222
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 0, 1856.
I be prigs as was never born to the bisness, wich 1 ope I'm wun of those.
SET A THIEF TO CATCH A THIEF." Now, Mr. Punch, these ere bein my sentiments, I've my own hiciears
J ow prigs is to be treated in quod, and now hevery body's a turnin over
the subjec in regard o these ere tikit-o-leavers, prap« you'll think I've
a rite to speke my mind on that pint, wich if you'll print this inter-
dukshun, I opes to do in my neckst.
" So nc acre at present
'* From your umbel servant,
"James Dabby."
[Being some Hints on Prison Discipline, addressed to Mr. Punch by
an old Ticket-of-Leaver.)
ESPt cted Sib,,—I rite this, opin
you will egskuse herrors
of grammer,wich I dident
appen to git my time in
quod wen skools was so
much thort on as they is
no w-a-days, and youn guns
is put on the slate or
spellin book, and not on
t,be mill or the krank as
they used to was wen I
fust see the hinside of a
jug, wich it was forte en
days summery forpriggin
pots in Bridewell this
many a long yere ago.
O ^sumever I didnt ort to
say I wornt pat to skool
nether, for at skool I was
every blessed minit of all
that forteen days, and
preshus deep masturs I ad too, and I nowed a deal more nor was good
for me wen I corned out. There warnt none o' your silent and separate
games then ;—it wai thick as thieves you may say, and hevery opper-
tewnity for the old ands to put the youngans hup to hevery lark they
knowed theirselves, and if a boy was common sharp, he didn't ort ever
to need to do another onest days work arter he corned out, but could
keep hisself heasy and cumfurtable in the famly way, wich is priggin,
you know, Mr. Punch.
" Well I ad twenty-too yeres of a prig's life such as it is—hinside and
bout, ruff and smootne, hup and down, four munths out o' quod mostly
to are munths in, wich it's wot we considers our reglars about-, takin
one yere with anuther—wereby I think I ort to know as much about
jugs as a few. Well I've guv up the priggin lay now, Mr. Punch, and
am livin on the skware, workin ard and onest for my livelyhood, under
one of the hold tikets-o'-leve, wich they didnt give tikets then till a man
ad pretty well wurked his time out, hover the worter, and sot abowt a
sickener of priggin, and showed it preshus plane and no mistake. But
nowadays bless you Im ashamed to call myself a tiket-o'-leaver, wot,
with the garottio, and life-presetverin, and cribcrackin that's a-goin
on, life aint safe, ami an onest ard-wurkin man cant keep wot he arns
or take it ome cumfutable to his wife and famiy, but out, comes a raskal
and gives you a clip on the ead, and denes you hout in no time, & ooks
it, and no crusher within a mile of you if you dyed for it,
' "Now this 'ere, mind yer, Mr. Punch, cuojs kweerish arter all
they've dun and torked and spent in wot they calls meliratin prisun
dissaplin, which I'd melierate em, a set o raskais, if I ad the care of a
jug. Bless yer, I knows em, and smawl blame to me if hany, avin spent
so much time along with that sort, and bein' mostly hup to their moves.
Now, look ere, 'taint chaplins as '11 do it, and 'taint frkools as '11 do it,
nayther, and 'taint seperate and silent si»tems nor sociated sistems, nor
wardurs, nor caps with masks to em, nor none o that ere sort a thing.
It'a a dele plesenter to snooze in the piisun chapel than to be swettin
on the mill or the crank, or tarein your ands to peaces with that blessed
hokum. Them chaplins has a gra"e say in a jug now a days; and any
flat can gammon a chaplin, and you don't suppose, now do yer, if a cove
nows as owhe'li get the chaplin'a good word if so be he can spit hout
a lot o texts ov a mornin, and come a long mug, and pitch it strong in
the g'ownin and_repeutin.cs line, that he won't try it on uncommon ard
and evy—and stick his tung in his cheke, when the parson's back's
turned ? And as for skoolin, all the readia and ritin and rithmetic in
the world won't make a prig like work, when there's a heasier livin to
be got by priggio, and jugs is made so uncommon pleasant that it's
quite a comfort to be quodded now and then, particlur winter times,
wich trampin is a^d lines in cold wether; not but wot prigs isn't grate-
ful for skoolin—they can rede Jack Shepherd and such like and rite to
their pals, and their blowens, and if they takes to screevin, or forgin or
-such like, nenmanchip corns useful.
