^y //// for France to England, made

Wfirj^ to th* palatial hall of Knows-

^^^^/^ ^^W^&^s^^^ ley, seat of the Earl of

j&s/ ikStllk. Derby, the head of the

/ ^—S^l&'N Conservative party, cannot

of the successful patriots, had engaged himself to drug the poiset; in
a word, 10 hocuss the unconscious Minister.

With the head of the Ministry gone, and haply, still sleeping some-
where on the banks of the Rhine, the mere members were considered
to be easy of disposal, A padlock on a pantry, with the servants duly
corrupted, a Chcbb's lock on a wine-cellar (it had beeu arranged to
invite the wives, where necessary, on country visits) might secure for
the due stason a Home Minister or a Foreign Secretary.

Further, the little theatre in Dean Stieet, formerly known as the
temple of Miss Kelly, was to be hired as a place of inscrutable

have escaped the political j secresy ; and certain Ministers aud their Secretaries conveyed thither by

mind of the country.

A late visit paid by the
Right Hon. Benjamin
Disraeli to Paris, with an

a body of trusty adherents, sworn for specified sums, to save their
country from the uuabashtd tyranny of a reckless and too jocose
Minister. Of course, boldness—great boldness—was to be adopted, as
vital to the success of these designs,
interview—for obvious rea- Means were then to be devised to convince Haa Majesty that, at the
sons unnoticed in tbe Moni- last moment, she had been deserted by a profligate Cabinet. Calculating
teur — granted by the t upon the natural indignation of a generous mind, the Earl op Derby
Emperor of the French i would remain, with his carriage ordered, quite prepared to be sent for.
to ihe member for Bucks,: The Earl oe Derby, it was concluded, would be commanded to
was a subject of corre- j form a Cabinet; and not to be taken by surprise, he would immediately
sponding import to be duly J draw the subjoined list from his breast-pocket ("nearest his heart ")
considered by every reflect,- and submit it to his consenting Royal Mistress.

ing Englishman. First Lord of the Treasury . . . Earl of Derby.

<==--^ Grave, however, as were ^ f Mb. Samuel Warren (with a Peemge

^_ these events m their aspect, Lord High Chancellor . .j a.ad Ten Thousand a-Tear).

- We are convinced that the ; Chancellor of the Exchequer . . Me. Newdegate.

COUntiy_ will find itself, Lord President of the Council . . Eaul op Cardigan.

totally unprepared for the tremendous disclosure it is our solemn duty, j Lord^frrivy Seal.....Marquess of Granby (with a Peerage;.

as it is Our happy privilege, to make. The Visit to KnOWslej, the inter- | Foreign Secretary.....Right Hon. Benjamin Disraeli.

view at the Tuileries, had but One dire purpose. Lord Lieutenant of Lreland . . . Mr. Spooner (with a Peerage).

Parliament is co amanded by the Queen in her own Gazette to meet Home Secretary .....Major Beresford.

for the despatch of urgent business on trie third of February. We ., t ■ , . . . , , , . . .. . , ,

entreat the reader to mark the date. For the second of Feoruary, . This, * Wlllbe observed, is an imperfect l.st; in its incompleteness
then-the date of the second was, unquestionably, the inspiration 0f | leaving many important places to be filled by a tried fidelity, as mani-
the imperial mind-for the second, ™ say, a coup 'd'etat was planned- ' tested during a disastrous minority of the then triumphant Conservatives,
organised, moreover, in it, minute** details-that, if successful, would, : <?a the appointment of the Ministry a te egzapuic despatch was to
doubtless have been hailed as one of those master-strokes of political; ??ake known the fact at the Tuileries, and to be answered by the
genins that, though full a, a thunder-cloud with elemental mischief Emperor himself m terms ot glowing congratulation of the energy and
to a few, say, a few thousands, would, nevertheless, have b.en eulogised sa*^l%of ,the D!fhest Personage m the realm.

and sung as the sublimest act of patriotism that ever saved a doomed ! „ {he Parliament, was to have opened on the appointed third of
and devoted country. As the matter at present stands, with all the February ; the Prime Minister, with a few strokes of the pen, con-
foulness of the conspiracy exposed by one devoted quill (to which, at \ slSnmS t0 m«lted oblivion the soeech of his predecessor, at the time an
present, it is unnecessary further to allude), the b.filed and unsuc- ™™8pec^ alien somewhere m Prussia.

