DOI Heft:
July 25, 1863
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16872#0051
JtiLY 25, 1863.]
39
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE WONDERS OF THE SEA-SHORE.
Contributed by “ Glaucus,” who is staying at a quiet watering-place,
five miles from anywhere, and three from a Railway Station.
Monday if) after breakfast, lying on the beach.
Wonder if it is Monday, or
Tuesday ?
Wonder what time it is P
Wonder if it will be a
fine day ?
Wonder what I shall
do if it is ? On second
thoughts wonder, what I
shall do if it isn’t ?
Wonder if there are any
letters P
Wonder who that is in a
white petticoat with her
hair down ?
Wonder if she came yes-
terday or the day before ?
Wonder if she’s pretty ?
Wonder what I’ve been
' thinking about for the last
ten minutes P
Wonder how the boat-
men here make a livelihood
by lying all day at full
length on the beach ?
Wonder why every one
who sits on the shore
throws pebbles into the sea?
Wonder what there is for dinner ?
Wonder what I shall do all the afternoon ?
Same day, after lunch, lying on the beach.
Wonder who in the house beside myself is partial to my dry sherry ?
Wonder what there is for dinner ?
Wonder what’s in the paper to-day P
Wonder if it’s hot in London ? Should say it was.
Wonder how I ever could live in London ?
Wonder if there’s any news from America ?
Wonder what tooral looral means in a chorus ?
Children playing near me, pretty, very.
Wonder if that little boy intended to hit me on the nose with a
stone ?
Wonder if he’s going to do it again ? Hope not.
Wonder if I should like to be a shrimp.
JOKES EOR “LAUGHING JACKASSES/’
During the discussion of Mr. Bass’s motion for the suppression of
Street Music, several excellent jokes were uttered by Members when
describing the serious annoyances to which hard working statesmen,
mathematicians, authors, and artists were subjected which deserve
to be recorded in Punch, as they provoked an amount of risibility not
usually produced by senatorial eloquence.
Mr. Bass said “ From early morning till late at night the inhabitants of the
metropolis w ere annoyed by incessant discords. Bands were continually playing
north, south, east, and west. That very morning he found four all at work together
in Eaton Square and its neighbourhood, one in front of the residence of Sir Richard
Mayne, and another before that of the Home Secretary. (A Laugh.) It was
areal hindrance to the serious business of life. (A Laugh.) Men engaged in
severe mental occupations, like Mr. Babbage and others, were actually unable
during the greater part of the day to continue their studies. Mr. Babbage had
told him that one-fourth of his time was consumed by the hindrances occasioned
by street bands, and that in the course of a few days he was interrupted 1S2 times.
(A Laugh ) The late Lord Canning told Sir Richard Mayne that on one
occasion, when writing a despatch of great importance, a serious error occurred
owing to the noise created by a band under his window. (A Laugh)”
Lord Fermoy maintained that the existing law was sufficiently stringent.
Mr. Babbage had put it in force on several occasions, and had punished, he
thought unjustly, a great many poor musicians. If street bands were put down
many other things must follow. Huge drays full of beer barrels, even though the
name of “Bass” might be inscribed on them (a laugh) were a serious
annoyance and inconvenience.
Mr. C. Bentinck could not admit that because the street bands were paid they
ought to be tolerated. He lived in a thoroughfare having a large square at one end
and a street at the other, and which was infested with bands, organs, wandering
minstrels, negro melodists, and every species of musician. (Laughter.) If one
man in a whole street liked this music or this noise, that was no reason why
all the other inhabitants should be annoyed. Street music not only prevented
people from obtaining rest and quiet, it disturbed them when making calcula-
tions, or even when studying their speeches. (Laughter.)
Mr. Malins thought that every man ought to be protected in the peaceful enjoy-
ment of his own home. He frequently had to endure a grinding organ on one side
and a noisy band on the other, (a Laugh ) He had work to do at his own
home which involved a great deal of reading*and study, and he had seriously enter-
tained the notion of living away from London in consequence of these nuisances.
He often told his servant to send away street musicians, but they only moved off a
few yards. He was sometimes favoured with a round of the “ Old Hundredth,”
beginning about 11 and ending at half-past 12 at night. (&. Laugh.) That
was no really laughing matter.
And Mr. Brdoe thought that “ It was all very well for those who disliked, or
who possessed a very refined taste for, music to seek to do away with the bands in
the streets ; but if the Hon. Member for Derby were to poll his own household he
would find the greater number of votes recorded in their favour (a laugh) i
and he did not think it, therefore, desirable that it should be placed in the power
of every churlish person, or every man who happened to be busy, to drive music
out of the streets. (Hear) ”
And so the subject was dropped, and the “Laughing Jackasses”
(May they eat, dirt!) are to continue to have their long ears tickled by
the maddening music of the streets.
Same day, after an early dinner, lying on the beach.
Wonder why I can never get any fish ?
Wonder why my landlady introduces cinders into the gravy?
