DOI Heft:
February 7, 1874
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16938#0069
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62 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 7, 1874
examination. This was the reply which he made not long ago to si gentle-
man who holds very close relations with him.”
This stoical firmness in resisting the solicitations even of closest
friends is, doubtless, a virtue redounding1 very considerably to the
credit of the Home Secretary, because its exercise necessarily costs
him great pain. It is possible to imagine a Minister who might, in
a sense, say for himself what Mephistopheles said—“ I am the spirit
that still denies ; ” but that is not Mr. Lowe. Everybody can tell,
from the style of language in which he is wont to reject applications,
how much it grieves him to refuse anybody anything. Many persons
are so good-natured, and also so irresolute, that they are never able
to say no, and it is quite manifest that our genial and benignant
Home Secretary would be one of them, if his benevolence were not
controlled by a stern sense of duty ; to which, however, the effort
of obedience must be distressing in the extreme.
MORE EXAMINATIONS.
ce System of Competitive
Examination, invented by
the Chinese and adopted
by ourselves, and ranking
along with steam and steel-
pens amongst the proudest
trophies of modern civili-
sation, is likely at no dis-
tant date to be tried in
quarters where the Civil
Service Commissioners can
hardly dare to have hoped
it would ever have been
entertained, except as a
subject for derision and
ridicule.
We learn from an unim-
peachable source that the
Clubs are so full, and the
number of Candidates for
admission so immense, that
the various Committees are
gravely considering the
propriety of instituting a
preliminary examination,
with the view of admit-
ting to ballot only those
gentlemen who pass satis-
factorily and obtain a
prescribed number of
marks.
A proposed Examina-
tion Paper, marked “Pri-
vate and confidential,” has been brought under our notice, but as
it hardly comes up to that high standard which we feel the Com-
mittees ought to aim at, we have drawn up a few questions which
will at once be recognised as supplying a fair test of the qualifica-
tions of candidates for Club Membership.
PRELIMINARY PAPER.
For which no Maries will be awarded.
N.B.—It is indispensable that candidates return answers to all
these questions, in their oivn handwriting.
State your name, age, residence (with letters of postal district),
profession (if any), income, and family connections.
"Were you at a Public School, and are you a Member of one of the
Universities ?
Describe your personal appearance, or, if more agreeable, enclose
your photograph (cabinet size).
Give the names and addresses of three householders (one of whom
at least must be married) with whom you are in the habit of dining.
Give your reasons for considering yourself “ a clubable man.”
How long have you been a candidate F
Have you sought admission to any other Club; and, if so, with
what result ?
GENERAL PAPER.
(The answers to be written legibly, and on one side of the paper only.)
What is the derivation of the word “ Club ? ” If you deduce it
from a Sanskrit rather than from an Anglo-Saxon root, state your
reasons for this preference.
Give the various meanings of “ Club,” with passages in illustra-
tion from standard authors, confining yourself to the period begin-
ning with Chaucer and ending with Carlyle.
Sketch concisely the history of the Clubs of London; and state
succinctly what you know of their forerunners, the Taverns and
Coffeehouses, in the interval between 1600 and 1780, or, roundl v
speaking, from Ben Jonson to Dr. Johnson.
Quote passages from English writers (Addison to Macaulay) in
which mention is made of London Clubs.
Give short biographical notices, with dates, of Almack, Arthur,
Boodle, Brooks, Button, Crockeord, Old Slaughter, Pratt, and
White.
Explain “ Athenseum,” “Beefsteak Club,” “Carlton,” “Cocoa
Tree,” “Cosmopolitan” “Garrick,” “Hogarth,” “Hummums,”
“ Savage,” “Thatched House,” and “Windham,”—elucidating
all the classical, social, political, literary, dramatic, and artistic
allusions contained under these names.
Draw up a menu of a dinner for yourself and three friends, in the
months of January, April, .Tune, and October, respectively.
Trumps have been round twice. Your partner has played the
Queen, your right-hand adversary the Knave. You have King, ten,
and a small one in your hand, and it is your turn to play. What
ought you to lead to win the odd trick ?
Name a few of the eminent men who have belonged to the London
Clubs since the commencement of the present century, and describe
their idiosyncrasies.
Quote an anecdote or bon-mot of any three of the following wits—
George Selwyn, Horace Walpole, Beau Brummel, Luttrell,
Lord Alvanley, Tom Moore, Theodore Hook, Rogers, Sydney
Smith, and Douglas Jerrold.
What traces of the existence of Clubs do we find in ancient
classical writers F
What is the style of architecture of the Athenaeum, Oxford and
Cambridge, Thatched House, and Travellers F
Tabulate the different growths of Claret; and mention the most
celebrated vintages, since 1840, of Port, Chateau Lafitte, Chambertin,
and Vin ordinaire. Give the latitude and longitude of “ Johannis-
berg,” “Epernav,” “Cognac,” “Curasao,” “Madeira,” “Chablis,”
and “ Schiedam.”
