Punch (60.1871)

MA.cn 25, 1871. PUNCH, OR, THE LONDON CHARIVARI. in

REAL IRISH GRIEVANCE.

Irish Model (requested to put on rather a dilapidated costume). "The blissed Saints dibict sie into this Coat, Sor !

PAPAL INCORRUPTIBILITY.

A telegram from Berlin announces the notable fact that:—

" The Pope has refused his consent to the Prussian proposal of separating
the diocese of Alsace and Lorraine from the sees of France."

A worldly Pope in the place of his Holiness wonld have acceded
to that proposal in order to curry favour with the Emperor of
'Germany. But even though Kaiser W^ilhelm should offer to dis-
unite Rome from Italy, and replace the Sovereign Pontiff on his
temporal throne if he would consent to separate Alsace and Lorraine
from the French sees, no doubt the reply of Pio Nono would still be
Non possumus, And perhaps Antonelli would advise him to
persist in saying so.

A SEVERE STATE SURGEON.

The principle on which, last year, Mr. Robert Lowe professed
to construct his Budget, was that of making everybody a little un-
comfortable. It is to be feared that his forthcoming financial
arrangement will be based on the same principle, with the aggrava-
tion of being made very uncomfortable to everybody. The Chan-
cellor op the Exchequer is a State Surgeon, who does not put
the patients on whom he operates under chloroform. His practice
is anaesthetic in the opposite way, directed, when he reduces taxa-
tion, so to reduce it that they whose burdens are lightened by the
reduction shall not feel it. But who will thank you, Robert, for
the relief of which you take care that nobody shall be sensible ?

Another New Title.

" Daybreak in Spain." "Why select this particular period of the
day as the subject of a book ? and why, further, go to Spain for a
voluminous description of it ? Is the early morn more striking in
that country than in Italy, or the Tropics, or on Mont Blanc, or
dotting Hill.?

EXCEPTIONAL SON-IN-LAW.

Happy the man who, when he takes a bride,
Espouses her alone, and none beside :
And doth not find, as many husbands do,
That he has married her relations, too.

Let him that needs must wed select a wife
Whose parents, both, departed have this life.
Her sole regard that he may comprehend,
And prove the else friendless orphan's only friend.

What mortal ever yet the husband saw
Blest in the Mother he acquired by law ?
Exceptions to all rules in time are born—
Long live thy Mother-in-law, Lord of Lorne !

SAD OCCURRENCE.

Mr. Punch,—I am sure you have a great respect for age. I am
sure you would wish the old to enjoy their well-earned rest and
repose in unmolested tranquillity, to take their nap and their doze
and their sleep without any disturbance or interruption ; to be
allowed even to be stertorous without question or remonstrance. I
feel a moral certainty, therefore, that you Avill share my indignation,
when you hear that in my neighbourhood we have lately witnessed
the public scandal of a sale by open Auction of no less than
"three thousand old sleepers." Poor dears! But I cannot trust
myself to write further. I can only invoke your powerful aid to
prevent the recurrence of such an outrage on all the best feelings
of our Ascidian Nature.

A Man with Two Grandmothers, and a Great Aunt.

Cool Spot, E.C,

The best place in the City for Summary proceedings is of course
the Vintry Ward.