Wonder more than ever who there is at my lodgings so partial to my
dry sherry ?
Wonder if that’s the Coast of Trance in the distance ?
Teel inclined for a quiet conversation with my fellow-man.
A Boatman approaches. I wonder (to the Boatman) if it will be a
fine day to-morrow ? He wonders too ? We both wonder together ?
Wonder (again to the Boatman) if the Bail will make much difference
to the place ? He shakes his head and says “ Ah 1 he wonders ! ” and
leaves me.
Wonder what age I was last birthday ?
Wonder if Police Inspectors are as a rule fond of bathing ?
Wonder what gave me that idea?
Wonder what I shall do all this evening ?
Same day, after supper. Moonlight, lying on the beach.
Wonder if there ever was such a creature as a mermaid ?
Wonder several times more than ever who it is that’s so fond of my
dry sherry ?
Wonder if the Pope can swim !
Wonder what made me think of that ?
Wonder if 1 should like to go up in a balloon?
Wonder what, Speke and Grant had for dinner to-day P
Wonder if the Zoological Gardens are open at sunrise ?
Wonder what ] shall do to-morrow?
Grand Cricket Match at the Oval.—The Twenty-Two “ All
Comers” from Bichmond and Twickenham v. The Eleven Kew-comers.
After the game, the eleven, if winners, will treat the visitors to a
victorious performance on the Bells. The Peal of the Kew-comers is
very refreshing.
EBAGMENT POUND AT WIMBLEDON.
17th July, 1863.
“ Vain the Bather’s shooting grand,
Vain the Captain’s vaunted hand,
Vain, young Colin’s steady pull,
Making sure of eye of bull:
Brave Alcides cast away
All his Labours here to-day:
Gallant Elciio, noble soul,
Thou art lowest on the roll,
Lovat, Master, on the ground
Thou has now thy Masters found,
Pergusson, ’tis more than clear
That thy bullets don’t lodge here.
Nor ’tis" Parquharson’s to earn
What the battle’s fate may turn.
Caledonia, take thy fate:
Bow before the English Eight.
Clearer licking may not be.
Thou art beat by Eighty-Three.
And the gorgeous Challenge Shield
England carries from the field.”
A Heaton Boy.
Out-of-Door Gamester and Summer Sporting Register.
Pedestrianism.—A large assemblage is expected to witness a novel
Walking Match against time. An Amateur has backed himself to
walk into a Pigeon Pie in less than two minutes.
Archery.—The shooting match for children under eight years of age
is to commence in a few days. The targets will be provided with bull’s-
eyes from the nearest sweet shops.
39
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE WONDERS OF THE SEA-SHORE.
Contributed by “ Glaucus,” who is staying at a quiet watering-place,
five miles from anywhere, and three from a Railway Station.
Monday if) after breakfast, lying on the beach.
Wonder if it is Monday, or
Tuesday ?
Wonder what time it is P
Wonder if it will be a
fine day ?
Wonder what I shall
do if it is ? On second
thoughts wonder, what I
shall do if it isn’t ?
Wonder if there are any
letters P
Wonder who that is in a
white petticoat with her
hair down ?
Wonder if she came yes-
terday or the day before ?
Wonder if she’s pretty ?
Wonder what I’ve been
' thinking about for the last
ten minutes P
Wonder how the boat-
men here make a livelihood
by lying all day at full
length on the beach ?
Wonder why every one
who sits on the shore
throws pebbles into the sea?
Wonder what there is for dinner ?
Wonder what I shall do all the afternoon ?
Same day, after lunch, lying on the beach.
Wonder who in the house beside myself is partial to my dry sherry ?
Wonder what there is for dinner ?
Wonder what’s in the paper to-day P
Wonder if it’s hot in London ? Should say it was.
Wonder how I ever could live in London ?
Wonder if there’s any news from America ?
Wonder what tooral looral means in a chorus ?
Children playing near me, pretty, very.
Wonder if that little boy intended to hit me on the nose with a
stone ?
Wonder if he’s going to do it again ? Hope not.
Wonder if I should like to be a shrimp.
JOKES EOR “LAUGHING JACKASSES/’
During the discussion of Mr. Bass’s motion for the suppression of
Street Music, several excellent jokes were uttered by Members when
describing the serious annoyances to which hard working statesmen,
mathematicians, authors, and artists were subjected which deserve
to be recorded in Punch, as they provoked an amount of risibility not
usually produced by senatorial eloquence.
Mr. Bass said “ From early morning till late at night the inhabitants of the
metropolis w ere annoyed by incessant discords. Bands were continually playing
north, south, east, and west. That very morning he found four all at work together
in Eaton Square and its neighbourhood, one in front of the residence of Sir Richard
Mayne, and another before that of the Home Secretary. (A Laugh.) It was
areal hindrance to the serious business of life. (A Laugh.) Men engaged in
severe mental occupations, like Mr. Babbage and others, were actually unable
during the greater part of the day to continue their studies. Mr. Babbage had
told him that one-fourth of his time was consumed by the hindrances occasioned
by street bands, and that in the course of a few days he was interrupted 1S2 times.