Write a short essay on “ Tobacco.”
(Time allowed for this paper, 10 to 3.)
It is understood that the names of the successful Candidates,
arranged in order of merit and with the number of marks each has
obtained, will be published in the daily papers. It is not impro-
bable that the three highest on the list will be elected at once, without
a ballot.
The Committees reserve to themselves the right of requiring a
personal interview with the successful candidates.
DENIABLE INTELLIGENCE.
It is whispered at the Clubs that the street-sweepers of London
are about, weather permitting, to hold a festive meeting, to celebrate
the promised abolition of the Income-tax.
It is not generally known that once at least in every cause the
junior counsel are permitted to jump to a conclusion when they go
on a Spring Circuit.
Now that the Royal Happy Couple are so soon to come among us,
it will surprise no one to hear that in the ensuing season dinners
will be generally given a la Russe.
It cannot be too widely mentioned that a duplicate of the famous
Outram Statue has been ordered by the War Office, and will shortly be
“ inaugurated ” by His Royal Highness the Commander-in-Chief.
The sentimental gentleman who described himself the other day
as being lost in thought, has, since then, been discovered sitting in
an omnibus.
It is rumoured in high circles of provincial society that no fewer
than two senior members of a School-Board near Stoke Pogis are
ignorant of the width, and one also of the whereabouts, of the
Straits of Malacca.
In his anxiety to please the advocates of the Permissive Bill, it
is said that a Scotch candidate has., since the. day of Dissolution,
maintained a total abstinence from his usual animal spirits.
A rumour is current that the Jockey Club of Paris, wishing to
evince its love of British sports and pastimes, has issued invitations
for a series of foot-balls.
We believe it is no secret that, somewhere about the middle of
next week, Prince Bismarck is expected to arrive at the Yatican,
on a friendly private visit to His Holiness the Pope.
Winter Music.
Although this year there is no winter, there are plenty of ynnter
concerts, besides those which take place weekly at the Crystal
Palace. In the Parks there are the concerts daily given by the
thrushes, and in the streets the bands and barrel-organs are in con-
tinual play. Unchecked by any frost, the hounds throughout the
country are daily in full cry, and make music that is melancholy
only to the fox.
62 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 7, 1874
examination. This was the reply which he made not long ago to si gentle-
man who holds very close relations with him.”
This stoical firmness in resisting the solicitations even of closest
friends is, doubtless, a virtue redounding1 very considerably to the
credit of the Home Secretary, because its exercise necessarily costs
him great pain. It is possible to imagine a Minister who might, in
a sense, say for himself what Mephistopheles said—“ I am the spirit
that still denies ; ” but that is not Mr. Lowe. Everybody can tell,
from the style of language in which he is wont to reject applications,
how much it grieves him to refuse anybody anything. Many persons
are so good-natured, and also so irresolute, that they are never able
to say no, and it is quite manifest that our genial and benignant
Home Secretary would be one of them, if his benevolence were not
controlled by a stern sense of duty ; to which, however, the effort
of obedience must be distressing in the extreme.
MORE EXAMINATIONS.
ce System of Competitive
Examination, invented by
the Chinese and adopted
by ourselves, and ranking
along with steam and steel-
pens amongst the proudest
trophies of modern civili-
sation, is likely at no dis-
tant date to be tried in
quarters where the Civil
Service Commissioners can
hardly dare to have hoped
it would ever have been
entertained, except as a
subject for derision and
ridicule.
We learn from an unim-
peachable source that the
Clubs are so full, and the
number of Candidates for
admission so immense, that
the various Committees are
gravely considering the
propriety of instituting a
preliminary examination,
with the view of admit-
ting to ballot only those
gentlemen who pass satis-
factorily and obtain a
prescribed number of
marks.
A proposed Examina-
tion Paper, marked “Pri-
vate and confidential,” has been brought under our notice, but as
it hardly comes up to that high standard which we feel the Com-
mittees ought to aim at, we have drawn up a few questions which
will at once be recognised as supplying a fair test of the qualifica-
tions of candidates for Club Membership.
PRELIMINARY PAPER.
For which no Maries will be awarded.
N.B.—It is indispensable that candidates return answers to all
these questions, in their oivn handwriting.
State your name, age, residence (with letters of postal district),
profession (if any), income, and family connections.
"Were you at a Public School, and are you a Member of one of the
Universities ?
Describe your personal appearance, or, if more agreeable, enclose
your photograph (cabinet size).
Give the names and addresses of three householders (one of whom
at least must be married) with whom you are in the habit of dining.
