DOI Heft:
February 28, 1874
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16938#0091
February 28, 1874.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
ELEGY ON AN EX-MINISTRY.
There lies a Government, from care and strife,
Where now at last its members find release.
They should enjoy repose ; for, e’en in life,
As everybody knew, their end was peace.
Peace they so loved, that, though to pay for aught
Above all woes they deemed affliction sore,
High was the price at which that peace was bought;
And may it, in the end, not cost us more!
To one supreme intent their minds they gave;
They made economy their sovereign good.
Their chiefest purpose was expense to save,
And show as large a surplus as they could.
This all-important object to obtain,
On smallest means that offered they would seize,
And all their energies were wont to strain,
With view to skin a flint or pare a cheese.
Hence, in all humbler service of the State,
Retrenchment without mercy they pursued.
Thus hard dismissal, and the pauper’s fate,
Unhappy clerks and dockyard workmen rued.
Men cared not for the glory of the earth,
They, whose sole question touching public land
Was how it best would pay, as money’s worth.
Why should a useless Epping Forest stand?
Ah, what avail economies none feel
But those they pinch! Alas, what signifies
A sight of good you ’ve done the commonweal
When individuals all denounce your eyes ?
They sacrificed the Irish Church, intent
On justice ; loyal friends they rendered cool;
Redressed a wrong which grieved a sentiment:
And reaped reward in clamour for Home Rule.
To all true Liberals liberty is dear.
Restrictions for estrangement gave them cause.
Why vex and anger them that love their beer
By Sabbatarian sumptuary laws ?
And some there were, in cynic sort that stood
Against all comers with a suit to press ;
To make things as unpleasant as they could
They tried, and 0 with what complete success !
But nothing, if not good, of them that rest!—
A war they did against abuses wage.
To do as they thought fit they did their best;
And will have made their mark on History’s page.
Very New Music.
“ Why I love thee ask the Noses,” a Hebrew ballad. Companion
to “ Why I love thee ask the Roses”
“ Melody for an Elderly Spinster,” a fantasia. By the Composer
of “ Song of the Old Bell.”
“ Four, Afternoon ! O so late ! ” Companion to “ One Morning !
O so early ! ”
“ There’s nothing like Bitter Beer ! ” A new Bass song.
“ Then You 'll Re-member Me ! ” Song addressed by an ex-M.P.
to his late constituents, in view of a future election.
A MATHEMATICAL CERTAINTY.
The celebrated problem of squaring the circle is by most people
considered to be utterly insoluble. Yet, assuming that the pugilistic
ring may be regarded as a circle, there are knowing ones who well
know how to “ square ” it when they like.
THE PROPHET JAMAIS.
It will be recollected that, whilst the French troops
were occupying the present capital of Italy, M. Rouher,
Imperialist Minister, declared that Italy should go to
Rome—“jamais! ” M. Jamais has now published a
letter in the Ami de l' Or dr e, recommending the Bona-
partists to bide their time during Marshal MacMahon’s
seven years, at the end of which M. Jamais thinks it will
arrive. Accordingly, M. Jamais predicts that—
“ The intermediate regime will never dare to meet the verdict
of the country. When universal suffrage is called upon, I am
convinced the citizen class, cured of its extravagances (the great
majority of the electors), will be in accord to re-establish what
the insurrection of Paris broke to pieces.”
M. J a mats may possibly prove a truer prophet for the
Bonaparte dynasty than he did for the Papacy. There
is no knowing what seven years may bring forth, espe-
cially in France; and the prophecy that, one of these
days, there will be a Napoleon the Fourth, may by-
and-by be fulfilled, notwithstanding that at present
it can hardly be mentioned without provoking the
exclamation—“ Jamais ! ”
Channel Insular Government.
The Standard announces that a vacancy in the judicial
bench of Jersey has been filled by the appointment of Mr.
Briar, formerly a ship-captain, and for several years,
up to about twelve months ago, harbour-master at St.
Helier’s. According to our Conservative contemporary,
“Judges in the island of Jersey are appointed without
any regard to their special aptitude for the duties of that
important position by reason of any legal knowledge
they possess.” The Judges derive their office from the
Sovereign People, who elect them. No doubt they do
indifferently administer justice. Thus much for Home
Rule in Jersey. Who imagines that it wouldn’t do
equal wonders for Ireland ?
REMARKABLE.
One of the quietest places in Ireland is Clonmacnoise.
You wouldn’t have thought it.
CAUTION.
Host. “ Just another wee Drap ’fore you go-”
Guest. “ Na, na, a’ll tak’ nae mair ! I’m in a new Lodgin’, and I’m
NO VERA WEEL ACQUAINTED Wl’ THE STAIR ! ! ”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
ELEGY ON AN EX-MINISTRY.
