Punch (60.1871)

116 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 25, 1871.

the Small Parcels people, whose miscellanies are again
to he carried by post—forbids Postmasters to buy postage
stamps from the public (this is because letters with
stamps in them are a good deal stolen) and receives com-
pliments from the House. He deserves most of them,
but he is wrong on a detail. Sums " under" ten
shillings, for instance, are to go by money order for
a penny. It should be "not exceeding." The next
price is two pence. So, if people wish to manifest their
sense of indignation at the absurd limit, they can take
an order for nine and elevenpence, and put up a penny
stamp with it, for the receiver. Mr. Monsell will not
be angry.

The Trades Union Bill was read a Second Time. It is
generally approved in the House and by the public,
but the Unions complain of the clause which forbids
"molestation" and picketing," without which they
say they cannot make a Strike complete. Precisely so—
and hence the Pill will be passed in the present form, as
prayed by the Chamber of Commerce at Sheffield, where
people know something about intimidation.

Wednesday.—A Railway Debate, and a complete
exposure, by Sir H. Selwin-Ibbetson, of the reckless
and shabby system on which some of our lines are
managed. Of course, the usual answer was made,
" Directors always ready to improve," " Suggestions not
practical," " Yery few people killed, considering how
many travel," " Surely directors must know their own
business," &c, &c. The clock, more punctual than most
trains, brought the matter to an end.

Thursday.—The University Tests Bill was read a
Second Time, in the Lords, without opposition. " What
wilt thou do, renowned Salisbury ? " " You'll see, in
Committee, renowned Punch," replied the Marquis.

In the Commons, there were no fewer than five divi-
sions, at the end of the Army debate, on the question of
adjournment, and of course, as this might have gone on
until now, Government submitted.

Friday.—Bless us, haven't we told you above—how
many times is Mr. Punch to—0, ah! Well, there was
a slight row between Mr. C. Bentinck, who complained
that Mr. A. Peel, a member of the Government, had
made noises at him, and Mr. Bentixck begged Mr.
Gladstone to keep his colleagues in better order. Mr.
Peel said that he had made no improper noises, but that
he had certainly signified disapproval when Mr. Ben-
tinck charged the Premier with want of principle. The
House expressed its approbation of this explanation, and
Mr. Gladstoxe was satisfied with an explanation by
Mr. Bentixck, and all became serene.

Mr. Newdegate, made a speech about Catholic con-
vents, and wanted-

But we say. Does any body want to hear about that
at a time like this ? We trow not. What ho ! The
Flowing Bowl. Health and Happiness to Her Royal
Highxess the Princess Louise, and to her Lord.
Here we all are. Hoorav!

ILLUSTRATIVE IDEAS.
{lie sped fully Inscribed to Mr. Matthew Arnold.)

Sweetxess and light Maria Jones
Together doth comprise ;

There's sweetness in Maria's tones-
Light in Maria's eyes.

In sugar-candy, too, we see

Those qualities unite;
Because that sweetmeat is, as she,

At once both sweet and bright.

Pax!

"the burdens of fashion.

What we must come to before long.!

NATIONAL DEBT TILL DOMESDAY.

(Appeal of a British Taxpayer to the Rev. Dr. Cumming.)

Why, Dr. Cumming, with increased severity,
Should we be taxed for the gain of Posterity ?
Taxed for the purpose of paying the National
Debt off—proposal of persons irrational.

As for Posterity, will there be any fit

By our taxation hereafter to benefit P

At our expense aught advantaged how can it be ?-

Ere it could possibly, where will this planet be ?

Should not the world's end have, Doctor prophetical,.
Come four years since, but for slight exegetical
Error ; and may we not shortly anticipate
That day which all things is destined to dissipate >

But if in prophecy you 're altogether out,

And our Earth yet has a long time to weather out,

We shall in no respect any the better be

To us of thanks if Posterity debtor be.

My children's children, suppose I had got any,.
(Being no Croesus, I'm glad I have not any)
Debt, from my own predecessor inherited,

Peace is assured. There is no necessity for any; Nohow that I should redeem would have merited,

iormal ratification of the Treatv. It would be an idle

formality. The diplomatists may spare themselves all
further trouble. We have the pleasure of drawing
attention to what has been rightly called '' a first result
of peace," and of giving wider publicity to the most
convincing proof of the return of a happier state of
things,—Cook's excursions to Paris have re-commenced.

The Purchas Judgment—which the High Church
party brought on themselves by their want of judgment.

Much less will children of children of other men—
Deeply and dearly as I love my brother men,.
For those grand-nephews and nieces that are to be,
Taxed ere they 're born is what I do not care to be.

Cumming, whatever we think of futurity,
Present taxation's a plague, of a surety.
Even supposed we this globe's perpetuity,
Paying the National Debt were fatuity.