DOI Heft:
November 8, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0190
182
FLINCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARJ.
[November 8, 1856.
" I'm Monarch of all I Survey !:
PARNASSUS POLICE OFFICE.
Yesterday, an individual of veiy jteEtlemanly exferior, of the nan,e
of Murdoch, was brought, before the worthy Magistrate of this office,
chafed witn the reproduction, from a very musty sbelf, of one
Vapid (known some three-quarters of a century ago as The Dramatist)
'o the great annoyance, if not worse, of a cro*d of peisons in the
Haymarket. John Baldwin Buckstone was also charged as an
accomplice.
Mb. Brown proved 'he foCr of the reproduction. He had seen the
Vapid as exposed ft the Hay market Theatre. It was a very
gainful exhibition. Mhs. Brown, his wife, a woman of a very lively
disposition, aecompauied him, and (bete the witness appealed greatly
distressed) had never smiled since.
Mr. Jones had, unfortunately for himself, been present at, t'-e ex-
hibition in question. He said unfortunately, inasmuch as v, had
cost him a situation of £50 a-year.
The worthy Magistrate desired the witness to explain himself.
Mr. Jones had no objection. The fact was he bad held the situation
of clerk in a mercantile bouse, of v< ry severe principles, in the City.
On leaving The Dramatist, he felt as though he had been drugged—
nocutsed, he believed, was the woid. He went to bed, and ought, as
as an American, might, if he chose, be examined through * sworn
interpreter.
Mr. Murdoch, with a very slight transatlantic accent, and with a
ight comedy bow, worth in itself ten pounds a-week, said he trusted
that a pretty smart study of the snow-white swan of Avon had, he
iatber guessed, made him as far as words went, a« through a Britisher
; a* his Worship. He thought that in reproducing Vapid i e was proving
himself a public benefactor. He considered himself the victim of a
base conspiracy.
" Hear! hear!" fiom Mr. Buckstone, who was sharnly reminded by
| the officer of r,he court, that he was m>t then before the footlights.
! Mk. Murdoch continued. He believed that his Vapid was a most
I lively, most ^mi-stirring peson. He, had played Vapid at New York
I for his beoefir,; when The Dramatist was expressly bespoken by the
j united body of undei taker* ; who as a further mark of xespect, posted
two mutes at tbe doors of gallery, pit, and boxes.
Mr. Buckstone observed that undertakers were generally the best
judges of private boxes. {Roars of laughter.)
Mk. Murdoch said be could if he liked, but wouldu't condescend to
the act, produce several witnesses wno would testify to the over-
poweiing hilarity of his Vapid. One, however, be might, name. He
alluded then to tbe respected matron who sold apples, oranges, a bill
of the play, &c., in the pit of the Haymarket. She was quite ready to
depose that in his great scene — his worship would, of courte,
ir.-tipctively kno-v that he alluded >o the china-closet tceue—his
Vapid had so far warmed the woman's apple-basket that more than two
ginger-beer bottles went off in spontaneous explosion. He thought
'his the purest, the highest, and the most, flattering criticism, because
nost involuntary and unconscious on the part of the ginger-beer
aforesaid.
The Magistrate said be would certainly reserve the point of the
finger-beer in favour of the accused. His worship then desired to
know what Mb. Bucks'ionje had to say in his defence. Vapid had
been exhibited on his premises; and ne was clearly a party to the
exposute.
Mr. Buckstonr (amidst shouts of laughter in which his Worship
did not disdain to join) said the facr. was, he was one of the easiest of
managers. He *asu't, a trayeoy manager and didn't fiae his cat for
swearing. No: aiid he didn't walk the stage at rehearsals, and cry
"silence" when his own boots creaked. No: and when he reared h's
great dagger, he meanr, h's great apple scene as Sim in the Wild Oats,
he didn't make his actors and actresses wear list slippers that they
migutn't spoil his tffects.
The Magistrate said Mr. Bcckstone was wandering from the
point.
Mr. Buckstone said he knew it. " To walk was human, to wander
was nivine." He could only say that he gloried in his art. He had
lefu.vfd a baronetcy and a visionary income because hampered with
the condition of his quitting the stage. Why should he leave the stage ?
If be'd been made a Baronet without condition* he'd have had " Bart."
p-ioted in led in the playbills, with a bioody 83?" pointing to tbe dignity
of
Eis Worship said he must really call Mr. Buckstone to his
de'e'ice.
