Punch (60.1871)

March 11, 1871.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

93

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

- on day, February 27.
Government ex-
pounded, through
Lord Ktmberley,
a Bill for repress-
ing Vagrancy. His
Lordship alluded
to the wisdom of
our ancestors, who,
in the fourteenth
century, punished
persons bestowing
money upon idle
beggars. The late
Archbishop
Whately, who,
they say, declared
that he had com-
mitted many an er-
ror, hut never that
of giving a penny to
a street-mendicant,
would probably
have voted for the
re-enactment of
the old law. How-
ever, that is not
proposed yet. A
uniform treatment

of Vagrants is to be adopted, and their habit of treating the Unions
as hotels at which they can sojourn at pleasure, chiefly patronising
those which they approve of, is to be checked. Power is given to
detain an interesting wanderer, if he is shown to be a mere tramp,
but there is to be no hindrance to the travel of an honest man in
search of employment.

It was suggested by Lord Salisbury that railways would convey
this class much more cheaply, provided the claim for compensation
in case of accident were renounced. Lord Ktmberley thought that
the railway people ought not to be allowed to kill labourers at dis-
cretion, but that a modification of the present system might be
advisable.

Lord Dtjfferin-, Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, explained
his duties, and said that so far from having a sinecure, this
Chancellor was "a maid of all work, or charwoman," to his
Ministry.

In answer to Mr. Otway, the Premier said that it had been
an instruction to General Walker and Captain Hozier not to
join in any triumphal entry which the Germans might make into
Paris.

The Scotch Education Bill was read a Second Time, in spite of
Northern Remonstrance that the Ministers were sending it on too
fast, Scotch Members feel, with the landlord in the Antiquary,
that " it is just a beautiful thing to think how long and how care-
fully justice is considered over in this country." But if Bills are to
be passed at the end of the Session, they must be shoved on at its
beginning.

All this was dull enough, but the House had its revenge. Lord
Ha uttngton moved for the Select Committee to inquire into Ribbon-
crime in Westmeath. This is an Irish county, in the province of
Leinster, and its capital, Mullingar, is about fifty miles west of
Dublin, which is the capital of Ireland. Yet in spite of this approxi-
mation to civilisation, Westmeath, a rich agricultural county, is in
the hands of a sort of Union of scoundrels, who organise murder on
all kinds of agrarian pretext. Life is not safe, and woe to the man
who exercises ordinary rights over his property. All this is perfectly
notorious, yet the Government, before taking any strong measures
to root out the Ribbon-assassins, ask for a Committee of Inquiry.
It was to have been Secret, but is only to be partially so, that is,
the doors may be closed when a witness of importance is being
examined, rather a happy thought in the way of a device for pointing
him out to unfriendly notice.

So, there being sundry blots to hit in the Ministerial game, Mr.
Disraeli girded up his loins for a slashing speech, and went at the
Premier and his policy in a delightfully incisive fashion. He
accused him of having made flashy speeches out of Parliament,
alii nit Ireland, and of having vindicated them by measures of Con-
fiscation and Sacrilege. He taunted him with coming to Parliament
to know how to govern a single county. Altogether, sssthetically
speaking, the effort was effective, and the Conservatives cheered,
hugely. Mr. Hardy pointed out that it was' admitted that the
police could at any moment lay their hands on the Westmeath

assassins, and he denounced delay in doing this. Moreover he
quoted the famous and beautiful lines from Pope's Messiah :—■

" All crime shall cease, and ancient fraud shall fail;
Returning Justice lift aloft her scale;
Peace o'er the ' realm ' her olive wand extend,
And white-rohed innocence from Heaven descend.'

Which, he said, had been the Ministerial promise in regard to Ire-
land, if the Ministerial measures were carried. Mr. Chichester
Fortescue replied with much spirit, and while condemning exag-
gerations, asserted that Ireland had greatly improved, and that
Westmeath was an exceptional case. He contrasted Mr. Hardy's
genuine partisanship with the calculating partisanship of Mr.
Disraeli. There were other speakers, and there seemed a general
feeling that everybody was to be as disagreeable as his nature per-
mitted, so that the debate was pleasant enough—to hear. It was
adjourned.

Tuesday. The South Australians wish to marry their Wives'
Sisters, and have passed an Act, in their own Parliament, enabling
them to perform that feat. But the Home Government has no idea
of allowing mere colonists to take the lead in such a matter, and has
disallowed the South-Australian law. The antipodes must wait.

Mr. Ayrton explained that though the stone (Amorphous
Dolomite, we believe) of which the Houses of Parliament are built
is by no means good, there is no immediate danger of the edifice
crumbling to pieces, and there is to be some new facing. It was
nobody's fault, of course, that the right sort of stone was not
used originally. How the builders of Westminster Abbey must be
amused in Elysium!

As might have been expected, the system of Pedlars' Licences has
proved a nuisance : the police let any vagabond have a licence, and
then he cannot be taken up for mendicancy, which is his real profes-
sion. Ask the ladies in the suburbs how they like the system, and
how pleasant their walks are made by the insolent importunity of
whining tramps.

We had a very serious debate on Local Taxation, but as it came
to nothing, the Previous Question being carried by 241 to 195, Mr.
Punch withholds a lucid exposition of the subject until Government
shall bring in a promised measure.

Wednesday. Dissenters, it seems, often wish to be buried 'in
churchyards, but do not always like the magnificent service of the
Church. So they agitate (it is the last but one of their grievances)
for a law allowing them to be buried with any ritual which they
may affect. Sundry Churchmen pretended fear lest funerals should
be made excuses for pronouncing political orations. When will
Englishmen understand Englishmen ? We really know very little
about each other, and have not much right to laugh at the idiotcy
of French writers when they endeavour to describe us. The Second
Beading was carried by 211 to 149, but we apprehend that the
numbers in the House of Lords Spiritual and Temporal will show a
majority the other way, besides that the lawyers will have something
to say about a Parson's rights in his Freehold.

This day, Wednesday, March 1st, 1871, will ever be memorable in
the history of France. For on this day did the victorious
Germans, 30,000 strong, march into and occupy Paris. The first
man who entered was a handsome Hussar, Lieutenant Bernhardt,
The young fellow could not restrain himself from just one single
flourish of his sabre, in answer to all the flourishes of all the Parisian
journalists, who had declared that the "barbarians" never would,
could, or should enter the city.

Here note, in reference to much that has been, and will be said by
sundry papers about the War, that Captain Pen is as honest as
light, and does Captain Sword all justice, but that Captain de la
Plume is—well, read the French journals.

'Thursday. Fierce fight in the House of Commons on the West-
meath Ribbon Committee. Very good slashing, and a very contemp-
tuous expression on the fine features of Mr. Punch for those who
could make a hideous system of intimidation and murder a theme
for party warfare. There were two attempts to adjoiirn the debate,
but they failed, and the Ministers carried their motion for a Com-
mittee by 256 to 175—majority, 81 ; not too large, all things con-
sidered.

The Ecclesiastical Titles Bill has been sent to a Select Committee
that the "law" may be put right by somebody who knows the
meaning of words, and can parse a law-sentence, a gift not vouch-
safed to all who have to obey Acts of Parliament.

Friday. Are we never to have a Revised Prayer Book ? To say
nothing of stagnation in the various trades which produce the
volume, thousands of Sponsors are waiting (and under suspicion of
meanness) for the corrected edition. It is of no use giving M. or K.
a book that will be out of date long before he or she can read it.
A Lectionary Bill wTas produced to-night, and ought to be for-
warded.

Mr. H. Burke, asking some very reasonable questions about the