DOI issue:
January 17, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16938#0038
30
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 17, 1874.
i *$&*&*?-
BOY’S ‘ANATOMY OF MELANCHOLY.”
Octavius (after the Pantomime). “ ’Pa, did you ever Know a Clown—to Shake Hands with him?”
Papa (they had a large Family and a limited Income). “Ho, my Boy, I can’t Say I ever enjoyed that Honour and Privilege!’’
Octavius. “Then I b’lieve that’s why You and Mamma sometimes look so Uncomfortable.”
A WEDDING CRACKED.
Art-Criticism.
At the breaktast after the marriage of the Duke of St. Albans
to Miss Grace Osborne, daughter of our friend and brother-wit,
Mr. Bernae Osborne (to whom all gratulation), good speeches were
made. We do not know whether young ladies will include Mr.
Dsborne’s own speech among them. He told young persons that if
they had means, and good temper, they should Marry. But if they
had not, they should—Reflect. Nobody ever admitted that he or
she had not a good temper. The most impatient young cad that
ever shouted and banged the table wiR allege that he is perhaps a
little impetuous, but that it is a sign of a good heart (which it is
not, hut the reverse), and that it is soon over. The sulkiest young
puss that ever pouted her household into discomfort will urge that
she is of a sensitive nature, and readily hurt, and ought to be better
appreciated. So we may dismiss the temper question. “Means”
is a comparative phrase. We rather think that in any case young
persons will do well to_“ reflect.” The verb is intransitive, but the
proper use of its meaning wiR induce a good many folks to sacrifice
certain foRies of a highly transitive character.
Ordeal by Fire.
A controversy has been of late going on about the composition of
wines, for the most part British, but sold as foreign. Port wine so
j called, is said by some, and denied by others, to be manufactured.
All agree that port is a highly spirituous liquor, whether the spirit
which it contains has, or has not, been superadded. As a rough way
of ascertaining the proportion of spirit contained in a sample of port
wine, may be recommended the simple experiment of taking a tea-
spoonful thereof and throwing it into the fire. Should it immediately
flare up like brandy, you will know what to think of it. Then, also,
you will know what to do with it, and the best thing would be to
throw the remainder after the portion, if only, by so doing, vou
would not cause a dangerous explosion, and set the chimney on fire.
Miss Maria Malaprop (who has been highly educated) says that
the last International Exhibition was good in an asthmatic point of
view, though there were several old-fashioned things, quite Ana-
creonisms, and there was nothing to compare to the doors formerly
shown by Russia, and made of Amalekites.
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
On the 9th instant, H.R.H. the Prince of Wales, after inaugu-
rating the new Statue on the Holborn Yiaduct, attended luncheon
at the Mansion House, and the Lord Mayor (Alderman Lusk)
having proposed H.R.H.’s health, the Heir Apparent said :—
“ We owe a debt of thanks to that philanthropic gentleman who so kindly
presented the statue to the Corporation of the City of London, and I know i
that he does not wish his name should be mentioned. I am aware who he is,
but as it is his wish that his name should not be divulged, I know you will
agree with me that we ought to keep it secret.”
We now release H.R.H. and the rest of our faithful friends who
are in the secret from the pledge to keep it any longer, for we
announce, with sincere pleasure, that the (honor of the statue is
»r. tyWWm!
Not wishing to credit himself with any liberaHt.y not properly his
own, he adds that he raised the money by preserving, for a year, the
volunteered communications of unwelcome correspondents, and that
having filled an enormous number of sacks with these productions
(the system is in full operation, vide advertisements), he sold them,
to be boiled down into new and spotless paper. He is sure that his
talented but unfortunate correspondents wRl be delighted to hear
this, and he begs to inform them that he intends to continue the
practice of Sacking his Yolunteers.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 17, 1874.
i *$&*&*?-
BOY’S ‘ANATOMY OF MELANCHOLY.”
Octavius (after the Pantomime). “ ’Pa, did you ever Know a Clown—to Shake Hands with him?”
Papa (they had a large Family and a limited Income). “Ho, my Boy, I can’t Say I ever enjoyed that Honour and Privilege!’’
Octavius. “Then I b’lieve that’s why You and Mamma sometimes look so Uncomfortable.”
A WEDDING CRACKED.
Art-Criticism.
At the breaktast after the marriage of the Duke of St. Albans
to Miss Grace Osborne, daughter of our friend and brother-wit,
Mr. Bernae Osborne (to whom all gratulation), good speeches were
made. We do not know whether young ladies will include Mr.
Dsborne’s own speech among them. He told young persons that if
they had means, and good temper, they should Marry. But if they
had not, they should—Reflect. Nobody ever admitted that he or
she had not a good temper. The most impatient young cad that
ever shouted and banged the table wiR allege that he is perhaps a
little impetuous, but that it is a sign of a good heart (which it is
not, hut the reverse), and that it is soon over. The sulkiest young
puss that ever pouted her household into discomfort will urge that
she is of a sensitive nature, and readily hurt, and ought to be better
appreciated. So we may dismiss the temper question. “Means”
is a comparative phrase. We rather think that in any case young
persons will do well to_“ reflect.” The verb is intransitive, but the
proper use of its meaning wiR induce a good many folks to sacrifice
certain foRies of a highly transitive character.
Ordeal by Fire.
A controversy has been of late going on about the composition of
wines, for the most part British, but sold as foreign. Port wine so
j called, is said by some, and denied by others, to be manufactured.
All agree that port is a highly spirituous liquor, whether the spirit
which it contains has, or has not, been superadded. As a rough way
of ascertaining the proportion of spirit contained in a sample of port
wine, may be recommended the simple experiment of taking a tea-
spoonful thereof and throwing it into the fire. Should it immediately
flare up like brandy, you will know what to think of it. Then, also,
you will know what to do with it, and the best thing would be to
throw the remainder after the portion, if only, by so doing, vou
would not cause a dangerous explosion, and set the chimney on fire.
Miss Maria Malaprop (who has been highly educated) says that
the last International Exhibition was good in an asthmatic point of
view, though there were several old-fashioned things, quite Ana-
creonisms, and there was nothing to compare to the doors formerly
shown by Russia, and made of Amalekites.
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
On the 9th instant, H.R.H. the Prince of Wales, after inaugu-
rating the new Statue on the Holborn Yiaduct, attended luncheon
at the Mansion House, and the Lord Mayor (Alderman Lusk)
having proposed H.R.H.’s health, the Heir Apparent said :—
“ We owe a debt of thanks to that philanthropic gentleman who so kindly
presented the statue to the Corporation of the City of London, and I know i
that he does not wish his name should be mentioned. I am aware who he is,
but as it is his wish that his name should not be divulged, I know you will
agree with me that we ought to keep it secret.”
We now release H.R.H. and the rest of our faithful friends who
are in the secret from the pledge to keep it any longer, for we
announce, with sincere pleasure, that the (honor of the statue is
»r. tyWWm!
Not wishing to credit himself with any liberaHt.y not properly his
own, he adds that he raised the money by preserving, for a year, the
volunteered communications of unwelcome correspondents, and that
having filled an enormous number of sacks with these productions
(the system is in full operation, vide advertisements), he sold them,
to be boiled down into new and spotless paper. He is sure that his
talented but unfortunate correspondents wRl be delighted to hear
this, and he begs to inform them that he intends to continue the
practice of Sacking his Yolunteers.