Mk. Buckstone—Certainly: always attend to the ca'l. Well then,
Murdoch said he knew tbere was still life in Vapid: but for his
(Btjckston*'s) part, he said, and still thought, tbere was more lite iua
blue-bottle fly tnat was drowned in the small beer of George the
, Third. The fact was, as be'd said, he «as an easy manager, and being
was his custom, 10 have risen at seven; but was so much overpoweied dt, the time occupied with a ne* Scanish ballet,-
by what he bad swallowert at, the Haymarket, that it look his wi'e, her Hi, Worship (with evident interest). A new Spanish ballet P
mother-in-law, toe tu.memaid, and charwoman all together to wake turn. Mr. Buckstone Si Senor ! a. new Hispanolian ballet. I shall be
He did not leach the Cityuutil an hour after his time, and the partners I verv nappy t0 wrjte vour Worship an order for the first night,
of the firm (they were strenuous hearers of Mr. Spurgeon) on Hi* Worship (with great dignity). Justice is blind, Mr. Buckstone,
becoming ac manned wirh the cause of his somnolency, resolutelv j ailfj cat)riof; see a Pallet
showea him to the door; in fact, discharged him. He still felt very ; Mk. Buckstone was about to observe, when-
weak indeed horn what he bad taken at the Haymarket. (>e wortDy Magnate said be had fully considered the cse ; toe
Mr. Robinson deposed that he had seen Vapid; and thought the \ uUbljc must be uiotected from s-cb exhibitions as The Dramatist, and
exhibition a verv daring attempt, on tbe proverbial good nature ; ue should therefore sentence bo-h the orisoners to th^e months haid
of a British audience. In a sanatory point of view he believed labour (with nobody t0 see them) in Cumberland's Wheel of Fortune.
that such an exposure was attendd with the worst results, inasmuch rffie pdrt,ies through Mr Nebuchadnezzar, of the respected firm
as it tended to create depression of the spin s, a sinking of the heart, 0f Nebuchadnezzar and Grass, gave notice of appeal.
<»nd pxrie,me melancholy.
Mr. Murdoch, as baviDg reproduced tbe object in question, begged to
h? allowed to ask the witness if he could stare any one case in which
Vapid had so operated ? The Trench Doctor Forster
Mr. Robinson. Certainly. A gentlewoman of his acquaintance, the j Doctor Louis is a great him,
lady of a oistinguished si'enft",s officer of the Hebrew persuasion, was j fje wQips !ae journals now and then,
present ou the first exhibition of The Dramatist, and had been in a
state of hysteria f-ver since. Even her husband couldn't arrest it.
Tbe worthy Magistrate remarked that the case wore a very ugly
aspect; aud, as it then aopeare 1 to bim, the accused parties were liable j £QW _0 y0if tmink they _ like Cayenne ?
to be punished unaer the Police Act. However, he would hear what j______
they had to say for themselves; and, warning them that what they said i
would be taken down, and used against them, desired Murdoch to; The Gentle Fraternity oe Boredom.—Boie me, and I'll bore
enter upon bis defence. His Worship furtber observed that Murdocu, I thee.
Ours he'd whip, if they would dance
Out of England into France—
Out of France he'd whip tnern then—
FLINCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARJ.
[November 8, 1856.
" I'm Monarch of all I Survey !:
PARNASSUS POLICE OFFICE.
Yesterday, an individual of veiy jteEtlemanly exferior, of the nan,e
of Murdoch, was brought, before the worthy Magistrate of this office,
chafed witn the reproduction, from a very musty sbelf, of one
Vapid (known some three-quarters of a century ago as The Dramatist)
'o the great annoyance, if not worse, of a cro*d of peisons in the
Haymarket. John Baldwin Buckstone was also charged as an
accomplice.
Mb. Brown proved 'he foCr of the reproduction. He had seen the
Vapid as exposed ft the Hay market Theatre. It was a very
gainful exhibition. Mhs. Brown, his wife, a woman of a very lively
disposition, aecompauied him, and (bete the witness appealed greatly
distressed) had never smiled since.
Mr. Jones had, unfortunately for himself, been present at, t'-e ex-
hibition in question. He said unfortunately, inasmuch as v, had
cost him a situation of £50 a-year.
The worthy Magistrate desired the witness to explain himself.
Mr. Jones had no objection. The fact was he bad held the situation
of clerk in a mercantile bouse, of v< ry severe principles, in the City.
On leaving The Dramatist, he felt as though he had been drugged—
nocutsed, he believed, was the woid. He went to bed, and ought, as
as an American, might, if he chose, be examined through * sworn
interpreter.
Mr. Murdoch, with a very slight transatlantic accent, and with a
ight comedy bow, worth in itself ten pounds a-week, said he trusted
that a pretty smart study of the snow-white swan of Avon had, he
iatber guessed, made him as far as words went, a« through a Britisher
; a* his Worship. He thought that in reproducing Vapid i e was proving
himself a public benefactor. He considered himself the victim of a
base conspiracy.
" Hear! hear!" fiom Mr. Buckstone, who was sharnly reminded by
| the officer of r,he court, that he was m>t then before the footlights.
! Mk. Murdoch continued. He believed that his Vapid was a most
I lively, most ^mi-stirring peson. He, had played Vapid at New York
I for his beoefir,; when The Dramatist was expressly bespoken by the
j united body of undei taker* ; who as a further mark of xespect, posted
two mutes at tbe doors of gallery, pit, and boxes.
Mr. Buckstone observed that undertakers were generally the best
judges of private boxes. {Roars of laughter.)
