Punch (66.1874)

88 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 28, 1874.

NEMESIS.

A REMINISCENCE OF ST. VALENTINE’S DAY.

“ O, Mamma ! Such a Shame ! You know that lovely Valentine that Margaret Scott sent me, and that l after-
wards sent to Mary Wilcox ? ” “ Yes ! Well ! ”

“ Well, Mary Wilcox must have sent it to Grace Barnet, for Grace Barnet has just sent it back to me ! ”

PUNCH’S PERI IN PARADISE.

AT LAST!

Leave luscious Tom Moore to bewarble the glories
Of Paradise barred to his Peri forlorn—

For his Peri, give Punch the great teacher of Tories,

And for Eden, long-forfeit, the Treasury bourne !

In the Tom-Moorish legend, the Peri ’twas given
To the portals of Paradise access to win,

"When she brought there the gift that was dearest to Heaven—
The tear of a sinner bewailing his sin.

So Ben, Punch's Peri, the key talismanic
To the gates of his Downing Street Eden must find,

Through Protean changes, and labours Titanic
In teaching a class, sore to learn disinclined.

He hath digged for his key- stone—who knows in what diggings!

For his talisman dived—in what depths, through what grief !
Made Tories, bewildered, submit to what Whiggings !

Blown what bubbles prismatic ot speech, bright as brief!

For the dumb has found words, wit for dull, wind for weary;

His brains, time, and tongue to his party has given ;

Has brought gift after gift that he thought—patient Peri!—
Might turn out the passport to Downing Street Heaven.

First, picklock Protection he tried on the portal
That bars Place’s Eden to daring desire,

When he brought from the battle to Corn Duties mortal,

The sigh of a Peel, and the smile of a Squire.

“ The smile of a Squire ?” quoth the Messenger Angel,

Who does Peter’s office at Downing Street door,

“ Smiled since Corn-Law repeal, ruin’s certain evangel,

Is precious, no doubt, but we need something more.

“ Then the sigh of a Peel, from the smart of thy arrows—
Barbed ever, oft poisoned, and levelled too low—

May prove how, at times, eagles suffer from sparrows,

But as passport to Paradise Place is no go.”

Away flew the Peri, a fetterless rover
O’er the wide-spread domain between Chaos and Crown,

For Democracy’s doctrine Protection flung over,

And blithe, at the gate, Household Suffrage flung down.

But “ No,” quoth the Angel, “ Reform Bills for pass-keys
Can serve only those who have faith in their power,—

As infallible Popes have believed in their Mass-keys,—

Not those who adopt them as toys of the hour.”

Back again flew the Peri, unwearied, undaunted,

Of all cries swept the earth and the air, far and near,

Then knocked at the gate—with ‘ ‘ At last, see, what’s wanted,
Triple Talisman—Ballot, and Bible, and Beer! ”

The Messenger Angel bowed low—on their hinges
The gates flew back swiftly, constrained to obey,

And the last thing I saw, was the Peri’s wing-fringes
Into Treasury Paradise cleaving their way !

Pontifical Troops.

Referring to Continental affairs, a contemporary announces
that—

“ Considerable agitation has been produced in Switzerland by the publica-
tion of an Ultramontane pamphlet entitled An Appeal to the Pioneers.”

Perhaps the “ Appeal” ostensibly directed to the “ Pioneers” was
in reality rather addressed to the Sappers and Miners.