Punch (60.1871)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. «

Feukuary 4, 1871.]

REAL AND SHAM ROSES.

The healthy exercise of Skating, young Ladies, is highly con-
ducive to the development of Bloom on the cheek of Beauty. De-
velopment of Bloom, dears, is easily distinguishable from super-
imposition. That is to say, everybody who has eyes, and is not
totally colour-blind, can tell the daub out of the rouge-pot from
the natural rose. Now, loves, to any man except a fellow of the
baser sort, the paint-spot on the cheek is as a plague-spot. It is
worse than the hectic patch which poor consumptive girls cannot
help ; a painter by profession would rather aclmire a face flushed
with scarlatina. Far less becoming is it than the crimson con-
tracted by a good domesticated eligible girl at the kitchen fire, in
basting a leg of mutton. A sham erubescence, alas, is sometimes
visible, and remarkable, on certain cheeks which would be reddened
all over by knowledge of the sort of patterns taken in wearing it.
Darlings, it may not be impossible to give you some idea of the
imitation which you practise in painting your faces.

Suppose the custom of dyeing hair and whiskers had become pre-
valent among young men. Perhaps even you yourselves would
rather despise the impostors who adopted it. Imagine, however,
that, besides, you knew that this custom was originated by the vilest
and most vicious scamps, and used to be peculiar to them, and dis-
tinctive of their class, what would you say to any man, who, having
made himself look as much as possible like one of them, asked to
dance with you ?

Brand yourselves, sweets, no longer with the Jezebel-smear.

EVENINGS EEOM HOME.

At the Lyceum. Italian Opera Bouffa Company. Done in Tico

Visits.'

Visit the First.—To see Crispino e la Comare. Remarkable, as
a Comic Opera, for its peculiarly heavy lightness, the long " waits,"
i. e., intervals of about twenty-five minutes between the Acts, its
charming costumes, and elaborate scenery. Magenta inexpressibles
and blue velvet coat were, perhaps, the least striking among the
dresses ; while the scene being generally the same, there was plenty
of time given to the audience to discover its beauties. Habitues of
the Italian Opera had seen Patti in it, and wouldn't care for anyone
else ; and those who hadn't seen Patti, began to wish they had.
The Trio of Doctors, " Batti batti, tira tira," obtained a hearty
encore, and was unquestionably the successful thing of the piece.

Visit Number Two.—In state, to see Signor Bottesini's All
Baba, for which we will suggest the more appropriate title of

THE MUSICAL ALI BABA ;

OB,

the piano-forte thieves.

ACT I.

Scene 1 {on the Stage).— The Ground-Floor of Ail Baba's house.
(In the Auditorium.) The Stalls and Private Boxes.
Musical Amateur (arriving in Stalls after the Curtain has risen).
Ah! how d'ye do r (To friend, who of course replies with

another question—"How are you?" and no answer being given by
either, both are equally satisfied.) Overture over, of course ?

[As if he had expected it in the course of the First Act.
His Friend (Supercilious Amateur Critic). Yes: you didn't miss
much.

Irascible Elderly Gentleman (with a booh, frowns at the two
above-mentioned talking in front of him. This to his companion, a
mild person in spectacles.) I wish people wouldn't talk. I want to
hear the music.

Young Lady (in Stall behind Irascible Party). 0 Mamma, ask
Uncle to get a book.

Majnma (to Uncle). John, can you ask for a book ? (Then struck
by a brilliant notion.) You might get three, and then we should have
one a-piece.

Uncle John (who has " taken" them, and wishes to limit his
expenses to the purchase of the Stalls only, depreciatingly). A book's
not much use. The words of an Opera are never worth anything.
(''''Except," he thinks, 11 to the Stall-keeper, and then they're a
shilling' each, and something for himself," which he doesn't see.
Adds, aloud.) It's the old story, you know, of the Forty Thieves.

Irascible Gentleman (aloud, and savagely). I do wish people
wouldn't talk. I've paid to hear the music.
People (in front, and about him). Hush! hush!

[Irascible Gentleman very angry, and begins at the Second Act
in his book by mistake.
His Neighbour. Would you mind lending me your glasses for a
minute ? I'm unfortunately shortsighted, and I've left mine at
home. (Almost taking them.) Thank you.

[Irascible Gentleman wonders to himself why the-his neigh -
bour can't hire a pair, and begins to settle himself down to
the Opera.

Habitue of Italian Opera (lounging in late over toes and against

knees to his Stall, cheerfully). Pardon—thank you- Ah!

[Stops just in front of Irascible Person, to shake hands with a
friend.

Irascible Person (very uncomfortable, leaning back, with his knees
drawn in). I really do wish—that-

Habitue (in answer to something). No, not yet. See you again.

(Treads on Irascible's toes.) Pardon-

[Passes on triumphantly. Sits by a Club friend.

Club Friend. Nothing new in it. Second time I've heard it.

Amateur Critic. 0, one knows all the tunes. (A quintette is sung.)
There ! (To his Amateur Friend.) You recollect that movement in
the Ballo I

Amateur Friend (frowns meditatively, as if recalling all the Music
of the Ballo in Maschera, which he has only heard once, six years
ago, and replies.) 0, of course : it's the very thing.

[Thinks he '11 buy a shilling book of the Ballo, and find out what
he 's talking about.
Mrs. Somebody (to Mr. Somebody). What is the story of the
Forty Thieves f '

Mr. Somebody (with saant politeness). Why, what one read as a
child, you know, years ago. (Tries his hand at it.) Ali Baba gets
into a cave, and hears the robbers, you know—and " Open, sesame "
comes in it—and then (vaguely) there's Morgiana, who pours oil

into the jars, and-you recollect ?

Mrs. Somebody. 0, yes. But I don't recollect Delia and Nadir
in it. [Referring to programme.

Mr. Somebody. Eh ? Yes, I think they were in it.

[ Watches these two characters with interest.
Enter Nadir, the Tenor, Delia's lover, through the window. He is
neatly and elegantly dressed in, apparently, a pair of brilliant
bed-curtains, ivith a lady's jacket, of an exploded fashion, over
them. But Delia loves him ; and though she doesn't notice these
trifles now, yet she'd never let him go out like that tvhen they 're
married.

Duet (of course, in Italian).
Delia. Nadir.
When first met our glances, When first met our glances,
My joy so unmeasured Thy beauty divine, love,

For aye shall be treasured. My heart made all mine, love.
[Joy ! Then enter old Ali. Kicks Nadir out. Despair ! End
of Scene.

Scene 2—Outside the Robbers' Cave.
Enter Nadir, sadly. (Noise without.) Some one approaches.
(Happy Thought.) Perhaps it's the Forty Thieves. I '11 hide myself,
and watch.

[Hides himself, and watches somebody else. For concealment he
chooses what appears to be a large artichoke, behind which
his bed-curtains are distinctly visible.
Enter the Forty Thieves. They, very injudiciously for people who
wish to avoid discovery, sing a stupendously loud chorus. A
gong sounds three times whenever the cave opens or closes.
Nadir (behind the artichoke, probably to himself). Where are the
police ?

Vol. 60.

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