Mk. Murdoch said be could if he liked, but wouldu't condescend to
the act, produce several witnesses wno would testify to the over-
poweiing hilarity of his Vapid. One, however, be might, name. He
alluded then to tbe respected matron who sold apples, oranges, a bill
of the play, &c., in the pit of the Haymarket. She was quite ready to
depose that in his great scene — his worship would, of courte,
ir.-tipctively kno-v that he alluded >o the china-closet tceue—his
Vapid had so far warmed the woman's apple-basket that more than two
ginger-beer bottles went off in spontaneous explosion. He thought
'his the purest, the highest, and the most, flattering criticism, because
nost involuntary and unconscious on the part of the ginger-beer
aforesaid.
The Magistrate said be would certainly reserve the point of the
finger-beer in favour of the accused. His worship then desired to
know what Mb. Bucks'ionje had to say in his defence. Vapid had
been exhibited on his premises; and ne was clearly a party to the
exposute.
Mr. Buckstonr (amidst shouts of laughter in which his Worship
did not disdain to join) said the facr. was, he was one of the easiest of
managers. He *asu't, a trayeoy manager and didn't fiae his cat for
swearing. No: aiid he didn't walk the stage at rehearsals, and cry
"silence" when his own boots creaked. No: and when he reared h's
great dagger, he meanr, h's great apple scene as Sim in the Wild Oats,
he didn't make his actors and actresses wear list slippers that they
migutn't spoil his tffects.
The Magistrate said Mr. Bcckstone was wandering from the
point.
Mr. Buckstone said he knew it. " To walk was human, to wander
was nivine." He could only say that he gloried in his art. He had
lefu.vfd a baronetcy and a visionary income because hampered with
the condition of his quitting the stage. Why should he leave the stage ?
If be'd been made a Baronet without condition* he'd have had " Bart."
p-ioted in led in the playbills, with a bioody 83?" pointing to tbe dignity
of
Eis Worship said he must really call Mr. Buckstone to his
de'e'ice.
Mk. Buckstone—Certainly: always attend to the ca'l. Well then,
Murdoch said he knew tbere was still life in Vapid: but for his
(Btjckston*'s) part, he said, and still thought, tbere was more lite iua
blue-bottle fly tnat was drowned in the small beer of George the
, Third. The fact was, as be'd said, he «as an easy manager, and being
was his custom, 10 have risen at seven; but was so much overpoweied dt, the time occupied with a ne* Scanish ballet,-
by what he bad swallowert at, the Haymarket, that it look his wi'e, her Hi, Worship (with evident interest). A new Spanish ballet P
mother-in-law, toe tu.memaid, and charwoman all together to wake turn. Mr. Buckstone Si Senor ! a. new Hispanolian ballet. I shall be
He did not leach the Cityuutil an hour after his time, and the partners I verv nappy t0 wrjte vour Worship an order for the first night,
of the firm (they were strenuous hearers of Mr. Spurgeon) on Hi* Worship (with great dignity). Justice is blind, Mr. Buckstone,
becoming ac manned wirh the cause of his somnolency, resolutelv j ailfj cat)riof; see a Pallet
showea him to the door; in fact, discharged him. He still felt very ; Mk. Buckstone was about to observe, when-
weak indeed horn what he bad taken at the Haymarket. (>e wortDy Magnate said be had fully considered the cse ; toe
Mr. Robinson deposed that he had seen Vapid; and thought the \ uUbljc must be uiotected from s-cb exhibitions as The Dramatist, and
exhibition a verv daring attempt, on tbe proverbial good nature ; ue should therefore sentence bo-h the orisoners to th^e months haid
of a British audience. In a sanatory point of view he believed labour (with nobody t0 see them) in Cumberland's Wheel of Fortune.
that such an exposure was attendd with the worst results, inasmuch rffie pdrt,ies through Mr Nebuchadnezzar, of the respected firm
as it tended to create depression of the spin s, a sinking of the heart, 0f Nebuchadnezzar and Grass, gave notice of appeal.
<»nd pxrie,me melancholy.
Mr. Murdoch, as baviDg reproduced tbe object in question, begged to
h? allowed to ask the witness if he could stare any one case in which
Vapid had so operated ? The Trench Doctor Forster
Mr. Robinson. Certainly. A gentlewoman of his acquaintance, the j Doctor Louis is a great him,
lady of a oistinguished si'enft",s officer of the Hebrew persuasion, was j fje wQips !ae journals now and then,
present ou the first exhibition of The Dramatist, and had been in a
state of hysteria f-ver since. Even her husband couldn't arrest it.
Tbe worthy Magistrate remarked that the case wore a very ugly
aspect; aud, as it then aopeare 1 to bim, the accused parties were liable j £QW _0 y0if tmink they _ like Cayenne ?
to be punished unaer the Police Act. However, he would hear what j______
they had to say for themselves; and, warning them that what they said i
would be taken down, and used against them, desired Murdoch to; The Gentle Fraternity oe Boredom.—Boie me, and I'll bore
enter upon bis defence. His Worship furtber observed that Murdocu, I thee.
Ours he'd whip, if they would dance
Out of England into France—
Out of France he'd whip tnern then—