Punch (60.1871)

January H, 1871.1

11

"IS IT GREEK?"

More Wonderful Still.

Foreigner. « 'Say, Mun, Pax me owre the Pourrie." Tables «turI1)» and " Creak," and "groan," and are

Southerner. " I'm Sorry-Je ne Parle no French." ! " set in a roar;" but doors beat them—they can speak—

Foreigner. " 0, I beg ye're Paurdon—has' me the Cream-Jug." at all events to those Avho say that they "answer"

[No—it 'is Scotch. them.

FOREIGN COMPLIMENTS OF THE
SEASON.

Yah, you people of mean traders!
Unprepared to meet invaders,
Who as fat prize oxen view you
Think of strrfe to keep clear, do you ?

Will you let no insult poke you
Up to fight ? Will nought provoke you ?
Out of war to keep you've gone in,
But you '11 certainly be drawn in.

There's a Treaty broken, look you.
Into trouble won't that hook you ?
No ! you dodge one more occasion
Of a quarrel, with evasion.

Ha, but now your flag is trampled !
Patience will be unexampled.
Do you wait for explanation ?
Faugh, base, cautious, crawling nation!

Lo, your Army is neglected,
And your Coast is ill protected!
On your Navy what reliance,
In these days of steam and science ?

Knowing that, do you determine
Not to strike, you sneaking vermin,
Till you 're armed, by land and water,
With o'erwhelming means of slaughter ?

Odious, peaceful, prosperous cattle,
Foes upon you may force battle.
Russians, backed by Yankees, kick you,
May they make you fight—and lick you!

Be your paltry alms confounded !
They but help our sick and wounded.
As allies we need your purses—
Give us money—take our curses!

STRAWBERRY LEAVES.

a selection from the very latest letters of the honourable
horace walpole, of strawberry hill. favoured by our
private spiritual medium.

To Sir Horace Mann.

You wish me a happy new year, my dear Sir. Wish me rather, a
happy new self. Without that, new years can bring me little but
new vexations. But I thank you heartily ; and as you have learned
to be happy with a very little, I hope the year may bring you the
Bed Ribbon of your heart. Without unduly raising your hopes, I
may say that a certain doctor has been called in in a certain quarter,
and his patients are not given to trouble their friends long.

There is much scarlet fever around us, and I sent twenty guineas
to our clergy, who have been manful among the poor. You do not
think I tell you this to magnify my charity, for I know that you
will not tell of it again. But I must mention it, because you must
hear the charming passage from Shakspeare with which I sent the
money. I wrote to the Yicar in the words of Don Armado. Under-
standing that the Curate and yourself are good at such eruptions, &c.
Praise me, or for ever hereafter hold your peace, as, indeed, you are
too apt to do without invitation.

Do not ask me any more about Paris. I am sick of the subject,
and the Parisians have just done a thing which makes me hate them.
What do you say to their having sold the three poor elephants at
the Jardin to a butcher, to be slain for food ! The poor, dear, affec-
tionate, kindly creatures—how could any one have the heart to j Biblical sort. Perhaps I am not one to preach against that kind of

will be put to death easily. Imagine their being dragged from
India and Africa to live in cages, and amuse a mob for years, and
then to be killed, and eaten by the mob ! I hope they will disagree
with the cannibals. As for the Paris folk, they will soon be in the
condition of the King of Siam, as described to Mr. Samuel Pepys,
one of my predecessors in the representation of Castle Rising " Our
king do not live by meat nor drink, but by having great lyes told
him." But I suppose things are coming to an end. As for the new
Emperor of Germany, he must, he shall, spill much more blood to
make his Title good. Royal heraldry rejoices in gules.

The Airgonauts have not been sailing much from Paris of late.
The skilled air-sailors have all departed, so sea-sailors are being
pressed into the service. When I told you that Louis Philippe's
father had been ascending in a balloon, I little thought that the
machine would ever play such a part in war. It will date, in his-
tory, from the great siege. 'Twas a French invention, and they
have a right to its benefits.

Your young King Amadeus has been duly welcomed- by his
Spanish subjects, whom he has addressed in I know not what lan-
guage. I do not love Kings, but I can admire courage even in them,
and he has shown himself worthy of the blood of Savoy. The
murder of Prim was a dastardly deed, and whether done by priests
or republicans, has recoiled on its authors, for the nation rallies to
the young Sovereign. The assassins escaped so easily that one would
think Iberia was Hibernia.

Any one introduced by you has but to think I can serve him, to
command me. I have shewed all attention to Mr. Y. But I may
say to you that I fail to discover in him the wit you credit him with.
All he managed in that way was a set of well-worn jokes_ of a

murder them ? Also, to feed perhaps a gang of the swaggering, i humour, but there is a difference between a sly, quiet allusion sent
cowardly National Guards whom Trochu can by no manner of i to a friend, and a loud-mouthed irreverence in all companies,
means persuade to stand fire. The elephants themselves, with towers ' When I know him well enough, or when I am enough tired of him
filled with riflemen, woidd be a hundred times more useful in attack | not to mind offending him, I shall tell him that a witty man despises
than the gluttons who are to devour them. I only hope that they such things for their easiness, and a good man detests them for their