Give your reasons for considering yourself “ a clubable man.”
How long have you been a candidate F
Have you sought admission to any other Club; and, if so, with
what result ?
GENERAL PAPER.
(The answers to be written legibly, and on one side of the paper only.)
What is the derivation of the word “ Club ? ” If you deduce it
from a Sanskrit rather than from an Anglo-Saxon root, state your
reasons for this preference.
Give the various meanings of “ Club,” with passages in illustra-
tion from standard authors, confining yourself to the period begin-
ning with Chaucer and ending with Carlyle.
Sketch concisely the history of the Clubs of London; and state
succinctly what you know of their forerunners, the Taverns and
Coffeehouses, in the interval between 1600 and 1780, or, roundl v
speaking, from Ben Jonson to Dr. Johnson.
Quote passages from English writers (Addison to Macaulay) in
which mention is made of London Clubs.
Give short biographical notices, with dates, of Almack, Arthur,
Boodle, Brooks, Button, Crockeord, Old Slaughter, Pratt, and
White.
Explain “ Athenseum,” “Beefsteak Club,” “Carlton,” “Cocoa
Tree,” “Cosmopolitan” “Garrick,” “Hogarth,” “Hummums,”
“ Savage,” “Thatched House,” and “Windham,”—elucidating
all the classical, social, political, literary, dramatic, and artistic
allusions contained under these names.
Draw up a menu of a dinner for yourself and three friends, in the
months of January, April, .Tune, and October, respectively.
Trumps have been round twice. Your partner has played the
Queen, your right-hand adversary the Knave. You have King, ten,
and a small one in your hand, and it is your turn to play. What
ought you to lead to win the odd trick ?
Name a few of the eminent men who have belonged to the London
Clubs since the commencement of the present century, and describe
their idiosyncrasies.
Quote an anecdote or bon-mot of any three of the following wits—
George Selwyn, Horace Walpole, Beau Brummel, Luttrell,
Lord Alvanley, Tom Moore, Theodore Hook, Rogers, Sydney
Smith, and Douglas Jerrold.
What traces of the existence of Clubs do we find in ancient
classical writers F
What is the style of architecture of the Athenaeum, Oxford and
Cambridge, Thatched House, and Travellers F
Tabulate the different growths of Claret; and mention the most
celebrated vintages, since 1840, of Port, Chateau Lafitte, Chambertin,
and Vin ordinaire. Give the latitude and longitude of “ Johannis-
berg,” “Epernav,” “Cognac,” “Curasao,” “Madeira,” “Chablis,”
and “ Schiedam.”
Write a short essay on “ Tobacco.”
(Time allowed for this paper, 10 to 3.)
It is understood that the names of the successful Candidates,
arranged in order of merit and with the number of marks each has
obtained, will be published in the daily papers. It is not impro-
bable that the three highest on the list will be elected at once, without
a ballot.
The Committees reserve to themselves the right of requiring a
personal interview with the successful candidates.
DENIABLE INTELLIGENCE.
It is whispered at the Clubs that the street-sweepers of London
are about, weather permitting, to hold a festive meeting, to celebrate
the promised abolition of the Income-tax.
It is not generally known that once at least in every cause the
junior counsel are permitted to jump to a conclusion when they go
on a Spring Circuit.
Now that the Royal Happy Couple are so soon to come among us,
it will surprise no one to hear that in the ensuing season dinners
will be generally given a la Russe.
It cannot be too widely mentioned that a duplicate of the famous
Outram Statue has been ordered by the War Office, and will shortly be
“ inaugurated ” by His Royal Highness the Commander-in-Chief.
The sentimental gentleman who described himself the other day
as being lost in thought, has, since then, been discovered sitting in
an omnibus.
It is rumoured in high circles of provincial society that no fewer
than two senior members of a School-Board near Stoke Pogis are
ignorant of the width, and one also of the whereabouts, of the
Straits of Malacca.
In his anxiety to please the advocates of the Permissive Bill, it
is said that a Scotch candidate has., since the. day of Dissolution,
maintained a total abstinence from his usual animal spirits.
A rumour is current that the Jockey Club of Paris, wishing to
evince its love of British sports and pastimes, has issued invitations
for a series of foot-balls.
We believe it is no secret that, somewhere about the middle of
next week, Prince Bismarck is expected to arrive at the Yatican,
on a friendly private visit to His Holiness the Pope.
Winter Music.
Although this year there is no winter, there are plenty of ynnter
concerts, besides those which take place weekly at the Crystal
Palace. In the Parks there are the concerts daily given by the
thrushes, and in the streets the bands and barrel-organs are in con-
tinual play. Unchecked by any frost, the hounds throughout the
country are daily in full cry, and make music that is melancholy
only to the fox.