Punch (60.1871)

.April 8, 1871.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 137

A SONG OF SPRING.
(By a Singer who unluckily is Rather out of Sorts.)

Spring's delights are now returning,
Cuttingly the East wind blows :

Blazing fires we must keep burning,
Chilblains else infest our toes.

Fitful are the frequent changes ;

One day freezing to the bone :
Next, the glass to ninety ranges,

When the sun has brightly shone.

Hence come asthma and bronchitis,
Coughs and colds and sore-throats too :

Hence the tongue, inspected, white is,
And the cheek is pale of hue.

Rheumatism and lumbago,

Innuenza too attacks:
Till we live on slops and sago,

And lie helpless on our backs.

Friends robust enjoy for dinner
Ducklings and spring cabbage sweet;

Envious we grow daily thinner,
Getting nothing nice to eat.

Doctors send us nasty mixtures,

Frequent powders, draughts, and pills :

Indoors keeping us as fixtures,
Till we call to pay their bills.

A Noisy Offender.

Some people appear to have singular notions of the
powers and duties of the Police. In a notice of the earth-
quake in Wales we read that " a lady, in the absence of
her husband, much alarmed by the noise, went in great
excitement for a police officer." We are not told what
the constable was expected to do. Probably to take the
earthquake up ; or, at the very least, to report it to
the inspector on duty for making a disturbance.

TWO EXTINGUISHERS.

Fastidious Snob (probably from Dover). "I Protest against your Smoking, BEGINNING betimes.

Sir. 1 think Smokers should be Compelled to Travel by the Cattle- tt pleasant to see that scientific improvements and
Trains ?" sanitary contrivances are early brought under the notice

Gentleman (throwing aivay his cigarette). "In that Case, Sir, perhaps some' of the youthful members of the Royal Family. The
young Calf might object !! " " Albert Victor Filter " is ready.

bleaching ginger, I will not go so far as to say that it is not desirable
ADULTEEATION EXCUSED. [that the Pillory should be reinstituted, but would only venture to

suggest that the number of eggs with which the People would be
Permit me, Mr. Punch, to say a word m excuse of the adultera- allowed to pelt the rogues standing therein, should, in cases of
tion of articles of food by those who deal m them—numerous if not \ adulteration extenuated by circumstances of temptation, if possible,

be limited. Allow me to call myself Clemens.
P.S. Perhaps, too, justice tempered with mercy would require

respectable tradesmen

I am, Sir, in the habit of using ginger, medicinally. I use un-
bleached ginger. Bleached ginger is spoilt ginger. But unbleached

singer is only to be had at certain shops. I tried four of the chief | that the eggs should not be too stale
grocers in a principal London thoroughfare the other day for it, and
couldn't get it. An intelligent chemist, at whose shop I asked for
unbleached ginger, did not keep any. He said the Public would, not
buy it; but insisted on having their ginger bleached, because it
looked white and pretty. With such a Public to deal with, shop-
keepers are obviously tempted to adulterate food and drink, at least
in order to colour them. Who can wonder at finding copper in

THE HEDGE-SPARROW'S HOORAY!

A Hedge-Sparrow, warbling on a spray,
Said to a Cock Robin, on All Fools' Day,
You may sav what you like about vour nest;
pickles r' And who can wonder at the need of enlarging Earlswood But we '"ll lay you an egg that shall beat your best

and other mstitutions of a similar character P Qualification for '
those asylums must be greatly on the increase among a Public that
has got to prefer, for the mere appearance of the thing, bleached to
unbleached ginger.

The ginger which our forefathers consumed in the good old days
of Queen Elizabeth, was manifestly unbleached. " Yes, by Saint
Anne ; and ginger shall be hot i' the mouth too," swore the Shak-
spearian Clown. It was a true oath then; but would be a rash one
now. Bleaching greatly impairs the strength of ginger's essence;
so that bleached ginger is not hot but lukewarm in the mouth.
Moreover, by being bleached, ginger is hardened, and rendered
difficult to grate.

Ginger,_ in relation to Earlswood and the like retreats, is as a
straw which, when thrown up, affords information which I do not
repeat to you any more than I should offer instruction equally
superfluous to my grandmother. On behalf of the small tradesmen,
however, whom public imbecility tempts to do worse things than

" Indeed," the Cock Eobin replied, " how so ?"
Said the Hedge-Sparrow—" What I have sung, I '11 show.
Your eggs are red-freckled, and ours light-blue ;
And that is the colour of the Cambridge Crew."

In and Out.

The best motto for the Eoyal Albert Hall, with its aclmirable
arrangements for going in, coming out, and returning, or, as the
lawyers phrase it, " ingress, egress, and regress," would be a not
unfamiliar line of Shakspeare, slightly modified :—
" It has its exits and its entrances."

Impressions of Greece."—Candle-droppings on the carpet.

Vol. 60.