"No, Mr. Punch, chaplins and skools won't do it, you may take your
davy, arter you wunce gets coves hinside a jug. If so be you can keep
em out by sich menes in corse youd better ; but I dunnow neither. As
fur as ever I see, taint so much want o churchin and skoolin as
makes a prig of a lad at fust—nor want o wittles nether—nor drink
nether. In coarse there's sum takes to priggin acos they wants a belli-
ful and dusn't no ware to git it, and there's sum as '11 do anythink for
msh, wunce they gits a taste for it. But the wun thing as makes
most prigs I ever see, Mr. Punch, is just atin ard work—that's wot it
is. There s coves born as never arned a mele in their lives, and won't
never arn one if so be they can git their meles without arnin on em.
And them sort is wot I call nat'ial prigs—acos there is a many gets to
THE NEW RUSSIAN
If the Russian Government are anxious to restore their sunken
navy, they could not hit upon a safer plan than to despatch Sir
Chables Napier to Sebastopol; for be was such a considerate wet-
nurse to their ships at Cronstadt—watching them with the most
maternal care, and preventing them from coming to the least harm—
that it is clear they could not have a better hand at bringing up a
Prussian Fleet; and having brought them up well, he would be able to
finish their nautical education by giving them the very best advice,
counselling them tenderly never to leave the harbour, so long as an
English three-decker was in sight, as it would only be cowardly to take
advantage of such a poor Unprotected Female as Britannia is when
she ventures out to &ea.
d r e d
THE OVERDUE COMET.
Where is the Comet that was said to be due a few weeks ago, and
to have been seen, or supposed to have been seen, in Ireland; the
object really seen there, and mistaken for the comet, having probably
been the rising moonP The terrible catastrophes which are almost,
daily occurring require a comet, or some other extraordinary influence
in the air, to account for them. If, however, there is a comet at present
somewhere near the earth, it has not brought, altogether bad luck.
Perhaps the proverb respecting an ill-wind applies to Comets ; and one
of the astounding phenomena of the present crisis is the fact that we
have an Italian Opera going on at this time of the year, and Gbisi
singing in it, when, hitherto, we should as soon have expected to hear
the nightingale.
There's Nothing in it.
The electors of Southwark have been presenting Sib Charles
Napieb with a hat. It seems to us a piece of the most sublime
mockery, that we should really laugh at if it were not so unfeeling, to
present a hat to a man who has completely lost his head !'
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 0, 1856.
I be prigs as was never born to the bisness, wich 1 ope I'm wun of those.
SET A THIEF TO CATCH A THIEF." Now, Mr. Punch, these ere bein my sentiments, I've my own hiciears
J ow prigs is to be treated in quod, and now hevery body's a turnin over
the subjec in regard o these ere tikit-o-leavers, prap« you'll think I've
a rite to speke my mind on that pint, wich if you'll print this inter-
dukshun, I opes to do in my neckst.
" So nc acre at present
'* From your umbel servant,
"James Dabby."
[Being some Hints on Prison Discipline, addressed to Mr. Punch by
an old Ticket-of-Leaver.)
ESPt cted Sib,,—I rite this, opin
you will egskuse herrors
of grammer,wich I dident
appen to git my time in
quod wen skools was so
much thort on as they is
no w-a-days, and youn guns
is put on the slate or
spellin book, and not on
t,be mill or the krank as
they used to was wen I
fust see the hinside of a
jug, wich it was forte en
days summery forpriggin
pots in Bridewell this
many a long yere ago.
O ^sumever I didnt ort to
say I wornt pat to skool
nether, for at skool I was
every blessed minit of all
that forteen days, and
preshus deep masturs I ad too, and I nowed a deal more nor was good
for me wen I corned out. There warnt none o' your silent and separate
games then ;—it wai thick as thieves you may say, and hevery opper-
tewnity for the old ands to put the youngans hup to hevery lark they
knowed theirselves, and if a boy was common sharp, he didn't ort ever
to need to do another onest days work arter he corned out, but could
keep hisself heasy and cumfurtable in the famly way, wich is priggin,
you know, Mr. Punch.