cessful traitors will meet/with their proper reward in the contempt of! .In the. sPeech from tbe Throne emphatic notice was to have been
the universal British nation. But let us be calm. Let us endeavour to I °fQUrhe .re-enactment of he Com Laws of the Protection of
master the indignation of the patriot bvtbe stern sobriety of the historian.! English Shipping, of the reversal of the late Sir Robert Peel s Tariff,
A wary, insidious ar'icle on The Declining Efficiency of Parliament \ aD-d of the withdrawal of the Grant from Maynooth. But of course,
appeared in the last Quarterly. The intelligent reader could not but! *hese measures were to be expected on the triumphant return of the
recognise in this article an attempt, too thinly disguised, to substitute I Conservative party to the fulness of power.

for the authority of the House of Commons-evoked and drawn as it is ! . Suuch 13 th? Programme of the Conservative'. coup, d etat arranged
from the very meanest as from the very highest of the people-the des- i {°\^e seLcond ^bruary. ,itiat the plot should now be defeated, and,
potism of an irresponsible oligarchy.' As Mr. Cobden »ould have | &r1*ei> r*at it should be emphatically denied by the baffled conspirators,
cmmuled up Ruesia, all the bears included, in his hand; so was it; the British nation owes solely to the devotion and vigilance of their
plain to the enlightened reader of the article in the Quarterly, that it i fneiid ever, J92Sf!C^.
was the burning desire of the Conservative party to crumple up Magna j — -

Charta, and to degrade to ihe merest bauble the royal prerogative.

Without, we trust, any unseemly boastfulness, we confess that we so i INVITATION TO THE AQUARIUM,

read that conspiracy in print; though at the same time, we are free to | q ■
confess that we were unprepared for anything like the amount of reck- j V come witn me,
lessness to which it is plain, the despair of office will, in the stress and *f . X01?' , s-ee
very hunger of ambition, urge an unprincipled party.' j M? Aquarium ;

We will now, with permission of the reader, proceed without further j yr 11 ^n \u^d
comment with our simple but terrible narrative. We have no doubt of Wo ca&P^\ roJr. •„„
attention: for we feel, as once the Conservatives felt, that we have the ! We 11 say' in8te&d> Vivarium
ears of the country with us. »-pjs a 0.jaS3 case

Mr. Disraeli returned to London full and gloomily radiant as a 1
Sibyl with inspiration from the Tuileries. It is known that a certain
mind is essentially fatalist. It is even so with the highest and the
lowest. One man has a " star," another a lucky sixpence. Hence the

In fluid space,
Where, over pebbles weedy,
Small fishes play :

date of the second of the next month was suggested and accepted as the You think thev must be seedv
date of promise, and next to the third, the day of the opening of thei

imperial parliament. My minnows thrive

We regret to say, but we wrife history, that certain retainers of There, all alive.
Lore Palmerston had been tampered with ; and it being made known j My gudgeons also flourish ;
that the Premik.r always retired to rest no later than ten on the eve of j Tench, carp, and jack,
the opening of Parliament, having oreviously taken a little white wine
posset and a rusk; it was resolved first to seize the noble Viscount in
his bed at a little before eleven. A balloon duly inflated, was to b-^

ready, with sworn aeronauts, in-Gardens. The Premier, placed

with all despatch in the balloon, the ascent was to be immediately
made, and the descent, if possible, so ordered that his Lordshio should
come down in some Prussian state, where the name of Palmerston
was, if possible, least beloved;—Russia being too distant to be
hoped for. To effect this with secresy and certainty, the valet of
his Lordship, on tbe solemn promise of the richest consulate in the gift

And stickleback,
Within that glass I nourish.

Then there's the roach,
And there's the l^ach,
And there's the crawfish crawling,

And efts and newts,
Don't call them brutes,
O'er one another sprawling !

O pretty sight!
' How I delight

Of Nature in the study !
The water here
Is, oh ! so clear :

It would not do if muddy.

My Dicky sings.
And claps his wings,
I know that what he wishes
Is to escape
His cage, and scrape
Acquaintance with the fishes.

Now tell me, do,

Suppose that you
Your mode of life could vary ;

Which would you like P

To be my Pike ?
Or to be my Canary?

Gentlemen's Boas.—A Garotfe-robber has been defined by an
alarming Swell, a great Boa of the Constrictor species.