(A Laugh ) The late Lord Canning told Sir Richard Mayne that on one
occasion, when writing a despatch of great importance, a serious error occurred
owing to the noise created by a band under his window. (A Laugh)”
Lord Fermoy maintained that the existing law was sufficiently stringent.
Mr. Babbage had put it in force on several occasions, and had punished, he
thought unjustly, a great many poor musicians. If street bands were put down
many other things must follow. Huge drays full of beer barrels, even though the
name of “Bass” might be inscribed on them (a laugh) were a serious
annoyance and inconvenience.
Mr. C. Bentinck could not admit that because the street bands were paid they
ought to be tolerated. He lived in a thoroughfare having a large square at one end
and a street at the other, and which was infested with bands, organs, wandering
minstrels, negro melodists, and every species of musician. (Laughter.) If one
man in a whole street liked this music or this noise, that was no reason why
all the other inhabitants should be annoyed. Street music not only prevented
people from obtaining rest and quiet, it disturbed them when making calcula-
tions, or even when studying their speeches. (Laughter.)
Mr. Malins thought that every man ought to be protected in the peaceful enjoy-
ment of his own home. He frequently had to endure a grinding organ on one side
and a noisy band on the other, (a Laugh ) He had work to do at his own
home which involved a great deal of reading*and study, and he had seriously enter-
tained the notion of living away from London in consequence of these nuisances.
He often told his servant to send away street musicians, but they only moved off a
few yards. He was sometimes favoured with a round of the “ Old Hundredth,”
beginning about 11 and ending at half-past 12 at night. (&. Laugh.) That
was no really laughing matter.
And Mr. Brdoe thought that “ It was all very well for those who disliked, or
who possessed a very refined taste for, music to seek to do away with the bands in
the streets ; but if the Hon. Member for Derby were to poll his own household he
would find the greater number of votes recorded in their favour (a laugh) i
and he did not think it, therefore, desirable that it should be placed in the power
of every churlish person, or every man who happened to be busy, to drive music
out of the streets. (Hear) ”
And so the subject was dropped, and the “Laughing Jackasses”
(May they eat, dirt!) are to continue to have their long ears tickled by
the maddening music of the streets.
Same day, after an early dinner, lying on the beach.
Wonder why I can never get any fish ?
Wonder why my landlady introduces cinders into the gravy?
Wonder more than ever who there is at my lodgings so partial to my
dry sherry ?
Wonder if that’s the Coast of Trance in the distance ?
Teel inclined for a quiet conversation with my fellow-man.
A Boatman approaches. I wonder (to the Boatman) if it will be a
fine day to-morrow ? He wonders too ? We both wonder together ?
Wonder (again to the Boatman) if the Bail will make much difference
to the place ? He shakes his head and says “ Ah 1 he wonders ! ” and
leaves me.
Wonder what age I was last birthday ?
Wonder if Police Inspectors are as a rule fond of bathing ?
Wonder what gave me that idea?
Wonder what I shall do all this evening ?
Same day, after supper. Moonlight, lying on the beach.
Wonder if there ever was such a creature as a mermaid ?
Wonder several times more than ever who it is that’s so fond of my
dry sherry ?
Wonder if the Pope can swim !
Wonder what made me think of that ?
Wonder if 1 should like to go up in a balloon?
Wonder what, Speke and Grant had for dinner to-day P
Wonder if the Zoological Gardens are open at sunrise ?
Wonder what ] shall do to-morrow?
Grand Cricket Match at the Oval.—The Twenty-Two “ All
Comers” from Bichmond and Twickenham v. The Eleven Kew-comers.
After the game, the eleven, if winners, will treat the visitors to a
victorious performance on the Bells. The Peal of the Kew-comers is
very refreshing.
EBAGMENT POUND AT WIMBLEDON.
17th July, 1863.
“ Vain the Bather’s shooting grand,
Vain the Captain’s vaunted hand,
Vain, young Colin’s steady pull,
Making sure of eye of bull:
Brave Alcides cast away
All his Labours here to-day:
Gallant Elciio, noble soul,
Thou art lowest on the roll,
Lovat, Master, on the ground
Thou has now thy Masters found,
Pergusson, ’tis more than clear
That thy bullets don’t lodge here.
Nor ’tis" Parquharson’s to earn
What the battle’s fate may turn.
Caledonia, take thy fate:
Bow before the English Eight.
Clearer licking may not be.
Thou art beat by Eighty-Three.
And the gorgeous Challenge Shield
England carries from the field.”
A Heaton Boy.
Out-of-Door Gamester and Summer Sporting Register.
Pedestrianism.—A large assemblage is expected to witness a novel
Walking Match against time. An Amateur has backed himself to
walk into a Pigeon Pie in less than two minutes.
Archery.—The shooting match for children under eight years of age
is to commence in a few days. The targets will be provided with bull’s-
eyes from the nearest sweet shops.