" Well I ad twenty-too yeres of a prig's life such as it is—hinside and
bout, ruff and smootne, hup and down, four munths out o' quod mostly
to are munths in, wich it's wot we considers our reglars about-, takin
one yere with anuther—wereby I think I ort to know as much about
jugs as a few. Well I've guv up the priggin lay now, Mr. Punch, and
am livin on the skware, workin ard and onest for my livelyhood, under
one of the hold tikets-o'-leve, wich they didnt give tikets then till a man
ad pretty well wurked his time out, hover the worter, and sot abowt a
sickener of priggin, and showed it preshus plane and no mistake. But
nowadays bless you Im ashamed to call myself a tiket-o'-leaver, wot,
with the garottio, and life-presetverin, and cribcrackin that's a-goin
on, life aint safe, ami an onest ard-wurkin man cant keep wot he arns
or take it ome cumfutable to his wife and famiy, but out, comes a raskal
and gives you a clip on the ead, and denes you hout in no time, & ooks
it, and no crusher within a mile of you if you dyed for it,
' "Now this 'ere, mind yer, Mr. Punch, cuojs kweerish arter all
they've dun and torked and spent in wot they calls meliratin prisun
dissaplin, which I'd melierate em, a set o raskais, if I ad the care of a
jug. Bless yer, I knows em, and smawl blame to me if hany, avin spent
so much time along with that sort, and bein' mostly hup to their moves.
Now, look ere, 'taint chaplins as '11 do it, and 'taint frkools as '11 do it,
nayther, and 'taint seperate and silent si»tems nor sociated sistems, nor
wardurs, nor caps with masks to em, nor none o that ere sort a thing.
It'a a dele plesenter to snooze in the piisun chapel than to be swettin
on the mill or the crank, or tarein your ands to peaces with that blessed
hokum. Them chaplins has a gra"e say in a jug now a days; and any
flat can gammon a chaplin, and you don't suppose, now do yer, if a cove
nows as owhe'li get the chaplin'a good word if so be he can spit hout
a lot o texts ov a mornin, and come a long mug, and pitch it strong in
the g'ownin and_repeutin.cs line, that he won't try it on uncommon ard
and evy—and stick his tung in his cheke, when the parson's back's
turned ? And as for skoolin, all the readia and ritin and rithmetic in
the world won't make a prig like work, when there's a heasier livin to
be got by priggio, and jugs is made so uncommon pleasant that it's
quite a comfort to be quodded now and then, particlur winter times,
wich trampin is a^d lines in cold wether; not but wot prigs isn't grate-
ful for skoolin—they can rede Jack Shepherd and such like and rite to
their pals, and their blowens, and if they takes to screevin, or forgin or
-such like, nenmanchip corns useful.
"No, Mr. Punch, chaplins and skools won't do it, you may take your
davy, arter you wunce gets coves hinside a jug. If so be you can keep
em out by sich menes in corse youd better ; but I dunnow neither. As
fur as ever I see, taint so much want o churchin and skoolin as
makes a prig of a lad at fust—nor want o wittles nether—nor drink
nether. In coarse there's sum takes to priggin acos they wants a belli-
ful and dusn't no ware to git it, and there's sum as '11 do anythink for
msh, wunce they gits a taste for it. But the wun thing as makes
most prigs I ever see, Mr. Punch, is just atin ard work—that's wot it
is. There s coves born as never arned a mele in their lives, and won't
never arn one if so be they can git their meles without arnin on em.
And them sort is wot I call nat'ial prigs—acos there is a many gets to
THE NEW RUSSIAN
If the Russian Government are anxious to restore their sunken
navy, they could not hit upon a safer plan than to despatch Sir
Chables Napier to Sebastopol; for be was such a considerate wet-
nurse to their ships at Cronstadt—watching them with the most
maternal care, and preventing them from coming to the least harm—
that it is clear they could not have a better hand at bringing up a
Prussian Fleet; and having brought them up well, he would be able to
finish their nautical education by giving them the very best advice,
counselling them tenderly never to leave the harbour, so long as an
English three-decker was in sight, as it would only be cowardly to take
advantage of such a poor Unprotected Female as Britannia is when
she ventures out to &ea.
d r e d
THE OVERDUE COMET.
Where is the Comet that was said to be due a few weeks ago, and
to have been seen, or supposed to have been seen, in Ireland; the
object really seen there, and mistaken for the comet, having probably
been the rising moonP The terrible catastrophes which are almost,
daily occurring require a comet, or some other extraordinary influence
in the air, to account for them. If, however, there is a comet at present
somewhere near the earth, it has not brought, altogether bad luck.
Perhaps the proverb respecting an ill-wind applies to Comets ; and one
of the astounding phenomena of the present crisis is the fact that we
have an Italian Opera going on at this time of the year, and Gbisi
singing in it, when, hitherto, we should as soon have expected to hear
the nightingale.
There's Nothing in it.
The electors of Southwark have been presenting Sib Charles
Napieb with a hat. It seems to us a piece of the most sublime
mockery, that we should really laugh at if it were not so unfeeling, to
present a hat to a man who has completely lost his head !'