There lies a Government, from care and strife,
Where now at last its members find release.
They should enjoy repose ; for, e’en in life,
As everybody knew, their end was peace.
Peace they so loved, that, though to pay for aught
Above all woes they deemed affliction sore,
High was the price at which that peace was bought;
And may it, in the end, not cost us more!
To one supreme intent their minds they gave;
They made economy their sovereign good.
Their chiefest purpose was expense to save,
And show as large a surplus as they could.
This all-important object to obtain,
On smallest means that offered they would seize,
And all their energies were wont to strain,
With view to skin a flint or pare a cheese.
Hence, in all humbler service of the State,
Retrenchment without mercy they pursued.
Thus hard dismissal, and the pauper’s fate,
Unhappy clerks and dockyard workmen rued.
Men cared not for the glory of the earth,
They, whose sole question touching public land
Was how it best would pay, as money’s worth.
Why should a useless Epping Forest stand?
Ah, what avail economies none feel
But those they pinch! Alas, what signifies
A sight of good you ’ve done the commonweal
When individuals all denounce your eyes ?
They sacrificed the Irish Church, intent
On justice ; loyal friends they rendered cool;
Redressed a wrong which grieved a sentiment:
And reaped reward in clamour for Home Rule.
To all true Liberals liberty is dear.
Restrictions for estrangement gave them cause.
Why vex and anger them that love their beer
By Sabbatarian sumptuary laws ?
And some there were, in cynic sort that stood
Against all comers with a suit to press ;
To make things as unpleasant as they could
They tried, and 0 with what complete success !
But nothing, if not good, of them that rest!—
A war they did against abuses wage.
To do as they thought fit they did their best;
And will have made their mark on History’s page.
Very New Music.
“ Why I love thee ask the Noses,” a Hebrew ballad. Companion
to “ Why I love thee ask the Roses”
“ Melody for an Elderly Spinster,” a fantasia. By the Composer
of “ Song of the Old Bell.”
“ Four, Afternoon ! O so late ! ” Companion to “ One Morning !
O so early ! ”
“ There’s nothing like Bitter Beer ! ” A new Bass song.
“ Then You 'll Re-member Me ! ” Song addressed by an ex-M.P.
to his late constituents, in view of a future election.
A MATHEMATICAL CERTAINTY.
The celebrated problem of squaring the circle is by most people
considered to be utterly insoluble. Yet, assuming that the pugilistic
ring may be regarded as a circle, there are knowing ones who well
know how to “ square ” it when they like.
THE PROPHET JAMAIS.
It will be recollected that, whilst the French troops
were occupying the present capital of Italy, M. Rouher,
Imperialist Minister, declared that Italy should go to
Rome—“jamais! ” M. Jamais has now published a
letter in the Ami de l' Or dr e, recommending the Bona-
partists to bide their time during Marshal MacMahon’s
seven years, at the end of which M. Jamais thinks it will
arrive. Accordingly, M. Jamais predicts that—
“ The intermediate regime will never dare to meet the verdict
of the country. When universal suffrage is called upon, I am
convinced the citizen class, cured of its extravagances (the great
majority of the electors), will be in accord to re-establish what
the insurrection of Paris broke to pieces.”
M. J a mats may possibly prove a truer prophet for the
Bonaparte dynasty than he did for the Papacy. There
is no knowing what seven years may bring forth, espe-
cially in France; and the prophecy that, one of these
days, there will be a Napoleon the Fourth, may by-
and-by be fulfilled, notwithstanding that at present
it can hardly be mentioned without provoking the
exclamation—“ Jamais ! ”
Channel Insular Government.
The Standard announces that a vacancy in the judicial
bench of Jersey has been filled by the appointment of Mr.
Briar, formerly a ship-captain, and for several years,
up to about twelve months ago, harbour-master at St.
Helier’s. According to our Conservative contemporary,
“Judges in the island of Jersey are appointed without
any regard to their special aptitude for the duties of that
important position by reason of any legal knowledge
they possess.” The Judges derive their office from the
Sovereign People, who elect them. No doubt they do
indifferently administer justice. Thus much for Home
Rule in Jersey. Who imagines that it wouldn’t do
equal wonders for Ireland ?
REMARKABLE.
One of the quietest places in Ireland is Clonmacnoise.
You wouldn’t have thought it.
CAUTION.
Host. “ Just another wee Drap ’fore you go-”
Guest. “ Na, na, a’ll tak’ nae mair ! I’m in a new Lodgin’, and I’m
NO VERA WEEL ACQUAINTED Wl’ THE STAIR ! ! ”