Punch (59.1870)

^ PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [July 30 1870.

entirely opposed to the said proposal, but does not consider it a subject
for discussion here. The agitators against the existing law deserve
harsher language than he ever uses without showing his justification,
aud that would raise a topic which he is not shameless enough to
intrude on feminine attention, though they are.

Thursday Some War intimations of no particular importance, save
a statement that the late Lokd Clarendon, some time ago, endea-
voured to induce I ranee and Prussia t o disarm, but nothing came of
liis attempt. Both Powers undertake to respect the neutrality of
Belgium, Luxemburg, and Holland. No English officer is allowed to
he a newspaper correspondent during this war. Punch would like to
know why. An officer is a gentleman, and, having knowledge of the
art of war, would have his feelings aided by his judgment, in regard to
abstention from any communication that might injure the army which
he accompani-d. However, British Journalism has never yet been
beaten by pecVntry, and we have no doubt that we shall have the
campaign described with the accustomed exactitude of our newspapers.

Friday. Lord Carnarvon moved an Address designed to compli-
ment the Canadians on their noble conduct during the .Fenian
"invasion," but after a discussion in which the handsomest things
were said, on all hands, about the gallant Colonists, the motion was
withdrawn. Lord Malmbsbury found fault with its grammar. His
family correspondence, lately published by him, is a delightful book,
but he need not take to editing everybody.

Mr. Taylor had another Criminal's Grievance—a vagrant had been
flogged, and of course it was a case for the Imperial Parliament.
Mr. Bruce cited a heap of convictions against the fellow, and did not
think that the justices had at all exceeded their jurisdiction. Why
could not Mr. Taylor, instead of making a fuss, have ascertained
m'hat sort of a persjn was complaining? Because—but the answer
is obvious.

Hooray ! The Education Bill was read a Third Time, and Passed.
But, as in classic days, a triumph was celebrated by a sacrifice. Mr.
Mi all made a bitter speech against the Government, declaring that
the Dissenters had been " bitten," and that Mr. Gladstone had
thrown them over to please the Church. Whereupon, Mr. Gladstone,
rousing into such fervour as he has not lately exhibited, did seize his

biggest Pod, and did lay it upon Mr. Miall with such exceeding em-
phasis, that the House was awed at the sppctacle of that Amazing
Elogging. He hoped that Mr. Miall would not continue his support
to the Government one moment longer than he thought it compatible
with his honour, and with the conscientious discharge of his duty :—

"For God's sake let him withdraw it when he thinks his doing so will
serve the cause he hag at heart. So long as he thinks fit to yield it, we
will co-operate with him for every purpose we hold in common, but when
we think his opinions and demands exacting, when -we think he looks too
much to the section of the community which he adorns, and not to the entire
body of the nation, we must then recollect that we are the Government of the
Queen, and must hnve no mean, no narrow, no local object."

Never did Dr. Arnold, when castigating Tom Brown, administer
the educational process with more determined will and earnestness
to do his young friend good, and we hope that the lesson may be
blessed to Mr. Miall, who has very much that is good in him. The
Sacrifice being accomplished, there was deserved compliment paid to
the fine temper and tact which Mr. Eorster had displayed in
managing the Bill. Mr. Punch has already illustrated this in Cartoons
which will doubtless be the proudest ornaments of Mr. Eorster's
picture-gallery— or smoking-room.

Dublin wants a statue to the brave Lord Gotjgh, and wishes the
metal to be that of a few of the 1389 guns which he took from the
enemy. It was granted, but not in the most gracious way. Mr.
Maguire said that the Irish had always been ready to fight for the,
country, and would be ready again, but their spirit might be damped
when they heard of red tape obstacles to such a proposal as this. Mr.
Magtjire, Irishman, you say exactly what Mr. Punch, Englishman,
feels. More power to your whiskey and water, if you drink that
beverage, and if yon do, ice it.

The Gun Licence Bill passed, with some exceeding nonsense about
depriving Britons of defensive arms. "Of what use were civilised
institutions," justly asked Mr. Lowe, "if every man is to arm tor
his defence?" Nevertheless crime is by no means punished with
sufficient severity, and this ought to be done, if qniet. men are to be
told that they must appeal to the tribunals against ruffianism.

The Pacing Bill was withdrawn, and then the House withdrew.

PROGRESS OF PLATFORM GOVERNMENT.

Let u3 be jovful, joy-
ful!" for that whilst
the cause of Peace is
triumphing, as we see
it on the Continent of
Europe, that of Liberty,
likewise, makes pro-
gress at home. The
" amended " Wine and
Beerhouse Act, just
issued, provides that
"if any person be
found in a house re-
quired to be closed,
an officer may demand
the name and address
of such person, and if
it is refused, or a false
name or address given,
the party is to be liable,
on summary conviction,
to a penalty not ex-
ceeding forty shillings ;
aud any person who,
when so required, re-
fuses or neglects to
give his name or ad-
dress may be appre-
hended by such con-

—- _ stable or officer, and

detained until he can

be brought before a Magistrate." Hooray! Liberty is the birthright of every
Englishman. Britons never will be slaves. Every Englishman's house (private
or public) is his castle. If on a hot excursion, or long walk, say between the hours
of three and five, on Sunday, you desire a glass of beer, you are at liberty to
procure one, subject to the necessity of giving information to a policeman which
will enable him to summon you before a Magistrate and get you fined.

Of course, this limitation of your ability to do as you please, so that you injure
nobody else, if imposed by the single occupant of a throne, would be absolute
tyranny ; but when you are subjected to it merely by a majority of votes obtained
through assiduous agitation by declaimers on a platform, it is perfect freedom.
As Caliban sings, half-seas over, though not inside of any house "required to be
closed" by the law of his Island : —

" Freedom, heyday ! Heyday, freedom ! Freedom, freedom ! Heyday, freedom !"

" VICTIS."

War between Prance and Prussia declared at Paris—Dogma
of the Personal Infallibility of the Pope proclaimed at
Rome—July 15, 1870.

Two declarations of War we have known,
By two mighty potentates daringly hurled :

One a gage of defiance to Prussia thrown,
The other arresting the march of the World !

From the Tuileries this, from the Vatican that,
To astonish and anger all Europe, they came :

One hatched 'neath the brim of a Cardinal's hat,
And one in the cards of an Emperor's game.

One bred of the hate betwixt Prussian and Gaul,
The other of hate 'twixt inquirer and priest;

One, that calls Teutons prostrate at Erench feet to fall,
While the other crowns Faith, vice Reason deceased.

Which war is most desperate who shall decide,
Or in which strife will victory dearest be bought?

That which German endurance arrays'gainst French pride,
Or that which as foes ranks Religion and Thought ?

A COCK-ROBIN CLUB.

The Gun Licence will probably prove no very great
nuisance to the young gentlemen constituting the associa-
tion named in the following paragraph, which appeared
the other day in a newspaper :—

" Junior Gun Club, Hendon.—The shooting for the third
club prize, value 60 guineas, with optional sweepstakes handicap
distances, 11 birds each, will commence at 4 o'clock to-morrow
afternoon."

The lads who shoot for prizes of sixty guineas will doubt-
less be enabled to keep their guns, notwithstanding the
gun-tax, by rich and liberal papas or uncles who have
the ability and kindness to stand Sam. The birds at
which the members of the "Junior Gun Club" are in the
habit of shooting may be taken to be Cock-robins.

Meteorological Query.—When is the worst weather
for rats and mice ? When it rains cats and dogs.